Accountability takes guts!!! Do you have it?!?

Accountability takes guts! When someone humbles themselves enough to say, "I can't do this on my own, I need help," that takes guts! What a great ministry to share with someone. It is both a great honor and responsibility we then have to hold them accountable to whatever it is they are asking. It should not be a quick decision on our part to say, "Sure I will be your accountability partner." We must first pray and ask God if it is His plan for you to be the one to hold the accountability with them, just as in every ministry commitment we are presented. If God is not in it, it won't be fruitful and if God is leading them to this place, He has already equipped someone to come alongside them and it may not be you. 
If God confirms His Yes for the new partnership, then sit down together and be open and honest about expectations and boundaries. What is the specific need? How often do they feel they should check in with you or do they expect/hope you will check in on them? What is the time frame which ya'll will commit to in the beginning? What if they have not met the current expectation, do they want a little nudge of encouragement or a big kick-in-the-backside kind of push? Everyone's personalities are different, what works for us doesn't necessarily work for the other person. It's important to have these conversations to thwart any misunderstandings, unmet expectations and to have the greatest benefit in achieving the end result. 
I am soooo thankful for the people God has placed in my life over the years to hold me accountable. God is so good to give us what we need. Several years ago I found myself taking a sort of inventory of my life- where did I spend most of my time, what did I do with my time, who were my friends, who did I trust in my inner circle of friends, what were my goals, what needed to change, where was I headed physically emotionally and spiritually, etc. As I looked at the women God had (and continues to place in my life,) I realized they were all very confident and courageous women, in themselves and in God. It was what they all had in common. They loved God fiercely and without shame, and they were confident and bold women of faith. 
I always had wanted to be more like that but continually found myself hiding behind women like them. But God...He knew my heart's desires and "coincidently" established deep and wonderful friendships with these amazing women of all ages. Oh how I wished I could be more like them even to this day. They say what they mean. They face opposition and temptation with confidence that God is greater than anything they face. Scriptures flows through their innermost being-heart, mind and soul. They pray with diligence and anticipation. These women didn't hide behind anything. It was me who hid behind them! 
Fear of their judgement or potential disappointment kept me from asking for guidance and help. But there came a point in different areas in my life where I had had enough. Enough trying to do "it" on my own. I was sick of failing. It wasn't easy. Humbling yourself also means vulnerability. 
A perfectionist, a shy person, an insecure person, a person who struggles with anxiety/fear, a prideful person, someone who has trust issues because of past betrayals...it takes a lot for them to ask for help because it means they must first break down serious walls to let you in. That was me...all of those at one time in my life, for a greater part of my life actually. I know, many of you who know me today, or who have only known me for the past few years, cannot imagine me being so shy or anxious inside but to God be all the glory! I pray this testimony highlights His grace, redemption and healing. God has worked in my life in my time alone with Him and through the accountability and prayers of others. I trusted God had crossed our paths for such a time as this, and I needed to trust Him with the relationships and process.
That is why it is hugely important to pray about who you ask to hold you accountable because you are giving over to them something that is obviously important to you and you want this to be handled with Christ's care. And if you are the accountability partner, you must bathe them with prayer and interceded on their behalf so Satan doesn't get a foothold during this tender growing and pruning time in their life. 
There is something so precious when God blesses you with friends who share a like-mindedness of faith, beliefs, goals, desires, dreams. You find they are stronger in areas you are weaker and visa versa and you are a source of great encouragement and strength together. "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him--a threefold cord is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:9-12a. And "as iron sharpens iron" Proverbs 27:17, so we do!  
Different friends bring different gifts and blessings into your life. Having friends are important, so is having more than one. I don't think we need an army of them either but we do need a few close to the heart ones. If it is a healthy, God-centered relationship, there is a trust connection that only God can affirm and knit together a natural vulnerability to be who you are, where you are in your life and in that, a natural sense of accountability is understood and welcomed. You don't always have to formally ask. Just in sharing life together, you "encourage and stir one another up" (1 Thess 5:11) knowing where they need encouragement and how to motivate them towards holiness as they also do for you. We remind them about grace as we give them grace. We remind them and teach them how to stay strong as we stand in the trenches with them. We share in their joys and in their sorrows as life happens. Our friendships can be Lighthouses to each other and to a watching world who wonder "how can they be friends?" "how can they be so honest and happy?" "how can they be so trusting or loving or forgiving?" "where did they get their courage?" 

This New Years our family participated in our first 5K Walk, Run, Crawl together. It was a toss up of sleeping in or the race, but that was the very reason we needed to do this...to change things up and start something new. Well, my walking buddy girlfriend had also signed up and we decided in the least, we could manage to crawl it together since our kids would most likely beat us to the finish line by a landslide. Crawling was obviously allowed since it was part of the name! Neither of us had even walked that distance before so it turned into an encouragement-accounatability thing. She joked about finishing a lap and we could veer off course to the nearby beach, or walk home and have a cup of coffee together...tempting for sure, but there was that little thing called accountability that God had woven between us and we would walk it or crawl it to the end! I joked back that I would bring my tether rope and strap us together so if she or I tried to veer off course or slow down the other would be the pull that keeps us moving together on pace. And it was a great visual of walking together in Christ and the accountability we have within The Body. When one is weak, the other can be strong, " For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!" Between us, we will finish "the race." 
I can testify, life isn't always easy but it is true when others notice my "happy", I am happier now in my life than I have ever been before. Not just because I've had great accountability breakthroughs or the fact God has blessed me beyond what I deserve in the Sisterhood department, or that I am living in paradise, or that I am healthy, or that I have a husband and family who love me greatly, believe me, I count my blessings amongst all the trials and bad days...but I am happy and joy-filled because I realize (and am learning to embrace it more confidently) how much I am valued and loved, as John 3:16 says...enough to die for. I believe Jeremiah 29:11 is true for me just like it is true for everybody else. He has a plan, and it is good! I have grown in my faith, trusting God more than I trust myself. When I am weak, the grace of God gives me strength and if I need a little poke or a push, He is faithful to make sure I get it whether I think I need it or not! 
I owe a heartfelt THANK YOU to my Sisters in Christ who share their hearts with me, offering not only sharpening of spirits but also equal vulnerability and trustworthiness. Over the years, some of you have been in the deeper trenches with me and stuck with me till I got through the other side. Others have blessed me with opportunity to simply learn to be a real-goes both ways-friend, living honestly before you, admitting mistakes and weaknesses and receiving grace and sometimes a little push or poke, and yes, even a kick in my backside a few times. I can share struggles as easily as I share my victories without fear of judgement. My life is sweeter because of your love and accountability poured out in my life. Thank you from my heart!!!! ( I would love to scroll through and post some pictures right now and brag on you, but I will let God bless you in a special way!)
I don't know what it is that you are wishing for or possibly needing a breakthrough in your own life but through prayer, seeking God with all your heart, receiving His love for you, and embracing the people God places in your life to help you, you will overcome! There is strength in numbers!! Prepare yourself to do your part and pray for God to do the rest, trusting Him more than you trust yourself.   
"Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. " Romans 12:9-16


(For those wondering...yes, we did finish our first 5k and it was a blast! Walking (life) with a buddy makes it more fun and somehow times goes so much quicker. I find this to be true in most areas of life.)

And to my husband who has put up with me going on 22 years of marriage, thank you and I love you for putting up with all my quirks!! Thank you for encouraging my time spent in my relationships with so many amazing women and women's ministry events over the years. I am definitely a better wife to you because of their wisdom and examples shared and prayers lifted on my/our behalf!   
  

Yes, I do! How can you not?!?

Our church is currently going through a series about the local church, the importance of it, the structure, the value and ultimately, the glory of God and the fullness of God (Eph 3:21). I had sat next to one of my friends named Jennifer and another dear friend who's name is also Jennifer sat down on the other side of me. She said, "You are the middle of a Jennifer Sandwich!" I hadn't realized it till she said it and of course, it made me laugh. Then, throughout the sermon, in the back of my mind I was still giggling about being between these two awesome Jennifers. These girls have been such dear friends of mine for many, many years now and I am so grateful for their friendships, and their prayers. I have been blessed with several of these true and special Sisters in Christ and enjoy all the many hugs and prayers from so many each week, all from my local church!! When I miss for a very random and rare reason, I really miss it!!! God uses us to encourage each other, not just Ina  emotionally way, but spiritually!! I certainly count my blessings for the richness of a heart overflowing with thankfulness! 
We have attended this church since before the doors opened over 11 years ago so it is a very comfortable place. It's our home church. It's where we feel cared for, accounted for and a safe place to spread our wings and learn to fly (Isaiah) in the places of ministry God has called us within the church. Our Pastor will lay it all out and provide many scriptures about the local church, but as I sit here reflecting on MY local church, from my point of view, I don't don't know how someone can NOT be a part of a local church. I seriously don't know what I would do without mine! I am blessed with a great family but my church family has to "live" with me week after week. 
I know he mentioned tonight that we don't join a church for how they will serve you, but that you go where God has a harvest for you to serve, and I agree. But let me tell you...what a blessing He gives when we serve in His name, in the place He has sent you!! When we are where we are supposed to be, our hearts grow fuller and out of that we fill others, all to the glory of God. 
We are to encourage one another and love one another! It's been a joy to do this for others as I serve, but to also be on the receiving end is what makes life so much sweeter, and do-able! My church is where I feel "covered." My church is my "go to" in times of trial and a place of celebration in life's victories. My church is a training ground where I get to stretch and strengthen my spiritual muscles. My church is where my prayers and worship goes deeper and wider. My church is where my journey with the Lord "straightens out."  I rely on the accountability and the teaching and the love of my local church to help me to grow in the understanding and knowledge of Christ so that I can receive His love and therefore share it with others, ultimately giving to God the glory, while enjoying the "fullness of God."
So, I don't know if you are part of a local church, but I don't know how you can't be. We need each other! If you are waiting for "the perfect church," stop looking because there isn't one, and it's not really about you eventhough you will reap the blessings of fellowship with the Body, it's about the Lord! 
If you're reading this and you feel alone, I challenge you to look within your own heart and ask yourself honestly if you are sharing it with others. When we keep a wall of protection or pride or pity, bitterness or doubt around our heart, it neither gives well or receives well.  I know this from my own cautious life. When our hearts are full, (Deut 6:5, 10:12) it flows in each direction!! Up-Down-Out-Across!!! Start with loving The Lord and being loved by Him and I can promise you that your life will be full in the goodness of God and He will draw you to others to share this love with and highlight His very sweet love!!!!
Okay, rant over!!...now if you want all the "church" teachings-stay tuned to the upcoming series!!! How can you not?!?

My Mentored Heart

This week, I got to enjoy extra time with two of my AMAZING mentors/friends/accountability partners...my Sisters in Christ. I wonder if I could ever get them all together, not sure my heart could take that much JOY...or possible "loving correction!" (heehee) I am BLESSED to have mentors in my life such as these Godly, Beautiful Women. A mentor is different than a friend. Over the years, God has given me the gift of some very precious friends who's seasons and purposes have been all very different. A mentor however is one God places in your life with intention to "mentor." Webster's defines mentor : a trusted counselor, guide, tutor, coach. You can only imagine what a rare GIFT it is when a mentor is also a friend. That is the case with these women, they have mentored me for several years while also being dear Sisters in Christ. 

There was a time in my life that I didn't even have one and for no other reason than my own "fear" and "trust" issues. Betrayals, feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, fear of judgement, even hopelessness for something better, can keep someone isolated into their own safe, self-contained, lonely bubble. There was a time that was me. Very guarded, very anxious, very limited, very self-controlled, very afraid to be seen. Happy on the outside, scared on the inside. 
Thinking I had to represent Christ in my life by seeming "perfect", it only deepened my isolating self. I hid the real me behind a mask of perfection. It was exhausting but knowing how imperfect I was, I felt I had no other choice than to at least wear the mask! With God's peace, should I complain or worry or have trials, surely not. Otherwise, it says I am sinning against God for everything would be perfect in my life and self, right?! So who in their right mind would admit something was wrong?!?! And I knew I certainly was NOT perfect. I tried till it nearly broke me. Oh, how clever is Satan. He is a deceiver and a liar. 

When the huge 2008 crisis hit, thankfully God had already placed in my life a few Godly women who I could literally fall on. It was up to me to trust them with what was shattered pieces of my heart, mind and spirit. I claimed desperately, Philippians 4:13, knowing I could do all things He asked of me. I chose to trust God with the provisions of help (aka: friendship, counsel and mentor) and I allowed myself to open a tiny space more to let Love come in, and really, it wasn't because I necessarily wanted them in my business, seeing all my imperfections, I knew I needed them in my business. 

What began as a slow trickle of love flowing in, now is an ocean's full!! God has been more than gracious and more merciful than I deserve. There came a place where I couldn't handle "life" on my own. Of course, I have a loving husband and loving family and a great church family had I chosen to let them in, but it was more than I could bear and for these that were close and involved, it was a crisis they too had to endure with me. They needed encouragement I couldn't give and I needed encouragement they couldn't give. We needed more. 

God made it clear that it was time for a new season. It was time for the old to go and the new to come!! I thought I was okay with my "old" until the "new" came. What a DELIGHT!!!! I realized alone I was weak, I was vulnerable. I prayed and asked for rescue and He sent me some! (I am sure I don't need to say it, but I will incase someone reading this doesn't know this: I am assuming we all understand that with God, we are never alone and He is our strength and yes, He is all we need; however, He calls us to live and love one another, confessing our sins to one another, trusting Him ultimately as our provision in which comes all other fleshly provisions....just wanted to make sure we all knew that!) 

Desiring a closer walk with Him, I have learned how to trust GOD fully and allow in what HE wants in. Walls had to come down and these women have had their faithful work gloves on for a few years now, not giving up on me! What a reflection of Christ's Love for us, taking us as we are and yet not leaving us as we are. He has brought these humble, God-fearing women into my life to encourage me, teach me, streeeetch my dorky, quirky, shy self, and boy have I been BLESSED!! Aside from enjoying the GIFTS they are to me, the eternal seeds invested in me have gone further than I could have imagined!! I know these seeds will impact generations, as they already have begun to! 

Today, I love the Lord more intimately, with an open heart, with more confidence and my life has most definitely changed. Who I am, how I approach life, my marriage, how I parent my 4 children, how I handle trials, guarding my relationship with the Lord, my prayer life, my choices, where I spend my energy and time are all direct reflections to the intentional mentoring I have received and from the faithfulness of sweet friends. (Just thinking it sure takes a lot of people to get me where I am today between loving family, church family, friends, mentors...it's okay, I will take all the help I can get!!!) I am no longer satisfied being left alone to work things out....I need the hands and feet of God to help me work things out. Thank God for the Holy Spirit and Proverbs 27:17 Holy Friends:)

While I don't wish for that season of "hell" to have come into my life, it was the price I had to pay for the relationship and life I now have in Christ. It was what broke me and built me new. I am not weak after all.... I am strong. Wouldn't trade it for anything. The freedom I have in Christ today is a direct result of choosing Life and Love in Christ Jesus. I will be the first to admit that I am NOT perfect. Truth is, it's okay, neither are you, or him, or her. I don't even try to appear perfect. My goal is to have such a deep love with God that He lights up my darkness and others can see the Light of Him through my life, mistakes and victories alike. His blood redeems and forgives. His blood covers my imperfections to highlight His perfections. His grace is enough. To hear Him, to see His Word come alive, how can you not smile and get the cheeks so sore from smiling so big?!? I am continually amazed at our Awe-some God. People comment often about my smiling, and that's exactly why I can smile even on the worst of days. My heart may grieve but my spirit rejoices knowing God is near and He sees me and still loves me so. 

My value and my hope for something better has been found in Christ alone! I once saw the world and "love" through the scope of a straw compared to today, as I view life through a panoramic widescreen lens!! I can walk through the valley and not fear, cuz I trust my Shepherd. I can share my heart with another without fear of judgement knowing it is Satan that is the one who should be fearing his judgement. God opened His heart to us and is asking that we open our heart to Him. 

We say trust Him, but at the same time, if you don't know about Him, how can you trust Him. The more you know about a person, God or friend, the more you see their heart and know they are trustworthy, with history proving their loyalty and faithfulness. is why I have come to crave The Word of God and living life alongside and loving others. There is nothing more satisfying than feasting on The Bread of Life and drinking the Living Water, especially with others who do too!!! Your heart opens wider the more you trust. How big is your heart?

"In the BEGINNING God created the heavens and the earth," He has a plan and while your world may seem like your own, really, you are part of a master plan! You were created for this time, for His glory. You must be in The Word to know of Him. You must walk with Him to know Him. He is not a distant God, He is with you and He will send you people: mentors, friends and even enemies to grow you closer to Him. You must choose to receive His enduring and faithful Love offering. Once you do, watch out!! (Romans 8:31-39) Be ready for abundant LOVE-JOY to fill your soul, of which you must also guard against the one who comes to seek and destroy it!! Steal a person's joy and you steal their heart. 

Do you feel alone? Do you feel like anyone has your back? Who is in your life you KNOW God has them there to push through some of your walls, but you don't trust them enough to let them in? TRUST GOD and if you don't truly trust Him, GET IN THE WORD!! Find someone immediately that does and get the accountability to find a mentor who knows The Word and has a heart that loves and fears God and start walking a life of love, hope and faith in Truth! Not in your ability but in the strength of Christ! His blood IS your VICTORY!!! What a sacrifice that saved my life, yes the Blood it is my victory!!!!!! If you say yes, it is yours too!!!

He will send you peace and strength through the hands and feet of others. We are all parts of one Body. Pray and ask God to affirm their place in your life, for whatever way and whatever season He has planned. Not everyone is meant to tear down your walls. Some help you see them. Others help you break them. Some keep you from rebuilding. Tis a season for everything under Heaven! Satan would like nothing more than for you to stay hidden, cut off from the Body. You're less likely to grow. Step forward in faith. Yes, you do take a chance of being hurt, but do you trust God that everything happens for a reason, He has your good in mind and that His grace and love for you is GREATER than any hurt you could ever feel?! Surround yourself by those who Love the Lord their God with ALL their heart, soul and might, who's desire to honor and please Him above all others! Theirs is a heart you can trust with yours!! 

Reflection: How much do you trust God? How well do you know of Him? Do you know Him personally that you can feel His presence near? Do you need to open up the floodgates for your heart to be filled? Are you walking in victory or defeat? Are you being real/honest with yourself? Are you trying to be something other than you? Who in your life would God be calling YOU to mentor, guide, coach or simply be a friend who walks life's paths with? 

This blog entry is long enough, and I could go on so much further and deeper and wider, but I must wrap this up! This began as a Facebook post of thankfulness for extra time spent with precious women this week and I figured once I got to 3 paragraphs, I had gone past my Facebook code of conduct and shifted over to the blog where I have freedom to write as much as my heart spills out! Hope you have been encouraged in some way and gotten to know me a little better in the process!!! HUGS and LOVE!!!

Uphill vs Downhill

Imagine you are out riding your bike and then you notice in the distance a slight change in the elevation and it's taking you UPHILL? For the moment it seems thrilling as you continue pedaling along and begin the climb UPHILL...only to be at a near stop half way up!! You don't have momentum to get up top the topside. So, you stop to catch your breath and then as you push off to go, you find yourself actually sliding backwards. I wish I hadn't of stopped!!!! Now, I am not only back where I started but I'm exhausted and still need to find the energy to get UP that HILL!! The Good News is I now know what I need to do to get over that hill to the other side!! Here I go...digging deep...pushing off...digging deeper...pushing through the pain...seeing the top!!!! At the top!!!! Yay!! Now, to coast downhill and catch my breath. What a feeling of freedom to now be flying DOWNHILL!! (The only time I think the phase "headed downhill" is a good one~LOL!) (I also can't help but thinking about my 15 year old as he learns how to drive his manuel-drive Jeep uphill!!! We certainly avoid whatever hills we can!! LOL!!!)

What was the key to getting UPHILL? Awareness. Awareness that there was a hill coming. Awareness that momentum was necessary to get up there. Awareness that it will take extra effort but the other side will be one of freedom. Do not stop...it's much harder to keep going if you stop. You may just have to dig deep and start over, taking with you the Good News of The Way to get to the other side.

We don't know what our future holds. "Hills" for us can be right around the corner while sometimes they can be seen in the distance. What we need is the awareness that "hills" will come and since we don't always know when they will be upon us, we must keep our momentum. If we are idling along, odds are we won't make it up that hill. We need to dig deep, daily, consistently, always ready to get up and over those "hills." Some may be higher than others, and some may be enough to jump over, but one thing is for sure, you must be ready!

Are you gaining momentum today for your next "hill?" What are you doing today to be ready? How are you "digging deep?" 

Or are you stopped on your "hill," sliding backwards? How can you "dig deep" and gain that momentum to get UPHILL?

No matter who you are, how long you have been a Believer in Jesus Christ, we ALL need our Daily Bread. We ALL need to find our momentum,  that "digging deep," into The Lord as we find strength and endurance up and over our "hills." Taking with us The Good News that God has gone before us and knowing we can get over that 'hill" infront of us if we trust Him and don't stop!!!

Here are some ways I personally am digging deep in this season in my life...hope it encourages you to find how God would prompt you to dig deep to get up your "hills."

 * Start before my feet hit floor and End my day in prayer...adoration, confession, intercession for self/others, protection. When you "pray without ceasing", it is constant communication throughout the day, so here and there, I'm asking for awareness. But there are also times where it is necessary to stop and pray as the Holy Spirit leads...especially in warfare.

  * Being in The Word DAILY is crucial!! "For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart" Hebrews 4:12...on my own, I am weak!

  * Accountability. I LOVE women's bible studies. Not only is there teaching from those who have been gifted with teaching the wisdom of the Word, but you also find accountability within the group. Love that!! You won't likely find yourself idling by...as "iron sharpens iron" you find that momenteum.

  * I cannot stop! It is obvious if I miss a study day or if I go with how I am feeling, cuz there are plenty of days I feel like being idle. Digging deep is not easy. It takes strength and endurance which on my own, I don't have. I will slide back. Thankful that when I do slide back, I can repent and start again, knowing The Good News!!

  * Remembering that I am not alone on the "hills." Everyone has hills. Also, I cannot compare or whine about who's hill is greater or lesser. I need to dig deep, gain my own momentum and quit worrying about everyone else. I am encouraged when I see others around me digging deep to get up their "hill" and that pushes me to dig deeper too!

  * Do not fear!!! Be aware of idling and idoling!! Be ready to battle! Be in the Word. Be aware of "elevation" changes. Don't fear or grow weary about the climb up. If you have already gained momentum, you will get up it quicker and with less pain. Get up. Get over. Enjoy the freedom headed down on the other side.

"And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, 

encourage the fainthearted, 

help the weak, 

be patient with them all." I Thess 5:14

Friend, your first hill needs to be the Hill of Calvary. God loved you so much, He knows the hills you need to get over, and He made a way for you through the Gift of His Son. Get yourself up on that Hill and get the gift of Life. See the Blood that He dug so deep. Then, find yourself on the other side of that Hill where Freedom is. He is alive and risen so that you may have life abundantly! There is Hope. There is Peace. There is Strength. There is Endurance.

Good News is found Uphill and Freedom is found Downhill!

SURFS UP!!! Are you protected?

"What happened?" "Did something happen with one of the kids?" "What set you off?!?"

These were the questions several of you were sweet and curious enough to ask after a recent Facebook post about "Issues." For those who did not see it, here's the post:

SOOOOO hard to let go of your children, even when you trust God and know God is in control!!! I know I have peers and younger ones on my Facebook, so I will say this to both:

Parent to Parent: PLEASE CHECK YOUR KIDS PHONES AND EMAILS AND FBK MESSAGES!!!! Yes, takes extra time and they may not like it, but it's important for them to know they are still under your accountability and authority and i

t's our responsibility to set boundaries and correct bad choices. Don't put your child's friend in the position to have to go tell a parent! Every Parent should already know!!! Be in their DIGITAL WORLD and ask about what they've seen and heard each day.
Grieves my heart to hear what goes on even in JUNIOR HIGH!!! Makes me struggle with "control" and letting them go. Phil 4:13, trusting He is in control!!!
Blogging about DIGITAL Parental Controls tomorrow!! Then hopefully Thursday, SPIRITUAL Parent Controls. Parents, we need each other!!! Where two or more are gathered...!

Teens: PLEASE REMEMBER THAT DIGITAL FOOTPRINTS ARE PERMANENT!!!! In these days, what you put out there can instantly be shared with all the world!!! Everything done in darkness will come to Light! If you want someone to tell you you're beautiful/handsome and worthy, give yourself to GOD, not immature boys/girls! You're value and image is reflected in Christ! Hold on to it and guard it!! You are wonderfully made and created for a purpose!!!!! You don't deserve anything less than what God has planned for you!!! If someone wants a piece of you, make them go through your Abba Daddy to get to you!!!! Christians, hold each other accountable!! Help each other be pure and strong!!! Where two or more are gathered....Honor your Father!!

And there it is....yep, I was at the end of my rope with EVERYTHING!!! Ever have one of these kid of days...or weeks...inside-out and backwards!

Well, I was! No matter what I did right it only seemed that 2 things would go wrong. One step forward and two steps back, so it seemed. Just a "toss in the towel" week, or two actually.

Without getting into specifics about who and what, I will share my "issue." Bottom line is technology can be very dangerous. I cannot believe these words are about to come out of my mouth (I'm actually old enough to say it-wow), but BACK IN MY DAY, there weren't computers in the home that could access something called the internet and there weren't cell phone that not only will allow you to talk to anyone, anywhere and even via live stream but they can also access anything you could could possibly want in the world...any item, any information. 

Just like anything, there is a choice...it is a choice you have to make cuz these things in of themselves are not evil but we choose to use them for good or evil. I receive inbox messages often from others thanking me for the encouraging words shared on Facebook while so many others spew hatred or junk out there. I choose to use my life and the resources God has given me to bless, not curse. Not bragging but sharing the strength and joy that comes from having a personal relationship with Christ and choosing to live a life, best as this sinner is able, to honor Him. 

With the privileges we all have with things (fame, money, technology, etc) there comes with it responsibility to use it responsibly and for the Christian-respectfully and honoring Christ. We have the choice to use our things for good or evil, and it is our responsibility to set up whatever boundaries necessary to make sure we do. If we struggle with overeating, we should stay away from buffets. If we struggle with alcohol, we should stay away from environments or people who drink. If we gamble, we should stay away from money-pits. If we struggle with purity, we should have major filters on our "media." Whatever our vice, we need accountability and filters!

This brings me back to my post! DIGITAL Parental Controls! WE...THE PARENTS...MUST put them on EVERYTHING!!! I didn't even realize what was out there and what all my different gadgets could do. The Wii, PS3, Desktop and IPhones/Cells all have access to the internet. Unless you put up blocks or filters, they can look up anything!!!! Stuff you don't want them to see. While there is a ton of awesome uses for the internet, we need to set those guards up so our kids are only able to be in the "safety zone."

I am shocked at the things I see on the Internet with teens pictures! And it's not just the girls!!! Guys are flexing and showing undergarmets too, all talking about their weekend happenings. Are there really that many parties going on out there?!? And the things texted, wow! Conversations these days progress faster than "back in my day." I always wonder what the parent would do if they actually saw or read what their child had just posted or sent. When my kids come home and tell me what they've seen, I immediately say a prayer for the parent to please find out. I too want to know what my kids are up to. It should not be up to another child to report the misuse of media to their friend's parent. I doubt anyone would ever actually do that.

What if every parent were active in their own kids phones/computers? What if there were filters in place that prevented adult content to leak out into our kid's worlds, even for us adults who struggle with our own purity temptations. There is much that NO ONE needs to see. We shared a statistic in our SS Class a few weeks ago that the Pornography Industry profits more than all the Sporting Industries combined!! That's a LOT!! And we wonder why many marriages are being destroyed, sex-trafficking is on the rise and why it's so hard to find a show or movie that is void of sexual content!

So, I am a Mom on Mission to protect the Digital purity of my home, that includes my husband and I, our children, as well as any guests that come into our home. While we cannot protect them at every turn, and I wish I could force filters out to everyone under the age of 18, we have the responsibility and ability to do what we can. Filtering 75% is better than 0%. (Yes there are the legal warnings that you must be 18 or older, but what good is that if the child has the password!?!)

I am in the process of learning myself what our legal and moral consequences/responsibilities are, I hope to put together a little workshop for parents but I wanted to put a feeler out there and see if anyone would even be interested in digging in, getting the information and having accountability with it. If so, please email me.

Meanwhile...for you ITunes people...did you know that Apps and ITunes have ratings?!?! I had no clue! I have officially removed YouTube, ITunes and App Store from all the cells. If we want to see something on there, it can be done at home on the desktop where there is accountability and a history. If someone wants to make a purchase, it must go through Mom or Dad since only we know the password (for every device!!!) and all purchases can be seen on the ITunes desktop. Even if a purchase isn't made, scrolling aimlessly through the App store can be dangerous too, just reading about all the apps with MA ratings and seeing the promo pictures is too much for little eyes.

So, I challenge and encourage you to take charge for the DIGITAL purity in YOUR OWN home!!!! No, your kids will probably not like it cuz like we already established, there is some good and they may simply be having fun, but it only takes a spark to get a fire going! If you or your spouse are the ones who struggle with DIGITAL purity, then change the passwords, put on stricter filters, get accountability and counsel and pray, pray, pray!!!! There is nothing God cannot free you from.

I am eager to learn what I can to clean my home from the inside out!! Remember that it is your responsibility to clean yours!!!! To GOD be the glory in every digit of our world.

*EMAIL me if you'd want to take a class from me which would be basics on what I will have learned and implemented in my own home. SURFS UP!!! 

Michele

happymomfour@comcast.net