"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."
2 Corinthinas 4:16-18
Welcome back. I sit here almost comically laughing at the fact I am still dealing with my pitiful body (and attitude, if I must be honest.) Never would I have guessed a puddle of water could reek such havoc in my life. My neck and knees continue to bother me four months in. When my knee went out, the rest of my body carried the burden. What a blessing that it could or I would not have been able to walk and gotten things done. Just as I mentioned in the previous blog, how humbling and convicting to remember that my choices, other peoples choices, impact those around you.
Even though this has been the most physically challenging season for me, don't ya know God has plans in it for my good! I am reminded of 2 things: 1.) We need each other and cannot live this life self-reliant; 2.) What we do impacts those around us, for good or bad. We are all connected in the Body and when one part hurts, we all feel the impact.
Not able to bear weight on the injured knee, my right knee took on the extra weight with every impact. Getting out of a chair (or off the toilet as a matter of fact) was one of the hardest things (and remains a challenge), trying to stand up basically one legged. Getting off the floor? Forget it! Friends and family around me have helped me in practical ways more in the past several months that the last years combined. I am a Do-er by nature so this has been a hard pill to swallow.
Sadly, after almost 4 weeks of going the extra miles, that burden carrying knee gave out. It has carried the extra weight as long as it could. It was injured nearly to the point of my original "soccer knee." I sit here with a neck burdened, hips aching and now two knees full of fluid...and a heart frustrated, exhausted and a soul searching for the purpose in all this mess. My poor husband and kids, while it has been a good opportunity for me to take a step back and let them Do a little more, they miss the part of me that engages with them as we Do together. How much longer Lord?! We ALL want to know.
While there are many layers to this season of rest, pressing onward, letting go, trusting, waiting, sharing, believing and pure exhaustion, they can be summed up within these two lessons:
1. ) We need each other and are not meant to be self-reliant. Our choices in life affect those around us, for the better or the worst. The Lord tells us there will be trials and seasons of hardship and we expect those. Even in the toughest of times, God has a plan and purpose and He calls us to share the burdens with each other as we cast them also on Him. For those of us who are Servers in the Kingdom, these are really tough seasons as we face limitations to what we can do. God knows this and as someone who has been a Server for many years, I have come to recognize seasons in my life God reverses the flow of out pouring and I become the receiver, inevitably giving others an opportunity to serve me, or on my behalf. It is not easy or comfortable. Every time I am in this place, I learn better how to appreciate it as I count down to the day it's over with. Here in the receiving times, I am refreshed and humbled. I appreciate the hearts of those stepping up to help carry the temporary burden.
"So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy,
complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."
Philippians 2:1-4
2.) What we do impacts those around us, for good or bad. We are all connected in the Body and when one sheds tears either of joy or sorrow, we share the tears. The Scriptures of full of instructions to guard the tongue, love one another, share burdens, give, pray, believe, confess, repent, feed, hope, sacrifice, bless, encourage and rest.
I never thought my hurt knees would impact my family as it has. My mind and body are physically drained which drains the brain, interrupts routines and hinders opportunities. Staying at an exhausted level makes for little or labored process from all the normal things in life. I have to have help getting most things done. Nothing happens quickly anymore. Some things don't even happen. I miss the little things like cuddling with my little ones in my comfy chair on the patio as they wiggle around laughing or sharing about their day. I miss being able to chase them around the house to tickle them down when they need a good soul boost! I miss a lot of things while other things just have to be done differently.
Days my pain levels are increased, my focus, energy, joy, mercy, grace and compassion decrease. Does anyone else get this way? My pain becomes everyone's pain even though I do my best to "suck it up buttercup." We live together, so we impact one another whether it's intentional or not. As an Encourager, it makes me sad to not be able to serve like I love to serve. On the good days the joy flows, energy soars and laundry gets done! Praise God for those days!!
Thankfully God has granted my family grace to carry the extra burden and as time goes by, healing washes over my body as waves lap the shoreline. I am honored and blessed they help me like they do, not to say there haven't been eye-rolling and a few huffs at times. We just don't realize the impact our stuff has on those around us. This is true with all our choices, sinful or every day stuff, our blessings and our burdens. We impact and influence our environment and those in it.
In Burdens:
Something so simple as the one who took the last square of toilet paper and didn't replace it, or left the milk out all day, or forgot to turn off the hose or bring in the wet towel from the car, ask them. It mattered.
For the one addicted to drugs or alcohol and doesn't think their spouse is impacted, ask them. It does.
For the husband who says his pornography doesn't impact his wife or family, ask them. It does.
For the one who is lazy and assumes others will pick up the slack and not think twice about it, ask them. It does.
For the one who demands their way as the way it has to be, ask them. It does.
For the one who abuses their authority, ask them. It does.
For the one who yells and curses, ask them. It does.
For the one burdened with guilt, shame, fear, insecurity, ask them. It does.
For the one caring for a physically or mentally challenged family member, ask them. It does.
For the one suffering physical attacks on their body, ask them. It does.
For the one persecuted for their faith, ask them. It does.
The burden we bear and the burden we cause, affect those around us even when we don't think it does.
In Blessings:
For the one who bless their spouse with loving care, consideration and help, ask them. It does.
For the kids who's parent help them, pray for them, ask them. It does.
For the friend receiving our prayers, encouragement and support, ask them. It does.
For the ones we honor and salute their sacrifice, ask them. It does.
For the hurting friend who we simply hug or share a cup of coffee, ask them. It matters.
For the one hungry and we feed them, ask them. It does.
For the hopeless one to realize they have Hope in a Savior, ask them. It does.
For the ones in authority to honor the law and Lord, ask them. It does.
For the one who realized they once were lost, but now have been found, ask them. It does.
For the one afflicted in the flesh, but consoled by The Healer, ask them. It does.
For the ones we shared our testimony with, and have restored faith, ask them. It mattered.
The blessings we give and the ones we receive, carry an eternal weight of glory we cannot imagine this side of Heaven.
Our lives are an intricate balance of burdens carried and burdens lifted as we strive to both give and receive in this world, working together for a common good in humility, honor, submitting ourselves to the cause of Christ over our agenda and purpose. There is a season for everything and our response to those seasons are crucial to the Kingdom of Grace.
Your life has an eternal weight, today. Today, we are healing, growing, breaking down while building up. Wherever God has you, may Love be our motive, help, healing, focus, redemption, strength, hope and cause.
For the one caught up in sin, yes, it is hurting you and yes, it is hurting those around you. Ask them. It does. But praise God Almighty, His blood is thick and fresh enough to cover all your sins and cast them far off, to mend your broken places and restore you to the plans and purpose He has created you for.
For you bearing the burden of another, bless your heart for the love you are showing in Jesus' Name. May He continue to grant you compassion and empathy for them. He is faithful to sustain you in your care for them. Be careful though, you do not bear more than you ought and get in the way of what God may be doing in their life. Us Encouragers and Peace Makers have a tendency to enable. You will end up hurting yourself in the process and healing will take longer for the both of you, extending the burden further to others.
For the one with the thorn in your flesh, remember for everything there is a season and God's grace will be enough to sustain you during this down time. Be willing to allow others to minister to you or on your behalf as hard as that might be. Check your pride and stubbornness at the back gate and come rest. Honestly, if you're thinking the world won't be able to function without your help, well, God was big enough to build it, He can manage it in your absence.
"So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me.
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
2 Corinthians 12:8-10
His big brother was born May 1997. Pregnant with hopeful baby #2, I miscarried. Surprisingly, a few months later I found myself expecting once again. At 16 weeks, I began having contractions. It turned out that my hormone levels from the miscarriage a few months prior had not return to normal so my body thought it was further along than it actually was. (My body liked being pregnant as much as I did.) I was sent home with a monitor that measured my contractions and was placed on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy. A handful of times I was sent back to the hospital for an overnight observation due to high numbers and intensity. Thankfully, prayers were heard and God carried us through week by week.
Contractions continued throughout the entire pregnancy but so did our prayers and faith. 
In our family, he is our Cody-Bug. We love him sooo much! He loves people, reading, theatre, making people laugh, brainstorming, loves mind puzzles and a good debate, is creative, enjoys playing and having fun, loves his family, seeks the best in others, offers a helping hand at the first sign of there being a need and has great compassion for others. He is also an animal lover and sugar lover like his Mama. His greatest love is the Lord! He is SCUBA and has played every sport out there I think, with golf and tennis his favorites. 
I could only dream of having his energy, creativity and intelligence. His big brother loves him even though he annoys him often with his big dramatic moments and his little brother and sister love playing with him. Where Cody is, the party is!! He's a party in one!!!! I could write story upon story about life with him but there isn't enough time to share all the fun memories he has created!! 
Happy bday big boy!!!! May you never loose faith, love or laughter! Keep Christ first always!!! Love you so very much!!!! ~Mom 
