Encouragement When You Feel Depressed and Alone : Let's Pray

"When I said, "My foot is slipping," Your love, O LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul." Psalm 94:18-19 

Not every day can be a great day. Over the years I have learned to be more truthful with my feelings and stop hiding behind the "I'm fine" response which most often translates I am not okay. Saying I wasn't okay seemed to admit defeat or reveal a lack of faith. I convinced myself somewhere along the path of perceived togetherness, it wasn't okay to not be okay. 

My mind would say if I prayed harder, there'd be more Happy. If I listened to worship music and read my Bible a little longer, my circumstances might change which would surely change my heart and mind too. I would never had admitted a bad day for fear of being judged that I was a hypocrite or a weak Christian. How sneaky and manipulative is our enemy.

It took getting stuck in lots of pits and circling the same walls over and over to finally get through them. I've learned to honestly answer, "Not every day can be a great day, and I am not okay, but God is faithful." It is bearing false witness if you say everything's great when it's not. The false joy and perceived peace are not healing hopes. They are deceiving masks. 

The Lord tells us in His Word there will be trials and storms. What a prideful thing to equate ourself to God in thinking we can control things. You and I may be able to fake out some people, but we cannot fake out God or those closest to us who can immediately see the shattered twinkle in our eye. I think the Lord gives our close companions a special kind of discernment to know when we are not okay and call our bluff. Those are special kinds of Sisters.

Of course there is the opposite of me out there when someone is a Pity Party for One and all are invited in. They can't fathom anything good cuz the world is evil and there's no good left in anything or anyone. How exhausting it must be to live like that. 

People with drama drain me. I will certainly pray for them, but I am not going to enable them and I don't have to spend more than a minute with them either. Hello Healthy Boundaries. 

Life is just too short to waste time complaining, contemplating and gossiping. My Mom has always said I wear Rose-Colored glasses but I come by it honestly. I know the Lord gifted Hospitality, Encouragement, Empathy and Compassion into my heart but my Grandma used to always tell me, "Always find something kind to say to every person you encounter." So, here I am born with a glasses of Hope and yet, I still struggled with insecurity and anxiety.

Life isn't going to always be great no matter how we try to create a perfect place. There are seasons our sorrow will outweigh our happy. And God didn't promise us happy. He promised us a Helper. Life gets really hard and sometimes our prayers feel they fall onto deaf ears. We gasp for a breath under the weight of expectations, hopes and dreams that only seem to fade. 

So many friends are dealing with huge issues and it's hard even when it's not you. I read comments in social media groups that break my heart and drive me to want to be a louder, bolder Encourager and Light for the Lord, to reach those in dark places at the edge of depletion. I have been on that edge and praise God, 

He sent His Helper and His hugs through amazing, honest, warrior woman who knew how to Hug my heart through prayer and accountability. Scripture says together we are a City on a Hill if we all chose to Shine which means, no masks. Does that mean we tell everyone everything? Do we post on social media all our failures, problems, conflicts, insecurities? No. We are wise to pray before we post and ask, seek, knock where our help will come from. 

Our God....He is a Mighty Force, Ruler over all Authorities and principalities. Our Lord is a greater force than our finite minds can imagine. He is a real God, a loving Father, Great Counselor and Friend. He is our Rock and Refuge. He is our Anchor Who holds us in place when we find ourselves being tossed to and fro. When the seas roar, He has the power to calm them. (It's the only time you should stay close to a power source in a storm!! heehee!!!) 

When we know Who God is, there we find our Hope. Hope strengthens our faith and faith drives our perseverance, which strengthens our joy. No one can do what He can do but He can use us as His hands and feet here on this side of Heaven to bring that Hope Reminder to others. To remind the broken hearted He is near and He knows where we are. 

And the most important fact I learned: He is trustworthy and faithful. His love is unconditional and He loves me right where I am, in my insecurity, my anger, my fear, my hurt, my unknowns...He loves me here. Are we willing to surrender ourselves to Him? Do you trust Him to be a Promise Keeper? Do you believe He is Who He says He is?

One day, crashing waves will find their calm and joy will conquer painful sorrow as all the tears are absorbed into The Master's sackcloth. There is a time for everything as Ecclesiastes 3 explains. We will dance but we will also mourn. All in His time.

I challenge you to do more than simply give an Honest Answer. Surrender and Trust Him. Depend on Him. When you trust Him, you will be honest with Him so you can then be honest with yourself, and others because you trust Him more than you trust yourself. We can find comfort knowing God is Who He says He is and gives us exactly what we need as we need it. You cannot borrow joy, or grace. You cannot create peace. You cannot move mountains, divide oceans, calm storms, or create life from ashes. But God is more than able to do exceedingly more than we can ever imagine. 

Do you trust Him as YOUR Honest Answer?! 

Lord, as we cry our salty tears, replenish us with Your Living Waters. Give us the peace only You can. Heal our hurts. Forgive our unbelief. Forgive our forgetfulness of who You are. Forgive us for minimizing Your power of provision and grace in our lives. You are more than we can imagine and Your love immeasurable. Give us favor in the mustard seed of our faith to walk trusting You. Transform our insecurities with Your insight.

We believe at the command of Your voice, healing can come and hearts restored. Lord, heal our broken bodies. Renew our minds and set them on You again. Help our broken hearts beat in the rhythm of Your grace. 

God,  I pray for those in the middle of a storm, remind them of the Strength of Your Anchor! Send hugs and Help to them and lift them up. Call out to the winds and calm them that You may be seen walking on the horizon. Break their chains and renew their hope in Jesus Name. Grant them peace, revive their strength. Relieve the weight of their sorrows and replace it with Your mercy, new every morning! 

We acknowledge You are faithful, steadfast and Honest. Father, we worship You and bow before You asking for revelation of Your Power. Use us and gather us as a City on The Hill. Open our eyes to see what You see and clear our minds to hear wisdom. Give us courage to take off our masks and be a Light for You. Take our flesh and cleanse us. You are so patient and worthy. We praise Your Holy Amazing Name! You are everything to us. Amen!!

"You turned my wailing into dancing; You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to You and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give You thanks forever." 

Psalm 30:11-12

Overcoming The Blahs with Blessings

You just can't seem to shake it. That feeling of defeat. The weight in your body pulling you downward. Your legs and arms droop. You have the energy of a sloth. The sun seems too bright for your eyes, your heart feels deflated and your mindfulness escapes you. Blah. That's how you'd respond if someone asked you how you were feeling. I've heard it called Spring Fever, Depression, being in a Slump, having the Blues, etc and the degrees of it range the arc of a rainbow.

There's many factors that contribute to the "blahs" from hormones to life circumstances, immediate or on going. While I think there are obvious times of the year such as holidays and after New Year's we are most susceptible to feeling depressive, it can be a seasonal and random thing for any one of us. 

I am brought to prayer and writing today after seeing a few friends sharing their recent blues. The old saying "Takes one to know one" comes to mind as my heart skips a beat in shared sorrow but also in the desire to encourage. I have been here and have a tendency to be 'blah' too, so how do we break out of the blahs?!

It goes without saying but I will say it in case someone needs it to be said, if you have feelings of great despair, deplete and feel as if you have gotten to the place where death seems like your best option, you must, you must, you must reach out to your Pastor or other clergy in your church, or seek a professional counseling center in your area. This is a pit you will not navigate out alone, and you shouldn't have to. 

You are loved and there are people God has placed in your location and life, for such a time as this, to touch your heart and soul for Him and you are not alone. Reach out and reach up for that Hand. Do not waste another moment, go.

For those days and seasons we walk through the uncalendared season of Blah, what can we do to shake off the blah? Bottom line for me is Worship. Worship wipes out worry and ushers in joy. Worship is the vitamin our heart needs to be healthy. The enemy cannot steal the joy, peace or focus of a woman in deep worship.

What then is worship? According to Webster's Dictionary, worship means,
: to honor or reverence as a divine being or supernatural power 
: to regard with great or extravagant respect, honor, or devotion a celebrity worshipped by her fans
: to perform or take part in worship or an act of worship

Notice it doesn't say worship is something you do for 30 minutes each week at a local church. Worship is not the singing portion of a church service. Yes, we worship the Lord through song and prayer during a corporate gathering, but the act of worship is a lifestyle, a way of thinking and living. It's the intention of the moment or activity. To honor the Lord, to put in action that which is our heart's belief of adoration.

  "And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:17

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe,  for our God is a consuming fire." Hebrews 12:1-2, 28-29 ESV

Each time we choose to worship over our worry of woes, our spirit refreshes and stirs the embers of Light in your soul. Worry and defeating thoughts pour water on our embers. Depending on how much you are watering your fire, depends on how quickly your Light will burn out. Even a steady drip of water can sizzle out a fire, one drop at a time if nothing else fans that flame. And when that gush pours over you due to a life crisis, how much more you can withstand if your fire was beyond the borders of it's reach. One drop of water can't put out the flares of the sun or diffuse a volcano, but it will put out the flame of a candle.

Now how? How do we worship when we feel blah? In every way: body mind, soul and spirit. 

Spiritually, first and foremost, you must be in The Word of God and not just self-help or fantasy books or blogs. It's easier to read a quick "feel good" about positive thinking but The Word of God is alive and active, diving truth (Hebrews 4:12) which is crucial to your identity, purpose and practicalness. You have an enemy who fears you staying fixed on Jesus and falling deeper in love with Him. 

The enemy seeks to destroy and divide in many ways and defeating thoughts and depression are a few of them. Let God tell you who He is, who you are in Him, the purpose He has for you and how together with Him you will accomplish these things. The spirit intercedes on our behalf when our groans are too great and words escape us. If all you can utter is one thing, say Jesus. There is incredible power in His name alone. Speak it out loud and remind the enemy Who you are seeking and worshiping. 

Emotionally and practically in your day, turn on Christian music whether it be your local radio or online station or Spotify app. During these days, you need the words to proclaim your heart and mind cannot pour out apart from the help of those God has gifted as song writers and worship leaders to draw your heart and mind into active worship through song. Words shape our prayers. 

Watch what you are putting into your body, like sugars, alcohol, drugs, unhealthy foods and energy drinks. I have to be mindful of my diet when I am blah. For a period of time, I had to cut all sugars and focused on cleaner eating and that's not easy when you have loss of appetite and want a warm chocolate chip cookie (or two) or a frozen ice cream as comfort food. Confession between us: I am a Dr Pepper or Southern Sweet Tea Girl paired with some salty hot fries when I need a little comfort food. I don't drink alcohol so these are my Go Tos.

Once you get past the first day or two, it gets easier I promise. Choose wisely and practically. Make some protein shakes that give you a meal's serving and great base for snacks and grab some good salad makings. Don't cheat yourself from good bacon and croutons! If we're gonna be good, let's make it a delicious good! Choose to worship with your bodily choices. Your body is a temple, keep it pure for His breath to fan the flames.

Exercise and/or activity are equally necessary. Believe me, the couch, my blankets and my puppy are the perfect cuddle for comfort. Slipping back under the covers for sleep while may be a temporary escape, and if you genuinely need a nap, take one, but do not sleep your days and nights away. You lose muscle tone and endorphins deplete. 

Whatever (healthy) hobby you enjoy, do it. Grab your paint brush, camera, pet, walking shoes, weights, make up, book, hammer, computer and muster up the energy to determine to "just do it." You will feel so much better, then your next outing ought to be with a friend. Go for a walk, meet for lunch, go sit at the shore. Definitely don't go to the bar or mall, where you can create more problems in your moment of deplete. 

Allow your mind to relax and your heart to receive. 

Laughter truly is contagious and healing. Be honest with your friend and be vulnerable. Share your blah with her and allow her to minister to you through prayer, help and hugs. Since moving to Florida, simply taking in a little salty air for a lunch break or a sunset bless my soul like nothing else these days. I am not a star-gazing girl, but the Lord has brought me outside at night over the past year to gaze at the stars he calls out every single night. It's an amazing thing to be reminded of His consistency. At the end of a tough day, I'll go stand in the middle of my yard and just look up. More than Twinkle Twinkle wishes, it's worshiping the Star Himself.

I cannot tell you how many times over the years pride shut me down but God....He is gracious and merciful to stir in a friend's heart to reach out. Knowing I should say Yes, I do and it is exactly the thing my soul needs. There's a few Sister Friends that just see right through me and know when I need a prayer or a laugh and boy can they bring it in Jesus name. Divine appointments are one God sends to us, for us to receive and return to Him His glory and love. They may be obvious, but maybe it's just a thing He does unseen. This is where faith is. This is where hope anchors us.

There comes a warning in here too, to make sure you don't become self-absorbed and settle into the attention that comes from pity parties. Turn your blah into someone elses blessing. How can you make someone else smile and feel loved today? Who can you serve in Jesus name?

David penned Psalms representing every feel there is known to man from fear to ferocious love. As you read The Word, be sure to include the reading of The Psalms and find passages that express how you feel and know you're not alone in them. But also find Psalms that express your praise and adoration, and hope. I love Psalm 18 and it's my go to (one day I will memorize it) for worshiping in Truth and promise. 

There's so many other things you can research online and find like journaling tips, breathing techniques, foods for boosting mindfulness, and you can do that but my heart encouragement for you is to simply Be still and seek the heart whisper of Jesus. Settle yourself enough to feel yourself inhale Grace. Exhale the blah. With each breath, worship and exhale the words out loud. In the fire, He is with you. In deep waters where your feet no longer reach, He lifts you. He is faithful and near, you can trust Him.

There is power in the beautiful name of Jesus. Exchange your blah for blessings abundant and watch your Light explode for our God is a consuming fire and darkness cannot drown it out! Oh Lord, we praise You Most High as conquerors in Your name. We believe nothing can separate us from Your amazing love as declared in Romans 8. 

Lift our eyes and strengthen our limbs to lean into your hold. Be our shield against the sinful thoughts of this broken world and release the chains that bind us and weight us down that we may be free to move where You lead us. Return to us the joy of our salvation and breath reviving breath back into the lungs of our souls. We are asking, seeking and trusting You, we worship You, Jesus. Praise Your name, in the Name of Jesus, amen and amen.

The Lord Is My Rock and My Fortress

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David, the servant of the Lord, who addressed the words of this song to the Lord on the day when the Lord rescued him from the hand of all his enemies, and from the hand of Saul. He said:

I love you, O LORD, my strength. 
The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.  I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies. 

 The cords of death encompassed me; the torrents of destruction assailed me; the cords of Sheol entangled me; the snares of death confronted me. 

In my distress I called upon the LORD; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears. 

Then the earth reeled and rocked; the foundations also of the mountains trembled and quaked, because he was angry. Smoke went up from his nostrils, and devouring fire from his mouth; glowing coals flamed forth from him. 

He bowed the heavens and came down; thick darkness was under his feet. He rode on a cherub and flew; he came swiftly on the wings of the wind. 

He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him, thick clouds dark with water. Out of the brightness before him hailstones and coals of fire broke through his clouds. 

The LORD also thundered in the heavens, and the Most High uttered his voice, hailstones and coals of fire. And he sent out his arrows and scattered them; he flashed forth lightnings and routed them. Then the channels of the sea were seen, and the foundations of the world were laid bare at your rebuke, O LORD, at the blast of the breath of your nostrils. 

He sent from on high, he took me; he drew me out of many waters. 

He rescued me from my strong enemy and from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me. 

They confronted me in the day of my calamity, but the LORD was my support. He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me. 

The LORD dealt with me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands he rewarded me. For I have kept the ways of the LORD, and have not wickedly departed from my God. 

For all his rules were before me, and his statutes I did not put away from me. I was blameless before him, and I kept myself from my guilt. 

So the LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness, according to the cleanness of my hands in his sight. 

With the merciful you show yourself merciful; with the blameless man you show yourself blameless; with the purified you show yourself pure; and with the crooked you make yourself seem tortuous. For you save a humble people, but the haughty eyes you bring down. For it is you who light my lamp; the LORD my God lightens my darkness. 

For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall. 

This God--his way is perfect;the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him. 

For who is God, but the LORD? And who is a rock, except our God?-- the God who equipped me with strength and made my way blameless. He made my feet like the feet of a deer and set me secure on the heights. He trains my hands for war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. 

You have given me the shield of your salvation, and your right hand supported me, and your gentleness made me great. 

You gave a wide place for my steps under me, and my feet did not slip. I pursued my enemies and overtook them, and did not turn back till they were consumed. 

I thrust them through, so that they were not able to rise; they fell under my feet. For you equipped me with strength for the battle; you made those who rise against me sink under me. 

You made my enemies turn their backs to me, and those who hated me I destroyed. 

They cried for help, but there was none to save; they cried to the LORD, but he did not answer them.  I beat them fine as dust before the wind; I cast them out like the mire of the streets. 

You delivered me from strife with the people; you made me the head of the nations; people whom I had not known served me. As soon as they heard of me they obeyed me; foreigners came cringing to me. 

Foreigners lost heart and came trembling out of their fortresses. 

The LORD lives, and blessed be my rock, and exalted be the God of my salvation--  the God who gave me vengeance and subdued peoples under me, 

who delivered me from my enemies; yes, you exalted me above those who rose against me; you rescued me from the man of violence. 

For this I will praise you, O LORD, among the nations, and sing to your name. 

Great salvation he brings to his king, and shows steadfast love to his anointed, to David and his offspring forever. Psalm 18

Resurrected Life

Praising His Breath in Honduras 2010 

"Filled with wonder awestruck wonder

At the mention of Your name

Jesus Your name is power, breath and living water

Such a marvelous mystery"

Revelation. One of my favorite songs of worship. Our church sang it's anthem of praise this morning in worship. It wasn't until 2008-2009 I understood what "awestruck wonder" meant and what it felt like. 

I mean, my husband and I welcomed four beautiful bundles fresh from Heaven and they each took our breath away, first from the physical pain (totally) and then from the awed wonder of looking upon these fresh souls from Heaven.

But there's another wonder that touches the deepest part of my soul, a marvelous "awestruck wonder" only Heaven Himself could be. "At the mention of Your Name Jesus, Your Name is power, breath and living water. Such a marvelous mystery!!" The Name of Jesus...the gasp of my soul.

When the panic attacks flooded my body beginning in December 2008, they literally took away my breath. Sharp pains flashed through my chest and left arm, my depressed lungs held captive by the pain, my heart creating it's own tempo. My world closed in while thoughts spun around at the outer edge of my conscience. The deepest part of me was raging, attempting to process this sudden crisis, looking for the way out. 

As the wave of panic and adrenaline would begin to swell up from my mid-stomach like the contraction of a laboring new Mother, rising into my lungs, suffocating my breath, heart fluttering in terror, my body became paralyzed from movement. I spun but the world was too.

Lifting my right hand over my heart, I calmly yet desperately inhaled a deep breath, and patted firmly on my chest, speaking words of worship in the weakest of voice, proclaiming to My God and my enemy Who and Where my Help was coming from, Who I trusted to save me and give me my breath of life back. Often the only words I could utter were "Be still my soul, be still." These lyrics come from a beautiful song Kari Jobe recorded. You can listen to it (click here.) 

With a spirit that grew into worshipful surrender, I learned to breath through the random, painful contractions of my body and mind, leaning into The One Who sustained every exhale of my shallow breaths. 

This may be the very season the Lord removed from me the desire for alcohol (calling me into a commitment of abstinence in 1994) so many years ago, for this season may have been a time to escape with it. Instead, I had my Jesus and beautiful oils to aid my mind and heart, and prayer. 

He held me one breath at a time as I surrendered in worship, trust and patience. Having been through four childbirths, I understood the importance of relaxing and breathing through these pain-filled, overwhelming minutes, seeming to have no end or repreave, until it simply did. 

I would sit there, wiping away the secret tears caught in the hands of my Savior, quietly regrouping myself there on the couch, in the car, at the store, at a friends house, even at church on a pew, only sometimes to encounter another soon after. The exhaustion was intense and sudden, as if a burst of energy had me running down the street yet I was seated. 

They were random and unpredictable, and private. I excused myself to escape embarrassment or shame, mostly the attention of something being wrong. I barely handled the truth of my situation, how could I have possibly exposed this fear to another only to have no words to explain it and no real way for them to stop it for me?! 

Confusion and pride helped me escape attention. I got busy and had a bigger smile each time. If I was pacing, I was panicking. But to anyone watching, I was a good helper and great cleaner!! All my mind could think was "This is the end of you and your encouragement ministry, children's and women's ministry. You're done." 

Panic turned to depression each day the attacks rolled through. I not only had to process losing my circumstantial control and identity, but my hopeful one day ministry. I grieved daily. The more I fought against it, the more the anxiety and sadness consumed my soul.

2008

As a Mother soothes her scared or hurting crying baby, gently but firmly patting them on their back, I sought and found the same rescue of my Abba Father over me as my heart and soul cried out for a deep need of rescue. 

Most often in trembling breath, the whisper of His Name, Jesus, was all I could utter. His Name was a soothing balm over my deepest, freshest wound.

My Help and Rescue, my resurrected soul redeemed by Awestruck Wonder and Grace breathed in and out. 

How beautiful and powerful the mention of His Name, Jesus, who is Power, Breath and Living Water, such a marvelous Mystery. 

Awestruck Wonder believed upon, hoped for and trusted. The more I surrendered into His hold, the less I fretted and feared. I had to trust Him to be Who He said He was. He was and is faithful. 

Thankfully, the Lord knew I what I needed even though I didn't want it, I needed His tangible touch. He had already given me a wonderful family even though they were grieving for me too. God sent me trustworthy Sisters in Christ who committed to pray over me, being my strength and focus when I had none. Sometimes the physical strength of those hugs compressed my chest enough to diffuse my trembling heart. 

He synced me with Love poured out and embraced. 

 
This is how Where Faith Is was born. I was terrified of the fear of judgement from others, yet I knew the Lord has asked me to let this be my missional ministry, to care more about not displaying the Glory of The Cross than my own glory/reputation being destroyed. 

I didn't even have words capable, but the Lord, one typed out keyword at a time, one post at a time, one blog at a time, poured out through the screen. Women began reaching out to me secretly sharing they were experiencing the same thing and were so scared. 

One by one the ministry of encouragement took root and spread. The once Professional Mask Wearing Overthinking Fearful Perfectionist who was afraid to disappoint her Savior, learned how to peel it off one thin layer at a time, to the glory of God alone. First through the screen and now whenever I have the opportunity to share, I will. 

Honestly, it's not always easy, it's a thorn in my flesh the enemy tries to press in and make me twinge but I immediately praise the Lord of Wonder there is no sting in death and remind him Who has me.

God is my All in All and He can be yours too, if you believe. Because of the Cross, because of the Grave, because He rose again on the 3rd day, you have Victory in Jesus' Name! Praise the Lord!!
Here on Resurrection Week, I am reminded of the even greater pain endured by my Sweet Savior. His suffering on all of our behalves, Why would He? How could He? Love is the answer. I am awestruck at the Grace Breath of God Who takes away the sins of the world, redeems and heals, restores and refreshes, oh Mighty is He!

 
Resurrection Week, for me, not only celebrates the awestruck wonder that God resurrected my soul from the grave, first with my Salvation, but once again in April 2009, gifting me Life every single day when I thought there was none left in me, but cherishes, adores, worships the very One Who gave His everything, blood poured out, setting straight the narrow path to Peace and Everlasting Life, here and forever more, once and for all. He is Lord. He is Father. He is King. He is mine!! And I am His! This is the mission fuel for living life and doing ministry in His name. Jesus, Faithful Friend and Father. Amen.

My LIFE BREATH Today

Friend, no matter what you are facing today, even when there are no words falling off your lips, or thoughts to utter, may you find the strength to call upon the Name of Jesus and not be overcome by fear and shame, but rather overwhelmed in awestruck wonder at the mention of His Powerful and Mighty Name...Jesus. 

Open your hands and heart to His Healing grace and believe He is with you. He will calm your raging seas. Trust He holds your every moment. Be patient and embrace the awestruck wonder of His Mighty Name. He very much is your Breath and your Refuge in the storms and valleys and in the deepest pits. Rest in His care and inhale the wonder and majesty of Healing Grace. You are not alone. Nothing is impossible for Him. Be still and be held. 

The joy of the Lord will be your strength. In the Name of Jesus we praise in Word and worshiping song and dance, amen and amen.

"Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy. Let me dwell in your tent forever! Let me take refuge under the shelter of your wings!" Psalm 61:1-4 ESV

"I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the LORD; let the humble hear and be glad. Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together! I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. 

Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them. 

Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all." Psalm 34:1-8, 17-19 ESV

Finding Jesus on the outside of your book!

It's that time of year again! Time to join the next Bible Study. Women's Bible studies have been a part of my journey for many, many, many years and anticipation grows with each one. Oh the joy of knowing something great is going to happen in the heavenly world we live in and the one we can touch and feel here. 
Week by week, new friendships are established and old ones strengthen, minds are blown at new truths learned and hearts softened and God's healing balm binds our wounds. Our spirits rejoice at the gathering, can you even imagine what He must feel when His children come to Him and ask for His love, assurance, direction and courage, peace and healing, wisdom and hope!?! We come feeling inadequate but eager to know our Father Better. You know He must leap off the Throne and smile! Do you think He exclaims HALLELUJAH!?! I bet He does!
Today, our small group gathered for our first day of Entrusted. As I prayed over our gathering time, God opened my eyes to something I hadn't really thought of and I shared it with the ladies, and I would like to share it with you too for the sake of deeper and wider growth as we enter in.
When we join a study and face the soul-searching, Scripture-homework, the tough questions, learning about God, learning about ourselves, we are seeking something more. More of what though? More than what we have. This week, God opened my eyes to look beyond the workbook itself. To see more than the Q&A's being asked of me. What happens on the outside of the book is just as important as what happens on the inside. Both have direct impacts on heart change. I have never focused on what happens on the outside of the covers of these books. Reflecting back, I see what He is talking about. 
Take the workbook away and ask a group of women to set aside 45 minutes of uninterrupted time every day to pray and worship and then a 2 hour time away to talk every week about their experiences, for 8 weeks and you've already seen a miracle! Then, we add into these moments, actual heart-work. Some chiseling and others mending work. It is exhausting and exhilarating at the same time. 
There is nothing like it when we intentionally get on the same page as God, with our Sisters. We grow in unique ways, one of which is accountability. When we join a study with other women, we are saying I don't want to do this alone, I want you to do it with me. We are committing ourselves as much to each other as we are to the personal study commitment between us and the Lord. We are saying I am going to walk this road with you and we will figure this out and help each other as we go. We are agreeing that our spirits can trust The One Who has gathered this specific group together at this specific time, for such a time as this to honestly share. We are gathering expecting to glimpse an extra dose of reality and strength. To know we are not the only ones struggling to answer question 4, page 26. To hear we are not the only woman stuck in a certain bad habit or behavior. To realize I am not the only one giving it my all I have and seeing no fruit, yet. To confirm something I have wondered. To be refreshed in Sisterhood blessings of laughter and hugs.
So often we see Bible study as the commitment to answered questions on the pages when what God is searching for is hearts falling deeper in Love's Name. Any Bible study we do, we ought to be looking for Jesus, on and off the pages. 
If you are new to a study or jumping back into one soon, I challenge you, I encourage you to look beyond the pages for what God has planned for you. Maybe your discipline for daily time management needs to be sharpened. Perhaps perfectionism or anxiety or shame might be overcome by the hugs and help of humility by way of vulnerability. There are probably a hundred different ways our Mighty and Gracious God uses to draw us closer to Him. 
Sister, He wrote The Book, cover to cover. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you in a fresh way this time. He is a faithful, jealous God. There is none more creative and awesome in power than He, so expect great things, in great ways...in many ways!  
I am so excited now to get started!!!!! Can't wait to find more of Jesus!!!           

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9

I'm a Christian...Now What?

Now What? You've heard of that moment in a person's life. Their eyes are opened. Heart changed. Habits broken. A renewed heart and soul. They have this glowing essence of joy about them...they have accepted Christ as their personal Lord and Savior. And then it happened to you. Hallelujah! Now what? 
The assumed "fairy dust" of perfection, divine knowledge, eyes to see everything God sees, has failed you, or you find yourself asking what you have done wrong. We made this decision to lead a pure and blameless life, but how? What do we do?
We assume the Holy Spirit would be like a fairy of special powers to reveal all of life's answers the moment we invite Him to dwell within us. Like a Magic 8 ball you shake to get the divine, magical answer. He does work divinely...but He doesn't work magically. The Holy Spirit is not a Google-God. He is christ in us, available to lead, carry, encourage, correct, to show us the way God has planned and purposed for us. Prayer is our direct line to the Divine.
So what do we do now that we choose Christ to lead our life? How does this impact my marriage, my family, my friendships, what I do in my free time, the places I will go now? How do I worship, pray, study, parent and be an excellent wife? What now?
This was the conversation a friend and I were having recently at lunch. She asked, How do I do this? She had been saved several years ago but hadn't been intentionally mentored and was left to observe other Believers's lives (that's always scary...we are all sinners saved by grace) and has been trying to figure it out as she goes. She joined a Bible study to learn more about the Scriptures themselves but here she sat today, with a life rededicated to Him, desperate to know how she is supposed to be a Christian wife to an unbelieving husband, a Christian Mom to her kids, serve in ministry none of which she herself is sure of what hers is. How was she to lead or follow when she herself didn't know much about being a Christian? 
Churches are so good at presenting the Gospel but often fail at the last Amen of their prayer and discipleship never happens. The new Believer has no one to answer their question, What now? 
They have 2 choices: 1.) ask someone they trust or hope someone offers to walk with alongside them, or 2.) do their best on their own to read, learn and watch and hope you're doing it the best way for you. Why would we want our fellow sisters to have to figure it out when we have gleaned even a little to be shared? If God has saved us, we have a testimony of grace and what that has been like to share with others. Maybe we have forgotten or minimized our walk. Maybe our own fire has sizzled. Maybe we only see failure in our life. One thing is for sure, Satan will not be happy about connections made because he knows too well a cord of three is not easily broken. We must guard our established friendships for the same reason. God gets the glory when we stay united, honest, intentional and pure. 
I am afraid in our world of Instant Info, people find it easier to "look it up" and take whatever is the path of least resistance. I am guilty of that, thank you Google and Pinterest. What they really need is organic or intentional mentoring that helps any and every Believer throughout their lifelong journey. Thank the Lord I have this too!! I don't know where I would be in my faith if God had not blessed me with amazingly wise and willing, God-fearing, God-loving woman to help lead me navigate every area in every season over my many years. Learning and growing is a lifetime journey.
What do I do? 
We have all asked ourselves this same question at one time or another. There's always that first week, first crisis, first new friendship of sisterhood, first failure, first betrayal, first Bible study, first spiritual attack, first everything and then for every new season, a wonder how do I do this?!? We all have had our first day one day.
I was brought back to so many of my firsts, even firsts of new seasons like the one I am in parenting an adult child in college. The wonder. The fears. The prayers. The pleas. The failures. The victories. Where do I begin? What list of "things" can I share with her. 
Not knowing where to begin, I asked her what first is she trying to figure out. She said her marriage. Her husband does not share her same faith walk. While he once walked in the doors of God's house, it had been many moons since and he didn't understand her growing commitment, joy and faith. I tell you what, she is much stronger than she knows! I am inspired and awed at her commitment to walk this life in the freedom of her faith. If anyone could justify not going to church, it would be the spouse of one who doesn't. She could easily stay home and read her Bible silently alone and make the best Sunday morning breakfast anyone has ever feasted on and serve her husband by performing well. Instead, she serves well and loads up the kids for Sunday morning worship in her local church. She is learning and growing week by week, but what now? How does she do it once she walks out the doors of the church? To some degree or another, we are all trying to figure it out.
I am certainly not an expert or one who has it all figured out but I do have a life lived with both failures and victories. Some things worked out wonderfully while other choices crushed me. My personality is one of lists and long ones at that. I like details and structure more than random chance or chaos. I love reading and researching ideas and concepts of How-Tos from crafts, writing, photography, interior design and recipes to parenting, marriage and ministry. I began thinking of all the things I attempt to do as a help-mate to my husband and as a Mom to my children ranging college to elementary age. Oh how I wish I could do it all and be an excellent Proverbs 31 Woman, but I fail...constantly. Praise God my Lord and my family know my heart. They know that burnt biscuits and overcooked chicken doesn't mean I am careless and irresponsible or that I don't love them enough to provide Pinterest Pretty food. They know my heart is absolutely head over heels for them, thank God!
During our lunch, I was about to share the Proverbs 31 womanly goals we all dream of having, it hit me fresh again. The reminder how our lives are not about the things we do, or don't do. God looks at our heart. God has transformed us into new beings, we are therefore new creations and as that new creation with a new heart, it changes us as a whole. Christ in us is Christ in us. Our hopes, thoughts, behaviors, motives, filters, actions are because He lives in us. There are plenty of commandments and principles and examples to glean from in The Word and of course millions of books and plenty of conferences and workshops to learn some How Tos. The Proverbs 31 woman is a wonderful example of what it looks like in example of serving her family in her day, however what God asks us is to do is love Him and serve Him with all of our heart, and share this love with others, especially with our legacy children and future generations. Actions are simply the outward expression of our hearts. God is looking at our hearts and it is from the love we hold for our Lord that we love others.
Even though my husband is a seasoned, active in his walk Believer, the way I serve him and love him is no different than how my friend serves her husband. The ways I love, discipline and encourage my children of different ages and temperaments are the same way she will love, discipline and encourage her children. I am called to ministry, giving of my time, talents and resources for Kingdom purpose the same as she is as a new Believer. We both will do it scared but with humble adoration of God's equipping of His people to the task He has asked us to do no matter how much we know or how old our spiritual age. Our fruits (Galatians 5:22-23) to grow are the same and our love is from the same Father. We even (should be) thinking alike according to Philippians 4:8. Our lives and gifting may differ, but our Gift of Salvation and heart's aim are the same.
There really isn't much difference between us. Time is the only real difference  I have had the opportunity to build a history with my God and because of that, I have had more failures covered by grace, more victories to testify to His greatness and can call to witness His divine intervention and mighty Love! 
How do I do this? With God!!!!  
What now? Love fully! 

I am sure there was probably a shorter way to write this out, but I really wanted to get into the heart and mind of someone who might be reading this and can totally relate to the thoughts and behaviors of being that "new girl" and not knowing exactly what she is supposed to do now that she's made the choice to follow after Christ. And truthfully, you may have even accepted Christ as your Savior a hundred moons ago and yet have never sat down and had a practical, vulnerable conversation with another Believer on these things. How great and beneficial and rewarding when we do. Not only do we receive hope and encouragement, GOD receives the glory for a life lived for HIM! 
Well, I can't NOT give you some type of list to encourage you, so here it is: 

Love! Love God with all of your heart and chase hard after Him. Psalm 18:28-39

Be in His Word daily. Seek Him first in every way!  Matthew 6:33

Seek wise women of God and accountability. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Nourish your heart with faith, hope and love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Find a good Women's Bible Study to glean within the hearts and lives around you. 2 Timothy 3:16-17

Serving others well and figuring out your ministry moments will come out of your love for God your Savior. Guard your heart. Deuteronomy 6:4-7

Listen to the whispers of the Holy Spirit and rebuke the whispers of Satan. 1 John 4:1-4

Confess and repent! You cannot hide from God! Don't give Satan a foothold. You are free indeed!! Luke 15:7

Begin and end every day with prayer and prayerfully wonder and worship in between. 

Share your heart and testimony with others. Matthew 5:16, Philemon 1:4-7

Remember you are loved, forgiven and precious and your mistakes and all your unknowns will never outweigh God's Grace for you. Lamentations 3:20-25, Jeremiah 29:11-13

Falling Into The Pit

Prior to 2008, I thought I knew myself pretty well and was okay with who I was. Reflecting back, I realize while I was okay with who I was, I wasn't okay with how I was. Born onto the Cradle Roll at our church by a military Dad and friend to everyone Mom, "doing the right thing" was something almost programmed into me. You add in my shy, insecure personality and there ya have your official Holy Roly, Goodie Two Shoes, always trying to be perfect and pure, not causing any issues, church girl.
I wasn't know as the loud one, party one, if anyone can do it she can (or will) or the prettiest one. I was proud to honor my Lord and my family as pure in heart and mind, never intentionally getting near trouble. My desire has always been to live "right" before God, family and others.
Years later when I entered Adulthood and soon after, Motherhood, it was at a time when the internet was taking off and the competition for commerce was in your home and phone 24/7. Back in my day, there were billboards, posters on storefronts and the occasionally mailed brochures. They were random and few. With the acceleration of technology, we have full time promotions. There are even ads you can skip, after you watch for at least 5-10 seconds.
All of a sudden, the comparison and brainwashing started to impact me. If I used that product, I would be prettier, my hair would be silky and styled, my outfits would be fresh, my car would have bluetooth (CD players back then). My baby would sleep better if I had this or be safer if I used that. We would be healthier if we bought this gadget and shopped at this store. My marriage would be happier if we went on this vacation and slept on this kind of bed. You have friends trying some of these products or ways of doing things and you wonder Should I be doing that? Is that the better way?
You can't help but wonder if it could be true, so you try.
And so it goes. Always wondering if this way is the best way, or honestly...if it's the right way vs the wrong way you are doing it. This is fear, worry, insecurity. Not that you aren't keeping an open mind of new ways to do things at home, work or in life, but you are feeling condemned at the choices and way you are doing things potentially inadequately or inefficiently...or wrongly.
After years of self-doubt and constant fear of judgement, I collapsed under the pressure into a pit. Thankfully God knew I was heading that way, and He had already lined it with grace. With the same child-like faith and heart to do right, everything about me was to seek to be better than I was. I always seem to find the best qualities in others but then instead of being sharpened by them, I felt less than because of them. I strived to be the best in every aspect, stacking myself up to the giftedness of every one else. Surely I too could take care of my home with all the homemade organic goodies and organize my home with glass jars and a label maker, hang perfectly ironed clothes in the closet and have vacuumed so well, not one dog hair would find it's way into a corner or a shelf in the house. I would do all this in my well nourished and fit body from my hours at the gym and eating from my cute garden in the back yard. Neither me or my kids would have cavities because we brush three times a day, seven days a week with the right toothpaste, never eating more sugar than recommended by the FDA. We would show up to school and church safely in our ride with side airbags and alarmed sensors. Oh how I could go on....
But there I was, in the pit, where grace softened my direct fall. It bruised me, and scared me, but it didn't kill me. It caught me. By grace, I laid empty yet so full of hope and faith for a better me. The perfect me that God has desired and created me to be. The Mom, Wife, Friend He'd be proud of. But here I lay prostrate and less than. Grace said You're enough. Grace said Just be you. Grace said Life is short. Grace said Days are meant to be lived, not wasted in worry. Grace said Do not fear more, fear less. Grace said Fear not! Grace said I am capable and you are in My hands. Grace said Follow Me. Grace said My grace is sufficient enough for you! Grace said Get up and go!
Friend, wherever you are in your life, remember Grace. You may be amazing at some things the Lord has gifted you for, but you are not equipped to have all the giftings of everyone else to make you fully awesome in everything to everyone. Jesus is the only Fully Awesome one. By grace, be you! By grace, be brave. By grace, be whole! By grace, live! Love Who's you are and how you are...saved by Grace!

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV

A Discombobulated Heart

"I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth." Psalm 34:1 (ESV) That's not always easy is it?!? When our hearts hurt so much we can't feel it's pulse anymore. When our minds almost feel so numb we have no thoughts. When our soul is so burdened and heavy, we feel weightless. I have found this to be true during the seasons that are the darkest for whatever reason it might be. An overwhelmed soul. A burdened heart and an unsure mind.

I recently experienced such a heart draining season. It wasn't a loss of any one thing, but an accumulation of many things that saddened my soul. My marriage is good. My kids are all healthy. I have amazing friends. As far as I know, my health is okay (despite the continual fight of fatigue), yes, "though my outward body is failing, my inner is renewing day by day," believe me, I know! And for goodness sakes, I live in Paradise. So really, how could I possibly be downcast?!? Believe me, I wondered the same thing day after day. But there's that cloud, that blahness of nothingness. Anyone else feel that way in some seasons?

It is possible to feel such a weight of sadness, eating is something that has to be forced, getting out of bed is a struggle much less housekeeping or having to work, getting out of the house seems like a daunting task, and the thought of going to lunch with a friend isn't even an option. Then there is church. We go because it's what we do week after week. We wouldn't dare draw attention to ourselves by not showing up, and we don't want to lie and say "we didn't feel good" even though it is absolutely true in our heart, so we go, putting on the best possible smile, and cute, but comfy outfit we have.

We hug quickly, avoid eye contact and get to our seats as fast as we can. Music plays and yet it passes right through us. We feel nothing. The Pastor prays and preaches, and we hear mumbled sentences in our numb minds. Nothing is sticking. Nothing is penetrating through the wounded walls of our souls. Until...the name of Jesus, The Word, is spoken. Our spirit leaps within us a hope of help! Please speak to me! Rescue me from this pit! Can you hear me out there?!? You can feel the stirring within you but you have no strength, but then you sense it....He sees your hurt. His hand catches your tears while the other grabs hold of your heart's hand. And....He weeps with you. Oh what relief to collapse and be lifted! What joy of relief! 

The Great Physician has come to heal this discombobulated heart! The Mighty Counselor, The Great I Am, hears my cries! The numbness subsides and you feel breath again. Finally, our heart is hugged. Finally, the joy of the Lord, is our strength once again. It is well with our soul! What amazing grace! We can face tomorrow with hope and joy!!

I don't know what you are facing in your life personally, directly or indirectly, but I pray these words comfort you knowing you are not alone. Even the most positive people, the strongest of us, fall downcast on our knees and can't get up right away. Ecclesiastes describes the variant of seasons we all walk through in our lifetime. How wonderful a God we serve to send not only His Comforter in our time of need, but He sends friends who meet us in these little hidden crawl spaces of life and shine His Light into the dark little corner where we sit.

Maybe you're not the one in a time of sadness, then I plea with you to be a Light to someone who is. You won't know it it until you seek them out. They certainly won't be drawing attention to themselves if they are Giver. Encouragers don't like to be seen, un-encouraging. Yes, I know, Takes one to know one.

You will see it in their eyes if you just look for 3 seconds. Most likely your Spirit inside you is pulling to hug the spirit inside of them! Do not pressure them into sharing, it's the very thing they can't simply do nor do they want to fall apart right there in front of you. But, be the hug from God. Let them know you are there when they are ready to share, or fellowship again. Send them scriptures of hope and encouragement to keep their eyes fixed on Jesus. Lift them up in prayer and fight the battle against despair with them and for them. Speak loving truth, help them stay pure and upright. Be that LightHouse, a source of Light in to their darkness. And if you want to be a super great friend, a little chocolate goes a long way!! LOL!!!

Friend, He sees you when you are hiding from everyone else. Satan wants you to isolate and self-destruct, but you must fight back in Jesus Name! God hears your words when none can be spoken. He notices the tears drenching your soul. When you can't muster the strength to fellowship with others, He is with you. When you feel empty and numb, remember the filler of your soul and simply cry out, "Jesus...." He hears you. He is near. I pray your joy comes in the morning and you feel your heart beating again. Grieve when and where you need to grieve but also rejoice and count your blessings. Worship The Great I Am, dance with Him, sit with Him, smile with Him. His heart is for you. Today, be where faith is. Trust His friendship. Rest in His Kingship.

May the Words of Psalm 34 (ESV) encourage you today as a declaration of your heart, soul and mind! Bless your heart eternally and now! Hugs&Hope, Michele

"I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth." 

My soul makes its boast in the LORD; let the humble hear and be glad.

 Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together!

 I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. 

Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.

 This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. 

The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them. 

Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! 

Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack!

 The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. 

Come, O children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. 

What man is there who desires life and loves many days, that he may see good? 

Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. 

Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. 

The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry.

 The face of the LORD is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth. 

When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. 

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. 

Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all. 

He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.

 Affliction will slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be condemned. 

The LORD redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned."

AMEN!!!!!