Overcoming The Blahs with Blessings

You just can't seem to shake it. That feeling of defeat. The weight in your body pulling you downward. Your legs and arms droop. You have the energy of a sloth. The sun seems too bright for your eyes, your heart feels deflated and your mindfulness escapes you. Blah. That's how you'd respond if someone asked you how you were feeling. I've heard it called Spring Fever, Depression, being in a Slump, having the Blues, etc and the degrees of it range the arc of a rainbow.

There's many factors that contribute to the "blahs" from hormones to life circumstances, immediate or on going. While I think there are obvious times of the year such as holidays and after New Year's we are most susceptible to feeling depressive, it can be a seasonal and random thing for any one of us. 

I am brought to prayer and writing today after seeing a few friends sharing their recent blues. The old saying "Takes one to know one" comes to mind as my heart skips a beat in shared sorrow but also in the desire to encourage. I have been here and have a tendency to be 'blah' too, so how do we break out of the blahs?!

It goes without saying but I will say it in case someone needs it to be said, if you have feelings of great despair, deplete and feel as if you have gotten to the place where death seems like your best option, you must, you must, you must reach out to your Pastor or other clergy in your church, or seek a professional counseling center in your area. This is a pit you will not navigate out alone, and you shouldn't have to. 

You are loved and there are people God has placed in your location and life, for such a time as this, to touch your heart and soul for Him and you are not alone. Reach out and reach up for that Hand. Do not waste another moment, go.

For those days and seasons we walk through the uncalendared season of Blah, what can we do to shake off the blah? Bottom line for me is Worship. Worship wipes out worry and ushers in joy. Worship is the vitamin our heart needs to be healthy. The enemy cannot steal the joy, peace or focus of a woman in deep worship.

What then is worship? According to Webster's Dictionary, worship means,
: to honor or reverence as a divine being or supernatural power 
: to regard with great or extravagant respect, honor, or devotion a celebrity worshipped by her fans
: to perform or take part in worship or an act of worship

Notice it doesn't say worship is something you do for 30 minutes each week at a local church. Worship is not the singing portion of a church service. Yes, we worship the Lord through song and prayer during a corporate gathering, but the act of worship is a lifestyle, a way of thinking and living. It's the intention of the moment or activity. To honor the Lord, to put in action that which is our heart's belief of adoration.

  "And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:17

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe,  for our God is a consuming fire." Hebrews 12:1-2, 28-29 ESV

Each time we choose to worship over our worry of woes, our spirit refreshes and stirs the embers of Light in your soul. Worry and defeating thoughts pour water on our embers. Depending on how much you are watering your fire, depends on how quickly your Light will burn out. Even a steady drip of water can sizzle out a fire, one drop at a time if nothing else fans that flame. And when that gush pours over you due to a life crisis, how much more you can withstand if your fire was beyond the borders of it's reach. One drop of water can't put out the flares of the sun or diffuse a volcano, but it will put out the flame of a candle.

Now how? How do we worship when we feel blah? In every way: body mind, soul and spirit. 

Spiritually, first and foremost, you must be in The Word of God and not just self-help or fantasy books or blogs. It's easier to read a quick "feel good" about positive thinking but The Word of God is alive and active, diving truth (Hebrews 4:12) which is crucial to your identity, purpose and practicalness. You have an enemy who fears you staying fixed on Jesus and falling deeper in love with Him. 

The enemy seeks to destroy and divide in many ways and defeating thoughts and depression are a few of them. Let God tell you who He is, who you are in Him, the purpose He has for you and how together with Him you will accomplish these things. The spirit intercedes on our behalf when our groans are too great and words escape us. If all you can utter is one thing, say Jesus. There is incredible power in His name alone. Speak it out loud and remind the enemy Who you are seeking and worshiping. 

Emotionally and practically in your day, turn on Christian music whether it be your local radio or online station or Spotify app. During these days, you need the words to proclaim your heart and mind cannot pour out apart from the help of those God has gifted as song writers and worship leaders to draw your heart and mind into active worship through song. Words shape our prayers. 

Watch what you are putting into your body, like sugars, alcohol, drugs, unhealthy foods and energy drinks. I have to be mindful of my diet when I am blah. For a period of time, I had to cut all sugars and focused on cleaner eating and that's not easy when you have loss of appetite and want a warm chocolate chip cookie (or two) or a frozen ice cream as comfort food. Confession between us: I am a Dr Pepper or Southern Sweet Tea Girl paired with some salty hot fries when I need a little comfort food. I don't drink alcohol so these are my Go Tos.

Once you get past the first day or two, it gets easier I promise. Choose wisely and practically. Make some protein shakes that give you a meal's serving and great base for snacks and grab some good salad makings. Don't cheat yourself from good bacon and croutons! If we're gonna be good, let's make it a delicious good! Choose to worship with your bodily choices. Your body is a temple, keep it pure for His breath to fan the flames.

Exercise and/or activity are equally necessary. Believe me, the couch, my blankets and my puppy are the perfect cuddle for comfort. Slipping back under the covers for sleep while may be a temporary escape, and if you genuinely need a nap, take one, but do not sleep your days and nights away. You lose muscle tone and endorphins deplete. 

Whatever (healthy) hobby you enjoy, do it. Grab your paint brush, camera, pet, walking shoes, weights, make up, book, hammer, computer and muster up the energy to determine to "just do it." You will feel so much better, then your next outing ought to be with a friend. Go for a walk, meet for lunch, go sit at the shore. Definitely don't go to the bar or mall, where you can create more problems in your moment of deplete. 

Allow your mind to relax and your heart to receive. 

Laughter truly is contagious and healing. Be honest with your friend and be vulnerable. Share your blah with her and allow her to minister to you through prayer, help and hugs. Since moving to Florida, simply taking in a little salty air for a lunch break or a sunset bless my soul like nothing else these days. I am not a star-gazing girl, but the Lord has brought me outside at night over the past year to gaze at the stars he calls out every single night. It's an amazing thing to be reminded of His consistency. At the end of a tough day, I'll go stand in the middle of my yard and just look up. More than Twinkle Twinkle wishes, it's worshiping the Star Himself.

I cannot tell you how many times over the years pride shut me down but God....He is gracious and merciful to stir in a friend's heart to reach out. Knowing I should say Yes, I do and it is exactly the thing my soul needs. There's a few Sister Friends that just see right through me and know when I need a prayer or a laugh and boy can they bring it in Jesus name. Divine appointments are one God sends to us, for us to receive and return to Him His glory and love. They may be obvious, but maybe it's just a thing He does unseen. This is where faith is. This is where hope anchors us.

There comes a warning in here too, to make sure you don't become self-absorbed and settle into the attention that comes from pity parties. Turn your blah into someone elses blessing. How can you make someone else smile and feel loved today? Who can you serve in Jesus name?

David penned Psalms representing every feel there is known to man from fear to ferocious love. As you read The Word, be sure to include the reading of The Psalms and find passages that express how you feel and know you're not alone in them. But also find Psalms that express your praise and adoration, and hope. I love Psalm 18 and it's my go to (one day I will memorize it) for worshiping in Truth and promise. 

There's so many other things you can research online and find like journaling tips, breathing techniques, foods for boosting mindfulness, and you can do that but my heart encouragement for you is to simply Be still and seek the heart whisper of Jesus. Settle yourself enough to feel yourself inhale Grace. Exhale the blah. With each breath, worship and exhale the words out loud. In the fire, He is with you. In deep waters where your feet no longer reach, He lifts you. He is faithful and near, you can trust Him.

There is power in the beautiful name of Jesus. Exchange your blah for blessings abundant and watch your Light explode for our God is a consuming fire and darkness cannot drown it out! Oh Lord, we praise You Most High as conquerors in Your name. We believe nothing can separate us from Your amazing love as declared in Romans 8. 

Lift our eyes and strengthen our limbs to lean into your hold. Be our shield against the sinful thoughts of this broken world and release the chains that bind us and weight us down that we may be free to move where You lead us. Return to us the joy of our salvation and breath reviving breath back into the lungs of our souls. We are asking, seeking and trusting You, we worship You, Jesus. Praise Your name, in the Name of Jesus, amen and amen.

The Lord Is My Rock and My Fortress

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David, the servant of the Lord, who addressed the words of this song to the Lord on the day when the Lord rescued him from the hand of all his enemies, and from the hand of Saul. He said:

I love you, O LORD, my strength. 
The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.  I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies. 

 The cords of death encompassed me; the torrents of destruction assailed me; the cords of Sheol entangled me; the snares of death confronted me. 

In my distress I called upon the LORD; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears. 

Then the earth reeled and rocked; the foundations also of the mountains trembled and quaked, because he was angry. Smoke went up from his nostrils, and devouring fire from his mouth; glowing coals flamed forth from him. 

He bowed the heavens and came down; thick darkness was under his feet. He rode on a cherub and flew; he came swiftly on the wings of the wind. 

He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him, thick clouds dark with water. Out of the brightness before him hailstones and coals of fire broke through his clouds. 

The LORD also thundered in the heavens, and the Most High uttered his voice, hailstones and coals of fire. And he sent out his arrows and scattered them; he flashed forth lightnings and routed them. Then the channels of the sea were seen, and the foundations of the world were laid bare at your rebuke, O LORD, at the blast of the breath of your nostrils. 

He sent from on high, he took me; he drew me out of many waters. 

He rescued me from my strong enemy and from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me. 

They confronted me in the day of my calamity, but the LORD was my support. He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me. 

The LORD dealt with me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands he rewarded me. For I have kept the ways of the LORD, and have not wickedly departed from my God. 

For all his rules were before me, and his statutes I did not put away from me. I was blameless before him, and I kept myself from my guilt. 

So the LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness, according to the cleanness of my hands in his sight. 

With the merciful you show yourself merciful; with the blameless man you show yourself blameless; with the purified you show yourself pure; and with the crooked you make yourself seem tortuous. For you save a humble people, but the haughty eyes you bring down. For it is you who light my lamp; the LORD my God lightens my darkness. 

For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall. 

This God--his way is perfect;the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him. 

For who is God, but the LORD? And who is a rock, except our God?-- the God who equipped me with strength and made my way blameless. He made my feet like the feet of a deer and set me secure on the heights. He trains my hands for war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. 

You have given me the shield of your salvation, and your right hand supported me, and your gentleness made me great. 

You gave a wide place for my steps under me, and my feet did not slip. I pursued my enemies and overtook them, and did not turn back till they were consumed. 

I thrust them through, so that they were not able to rise; they fell under my feet. For you equipped me with strength for the battle; you made those who rise against me sink under me. 

You made my enemies turn their backs to me, and those who hated me I destroyed. 

They cried for help, but there was none to save; they cried to the LORD, but he did not answer them.  I beat them fine as dust before the wind; I cast them out like the mire of the streets. 

You delivered me from strife with the people; you made me the head of the nations; people whom I had not known served me. As soon as they heard of me they obeyed me; foreigners came cringing to me. 

Foreigners lost heart and came trembling out of their fortresses. 

The LORD lives, and blessed be my rock, and exalted be the God of my salvation--  the God who gave me vengeance and subdued peoples under me, 

who delivered me from my enemies; yes, you exalted me above those who rose against me; you rescued me from the man of violence. 

For this I will praise you, O LORD, among the nations, and sing to your name. 

Great salvation he brings to his king, and shows steadfast love to his anointed, to David and his offspring forever. Psalm 18

Life of Grace

You think you're happy until one day you smile so much, your cheeks hurt. You think you rule your world until the day your world turns upside-down. You think you're faith is everything until Jesus reminds you He is everything. 

The presence of God sends chills through the tiny hairs on your arms and you learn it's the presence of your Spirit rejoicing from the inside out. You think you can do it, until God shows you how He's gonna do it. You think you have enough money, until the unexpected happens. You think you will live a full, long life until that tumor appears. 

We sure do a lot of thinking. 

The world is full of assumptions but one thing we do not have to make assumptions about is our Lord Jesus. According to the Scriptures, Christ Jesus is the Cornerstone, our strong Foundation. The Lord is our Redeemer, King, Father, Refuge, Friend, Shield, Answer, Protector and Sweetest Love. He is faithful, just, righteous, steadfast, enduring, long-suffering, gracious, merciful and mighty. In the simplest of human languages and definitions, these are the characteristics and promises of Our Savior which hardly do justice to defining an infinite God. He's so much more than we can think or imagine. 

All knowing, all seeing, all able, ever present is He. It is written, He is LORD over all. All our worry. All our fear. All our plans. All our blessings. All our bodies. All the principalities. All. He is All.

"However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” — the things God has prepared for those who love him— these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. 

For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. 

This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words. 

The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit." 1 Corinthians 2: 9-14 NIV

Ecclesiastes reminds us there will be times for everything in this life. As countless as the stars in the sky are the numerous variables on this side of Heaven for you to be able to figure things out and have an unshakable, fortified plan outside of living by faith, for grace, by hope, with trust and in love.. In the economy of God A + B does not always = C. But rest assured Jesus + God + Holy Spirit = Life. E v e r y  s i n g l e  time.

Whatever you are facing today, seek the Lord. With Him you will have life. With Him you will have peace and joy even through tears and questions of sufferings. He is our Healer and Counselor for all the hurts. Life is not fair or predictable. But God is. We are weak, but He is strong. Don't forget, there is an enemy working against you, to keep you from experiencing a gracious and joy-filled life. 

So, how do we live by faith and feel purposeful and ready for whatever comes our way? By spending time leaning into God, learning who He is through daily Bible reading, fellowship through Bible studies, in songs of worship, and by the testimonies of others of like-minded faith. Arming yourself with His armor and not just your plans. Knowing who God is, the One you are placing all your hopes and fears in, the greatest Love of your soul, waits ready to meet with you and reveal His love to you every day. You will find Him if you seek Him. He isn't seeking your lip service and He isn't fooled by our masks.

He is am amazing God who saves sinners by grace, who extended the Peace offering, with grace. Your sins and my sins have earned us an eternity in the lake of fire and gnashing of teeth, but by the Grace Giver our Lord, He sent His Son to pay the debt we owe and we are found in Him righteous. Wow. That's everything. We have redemption forever in Him. We have life ever lasting in Him. Today and always, we have comfort, peace, joy, purpose, in Him. He is the same yesterday, today and forever, amen! Will you choose today, to accept and live in this life of Grace?

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." 

2 Corinthians 4:17 NIV

Prayer: Father God, Lord over All, we pray according to the Scriptures we may be found faithful in You..."Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything. 

We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also." 

2 Corinthians 6: 4-13 NIV May it be so, amen. Here is where we live, not in the black and white, rather Where Faith is. 

Worship in Song here: 

Golf & God

This weekend I enjoyed “golfing” with my college son. He recently took up the game of golf when he moved back to Texas to attend college, so I was eager to watch him play. 

Yes, he played, I watched…(and took pictures, of course)! 

It was a beautiful, crisp, sunny day in good ol Texas. I absolutely love my kiddos, so anything I get to do with them is a thrill for this Mama’s heart. And if you have more than 2 kiddos, you know getting one-on-one time with any one of them is a thrill, and a blessing, nearly a miracle!

We moved to Florida just over a year ago, but our oldest graduated last year and ended up in Texas for college. I was blessed to get to fly in for the weekend to hang out and hug on him. Oh, and not to mention get my fill of melt in your mouth fajitas! Yeeessss!!!!! Something you cannot find out here in the islands. I know, what a sacrifice. I hear your sarcasm, cuz it's mine too!

Friday, he loaded up his clubs and I loaded up my camera and off we went to the course. 

It’s the end of winter in Texas which means everything is brownish-yellow with hints of green in it’s landscapes. Very different from the island life of all shades of plush greens. There's something wonderful and majestic about all the old moss hanging off the old sprawling oak trees. 

Hole 1. 

Not wanting to get in his way, I sat back in the golf cart taking in the scenery, watching my man-child study his million dollar shot on the fairway. I didn’t care if he hit it off into the other side of the course on Hole 6. I was loving just being there. I had shade. I had a kinda-view, but... I couldn’t see his shot. The top of the golf cart blocked me being able to see the ball zipping through the air. And there was no hope of me trying to focus my eyes to watch where it would potentially and hopefully drop some 250 yards away. 

So, I climbed out of the cart and would stand up and watch it and half the time I lost it in the sky. Ugh! I blame by 40 year old eyesight. Or lack of! 

He'd holler over, “Did ya see that?!?” Yes, I saw it on the tee, but then I lost it against the blue sky drenched with white puffy clouds.

 No doubt, some he was hoping I didn’t see while other shots sat right where he had hoped they would. 

After a few missed viewings he called me over to the green, “Come here Mama.” He said, “Stand right next to me and you will be able to watch the ball from where I stand and see where it goes.” I felt kinda awkward standing there in my blue jeans, flip flops with big ol camera in hand. But, he was right. The view and perception were grand! 

Standing closer, I could actually see the ball take flight. Some zipped straight down the middle while there were a few that spliced off to the left. 

What a wonderful moment and a perfect view! I could see his facial expressions as he focused and was taking aim. I noticed the slight adjustments his body made as he positioned himself on the course. I felt the hush, the determination, the power of his swing.

 And then I watched as he executed the full body twist and swing. What an adrenaline rush to be so close and feel what he feels, see what he sees. Guess where I stood for the rest of the time...yep, just behind him. There was no better view than his!

When we draw close to God, we have the same thrill and advantage as we position ourselves for the perfect view. 

Just as my son didn't explain to me where he would send the ball, God doesn’t always explain the path to us. 

We stand with Him because we desire to see what He sees and we trust His intentions. He knows what He's doing. God is faithful to bring us close to Him and show us what He sees and feel what He feels as we take in things from His view.

How true it is when we draw closer seeking our Lord that we find the joy of seeing His expressions of grace and love, compassion and mercy. The closer we get, the clearer we see the slight changes in His direction as He leads us along still waters, through valleys from glory to glory. We can feel His intensity and power. 

Nothing on this side of Heaven is more thrilling to me than seeing God do His thing, from His creation to His compassion. He is wonderful Savior, beautiful Counselor and Mighty Warrior. 

There is none like Him and we are each invited to stand next to Him, to see a view much grander and fuller than from the sidelines. What a thrill of a view! You will never be satisfied again staying back off in the cart where you think you belong where you cannot possibly see fully all there is to see. 

Yes, it may feel awkward and you may feel out of place at times when God calls you up to the greens, but I promise you, you will not regret the view! 

(And, by the way, up on the greens is where you can better see the sand pits, water dangers and gators on the banks! Trust me, you want to be on The Greens!)

Matthew 7:7-8 ESV "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 

For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened."

Psalm 23 

"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 

He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. 

He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever."

Here are some of my favorite shots from the course:

I Just Assumed...not any more!

I met a new friend this past week and in our "get to know" moment as we shared our story, a sentence came out of my mouth I had never thought of before and certainly had never said. I can only assume it was a God moment. Sometimes my assumption are right. Sometimes they are wrong.
Being the new (guy) gal in the community, I have been asked close to hundred times now, "What's your story? Why are you here?" Each time I get to share, God reminds me of His plan and the perfection of His timing. Last week was really no different...same testimony, different new friend. After sharing the summary of details and God's divine leading us in our move to Florida, I said these "crazy" words as a summery point of how God has been working on me over the past several years. This phrase came out my mouth for the first time... Assumptive Living. Assumptive Living. I said, "God has taken me from living a life of assumptive living to intentional living." I sat kinda of dumb founded for a minute trying to process why in the world did I just say that. 
Over the past several years, God has been walking me though Intentional Living. So much so, he even brought a dear Mentor and Friend into my life who actually used those words every time she talked. God could not have been obvious. She was a huge part of the refining process my heart and mind needed to endure and be shaped by. Knowing why I do what I do. Choosing to own my actions and not play the blame game in life. Stepping out in courage after the things God calls me to. Being intentional about growing in my knowledge and deepening my love with my Savior and Abba Father. But the years before this....not so much. I intentionally...assumed.
I have always described my personality issues as anxious and shy. One who fears the unknown, a follower not a leader. But then there were these words...Assumptive Living...wow. It was true. I had never thought about that before. For most of my life, I have been fearful and anxious. I feel it inside me, raised blood pressure and heart racing, feeling as if I couldn't breath. Double checking everything I do in fear of judgement, which would lead to fear of rejection. Ever watchful of my surrounding, fearful of personal harm to me or my kids. Choosing to always follow to avoid failing. Avoiding others or opportunities felt safer to me than putting myself out there. I assumed the worst. I assumed. There it was. Assumptive Living.
If we go through life assuming we will fail, we will never try. We will never accomplish what we have been called to do. If we assume rejection, we will never have victory or courage to embrace and enjoy meaning relationships and friendships or partnerships in the work place. If we assume someone is always looking to harm us or one of our loved ones, we will never fully appreciate the beauty of God's creation. We will see so narrowly, that we miss the big picture. What kind of life is Assumptive Living? I will tell you. 
It's one thing to assume the worst and plan for the worst verses planning for the worst and hoping for the best. I realize now in hindsight how much anxiety and fear I self-created simply by assuming. How I must have grieved the heart of God with how I lived so wrongly fearful and anxious...never resting in His arms or grasping my identity in His Name. Oh the power I didn't claim, the grace I rejected, the blessings I missed. Something no one else knew, and I didn't even recognize myself back then. Thank God, His mercies are new every morning! Lamentation 3!! Looking back, my identity was not His...
I assumed I wouldn't be successful. Inadequate
I assumed I was making wrong choices. Doubting
I assumed my friend would not like me once they got to know me. Insecure
I assumed everyone else must be right, assuming they must be more intelligent or talented than I. Minimal 
I assumed I was the "lesser than" of the group. Pitiful
I assumed others could do it better, whatever "it" was at the time. Dumb
I assumed my husband would find other women sexier than me. Ugly
I assumed other parents has mastered this thing called parenting. Judgement
I assumed all the other Stay At Home Moms had perfectly cleaned house and dinner prepped for week on Sunday and all their clothes were in their rightful place. Comparison
I just assumed everything, even spiritually....
I assumed God loved me because that is what I had been taught in every church, in every Bible study, at every conference. 
I assumed and hoped He would always be with me. 
I assumed and hoped He would give me Peace when I needed it. 
I assumed and hoped He would be my Rock, my Comfort, my Healer.
Seriously, what a horrible way to live! Assuming everything...not knowing anything except doubt and fear, always hoping for being right. With a smile always on my face, no one could have known, and even today, people don't see the splinters, scars and thorns. Grace, Grace, Amazing Grace!!!! I have learned to receive Grace. I have learned not only Who God is personally, but who that makes me as His child. What an amazing feeling inside your soul when you know that you know. When someone asks you why, and you can confidently give an answer to the hope and the reason of your life.
God, gracious and gentle, looooong suffering over me, for sure, gave me the opportunity to get over living life assumptively. Through a season of panic attacks and anxiety attacks, I had to do some deep heart, soul, mind and spirit searching! 
I assumed I could handle life controlling myself, my circumstances and others. Here is where I learned my assumptions were all wrong. 
I assumed the life I was trying so hard to be perfect at would be the best life. Wrong! My best life has been lived ever since. The best life is living an intentional life!
How great to walk through a day nervous, sure. Feeling a little insecure, sure....yet doing life anyway! I certainly haven't arrived, and I still find thorns to pull out of my flesh at times, but how grateful I am to get the chance to have a do-over in this life! Every day I get to be more intentional! Thank You Lord for being steadfastly intentional for me!!
I know that I know God has a plan to prosper me and not harm me. Jeremiah 29
I know that I know He will never leave me. Deuteronomy 31
I know that I know He forgives me, loves me and hears me. John 3
I know that I know He is the Orchestrator of my life, leading me in my endeavors, my relationships, in my parenting, friendships, service, ministry, etc. Isaiah 40
I know that I know nothing escapes His care or His provision. 
Yes, bad things will still happen this side of eternity, but I know that I know I am Redeemed by the Great I Am. I am protected by The King of Kings. I am not a loss cause. I am not alone. I know that I know He hears my cries and my prayers and rejoices in my accomplishments even if I have failed the 10 times before. 
I know that I know God loves every single one of us and has a divinely great plan for a beautiful life, free of....assumptions!
If this is you too, (I am assuming I am not the only one who has been here), don't assume another day. Live fully, embracing each day's plan and grace for every moment. Be intentional in knowing what it is you need to get your head and heart wrapped around, to bring glory to the One Intentional God. How? Let go of being in control and Trust The Only Faithful and Steadfast One. Surrender your fears and assumptions into Hope Himself. You must be in His Word. You must pray and talk to Him, learning to listen for His voice. How else will you know Him? It was through digging into His Word searching for Him, worshiping Him in truth, not feeling. Praying in petition and in waiting for His response. It was remembering Who was in charge of my life, the comings and goings, the direction and the provision of every day. Calling out to The One I knew heard me, saw me and held me. Knowing in my head the Truth while embracing the Heart of The One who held mine together. It was remembering that God was ultimately in control and I needed to trust Him, loving Him above all else, with all my heart and might.
Life is best lived, intentionally living and loving, giving life and blessings, while receiving life and blessings!! Life is good because God is good! Hallelujah!!!!!
Thank You Lord for intentionally creating the world, and all that is within it, seen and unseen. Thank You for the grace You alone cover us with so that we can work out our insecurities, inadequacies, our callings for Your glory this side of Heaven. May we never assume Your love, mercy, forgiveness, peace, comfort. May we never assume Your grace will run out. Help us in our minds to embrace the knowledge of who You are and help our hearts to grasp how deep and wide Your love for us is. God, we are so sorry for taking the weight of burdens in this life upon our own shoulders. May we call to mind Your love and friendship that are never ceasing. Thank You for Your Word to teach us what we need to know. Thank You for your friendship and Fatherhood that proves it. Thank You Holy Spirit for leading us, encouraging us, prompting us to remember and to worship in truth! You are a great, great God...I know that I know this is true!! Bless Your Holy Name, amen.

Psalm 57, "Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by.  

I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me. He will send from heaven and save me; he will put to shame him who tramples on me.
God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness! My soul is in the midst of lions; I lie down amid fiery beasts-- the children of man, whose teeth are spears and arrows, whose tongues are sharp swords. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens!

Let your glory be over all the earth! They set a net for my steps; my soul was bowed down. They dug a pit in my way, but they have fallen into it themselves.
My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast! I will sing and make melody! Awake, my glory! Awake, O harp and lyre! I will awake the dawn! I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples; I will sing praises to you among the nations. For your steadfast love is great to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens! Let your glory be over all the earth!"

Why Lord?

"Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on GOD who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and He will deliver us. On HIM we have set our HOPE that He will deliver us again. YOU also must HELP US by PRAYER so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the PRAYERS of many." 2 Corinthians 1:9-11

Have you ever felt like you were going die? That your circumstances were so great you thought you were going to die, or maybe you wanted to die? Illness, family crisis, unemployment, loss of a loved one, emotional distress, broken or difficult relationships, physical ailments and extreme anxiety just to name a few of life's heartaches that can drop us quickly to our knees.
We wonder Why Lord? Why is this happening? Does He hear me? Will He help me? How will I make it through this? Satan would like us to feel overwhelmed and feel like we are not in control and headed over a cliff. But, we actually do have control over our mind and heart. We have the choice to sit in despair or set our hope in Him. It is soooo easy to sit in despair, shut down, become self-absorbed and close ourselves off to the outside world. That's exactly what Satan would hope you would do but the Lord is LIFE. Life Who conquers death! AMEN!!! John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. "
When we search the scriptures, we find the steadfastness and faithfulness of God for those who believe and set their eyes on Him. Those who wonder, fear, fail have taken their eyes off Him and went out on their own wisdom. It is important to take time in these moments to give thanks as you remember how the Lord has been faithful in providing deliverance in your own life and even in the life of others that you yourself have witnessed. That doesn't mean every time your life has been perfect, but every time the Lord has provided and rescued you, bringing comfort even amidst the trial.  
The Lord is faithful, He will do it again. This passage gives us two ways we can stand firm and keep our spirits up...1.) Our hope must be set on Him and 2.) we must ask for prayer. We are helped by the prayers of others. They are actual BLESSINGS!!!
Whatever you are facing today, are you relying on yourself or on the God who raises the dead? Have you been lost in despair and lost hope? May these words today set your hope back on Him. May you reach out today and ask for the prayers of many? As much as our journey is personal between us and the Lord, it is part of the working and growing of The Body. As we live life together, we have to be in eachother's lives so that we can be part of the process of healing and hope which ultimately highlights and reflects the glory of our faithful and loving Father.
What do you need prayer for today? Who is God asking you to bless by the offering of your prayers?  

"The LORD is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to Him." Psalm 28:7