Finding Jesus on the outside of your book!

It's that time of year again! Time to join the next Bible Study. Women's Bible studies have been a part of my journey for many, many, many years and anticipation grows with each one. Oh the joy of knowing something great is going to happen in the heavenly world we live in and the one we can touch and feel here. 
Week by week, new friendships are established and old ones strengthen, minds are blown at new truths learned and hearts softened and God's healing balm binds our wounds. Our spirits rejoice at the gathering, can you even imagine what He must feel when His children come to Him and ask for His love, assurance, direction and courage, peace and healing, wisdom and hope!?! We come feeling inadequate but eager to know our Father Better. You know He must leap off the Throne and smile! Do you think He exclaims HALLELUJAH!?! I bet He does!
Today, our small group gathered for our first day of Entrusted. As I prayed over our gathering time, God opened my eyes to something I hadn't really thought of and I shared it with the ladies, and I would like to share it with you too for the sake of deeper and wider growth as we enter in.
When we join a study and face the soul-searching, Scripture-homework, the tough questions, learning about God, learning about ourselves, we are seeking something more. More of what though? More than what we have. This week, God opened my eyes to look beyond the workbook itself. To see more than the Q&A's being asked of me. What happens on the outside of the book is just as important as what happens on the inside. Both have direct impacts on heart change. I have never focused on what happens on the outside of the covers of these books. Reflecting back, I see what He is talking about. 
Take the workbook away and ask a group of women to set aside 45 minutes of uninterrupted time every day to pray and worship and then a 2 hour time away to talk every week about their experiences, for 8 weeks and you've already seen a miracle! Then, we add into these moments, actual heart-work. Some chiseling and others mending work. It is exhausting and exhilarating at the same time. 
There is nothing like it when we intentionally get on the same page as God, with our Sisters. We grow in unique ways, one of which is accountability. When we join a study with other women, we are saying I don't want to do this alone, I want you to do it with me. We are committing ourselves as much to each other as we are to the personal study commitment between us and the Lord. We are saying I am going to walk this road with you and we will figure this out and help each other as we go. We are agreeing that our spirits can trust The One Who has gathered this specific group together at this specific time, for such a time as this to honestly share. We are gathering expecting to glimpse an extra dose of reality and strength. To know we are not the only ones struggling to answer question 4, page 26. To hear we are not the only woman stuck in a certain bad habit or behavior. To realize I am not the only one giving it my all I have and seeing no fruit, yet. To confirm something I have wondered. To be refreshed in Sisterhood blessings of laughter and hugs.
So often we see Bible study as the commitment to answered questions on the pages when what God is searching for is hearts falling deeper in Love's Name. Any Bible study we do, we ought to be looking for Jesus, on and off the pages. 
If you are new to a study or jumping back into one soon, I challenge you, I encourage you to look beyond the pages for what God has planned for you. Maybe your discipline for daily time management needs to be sharpened. Perhaps perfectionism or anxiety or shame might be overcome by the hugs and help of humility by way of vulnerability. There are probably a hundred different ways our Mighty and Gracious God uses to draw us closer to Him. 
Sister, He wrote The Book, cover to cover. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you in a fresh way this time. He is a faithful, jealous God. There is none more creative and awesome in power than He, so expect great things, in great ways...in many ways!  
I am so excited now to get started!!!!! Can't wait to find more of Jesus!!!           

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9

I Just Assumed...not any more!

I met a new friend this past week and in our "get to know" moment as we shared our story, a sentence came out of my mouth I had never thought of before and certainly had never said. I can only assume it was a God moment. Sometimes my assumption are right. Sometimes they are wrong.
Being the new (guy) gal in the community, I have been asked close to hundred times now, "What's your story? Why are you here?" Each time I get to share, God reminds me of His plan and the perfection of His timing. Last week was really no different...same testimony, different new friend. After sharing the summary of details and God's divine leading us in our move to Florida, I said these "crazy" words as a summery point of how God has been working on me over the past several years. This phrase came out my mouth for the first time... Assumptive Living. Assumptive Living. I said, "God has taken me from living a life of assumptive living to intentional living." I sat kinda of dumb founded for a minute trying to process why in the world did I just say that. 
Over the past several years, God has been walking me though Intentional Living. So much so, he even brought a dear Mentor and Friend into my life who actually used those words every time she talked. God could not have been obvious. She was a huge part of the refining process my heart and mind needed to endure and be shaped by. Knowing why I do what I do. Choosing to own my actions and not play the blame game in life. Stepping out in courage after the things God calls me to. Being intentional about growing in my knowledge and deepening my love with my Savior and Abba Father. But the years before this....not so much. I intentionally...assumed.
I have always described my personality issues as anxious and shy. One who fears the unknown, a follower not a leader. But then there were these words...Assumptive Living...wow. It was true. I had never thought about that before. For most of my life, I have been fearful and anxious. I feel it inside me, raised blood pressure and heart racing, feeling as if I couldn't breath. Double checking everything I do in fear of judgement, which would lead to fear of rejection. Ever watchful of my surrounding, fearful of personal harm to me or my kids. Choosing to always follow to avoid failing. Avoiding others or opportunities felt safer to me than putting myself out there. I assumed the worst. I assumed. There it was. Assumptive Living.
If we go through life assuming we will fail, we will never try. We will never accomplish what we have been called to do. If we assume rejection, we will never have victory or courage to embrace and enjoy meaning relationships and friendships or partnerships in the work place. If we assume someone is always looking to harm us or one of our loved ones, we will never fully appreciate the beauty of God's creation. We will see so narrowly, that we miss the big picture. What kind of life is Assumptive Living? I will tell you. 
It's one thing to assume the worst and plan for the worst verses planning for the worst and hoping for the best. I realize now in hindsight how much anxiety and fear I self-created simply by assuming. How I must have grieved the heart of God with how I lived so wrongly fearful and anxious...never resting in His arms or grasping my identity in His Name. Oh the power I didn't claim, the grace I rejected, the blessings I missed. Something no one else knew, and I didn't even recognize myself back then. Thank God, His mercies are new every morning! Lamentation 3!! Looking back, my identity was not His...
I assumed I wouldn't be successful. Inadequate
I assumed I was making wrong choices. Doubting
I assumed my friend would not like me once they got to know me. Insecure
I assumed everyone else must be right, assuming they must be more intelligent or talented than I. Minimal 
I assumed I was the "lesser than" of the group. Pitiful
I assumed others could do it better, whatever "it" was at the time. Dumb
I assumed my husband would find other women sexier than me. Ugly
I assumed other parents has mastered this thing called parenting. Judgement
I assumed all the other Stay At Home Moms had perfectly cleaned house and dinner prepped for week on Sunday and all their clothes were in their rightful place. Comparison
I just assumed everything, even spiritually....
I assumed God loved me because that is what I had been taught in every church, in every Bible study, at every conference. 
I assumed and hoped He would always be with me. 
I assumed and hoped He would give me Peace when I needed it. 
I assumed and hoped He would be my Rock, my Comfort, my Healer.
Seriously, what a horrible way to live! Assuming everything...not knowing anything except doubt and fear, always hoping for being right. With a smile always on my face, no one could have known, and even today, people don't see the splinters, scars and thorns. Grace, Grace, Amazing Grace!!!! I have learned to receive Grace. I have learned not only Who God is personally, but who that makes me as His child. What an amazing feeling inside your soul when you know that you know. When someone asks you why, and you can confidently give an answer to the hope and the reason of your life.
God, gracious and gentle, looooong suffering over me, for sure, gave me the opportunity to get over living life assumptively. Through a season of panic attacks and anxiety attacks, I had to do some deep heart, soul, mind and spirit searching! 
I assumed I could handle life controlling myself, my circumstances and others. Here is where I learned my assumptions were all wrong. 
I assumed the life I was trying so hard to be perfect at would be the best life. Wrong! My best life has been lived ever since. The best life is living an intentional life!
How great to walk through a day nervous, sure. Feeling a little insecure, sure....yet doing life anyway! I certainly haven't arrived, and I still find thorns to pull out of my flesh at times, but how grateful I am to get the chance to have a do-over in this life! Every day I get to be more intentional! Thank You Lord for being steadfastly intentional for me!!
I know that I know God has a plan to prosper me and not harm me. Jeremiah 29
I know that I know He will never leave me. Deuteronomy 31
I know that I know He forgives me, loves me and hears me. John 3
I know that I know He is the Orchestrator of my life, leading me in my endeavors, my relationships, in my parenting, friendships, service, ministry, etc. Isaiah 40
I know that I know nothing escapes His care or His provision. 
Yes, bad things will still happen this side of eternity, but I know that I know I am Redeemed by the Great I Am. I am protected by The King of Kings. I am not a loss cause. I am not alone. I know that I know He hears my cries and my prayers and rejoices in my accomplishments even if I have failed the 10 times before. 
I know that I know God loves every single one of us and has a divinely great plan for a beautiful life, free of....assumptions!
If this is you too, (I am assuming I am not the only one who has been here), don't assume another day. Live fully, embracing each day's plan and grace for every moment. Be intentional in knowing what it is you need to get your head and heart wrapped around, to bring glory to the One Intentional God. How? Let go of being in control and Trust The Only Faithful and Steadfast One. Surrender your fears and assumptions into Hope Himself. You must be in His Word. You must pray and talk to Him, learning to listen for His voice. How else will you know Him? It was through digging into His Word searching for Him, worshiping Him in truth, not feeling. Praying in petition and in waiting for His response. It was remembering Who was in charge of my life, the comings and goings, the direction and the provision of every day. Calling out to The One I knew heard me, saw me and held me. Knowing in my head the Truth while embracing the Heart of The One who held mine together. It was remembering that God was ultimately in control and I needed to trust Him, loving Him above all else, with all my heart and might.
Life is best lived, intentionally living and loving, giving life and blessings, while receiving life and blessings!! Life is good because God is good! Hallelujah!!!!!
Thank You Lord for intentionally creating the world, and all that is within it, seen and unseen. Thank You for the grace You alone cover us with so that we can work out our insecurities, inadequacies, our callings for Your glory this side of Heaven. May we never assume Your love, mercy, forgiveness, peace, comfort. May we never assume Your grace will run out. Help us in our minds to embrace the knowledge of who You are and help our hearts to grasp how deep and wide Your love for us is. God, we are so sorry for taking the weight of burdens in this life upon our own shoulders. May we call to mind Your love and friendship that are never ceasing. Thank You for Your Word to teach us what we need to know. Thank You for your friendship and Fatherhood that proves it. Thank You Holy Spirit for leading us, encouraging us, prompting us to remember and to worship in truth! You are a great, great God...I know that I know this is true!! Bless Your Holy Name, amen.

Psalm 57, "Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by.  

I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me. He will send from heaven and save me; he will put to shame him who tramples on me.
God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness! My soul is in the midst of lions; I lie down amid fiery beasts-- the children of man, whose teeth are spears and arrows, whose tongues are sharp swords. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens!

Let your glory be over all the earth! They set a net for my steps; my soul was bowed down. They dug a pit in my way, but they have fallen into it themselves.
My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast! I will sing and make melody! Awake, my glory! Awake, O harp and lyre! I will awake the dawn! I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples; I will sing praises to you among the nations. For your steadfast love is great to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens! Let your glory be over all the earth!"

Accountability takes guts!!! Do you have it?!?

Accountability takes guts! When someone humbles themselves enough to say, "I can't do this on my own, I need help," that takes guts! What a great ministry to share with someone. It is both a great honor and responsibility we then have to hold them accountable to whatever it is they are asking. It should not be a quick decision on our part to say, "Sure I will be your accountability partner." We must first pray and ask God if it is His plan for you to be the one to hold the accountability with them, just as in every ministry commitment we are presented. If God is not in it, it won't be fruitful and if God is leading them to this place, He has already equipped someone to come alongside them and it may not be you. 
If God confirms His Yes for the new partnership, then sit down together and be open and honest about expectations and boundaries. What is the specific need? How often do they feel they should check in with you or do they expect/hope you will check in on them? What is the time frame which ya'll will commit to in the beginning? What if they have not met the current expectation, do they want a little nudge of encouragement or a big kick-in-the-backside kind of push? Everyone's personalities are different, what works for us doesn't necessarily work for the other person. It's important to have these conversations to thwart any misunderstandings, unmet expectations and to have the greatest benefit in achieving the end result. 
I am soooo thankful for the people God has placed in my life over the years to hold me accountable. God is so good to give us what we need. Several years ago I found myself taking a sort of inventory of my life- where did I spend most of my time, what did I do with my time, who were my friends, who did I trust in my inner circle of friends, what were my goals, what needed to change, where was I headed physically emotionally and spiritually, etc. As I looked at the women God had (and continues to place in my life,) I realized they were all very confident and courageous women, in themselves and in God. It was what they all had in common. They loved God fiercely and without shame, and they were confident and bold women of faith. 
I always had wanted to be more like that but continually found myself hiding behind women like them. But God...He knew my heart's desires and "coincidently" established deep and wonderful friendships with these amazing women of all ages. Oh how I wished I could be more like them even to this day. They say what they mean. They face opposition and temptation with confidence that God is greater than anything they face. Scriptures flows through their innermost being-heart, mind and soul. They pray with diligence and anticipation. These women didn't hide behind anything. It was me who hid behind them! 
Fear of their judgement or potential disappointment kept me from asking for guidance and help. But there came a point in different areas in my life where I had had enough. Enough trying to do "it" on my own. I was sick of failing. It wasn't easy. Humbling yourself also means vulnerability. 
A perfectionist, a shy person, an insecure person, a person who struggles with anxiety/fear, a prideful person, someone who has trust issues because of past betrayals...it takes a lot for them to ask for help because it means they must first break down serious walls to let you in. That was me...all of those at one time in my life, for a greater part of my life actually. I know, many of you who know me today, or who have only known me for the past few years, cannot imagine me being so shy or anxious inside but to God be all the glory! I pray this testimony highlights His grace, redemption and healing. God has worked in my life in my time alone with Him and through the accountability and prayers of others. I trusted God had crossed our paths for such a time as this, and I needed to trust Him with the relationships and process.
That is why it is hugely important to pray about who you ask to hold you accountable because you are giving over to them something that is obviously important to you and you want this to be handled with Christ's care. And if you are the accountability partner, you must bathe them with prayer and interceded on their behalf so Satan doesn't get a foothold during this tender growing and pruning time in their life. 
There is something so precious when God blesses you with friends who share a like-mindedness of faith, beliefs, goals, desires, dreams. You find they are stronger in areas you are weaker and visa versa and you are a source of great encouragement and strength together. "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him--a threefold cord is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:9-12a. And "as iron sharpens iron" Proverbs 27:17, so we do!  
Different friends bring different gifts and blessings into your life. Having friends are important, so is having more than one. I don't think we need an army of them either but we do need a few close to the heart ones. If it is a healthy, God-centered relationship, there is a trust connection that only God can affirm and knit together a natural vulnerability to be who you are, where you are in your life and in that, a natural sense of accountability is understood and welcomed. You don't always have to formally ask. Just in sharing life together, you "encourage and stir one another up" (1 Thess 5:11) knowing where they need encouragement and how to motivate them towards holiness as they also do for you. We remind them about grace as we give them grace. We remind them and teach them how to stay strong as we stand in the trenches with them. We share in their joys and in their sorrows as life happens. Our friendships can be Lighthouses to each other and to a watching world who wonder "how can they be friends?" "how can they be so honest and happy?" "how can they be so trusting or loving or forgiving?" "where did they get their courage?" 

This New Years our family participated in our first 5K Walk, Run, Crawl together. It was a toss up of sleeping in or the race, but that was the very reason we needed to do this...to change things up and start something new. Well, my walking buddy girlfriend had also signed up and we decided in the least, we could manage to crawl it together since our kids would most likely beat us to the finish line by a landslide. Crawling was obviously allowed since it was part of the name! Neither of us had even walked that distance before so it turned into an encouragement-accounatability thing. She joked about finishing a lap and we could veer off course to the nearby beach, or walk home and have a cup of coffee together...tempting for sure, but there was that little thing called accountability that God had woven between us and we would walk it or crawl it to the end! I joked back that I would bring my tether rope and strap us together so if she or I tried to veer off course or slow down the other would be the pull that keeps us moving together on pace. And it was a great visual of walking together in Christ and the accountability we have within The Body. When one is weak, the other can be strong, " For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!" Between us, we will finish "the race." 
I can testify, life isn't always easy but it is true when others notice my "happy", I am happier now in my life than I have ever been before. Not just because I've had great accountability breakthroughs or the fact God has blessed me beyond what I deserve in the Sisterhood department, or that I am living in paradise, or that I am healthy, or that I have a husband and family who love me greatly, believe me, I count my blessings amongst all the trials and bad days...but I am happy and joy-filled because I realize (and am learning to embrace it more confidently) how much I am valued and loved, as John 3:16 says...enough to die for. I believe Jeremiah 29:11 is true for me just like it is true for everybody else. He has a plan, and it is good! I have grown in my faith, trusting God more than I trust myself. When I am weak, the grace of God gives me strength and if I need a little poke or a push, He is faithful to make sure I get it whether I think I need it or not! 
I owe a heartfelt THANK YOU to my Sisters in Christ who share their hearts with me, offering not only sharpening of spirits but also equal vulnerability and trustworthiness. Over the years, some of you have been in the deeper trenches with me and stuck with me till I got through the other side. Others have blessed me with opportunity to simply learn to be a real-goes both ways-friend, living honestly before you, admitting mistakes and weaknesses and receiving grace and sometimes a little push or poke, and yes, even a kick in my backside a few times. I can share struggles as easily as I share my victories without fear of judgement. My life is sweeter because of your love and accountability poured out in my life. Thank you from my heart!!!! ( I would love to scroll through and post some pictures right now and brag on you, but I will let God bless you in a special way!)
I don't know what it is that you are wishing for or possibly needing a breakthrough in your own life but through prayer, seeking God with all your heart, receiving His love for you, and embracing the people God places in your life to help you, you will overcome! There is strength in numbers!! Prepare yourself to do your part and pray for God to do the rest, trusting Him more than you trust yourself.   
"Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. " Romans 12:9-16


(For those wondering...yes, we did finish our first 5k and it was a blast! Walking (life) with a buddy makes it more fun and somehow times goes so much quicker. I find this to be true in most areas of life.)

And to my husband who has put up with me going on 22 years of marriage, thank you and I love you for putting up with all my quirks!! Thank you for encouraging my time spent in my relationships with so many amazing women and women's ministry events over the years. I am definitely a better wife to you because of their wisdom and examples shared and prayers lifted on my/our behalf!   
  

Thankful for Faith & Friends

It's that time of year when the ladies Bible study has ended and I sit and ask God. "What now?" Where, What, Who will I read and study during the holidays over the next 2 months? Sometimes He leads me to go back through the recent study or another from a different semester and review or do any that I missed a particular week. Sometimes I go back and study through sermon notes from the year, but always He leads me to reading and enjoying His Word. 

That's what I did this morning and I thought I'd share it with you. I love The Word! I decided to detail it out and make it come alive in my own visual and practical heart and head. It captivates my soul and I wonder why I haven't been sitting and just reading it every single day. I mean, I am in the Word daily, but it's one thing to study it verse by verse and it's a whole other approach to sit and stay in it. This morning's reading in 2 Peter 1, while it has tons of good applications, it also brought me to thanksgiving of fellowships in Christ. I am unpacking this and hope to share it with the family but I wanted to also share thanksgiving to those who stand beside me in the faith!! Those who have prayed me here where I am today, including the prayers of women I have only recently met!

 Hebrews 4:12 "For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart." It gets down in us and makes changes!! This is why it is soooo important who you trust to allow access to your heart and soul as your inner circle of friends and/or your mentors. They must be like-minded, not that we can't learn from differing opinions, but The Word says to guard your heart and mind in Him, to not share friendship with the world. I want people in my life who carry the armor of God with them to stand next to me on the battlefields and in the prayer closets. Other weapons will hurt me, but the weapons of God help me. I have been blessed beyond measure with such armed, Godly women! 

With our recent move out of state, my heart is even more grateful than ever for the friendships God establishes for my good and His glory! The Sister-friends who have pushed hard through my thick walls, the ones who stretched me and made me more pliable, the women who saw past my excuses and challenged me with grace. He blessed my life with women who not only led by spoken example, they live it. Strong, courageous women encircle me, from around the world!! Women who stand on The Word of God as absolute Truth and prove it to be true in their own life. Their faith walk match their faith talk. What treasures they are to me. I appreciate them so much, and it's not that I just miss them terribly, but that because of their impact in my life, I am stronger because of them through the work of the Holy Spirit in them. Because I am stronger, I can dig my roots deeper and wider all the way over here because they have showed me how it's done and they continue to stir me up across the miles. 

God also continues to surround me even here in our new place with Godly, genuine, courageous women. My heart overflows with thanksgiving at His abundance of grace! The greatest gift to me is not all these women's friendships combined, but their individual Sisterhood to me. Each one stirs me up in their own gifted way! They make every effort to remind me of God's love and provisions. They desire for me to be fruitful and effective in life and in spirit. How precious a gift is that?!? I am especially thankful today for each courageous woman God has knitted my heart to that remind me of the very reason I ought to make every effort to increasingly supplement my faith with more of God!!! I pray that upon my own departure (by location or for eternity), others will be stirred up and remember the greatness of God and the importance of supplementing our faith while receiving and trusting His grace, love and mercy! 

All this to say-choose your friends wisely and stay in the Word, increase your faith!!! I don't know what study you are doing for the holiday break, but it's easy to get busy with Holiday Life and fill your days with all the to-dos and get-readys and social parties. I encourage you to make sure you are in The Word, cuz it is where real change, real love, real help and real life is found! Jesus is the reason for the season...and for your life!!!

And to my amazing Sister-Friends, thank you for the reminders and bless you for stirring me up!!!! You know who you are! HUGS and LOVE!!!!! ~Me

Here are my notes from today's scripture~ 

2 Peter 1: 5-9, 12-15 "For this very reason (a statement presented in justification or explanation of a belief or action.) make every effort (exertion of physical or mental power) to supplement (to complete, add to, or extend by a supplement) your faith (belief in God) with virtue (moral excellence; goodness; righteousness; one of the three graces: faith, hope, or charity, infused into the human intellect and will by a special grace of God) and virtue with knowledge (acquaintance with facts, truths, or principles, as from study or investigation), 6 and knowledge with self-control (control or restraint of oneself or one's actions, feelings, etc.) and self-control with steadfastness (firm in purpose, resolution, faith, attachment,etc.) and steadfastness with godliness (conforming to the laws and wishes of God) 7 and godliness with brotherly (of, like, or befitting a brother; affectionate and loyal) affection (fond attachment, devotion, or love), and brotherly affection with love (a profoundly tender, passionate affection foranother person.) 

8 For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. 

12 Therefore I intend always to remind you of these qualities, though you know them and are established in the truth that you have. 13 I think it right, as long as I am in this body, to stir you up by way of reminder, 14 since I know that the putting off of my body will be soon, as our Lord Jesus Christ made clear to me. 15 And I will make every effort so that after my departure you may be able at any time to recall these things." 

Love is in the Dirt too!

"I waited patiently for the LORD; He inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD."  Psalm 40: 1-3

Have you ever felt like you were in a pit? The ground in which you found yourself standing became dusty, crawling with critters and it was gonna be a doozy to get out of? Maybe you are in one right now. How big is your pit? Enough to twist your ankle and limp on a little or is it over your head and you stand in darkness? No matter your pit, God can rescue you!
There is no such thing as "A perfect person." (Otherthan Christ Jesus, of course!) No one has it all together even if it seems to you they do. Everyone gets hurt sometimes. Everyone makes a mistake sometimes. Everyone looses their cool sometimes. Everyone responds in ways they wish they hadn't sometimes. Some times, we find ourselves in a pit. A pit of betrayal. A pit of anger. A pit of loss. A pit of addiction. A pit of loneliness. A pit of depression. A pit of lies. A pit of rejections. A pit of laziness. A pit of rebellion. A pit of debt. There are a lot of pits which anyone can fall into, sometimes.
I think we tend to look at other people and think they've got it easy or that they never fall. I believe this is a clever lie Satan plants in our hearts, not so much in way of comparison...but by exalting another person above us, we then lower our own adequacy and it heightens our awareness of our imperfections. We tell ourselves things like I am a failure...I can't win this battle...I'm not good enough...Things will never get better...Someone else can do it better...I'm a looser...I will never conquor this thing...It's no use...I am nothing. 
And if we have any sense of hope in our heart, we will turn towards God and then pitifully sit in shame, fear, lacking anything to present as "good" before our Gracious and Holy God. And yet, God is the Perfecter of our Faith, Strength in our weakness and a rescue in times of need. Just as He drew Peter up out of the pit of disbelief in the water, just as He brought Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego out of the pit of fire of injustice, just as God gave provision and protection to Daniel in the lion's den and Jonah from the pit of disobedience in the belly of the whale...God will rescue us too. God is a God who gathers together His people in His ark and delivers them from death. Over and over in the scriptures, we find God in the depths and dirt with us.
I am soooo thankful that God meets me where I am along my journey and even if I find myself stepping in a pit, He has "heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God." He is not a God who sits on the throne judging and shaking His head. He is compassionate and empowering, as He sent His Son to the dirt of the earth to place His feet on the road marked with suffering, in order that we can see Him, feel Him, touch Him, and by His infinite Grace and Mercy, be saved by Him from the pit of darkness. 
Lord, thank You for being a God and Savior that knows when I fall into a filthy pit and graciously draws me out of it. I know my tears are heard and seen. Help me Lord God to be a demonstrator of your Amazing Grace and Compassion as You "set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.." May others see You and fear You. May my life be a testimony to Your healing from less paths with pits to more paths of righteousness. May others trust You for their rescue as I testify how You alone rescued me!! Thank You for Your sweet, sweet Love, that can even be found amongst the dirt. 
PS. See the glass heart in the dirt? Love and Hugs right when you need one! We KNOW He loves us but there are times when you just need to know-know. Sweet Lord!!!

"And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen His glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John bore witness about him, and cried out, "This was he of whom I said, 'He who comes after me ranks before me, because he was before me.'") And from His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ." John 1:14-17

Salt in my Bible

Evidently I didn't clean off my table very good the night before! I know you are probably not surprised, no claim to fame over here as a Super Cleaner, lol! I noticed it the next morning when I picked up my Bible off the table to go my morning study, and there they were, salt granules stuck into the back of my leather Bible. Great, eventhough I wiped off all the salt, it left bunches of tiny markings all over the outer cover. Great, a holey, Holy Bible...kinda funny actually!
Who knew salt could leave marks...and then my spirit stirred, of course.....it should. God tells us in Matthew 5: "You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven." We should be concerned if our salt isn't leaving impressions on the "things" around us. God calls us to be the salt and light. He says, "You are the salt...Let your light shine...so they may see and give glory to God."  As a Believer in Christ Jesus, you have salt to make the world around you saltier. You will leave "holy" impressions. Just as iron sharpens iron, the more salt and light, the saltier and brighter our life becomes, thus more glory to God! 
Interestingly, my days got busy and I am just now returning back to this blog and had wanted to upload a picture of the back cover of my Bible. You know me, visual girl, but to my surprise, the hundreds of little pits were gone. Completely flushed out. The leather eased itself back to the way it was. So, no pictures, but I did get what was meant to be Part 2 of the lesson God was/is teaching me. Although we have been given salt and light, we can loose our salt and light. (Not salvation, but our impact.) And if we loose our saltiness, and if we loose our light, how will we make an impact on the world around us? How will God receive the glory if we aren't even reflecting Him? What impression are we leaving, if any?!
So, if we can get our minds and hearts around the fact that we already have been given salt and light within, (this can be a hard concept to accept for those who struggle with insecurity, low self-esteem, or those whos' faith and trust in God has not been deeply rooted), then how do we remain salty and bright?
I am thankful to be a part of a church that teaches you how to be "holey" as we give glory to a Holy God. God has blessed me personally with some seriously Salty Sisters. You know how when you go to the beach and the second you step out of your car, you can taste the salty air? That's the impression I have when I get close to these women! Plus, you almost have to put on the sunglasses when they speak and serve unto the Lord! Their saltiness, their light, makes holey, Holy impressions in my heart, mind and soul. They certainly season up my life!!!
So, how do we remain salty? Deuteronomy 10:12-14 gives us a list: "And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you, but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all His ways, to love Him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the commandments and statutes of the LORD, which I am commanding you today for your good? Behold, to the LORD your God belong heaven and the heaven of heavens, the earth with all that is in it." 2 Peter 1:5-8 also encourages us "For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ."
Increasing in saltiness means remaining steadfast in the Lord. His Word is life. Be faithful and consistent. While this is a personal thing that only you can do for yourself, you will also be salted when you are around salty people just like when you show up at the beach! Refresh yourself in the Light and Truth of God's Word, fearing, walking, loving, serving Him with all your heart and soul, making every effort to supplement your faith and walk close with others, growing and glowing!
Believer, do not let your light dull. Do not loose your saltiness. God, restore us, we want to glorify you through our lives. Help those of us who are weak in our faith, to draw strength once again in our hope that we truly are Your salt and light in this world. Forgive our laziness. Forgive our unbelief in You.. Help us to remember that Your Holy Spirit dwells within us and that we can be a useful instrument of Your love. Guard us in Your Light that we might be brighter to shine for You in this dark world. May our salt and our light lead the Way, leaving impressions that last. Help us to not become lazy or dull. Make Your Word alive once again to us. Help us to leave a holey Holy impression. Thank you for those you have placed in our lives to light up our paths, those that add lots of spice and flavor to our life and those who shine so bright for You! Replenish them and bless them Lord! Thank You Faithful Lord, amen.

My Mentored Heart

This week, I got to enjoy extra time with two of my AMAZING mentors/friends/accountability partners...my Sisters in Christ. I wonder if I could ever get them all together, not sure my heart could take that much JOY...or possible "loving correction!" (heehee) I am BLESSED to have mentors in my life such as these Godly, Beautiful Women. A mentor is different than a friend. Over the years, God has given me the gift of some very precious friends who's seasons and purposes have been all very different. A mentor however is one God places in your life with intention to "mentor." Webster's defines mentor : a trusted counselor, guide, tutor, coach. You can only imagine what a rare GIFT it is when a mentor is also a friend. That is the case with these women, they have mentored me for several years while also being dear Sisters in Christ. 

There was a time in my life that I didn't even have one and for no other reason than my own "fear" and "trust" issues. Betrayals, feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, fear of judgement, even hopelessness for something better, can keep someone isolated into their own safe, self-contained, lonely bubble. There was a time that was me. Very guarded, very anxious, very limited, very self-controlled, very afraid to be seen. Happy on the outside, scared on the inside. 
Thinking I had to represent Christ in my life by seeming "perfect", it only deepened my isolating self. I hid the real me behind a mask of perfection. It was exhausting but knowing how imperfect I was, I felt I had no other choice than to at least wear the mask! With God's peace, should I complain or worry or have trials, surely not. Otherwise, it says I am sinning against God for everything would be perfect in my life and self, right?! So who in their right mind would admit something was wrong?!?! And I knew I certainly was NOT perfect. I tried till it nearly broke me. Oh, how clever is Satan. He is a deceiver and a liar. 

When the huge 2008 crisis hit, thankfully God had already placed in my life a few Godly women who I could literally fall on. It was up to me to trust them with what was shattered pieces of my heart, mind and spirit. I claimed desperately, Philippians 4:13, knowing I could do all things He asked of me. I chose to trust God with the provisions of help (aka: friendship, counsel and mentor) and I allowed myself to open a tiny space more to let Love come in, and really, it wasn't because I necessarily wanted them in my business, seeing all my imperfections, I knew I needed them in my business. 

What began as a slow trickle of love flowing in, now is an ocean's full!! God has been more than gracious and more merciful than I deserve. There came a place where I couldn't handle "life" on my own. Of course, I have a loving husband and loving family and a great church family had I chosen to let them in, but it was more than I could bear and for these that were close and involved, it was a crisis they too had to endure with me. They needed encouragement I couldn't give and I needed encouragement they couldn't give. We needed more. 

God made it clear that it was time for a new season. It was time for the old to go and the new to come!! I thought I was okay with my "old" until the "new" came. What a DELIGHT!!!! I realized alone I was weak, I was vulnerable. I prayed and asked for rescue and He sent me some! (I am sure I don't need to say it, but I will incase someone reading this doesn't know this: I am assuming we all understand that with God, we are never alone and He is our strength and yes, He is all we need; however, He calls us to live and love one another, confessing our sins to one another, trusting Him ultimately as our provision in which comes all other fleshly provisions....just wanted to make sure we all knew that!) 

Desiring a closer walk with Him, I have learned how to trust GOD fully and allow in what HE wants in. Walls had to come down and these women have had their faithful work gloves on for a few years now, not giving up on me! What a reflection of Christ's Love for us, taking us as we are and yet not leaving us as we are. He has brought these humble, God-fearing women into my life to encourage me, teach me, streeeetch my dorky, quirky, shy self, and boy have I been BLESSED!! Aside from enjoying the GIFTS they are to me, the eternal seeds invested in me have gone further than I could have imagined!! I know these seeds will impact generations, as they already have begun to! 

Today, I love the Lord more intimately, with an open heart, with more confidence and my life has most definitely changed. Who I am, how I approach life, my marriage, how I parent my 4 children, how I handle trials, guarding my relationship with the Lord, my prayer life, my choices, where I spend my energy and time are all direct reflections to the intentional mentoring I have received and from the faithfulness of sweet friends. (Just thinking it sure takes a lot of people to get me where I am today between loving family, church family, friends, mentors...it's okay, I will take all the help I can get!!!) I am no longer satisfied being left alone to work things out....I need the hands and feet of God to help me work things out. Thank God for the Holy Spirit and Proverbs 27:17 Holy Friends:)

While I don't wish for that season of "hell" to have come into my life, it was the price I had to pay for the relationship and life I now have in Christ. It was what broke me and built me new. I am not weak after all.... I am strong. Wouldn't trade it for anything. The freedom I have in Christ today is a direct result of choosing Life and Love in Christ Jesus. I will be the first to admit that I am NOT perfect. Truth is, it's okay, neither are you, or him, or her. I don't even try to appear perfect. My goal is to have such a deep love with God that He lights up my darkness and others can see the Light of Him through my life, mistakes and victories alike. His blood redeems and forgives. His blood covers my imperfections to highlight His perfections. His grace is enough. To hear Him, to see His Word come alive, how can you not smile and get the cheeks so sore from smiling so big?!? I am continually amazed at our Awe-some God. People comment often about my smiling, and that's exactly why I can smile even on the worst of days. My heart may grieve but my spirit rejoices knowing God is near and He sees me and still loves me so. 

My value and my hope for something better has been found in Christ alone! I once saw the world and "love" through the scope of a straw compared to today, as I view life through a panoramic widescreen lens!! I can walk through the valley and not fear, cuz I trust my Shepherd. I can share my heart with another without fear of judgement knowing it is Satan that is the one who should be fearing his judgement. God opened His heart to us and is asking that we open our heart to Him. 

We say trust Him, but at the same time, if you don't know about Him, how can you trust Him. The more you know about a person, God or friend, the more you see their heart and know they are trustworthy, with history proving their loyalty and faithfulness. is why I have come to crave The Word of God and living life alongside and loving others. There is nothing more satisfying than feasting on The Bread of Life and drinking the Living Water, especially with others who do too!!! Your heart opens wider the more you trust. How big is your heart?

"In the BEGINNING God created the heavens and the earth," He has a plan and while your world may seem like your own, really, you are part of a master plan! You were created for this time, for His glory. You must be in The Word to know of Him. You must walk with Him to know Him. He is not a distant God, He is with you and He will send you people: mentors, friends and even enemies to grow you closer to Him. You must choose to receive His enduring and faithful Love offering. Once you do, watch out!! (Romans 8:31-39) Be ready for abundant LOVE-JOY to fill your soul, of which you must also guard against the one who comes to seek and destroy it!! Steal a person's joy and you steal their heart. 

Do you feel alone? Do you feel like anyone has your back? Who is in your life you KNOW God has them there to push through some of your walls, but you don't trust them enough to let them in? TRUST GOD and if you don't truly trust Him, GET IN THE WORD!! Find someone immediately that does and get the accountability to find a mentor who knows The Word and has a heart that loves and fears God and start walking a life of love, hope and faith in Truth! Not in your ability but in the strength of Christ! His blood IS your VICTORY!!! What a sacrifice that saved my life, yes the Blood it is my victory!!!!!! If you say yes, it is yours too!!!

He will send you peace and strength through the hands and feet of others. We are all parts of one Body. Pray and ask God to affirm their place in your life, for whatever way and whatever season He has planned. Not everyone is meant to tear down your walls. Some help you see them. Others help you break them. Some keep you from rebuilding. Tis a season for everything under Heaven! Satan would like nothing more than for you to stay hidden, cut off from the Body. You're less likely to grow. Step forward in faith. Yes, you do take a chance of being hurt, but do you trust God that everything happens for a reason, He has your good in mind and that His grace and love for you is GREATER than any hurt you could ever feel?! Surround yourself by those who Love the Lord their God with ALL their heart, soul and might, who's desire to honor and please Him above all others! Theirs is a heart you can trust with yours!! 

Reflection: How much do you trust God? How well do you know of Him? Do you know Him personally that you can feel His presence near? Do you need to open up the floodgates for your heart to be filled? Are you walking in victory or defeat? Are you being real/honest with yourself? Are you trying to be something other than you? Who in your life would God be calling YOU to mentor, guide, coach or simply be a friend who walks life's paths with? 

This blog entry is long enough, and I could go on so much further and deeper and wider, but I must wrap this up! This began as a Facebook post of thankfulness for extra time spent with precious women this week and I figured once I got to 3 paragraphs, I had gone past my Facebook code of conduct and shifted over to the blog where I have freedom to write as much as my heart spills out! Hope you have been encouraged in some way and gotten to know me a little better in the process!!! HUGS and LOVE!!!