Falling Apart

"We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies....

For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God. 

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." 

2 Corinthians 4:8-10,15-18

My word these verses are real to me today as I sit here with an ice pack on both my knees, my neck, my collarbone, and my shoulder. It might have been easier to just dump 20 bags of ice into the tub, throw on the bathing suit and take a plunge than trying to balance all these bags! Seriously, what a hot mess...or chilly mess I guess. (Sorry, had to.)
I bet you are wondering what happened...must have been a car accident right? Or a fall from the ladder? Something to impact nearly my whole body. June 3rd, I was shopping at my grocery store and encountered a puddle of water I did not see until I slipped and turned to see what had caused my Bambi Moment. A 4" puddle. Only a few hours later, my calf, hamstring, neck, shoulders, back, arch of left foot, left hand all ached. You wouldn't think this required much healing time but after 3 months of physical therapy to deal mostly with the upper back and neck muscles, my blood pressure starting spiking dangerously high during therapy. (The exhausting list grows.) She stopped therapy till an MRI could be done. A week into the process, my knee took a hit because of the weakening of the first twist.
Not able to lift heavy objects above a certain level, I take my kids with me to the store to help with the gallon milks and water packs. My daughter placed the 32 pack on the bottom of the cart all by her 11 year old self but it was really heavy for her too. The bulk hung over the edge of the cart a few inches and knowing I couldn't push it back without killing my neck, I attempted to push it back sideways with my foot, much like a soccer ball pass (I suppose that is why the Doctor calls it my Soccer Knee.) Unable to push it back, we both knelt down and slide it back. Months ago, none of this would have even been an issue for me to handle alone. I am not a tiny girl and am thankful to have been in decent shape physically over the years to be able to tackle big projects. How humbling to not be able to lift a gallon of milk over 12" into a cart without pain in my neck and collar bone. I could go on a pity tangent and share all the every day things I still have a hard time with lifting and weighted things like laundry, yard work and mopping and obviously grocery shopping...but I won't. I know there are those of you dealing with much more intense ailments and my heart sincerely goes out to you. Stay strong and don't give up! Praise God there is more to this life than this body!! 
That evening I was getting into bed for the night and my knee felt squishy when I bent it. I knew I had stressed it on the water bottles, but I didn't think much about it. I was still icing my neck, and now I had an ice pack for my knee. R.I.C.E. once again for the hurting body part, another delay in the day, which turned into days upon days. Had an X-ray which led to the MRI of the knee (the neck is jealous) and now we know we have a sprained MCL and fluid, along with some degeneration that will have to be addressed. 
I cannot bear full weight on my left knee and stairs are painfully painful and exhausting. I walk with a limp and a hobble although some days I can hide it better than others. Here I am now nearly 6 weeks into this knee recovery and my body is feeling weak and exasperated. Because of the "soccer" knee, every other muscle in my body has had to temporarily compensate, carrying the burden of the inability of my injured knee to function. I feel muscles pull and stress that I never even knew I had! 
Even though this has been the most physically challenging season for me, don't ya know God has plans in it for my good! I am reminded of 2 things: 1.) we need each other and cannot live this life self-reliant; 2.) what we do impacts those around us, for good or bad. We are all connected in the Body and when one part hurts, we all feel the impact. For someone who is strong-willed and finds great joy in hospitality and encouraging others, it is very difficult for me to receive help, and yet this is something God continues to remind me of when I return to old habits and become self-reliant. I have no problem with teamwork. I have a problem with the team working for me! Big difference. I like to serve, not be served. But then God sets me up to re-learn this lesson once again...you are not supposed to do life independently. While we must not be dependent on others to meet our needs as only God can, God uses others to meet needs we didn't even know we had.
When my knee went out, the rest of my body carried the burden. What a blessing that it could or I would not have been able to walk and gotten things done. How humbling and convicting to remember that my choices, other peoples choices, impact those around you.
In the next blog, I will be discussing these impacts. I hope you will join me back here if this struck home with you as something you have struggled with yourself...not a knee injury, although bless your heart if you have, but the impact our "hurts" or the hurts of others, have on us that we may not even realize. See you soon! 
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison! Blessings, Grace and Strength, 
Michele 

Worship here: 

Finding Jesus on the outside of your book!

It's that time of year again! Time to join the next Bible Study. Women's Bible studies have been a part of my journey for many, many, many years and anticipation grows with each one. Oh the joy of knowing something great is going to happen in the heavenly world we live in and the one we can touch and feel here. 
Week by week, new friendships are established and old ones strengthen, minds are blown at new truths learned and hearts softened and God's healing balm binds our wounds. Our spirits rejoice at the gathering, can you even imagine what He must feel when His children come to Him and ask for His love, assurance, direction and courage, peace and healing, wisdom and hope!?! We come feeling inadequate but eager to know our Father Better. You know He must leap off the Throne and smile! Do you think He exclaims HALLELUJAH!?! I bet He does!
Today, our small group gathered for our first day of Entrusted. As I prayed over our gathering time, God opened my eyes to something I hadn't really thought of and I shared it with the ladies, and I would like to share it with you too for the sake of deeper and wider growth as we enter in.
When we join a study and face the soul-searching, Scripture-homework, the tough questions, learning about God, learning about ourselves, we are seeking something more. More of what though? More than what we have. This week, God opened my eyes to look beyond the workbook itself. To see more than the Q&A's being asked of me. What happens on the outside of the book is just as important as what happens on the inside. Both have direct impacts on heart change. I have never focused on what happens on the outside of the covers of these books. Reflecting back, I see what He is talking about. 
Take the workbook away and ask a group of women to set aside 45 minutes of uninterrupted time every day to pray and worship and then a 2 hour time away to talk every week about their experiences, for 8 weeks and you've already seen a miracle! Then, we add into these moments, actual heart-work. Some chiseling and others mending work. It is exhausting and exhilarating at the same time. 
There is nothing like it when we intentionally get on the same page as God, with our Sisters. We grow in unique ways, one of which is accountability. When we join a study with other women, we are saying I don't want to do this alone, I want you to do it with me. We are committing ourselves as much to each other as we are to the personal study commitment between us and the Lord. We are saying I am going to walk this road with you and we will figure this out and help each other as we go. We are agreeing that our spirits can trust The One Who has gathered this specific group together at this specific time, for such a time as this to honestly share. We are gathering expecting to glimpse an extra dose of reality and strength. To know we are not the only ones struggling to answer question 4, page 26. To hear we are not the only woman stuck in a certain bad habit or behavior. To realize I am not the only one giving it my all I have and seeing no fruit, yet. To confirm something I have wondered. To be refreshed in Sisterhood blessings of laughter and hugs.
So often we see Bible study as the commitment to answered questions on the pages when what God is searching for is hearts falling deeper in Love's Name. Any Bible study we do, we ought to be looking for Jesus, on and off the pages. 
If you are new to a study or jumping back into one soon, I challenge you, I encourage you to look beyond the pages for what God has planned for you. Maybe your discipline for daily time management needs to be sharpened. Perhaps perfectionism or anxiety or shame might be overcome by the hugs and help of humility by way of vulnerability. There are probably a hundred different ways our Mighty and Gracious God uses to draw us closer to Him. 
Sister, He wrote The Book, cover to cover. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you in a fresh way this time. He is a faithful, jealous God. There is none more creative and awesome in power than He, so expect great things, in great ways...in many ways!  
I am so excited now to get started!!!!! Can't wait to find more of Jesus!!!           

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9

I'm a Christian...Now What?

Now What? You've heard of that moment in a person's life. Their eyes are opened. Heart changed. Habits broken. A renewed heart and soul. They have this glowing essence of joy about them...they have accepted Christ as their personal Lord and Savior. And then it happened to you. Hallelujah! Now what? 
The assumed "fairy dust" of perfection, divine knowledge, eyes to see everything God sees, has failed you, or you find yourself asking what you have done wrong. We made this decision to lead a pure and blameless life, but how? What do we do?
We assume the Holy Spirit would be like a fairy of special powers to reveal all of life's answers the moment we invite Him to dwell within us. Like a Magic 8 ball you shake to get the divine, magical answer. He does work divinely...but He doesn't work magically. The Holy Spirit is not a Google-God. He is christ in us, available to lead, carry, encourage, correct, to show us the way God has planned and purposed for us. Prayer is our direct line to the Divine.
So what do we do now that we choose Christ to lead our life? How does this impact my marriage, my family, my friendships, what I do in my free time, the places I will go now? How do I worship, pray, study, parent and be an excellent wife? What now?
This was the conversation a friend and I were having recently at lunch. She asked, How do I do this? She had been saved several years ago but hadn't been intentionally mentored and was left to observe other Believers's lives (that's always scary...we are all sinners saved by grace) and has been trying to figure it out as she goes. She joined a Bible study to learn more about the Scriptures themselves but here she sat today, with a life rededicated to Him, desperate to know how she is supposed to be a Christian wife to an unbelieving husband, a Christian Mom to her kids, serve in ministry none of which she herself is sure of what hers is. How was she to lead or follow when she herself didn't know much about being a Christian? 
Churches are so good at presenting the Gospel but often fail at the last Amen of their prayer and discipleship never happens. The new Believer has no one to answer their question, What now? 
They have 2 choices: 1.) ask someone they trust or hope someone offers to walk with alongside them, or 2.) do their best on their own to read, learn and watch and hope you're doing it the best way for you. Why would we want our fellow sisters to have to figure it out when we have gleaned even a little to be shared? If God has saved us, we have a testimony of grace and what that has been like to share with others. Maybe we have forgotten or minimized our walk. Maybe our own fire has sizzled. Maybe we only see failure in our life. One thing is for sure, Satan will not be happy about connections made because he knows too well a cord of three is not easily broken. We must guard our established friendships for the same reason. God gets the glory when we stay united, honest, intentional and pure. 
I am afraid in our world of Instant Info, people find it easier to "look it up" and take whatever is the path of least resistance. I am guilty of that, thank you Google and Pinterest. What they really need is organic or intentional mentoring that helps any and every Believer throughout their lifelong journey. Thank the Lord I have this too!! I don't know where I would be in my faith if God had not blessed me with amazingly wise and willing, God-fearing, God-loving woman to help lead me navigate every area in every season over my many years. Learning and growing is a lifetime journey.
What do I do? 
We have all asked ourselves this same question at one time or another. There's always that first week, first crisis, first new friendship of sisterhood, first failure, first betrayal, first Bible study, first spiritual attack, first everything and then for every new season, a wonder how do I do this?!? We all have had our first day one day.
I was brought back to so many of my firsts, even firsts of new seasons like the one I am in parenting an adult child in college. The wonder. The fears. The prayers. The pleas. The failures. The victories. Where do I begin? What list of "things" can I share with her. 
Not knowing where to begin, I asked her what first is she trying to figure out. She said her marriage. Her husband does not share her same faith walk. While he once walked in the doors of God's house, it had been many moons since and he didn't understand her growing commitment, joy and faith. I tell you what, she is much stronger than she knows! I am inspired and awed at her commitment to walk this life in the freedom of her faith. If anyone could justify not going to church, it would be the spouse of one who doesn't. She could easily stay home and read her Bible silently alone and make the best Sunday morning breakfast anyone has ever feasted on and serve her husband by performing well. Instead, she serves well and loads up the kids for Sunday morning worship in her local church. She is learning and growing week by week, but what now? How does she do it once she walks out the doors of the church? To some degree or another, we are all trying to figure it out.
I am certainly not an expert or one who has it all figured out but I do have a life lived with both failures and victories. Some things worked out wonderfully while other choices crushed me. My personality is one of lists and long ones at that. I like details and structure more than random chance or chaos. I love reading and researching ideas and concepts of How-Tos from crafts, writing, photography, interior design and recipes to parenting, marriage and ministry. I began thinking of all the things I attempt to do as a help-mate to my husband and as a Mom to my children ranging college to elementary age. Oh how I wish I could do it all and be an excellent Proverbs 31 Woman, but I fail...constantly. Praise God my Lord and my family know my heart. They know that burnt biscuits and overcooked chicken doesn't mean I am careless and irresponsible or that I don't love them enough to provide Pinterest Pretty food. They know my heart is absolutely head over heels for them, thank God!
During our lunch, I was about to share the Proverbs 31 womanly goals we all dream of having, it hit me fresh again. The reminder how our lives are not about the things we do, or don't do. God looks at our heart. God has transformed us into new beings, we are therefore new creations and as that new creation with a new heart, it changes us as a whole. Christ in us is Christ in us. Our hopes, thoughts, behaviors, motives, filters, actions are because He lives in us. There are plenty of commandments and principles and examples to glean from in The Word and of course millions of books and plenty of conferences and workshops to learn some How Tos. The Proverbs 31 woman is a wonderful example of what it looks like in example of serving her family in her day, however what God asks us is to do is love Him and serve Him with all of our heart, and share this love with others, especially with our legacy children and future generations. Actions are simply the outward expression of our hearts. God is looking at our hearts and it is from the love we hold for our Lord that we love others.
Even though my husband is a seasoned, active in his walk Believer, the way I serve him and love him is no different than how my friend serves her husband. The ways I love, discipline and encourage my children of different ages and temperaments are the same way she will love, discipline and encourage her children. I am called to ministry, giving of my time, talents and resources for Kingdom purpose the same as she is as a new Believer. We both will do it scared but with humble adoration of God's equipping of His people to the task He has asked us to do no matter how much we know or how old our spiritual age. Our fruits (Galatians 5:22-23) to grow are the same and our love is from the same Father. We even (should be) thinking alike according to Philippians 4:8. Our lives and gifting may differ, but our Gift of Salvation and heart's aim are the same.
There really isn't much difference between us. Time is the only real difference  I have had the opportunity to build a history with my God and because of that, I have had more failures covered by grace, more victories to testify to His greatness and can call to witness His divine intervention and mighty Love! 
How do I do this? With God!!!!  
What now? Love fully! 

I am sure there was probably a shorter way to write this out, but I really wanted to get into the heart and mind of someone who might be reading this and can totally relate to the thoughts and behaviors of being that "new girl" and not knowing exactly what she is supposed to do now that she's made the choice to follow after Christ. And truthfully, you may have even accepted Christ as your Savior a hundred moons ago and yet have never sat down and had a practical, vulnerable conversation with another Believer on these things. How great and beneficial and rewarding when we do. Not only do we receive hope and encouragement, GOD receives the glory for a life lived for HIM! 
Well, I can't NOT give you some type of list to encourage you, so here it is: 

Love! Love God with all of your heart and chase hard after Him. Psalm 18:28-39

Be in His Word daily. Seek Him first in every way!  Matthew 6:33

Seek wise women of God and accountability. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Nourish your heart with faith, hope and love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Find a good Women's Bible Study to glean within the hearts and lives around you. 2 Timothy 3:16-17

Serving others well and figuring out your ministry moments will come out of your love for God your Savior. Guard your heart. Deuteronomy 6:4-7

Listen to the whispers of the Holy Spirit and rebuke the whispers of Satan. 1 John 4:1-4

Confess and repent! You cannot hide from God! Don't give Satan a foothold. You are free indeed!! Luke 15:7

Begin and end every day with prayer and prayerfully wonder and worship in between. 

Share your heart and testimony with others. Matthew 5:16, Philemon 1:4-7

Remember you are loved, forgiven and precious and your mistakes and all your unknowns will never outweigh God's Grace for you. Lamentations 3:20-25, Jeremiah 29:11-13

If Satan was a Hurricane

"Be prepared!" For the past several days, this has been the message for those of us living in the path of Hurricane Matthew who has grown into a big, deadly storm here in the Atlantic waters. Haiti, Jamica, Cuba, Bahamas and now the US East Coast are on alert from the authorities. 
Prepare NOW, they say. Why now instead of waiting till we know his more specific path? Because practical wisdom tells us once the storm hits, it not only is more difficult to work and prep outdoors as you fight the elements, it could even be impossible. In the event of a severe storm (such as the one we are facing this weekend), evacuations are necessary, a life and death decision that has to be made and acted upon NOW...not tomorrow...NOW! There is also the chance it's course will change direction or strength at a moment's notice. 
Many locals have shared stories of waking up in the middle of the night to storms that had changed direction. Had they not taken precautions before they went to bed, just in case, they would have endured more damage than had they not. Imagine replacing the hose nozzle on your garden hose as the water pressure continues to flow against you. Imagine folding sheets outdoors in gusty winds. There is a slight chance you can get these things done, but it will be extremely difficult and take more time and energy than if they had been done before opposition came against you. And worse case scenario is you won't be ready at all and the storm will overtake you.  
Here in Florida, we are currently bracing for Hurricane Matthew. It is being classified as a Major Storm as it directs it's path as a Cat4 heading to Central Florida. Media on every channel, in every country, on every island, on every website are pleading their case to Be Prepared and the time is NOW! Once the storm is here, it will be too late. Now is the time to gather supplies. Now is the time to secure your belongings. Now is the time to fins supplies to lock down your boat and home. Now is the time to formulate a plan to evacuate if it becomes necessary. Now is the time to prepare.
Of course, there are those who wait till the last minute only to find gas stations who are sold out of gas, stores sold out of water, food and batteries and . Left without essentials needed, they create for themselves a crisis within the crisis. If only they had heeded advice of those who know the devastation storms produce and listen to their warning...Be prepared!
As I clear my yard, secure the house and boat, gas the cars, buy hurricane friendly foods, stock up the water supplies, check in with friends and family, make safety plans and prepare for the impending threat, I can't help but think of the storms in our lives we must be prepared for so we are not overtaken. 

"For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ. 

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4:6-9 (NIV)

Satan is just like a hurricane. He appears out of the middle of nowhere, has his own unpredicatble path, he is destructive, causes chaos, creates great debt and loss. He tears things down and never builds things up. No one wants him in their home and yet he comes knocking on our doors, often pushing his way inside. He threatens our security and messes up our plans. If Satan was a Hurricane.
God's Word warns us to be prepared. There is a season for everything and Satan prowls like a lion, ready to destroy when the time is right...his timing, his way, regardless of who you are or what you do or where you live. Satan is fierce and like a hurricane, has many destructive levels and creates havoc along his path. 
The time to prepare yourself for a storm, is before it comes and since we don't know when the storm will show up, we must be prepared now. Spiritual muscles take time to build and it is often during the crisis they are strengthened. But if you haven't already been working them out, you're gonna hurt worse than had you already begun the process of strengthening. You may fair well through life's Tropical Depression and maybe even a Cat1, but should a Cat4 or Cat5 hit your dwelling place, will you have been ready? Will you have done all you could possibly do to manage well, heeding the advice of The One Who knows all about storms?

How can we prepare now for Satan's storms in our lives? 
~ Read His Word and know The Plan. The Bible is full of wisdom and instruction for how we can live our lives under His protection, receiving His provisions. Nothing happens without His permissions, therefore we can trust the Plans and Person of God, our Shield and Savior.
~ Pray and cast your cares on Him. Storms remind us how small we are in the universe and how big our god is. We cannot hide from Him and He truly is the best place to cast our fears and insecurities, because He loves us unconditionally. There is no greater Savior of Friend than our Lord.
~ Do your part and let God do His. We cannot control the surge, size, path or category of the storm heading our way. We are not in complete control. God is. Preparing for a Hurricane doesn't make the hurricane dissipate. It simply prepares us to endure it better than if we were fully open to it's destruction. 
~ Remember Who God is. Bad things do happen to Believers. God does allow crisis and storms to rage at varying degrees. Some will make a mess and some will devastate us but thanks to our great God, we will not be destroyed. He is faithful and good. Storms can clear away debris and refresh our waters. Crisis can bring us to our knees and teach us vulnerable hope we could learn no other way.
~ Gather together. We are not meant to weather storms alone. While our faith is our own, our journey is not. We need each other. Storms have a unique way of bringing communities together under one cause, for one hope...survival. When storms come, we have personal responsibilities as well as the care we ought to show our neighbors. 

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,

and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, 

who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 

In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 

These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 

Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 1 Peter 1:3-9 (NIV)