Things to Dump in the name of Love

The month of Love. For some, it's a blissful month of chocolates, cuddles, oodling, dating, intimate moments, extravagance and flowers while others feel heartache, loss, jealousy and loneliness. 

We were created with a need for True Love. We spend our days searching to fill that space, trying so many different things, and will until you find Love Who Fills.

The media is so good at showing us ways to fill this need. Eventhough Love Himself fills and holds my whole heart, and blessed me with a Man to share life and love with for over 30 Valentines, I catch myself oodling at the beautiful diamonds and romantic getaways on all the commercials because in my every day life, I am simple. I enjoy a coffee on the couch in pjs, I enjoy a simple gift, simple meal, simple outing, simple way of life. I am not a glam girl. Do I love pretty things? Beautiful clothes? Nails and hair done? Nice food out? Luxurious spas? Sure! But I don't need them or chase them.  

A few years ago, I decided to start hosting a Sweet Love night at my home. I was so nervous because I hadn't ever hosted a party for friends before...fear of rejection. There it is. What if no one came? What if I was boring? What if they thought it was stupid?

But God! I dumped the lies and pursued True Love and did it anyway. I invited a group of women from my church over, in the Name of Love. Valentines is sweet, yet bittersweet. In the room were woman who had recently lost their spouses, who were struggling to feel loved in their marriages, some who were too exhausted to feel loved Sisterly or Intimately.

These were wonderfully satisfying nights of introducing these Sisters in Christ to each other, sharing stories of hope and love, and for those who don't know me yet...yes, we enjoyed some serious coffee & chocolates!

As much as we need to embrace Love, some of us need to break up with false idols who keep us from receiving and giving love.

Today, what do you need to dump in order to have True Love?

Insecurity?

Fear?

Anxiety?

Control?

Addiction?

Perfectionism?

Feelings of lack, envy, hate, jealousy, greed, addictions, pride, immorality?

Lust?

Now that you have broken up, let's pray for Love's return and filling. Let's ask for blessings of Grace and deep soul satisfying wholeness to fill us. Let's open our hearts to receive again. Whatever barriers have been placed around your heart, will you allow Jesus to be the new Gate Keeper? Will you trust, let go of control and surrender to Love?

May it be so.

I pray this month brings you such deep joy as you remember the Love The Creator, Your Father, the Great I Am has for you. His Love is unconditional and of the purest kind that no human on this earth, no matter how wonderful they are, can match. He is the Ultimate Lover of Your Soul. You can trust Him. He's got you in His heart. Will you allow Him in yours?

"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 

bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 

And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. 

And be thankful."

Colossians 3:12-15 ESV

Stop Living Numb : Tips for Overcoming Overwhelm as a Christian

Life can feel hard! Yesterday was hard...today will be hard, and most likely so will many tomorrows. To be fair, God did tell us it would be. Isn't it good to know we have hope for a greater tomorrow and a peace that can be ours today? 

Ever feel like a mere robot? As if you are functioning through your days on a program?

I have.

Day by day doing just enough to get by, following the unspoken rules, trying to meet other's expectations, getting done what must, skipping meals (or eating all the cookies) then do it all again day after day. 

No real passion, no hope for change, no real connection. 

My soul was numb for years.

Did it mean I had lost love for my God, others, coffee or chocolate? No. I just felt numb, and sometimes, invisible.

Am I the only one? You neither love your life or hate it, you neither feel loved or loving. You are pretty sure you were meant for something more, but what? How can you keep it all together even though everything is falling apart inside you?! 

Who grows up as a little girl thinking one day I hope my life feels monotonous, robotic and numb?! I missed a mind that dreamed, innocent, trusting faith when steps were quicker, paths straighter, clinched jaws and fists relaxed, betrayal was quickly forgiven, the anxious mind was calmed, a place where all anticipation conquered all exhaustion. 

Where was my hope? Where was my anticipation for glory...

It's amazing how numb we become when we don't feel valued or seen. I believe God created us to live a life of Anticipating Love. 

When our heart becomes numb, we cannot rejoice, for we have no hope for healing or restoration. How do we start to feel again? 

If you find yourself feeling numb, here are some ideas to help you ignite your heart again and live in a space of grace…

• Take a break every day to do something for you. You spend all day serving others, don't forget to serve YOU! It can be as simple as going for a walk.
• Bless someone without it being part of your ministry/responsibility. 
• Read The Word daily with anticipation to fall in love with Him deeper. 
• Worship, with trust and surrender, listening and receiving.
• Speak against the lies of the enemy by speaking truth.
• Get back in touch with your hobbies and interests. You may not be able to actually reengage with it because of life, but find ways you can escape to it to some degree.
• Focus on body-mind-spirit. Strengthen your weaknesses in these areas. He is showing you these numb places so He can breathe life back into them. 
• Get accountability and practice receiving again.

Friend, It's time to ANTICIPATE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. 

Understand better Who's you are. Live in gratitude. Worship. When you realize how loved you truly are, how seen and heard you are, how cherished and purposed you are...His breath will become yours and you will no longer feel numb. It won’t be overnight but it starts today if you choose it.

Grab a trusted Sister Friend and start today moving fresh anticipation into your heart! 

"And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

 

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

Colossians 3:14-17

Accountability takes guts!!! Do you have it?!?

Accountability takes guts! When someone humbles themselves enough to say, "I can't do this on my own, I need help," that takes guts! What a great ministry to share with someone. It is both a great honor and responsibility we then have to hold them accountable to whatever it is they are asking. It should not be a quick decision on our part to say, "Sure I will be your accountability partner." We must first pray and ask God if it is His plan for you to be the one to hold the accountability with them, just as in every ministry commitment we are presented. If God is not in it, it won't be fruitful and if God is leading them to this place, He has already equipped someone to come alongside them and it may not be you. 
If God confirms His Yes for the new partnership, then sit down together and be open and honest about expectations and boundaries. What is the specific need? How often do they feel they should check in with you or do they expect/hope you will check in on them? What is the time frame which ya'll will commit to in the beginning? What if they have not met the current expectation, do they want a little nudge of encouragement or a big kick-in-the-backside kind of push? Everyone's personalities are different, what works for us doesn't necessarily work for the other person. It's important to have these conversations to thwart any misunderstandings, unmet expectations and to have the greatest benefit in achieving the end result. 
I am soooo thankful for the people God has placed in my life over the years to hold me accountable. God is so good to give us what we need. Several years ago I found myself taking a sort of inventory of my life- where did I spend most of my time, what did I do with my time, who were my friends, who did I trust in my inner circle of friends, what were my goals, what needed to change, where was I headed physically emotionally and spiritually, etc. As I looked at the women God had (and continues to place in my life,) I realized they were all very confident and courageous women, in themselves and in God. It was what they all had in common. They loved God fiercely and without shame, and they were confident and bold women of faith. 
I always had wanted to be more like that but continually found myself hiding behind women like them. But God...He knew my heart's desires and "coincidently" established deep and wonderful friendships with these amazing women of all ages. Oh how I wished I could be more like them even to this day. They say what they mean. They face opposition and temptation with confidence that God is greater than anything they face. Scriptures flows through their innermost being-heart, mind and soul. They pray with diligence and anticipation. These women didn't hide behind anything. It was me who hid behind them! 
Fear of their judgement or potential disappointment kept me from asking for guidance and help. But there came a point in different areas in my life where I had had enough. Enough trying to do "it" on my own. I was sick of failing. It wasn't easy. Humbling yourself also means vulnerability. 
A perfectionist, a shy person, an insecure person, a person who struggles with anxiety/fear, a prideful person, someone who has trust issues because of past betrayals...it takes a lot for them to ask for help because it means they must first break down serious walls to let you in. That was me...all of those at one time in my life, for a greater part of my life actually. I know, many of you who know me today, or who have only known me for the past few years, cannot imagine me being so shy or anxious inside but to God be all the glory! I pray this testimony highlights His grace, redemption and healing. God has worked in my life in my time alone with Him and through the accountability and prayers of others. I trusted God had crossed our paths for such a time as this, and I needed to trust Him with the relationships and process.
That is why it is hugely important to pray about who you ask to hold you accountable because you are giving over to them something that is obviously important to you and you want this to be handled with Christ's care. And if you are the accountability partner, you must bathe them with prayer and interceded on their behalf so Satan doesn't get a foothold during this tender growing and pruning time in their life. 
There is something so precious when God blesses you with friends who share a like-mindedness of faith, beliefs, goals, desires, dreams. You find they are stronger in areas you are weaker and visa versa and you are a source of great encouragement and strength together. "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him--a threefold cord is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:9-12a. And "as iron sharpens iron" Proverbs 27:17, so we do!  
Different friends bring different gifts and blessings into your life. Having friends are important, so is having more than one. I don't think we need an army of them either but we do need a few close to the heart ones. If it is a healthy, God-centered relationship, there is a trust connection that only God can affirm and knit together a natural vulnerability to be who you are, where you are in your life and in that, a natural sense of accountability is understood and welcomed. You don't always have to formally ask. Just in sharing life together, you "encourage and stir one another up" (1 Thess 5:11) knowing where they need encouragement and how to motivate them towards holiness as they also do for you. We remind them about grace as we give them grace. We remind them and teach them how to stay strong as we stand in the trenches with them. We share in their joys and in their sorrows as life happens. Our friendships can be Lighthouses to each other and to a watching world who wonder "how can they be friends?" "how can they be so honest and happy?" "how can they be so trusting or loving or forgiving?" "where did they get their courage?" 

This New Years our family participated in our first 5K Walk, Run, Crawl together. It was a toss up of sleeping in or the race, but that was the very reason we needed to do this...to change things up and start something new. Well, my walking buddy girlfriend had also signed up and we decided in the least, we could manage to crawl it together since our kids would most likely beat us to the finish line by a landslide. Crawling was obviously allowed since it was part of the name! Neither of us had even walked that distance before so it turned into an encouragement-accounatability thing. She joked about finishing a lap and we could veer off course to the nearby beach, or walk home and have a cup of coffee together...tempting for sure, but there was that little thing called accountability that God had woven between us and we would walk it or crawl it to the end! I joked back that I would bring my tether rope and strap us together so if she or I tried to veer off course or slow down the other would be the pull that keeps us moving together on pace. And it was a great visual of walking together in Christ and the accountability we have within The Body. When one is weak, the other can be strong, " For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!" Between us, we will finish "the race." 
I can testify, life isn't always easy but it is true when others notice my "happy", I am happier now in my life than I have ever been before. Not just because I've had great accountability breakthroughs or the fact God has blessed me beyond what I deserve in the Sisterhood department, or that I am living in paradise, or that I am healthy, or that I have a husband and family who love me greatly, believe me, I count my blessings amongst all the trials and bad days...but I am happy and joy-filled because I realize (and am learning to embrace it more confidently) how much I am valued and loved, as John 3:16 says...enough to die for. I believe Jeremiah 29:11 is true for me just like it is true for everybody else. He has a plan, and it is good! I have grown in my faith, trusting God more than I trust myself. When I am weak, the grace of God gives me strength and if I need a little poke or a push, He is faithful to make sure I get it whether I think I need it or not! 
I owe a heartfelt THANK YOU to my Sisters in Christ who share their hearts with me, offering not only sharpening of spirits but also equal vulnerability and trustworthiness. Over the years, some of you have been in the deeper trenches with me and stuck with me till I got through the other side. Others have blessed me with opportunity to simply learn to be a real-goes both ways-friend, living honestly before you, admitting mistakes and weaknesses and receiving grace and sometimes a little push or poke, and yes, even a kick in my backside a few times. I can share struggles as easily as I share my victories without fear of judgement. My life is sweeter because of your love and accountability poured out in my life. Thank you from my heart!!!! ( I would love to scroll through and post some pictures right now and brag on you, but I will let God bless you in a special way!)
I don't know what it is that you are wishing for or possibly needing a breakthrough in your own life but through prayer, seeking God with all your heart, receiving His love for you, and embracing the people God places in your life to help you, you will overcome! There is strength in numbers!! Prepare yourself to do your part and pray for God to do the rest, trusting Him more than you trust yourself.   
"Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. " Romans 12:9-16


(For those wondering...yes, we did finish our first 5k and it was a blast! Walking (life) with a buddy makes it more fun and somehow times goes so much quicker. I find this to be true in most areas of life.)

And to my husband who has put up with me going on 22 years of marriage, thank you and I love you for putting up with all my quirks!! Thank you for encouraging my time spent in my relationships with so many amazing women and women's ministry events over the years. I am definitely a better wife to you because of their wisdom and examples shared and prayers lifted on my/our behalf!