Comparison That Strengthens

👉🏻Comparison that leads to condemnation is unhealthy.
👉🏻Comparison that leads to alignment is healthy.

As I walk this path into a new place, I find myself comparing this to that, me to them. I felt spotlighted in certain thoughts and behaviors. This spotlight made me see my dullness, wishing I had what they had. It’s been a real struggle between flesh and spirit. Feeling the spotlight can either be the act of the Holy Spirit or the act of evil. For one will uplift and the other will tear down.
For me this comparison hasn’t been in a physical sense, but mental and spiritual.
Do you ever catch yourself saying, “I used to be like that...I used to see like that...I used to have that (blank) in my soul...”
I’d like to think comparison in this sense is a sharpening, an alignment of where we want to or need to be. It is the salt of the earth… It is the city on a hill shining in… It is the spark of a consuming fire… It is the iron sharpening iron chisel.

👉🏻I see her strength, I want that again.
👉🏻I see her changed health, I want that again.
👉🏻I see her acting in blind faith, I want to believe deep again.
👉🏻Her fire ignites others to fire, I remember being consumed.
👉🏻She believes in her value, I want to feel my value.
👉🏻She believes in the ability of God to use her to change peoples lives, I want that belief back for me.

In opposition to truth, the the enemy taunts us in comparison, You aren't, You can't, You shouldn't.

God does not create us to be lukewarm, dull, anxious, insecure, weak. He calls us to be more than conquerors in Christ Jesus. He created us to encourage and be encouraged. As iron sharpens iron, we do that in each other’s lives if we will allow ourselves to be His vessels in not only other's lives, but within our own.

We fall into 3 camps I think: We are too sharp for that, we are too full for that or I’m not sure so I won’t be involved.
You can run from yourself but you cannot run from God!

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.”

‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11, 13‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Lord Jesus, You did not pour out Your precious blood over us for show. It is to be life for us in every way. Your death is our life. Your last breath is the beginning of ours.
Forgive us when we doubt You and Your ability to use us. Forgive us when we wander in avoidance. Revive us. Renew our minds in You and cast off all that hinders. By the Name of Zjesus our Savior, Healer, Father and King, I say amen.🙌🏻

Today, I am grateful and thankful for my Refreshing, Refining and Redeeming Savior! Today, I chose to Believe He has great plans for me and He has placed AMAZING people in my little world to inspire, mentor and love me where I am. I am Blessed! 

I Just Assumed...not any more!

I met a new friend this past week and in our "get to know" moment as we shared our story, a sentence came out of my mouth I had never thought of before and certainly had never said. I can only assume it was a God moment. Sometimes my assumption are right. Sometimes they are wrong.
Being the new (guy) gal in the community, I have been asked close to hundred times now, "What's your story? Why are you here?" Each time I get to share, God reminds me of His plan and the perfection of His timing. Last week was really no different...same testimony, different new friend. After sharing the summary of details and God's divine leading us in our move to Florida, I said these "crazy" words as a summery point of how God has been working on me over the past several years. This phrase came out my mouth for the first time... Assumptive Living. Assumptive Living. I said, "God has taken me from living a life of assumptive living to intentional living." I sat kinda of dumb founded for a minute trying to process why in the world did I just say that. 
Over the past several years, God has been walking me though Intentional Living. So much so, he even brought a dear Mentor and Friend into my life who actually used those words every time she talked. God could not have been obvious. She was a huge part of the refining process my heart and mind needed to endure and be shaped by. Knowing why I do what I do. Choosing to own my actions and not play the blame game in life. Stepping out in courage after the things God calls me to. Being intentional about growing in my knowledge and deepening my love with my Savior and Abba Father. But the years before this....not so much. I intentionally...assumed.
I have always described my personality issues as anxious and shy. One who fears the unknown, a follower not a leader. But then there were these words...Assumptive Living...wow. It was true. I had never thought about that before. For most of my life, I have been fearful and anxious. I feel it inside me, raised blood pressure and heart racing, feeling as if I couldn't breath. Double checking everything I do in fear of judgement, which would lead to fear of rejection. Ever watchful of my surrounding, fearful of personal harm to me or my kids. Choosing to always follow to avoid failing. Avoiding others or opportunities felt safer to me than putting myself out there. I assumed the worst. I assumed. There it was. Assumptive Living.
If we go through life assuming we will fail, we will never try. We will never accomplish what we have been called to do. If we assume rejection, we will never have victory or courage to embrace and enjoy meaning relationships and friendships or partnerships in the work place. If we assume someone is always looking to harm us or one of our loved ones, we will never fully appreciate the beauty of God's creation. We will see so narrowly, that we miss the big picture. What kind of life is Assumptive Living? I will tell you. 
It's one thing to assume the worst and plan for the worst verses planning for the worst and hoping for the best. I realize now in hindsight how much anxiety and fear I self-created simply by assuming. How I must have grieved the heart of God with how I lived so wrongly fearful and anxious...never resting in His arms or grasping my identity in His Name. Oh the power I didn't claim, the grace I rejected, the blessings I missed. Something no one else knew, and I didn't even recognize myself back then. Thank God, His mercies are new every morning! Lamentation 3!! Looking back, my identity was not His...
I assumed I wouldn't be successful. Inadequate
I assumed I was making wrong choices. Doubting
I assumed my friend would not like me once they got to know me. Insecure
I assumed everyone else must be right, assuming they must be more intelligent or talented than I. Minimal 
I assumed I was the "lesser than" of the group. Pitiful
I assumed others could do it better, whatever "it" was at the time. Dumb
I assumed my husband would find other women sexier than me. Ugly
I assumed other parents has mastered this thing called parenting. Judgement
I assumed all the other Stay At Home Moms had perfectly cleaned house and dinner prepped for week on Sunday and all their clothes were in their rightful place. Comparison
I just assumed everything, even spiritually....
I assumed God loved me because that is what I had been taught in every church, in every Bible study, at every conference. 
I assumed and hoped He would always be with me. 
I assumed and hoped He would give me Peace when I needed it. 
I assumed and hoped He would be my Rock, my Comfort, my Healer.
Seriously, what a horrible way to live! Assuming everything...not knowing anything except doubt and fear, always hoping for being right. With a smile always on my face, no one could have known, and even today, people don't see the splinters, scars and thorns. Grace, Grace, Amazing Grace!!!! I have learned to receive Grace. I have learned not only Who God is personally, but who that makes me as His child. What an amazing feeling inside your soul when you know that you know. When someone asks you why, and you can confidently give an answer to the hope and the reason of your life.
God, gracious and gentle, looooong suffering over me, for sure, gave me the opportunity to get over living life assumptively. Through a season of panic attacks and anxiety attacks, I had to do some deep heart, soul, mind and spirit searching! 
I assumed I could handle life controlling myself, my circumstances and others. Here is where I learned my assumptions were all wrong. 
I assumed the life I was trying so hard to be perfect at would be the best life. Wrong! My best life has been lived ever since. The best life is living an intentional life!
How great to walk through a day nervous, sure. Feeling a little insecure, sure....yet doing life anyway! I certainly haven't arrived, and I still find thorns to pull out of my flesh at times, but how grateful I am to get the chance to have a do-over in this life! Every day I get to be more intentional! Thank You Lord for being steadfastly intentional for me!!
I know that I know God has a plan to prosper me and not harm me. Jeremiah 29
I know that I know He will never leave me. Deuteronomy 31
I know that I know He forgives me, loves me and hears me. John 3
I know that I know He is the Orchestrator of my life, leading me in my endeavors, my relationships, in my parenting, friendships, service, ministry, etc. Isaiah 40
I know that I know nothing escapes His care or His provision. 
Yes, bad things will still happen this side of eternity, but I know that I know I am Redeemed by the Great I Am. I am protected by The King of Kings. I am not a loss cause. I am not alone. I know that I know He hears my cries and my prayers and rejoices in my accomplishments even if I have failed the 10 times before. 
I know that I know God loves every single one of us and has a divinely great plan for a beautiful life, free of....assumptions!
If this is you too, (I am assuming I am not the only one who has been here), don't assume another day. Live fully, embracing each day's plan and grace for every moment. Be intentional in knowing what it is you need to get your head and heart wrapped around, to bring glory to the One Intentional God. How? Let go of being in control and Trust The Only Faithful and Steadfast One. Surrender your fears and assumptions into Hope Himself. You must be in His Word. You must pray and talk to Him, learning to listen for His voice. How else will you know Him? It was through digging into His Word searching for Him, worshiping Him in truth, not feeling. Praying in petition and in waiting for His response. It was remembering Who was in charge of my life, the comings and goings, the direction and the provision of every day. Calling out to The One I knew heard me, saw me and held me. Knowing in my head the Truth while embracing the Heart of The One who held mine together. It was remembering that God was ultimately in control and I needed to trust Him, loving Him above all else, with all my heart and might.
Life is best lived, intentionally living and loving, giving life and blessings, while receiving life and blessings!! Life is good because God is good! Hallelujah!!!!!
Thank You Lord for intentionally creating the world, and all that is within it, seen and unseen. Thank You for the grace You alone cover us with so that we can work out our insecurities, inadequacies, our callings for Your glory this side of Heaven. May we never assume Your love, mercy, forgiveness, peace, comfort. May we never assume Your grace will run out. Help us in our minds to embrace the knowledge of who You are and help our hearts to grasp how deep and wide Your love for us is. God, we are so sorry for taking the weight of burdens in this life upon our own shoulders. May we call to mind Your love and friendship that are never ceasing. Thank You for Your Word to teach us what we need to know. Thank You for your friendship and Fatherhood that proves it. Thank You Holy Spirit for leading us, encouraging us, prompting us to remember and to worship in truth! You are a great, great God...I know that I know this is true!! Bless Your Holy Name, amen.

Psalm 57, "Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by.  

I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me. He will send from heaven and save me; he will put to shame him who tramples on me.
God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness! My soul is in the midst of lions; I lie down amid fiery beasts-- the children of man, whose teeth are spears and arrows, whose tongues are sharp swords. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens!

Let your glory be over all the earth! They set a net for my steps; my soul was bowed down. They dug a pit in my way, but they have fallen into it themselves.
My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast! I will sing and make melody! Awake, my glory! Awake, O harp and lyre! I will awake the dawn! I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples; I will sing praises to you among the nations. For your steadfast love is great to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens! Let your glory be over all the earth!"

Do you "get it?!" I sooooo want you to!!

"Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, 7 rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving. 8 See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. 9 For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, 10 and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority. 11 In him also you were circumcised with a circumcision made without hands, by putting off the body of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ, 12 having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through faith in the powerful working of God, who raised him from the dead. 13And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, 14 by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. 15 He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him." 

Colossians 2: 6-15

This morning, I grabbed my camera as I headed out the door to take the kids to school thinking I might stop by a nearby beach and "play" with my camera. What a beautiful place to play!! How can I share with you the beauty of that moment? I was intentional with my angle's trying to get the best shot, showing the most of the scenery, the everchanging view of the skies. A storm seemed to be brewing in the short amount of time I was out there on the pier. Within 15 minutes a double arc rainbow appeared, a cool breeze began to blow, and the textures and colors shifted intensely around me, in every direction, enhancing the gorgeousness of the moment. It was breathtaking and awes-inspiring.

My sweet friend called me when I was in the middle of taking in these moments and though I described all the colors, sounds and movement of the world around me...in that moment I have no doubt she could not have understood exactly what I was experiencing. It wasn't real for her. If she had "gotten it", she would have been jaw-dropping-speechless on the other end of the line. I couldn't do it justice and I soooo wanted her to "see" this. I wanted it to be real for her too.

As I posted these pics for family and friends to "get it", these 2D imagines, even  with my descriptive words, could not come close to the real life experience, personally experiencing it for themselves. I did all I could to share it, but until they come for a visit and stand in the sands with me, they won't be able to fully experience it...personally. It has to be their personal experience to be real for them.

This is true in our relationship with God too. We cannot simply read about Him, hear other's descriptions of Him and fully "get it." We cannot experience God through others but we can imagine God because of others. 

We can imagine in our head what peace must feel like in the midst of chaos, what unconditional love must be like despite the world's conditions, what unspeakable joy must feel like in the midst of despair and heartache. You must experience God Himself, for yourself to know Him and "get it." Get it? 

May you, too, personally experience the amazing Creator of all Creation! He is glorious and the joy of my soul. He is the peace in my storms and the strength in my weakness. He is my Rescue and Redeemer. He is my greatest Love!!!! I pray that through my personal testimony and sharing of Who He is to me, that you too, will come to fully know and experience Him for yourself and "get it"! 

Our God is an awesome God!!!