10 years Since Fear Was my Middle Name and Where Faith Is was born

"I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account.

Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again." - Philippians 1:23-26

What a conversation it was. This was the essence of my conversation with the Lord beginning in December 2008. Better is one day with Him than thousands elsewhere, and I wanted so badly to feel His presence again...I knew He wasn't done with me, so I always hoped...oh Lord give me Grace, give me hope, give me courage to be Your Light and Encouragement to others. Use me to be Your hugs here on Earth to those who don't feel them. For those who feel useless and unseen, less than and yet want so badly to share Light and Love in Your name, Please Lord, I wish it could be Me! 

That has always been my desire and my hope for life and ministry. I have always desired to love God and others with all my heart but that soul mission led by love, was controlled by fear. All the What if's and I can'ts became part of my being. I was the most prepared person for defeat because fear was my active middle name, not Eileen which was what my Mom had given.

Today marks 10 years since the beginning of what would be a transforming season of redefining, refining, and heavy sifting. I could write longer than you'd care to read about this journey and all I have learned but I will spare you as this is lengthy enough. 

This is Where Faith Is birthed from. A place of journaling, processing, exposing, sharing, ministering and documenting. Looking back, that time was painful and terrifying, and yet divine and exhilarating. Intense for a season but growth for a lifetime! As much as I prayed for the Lord to restore me back "the way life was", I am glad He didn't. I didn't know life without fear until it was gone and there was no going back! Freedom is incredible and life altering. 

In that season I was madder than I had ever been at God in my life and then more in love with Him than I had ever been in my life. It was a gloriously intense season. I am thankful God doesn't answer exactly what we ask, but chooses to allow what is for our good, that He may receive all the glory. Remember this when you too face hard moments or seasons. I promise you, He is up to something for you, not against you. 

We may not ever fully understand or see the fruit of suffering, but there is a trust that is foundational to the hope we must stand on even when, especially when, we cannot see.

Satan may be whispering in your ear...give up...you don't matter...no one will miss you if you're not here...God doesn't really love you like He loves others...you won't ever get over "it"...God won't remain patient with you...you'll never be good enough...God can't use you...you're not able...you're not enough...So many other people will do it better than you...etc. Absolute LIES!! These are lies from the the great deceiver.

Friend, You are loved, cherished, covered, forgiven, enough, ready, equipped, necessary and instrumental to the glory of God! Every drop of blood He gave, was meant for you too! He wants you, and others need you!! God has planned a purposeful life for you and only He knows how many days that will be for each of us so who are we to be wasteful or careless with these precious breaths?!? 

The sheep do not instruct the Shepherd, nor does the clay teach the Potter. What a wonderful day when we learn to live each day fully, without regret, without fear, without worry. Even in trials, we are being refined and strengthened as we are walking through Fire which doesn't burn, because He is near.

So today especially I count it all joy for the season of great pain and fear for it was there I came out out of the prison without chains, out of the firery furnace whole. I walked away from the constant bullying of a goliath who stood tall in my face since childhood. Thanks to The Lord's mercy, fear no longer controlled me or shackled me, now Love could truly lead. 

Although my salvation gives me eternal freedom, through my relationship with Christ, I have learned the blessing and reality of earthly freedom. I am learning to live authentically as the person God created me to be, fully embracing Grace as my hope and redemption as the reason, the only power I need for the purpose I was created for, to walk out each day courageously and reflecting the glory of God, so that others will discover their freedom too through the words of my testimony.

I didn't realize I was tethered to defeat deep in the pit of fear. It's just what I knew. My perfectionism and fear of judgement kept me careful and cautious, cornered into a comfort zone I falsely believed I would surely honor God because there, I would not disappoint, because I did not fail, because I did not commit to things I didn't feel I could do. Fear, in the name of humility, became my identity and dictated my choices and impacted my ministry, my marriage and most every area of my life. Choices that made me small.

I excused my shy and unqualified self as reasons to avoid leadership opportunities. I recognized and accepted my place in the Can'ts because it just felt easier and a place I wouldn't disappoint others. But God...the Great I Am who Is and says I Can. Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound...I once was blind but now I see! If you don't see the chains, how will you ever break them? If you don't ever climb out of the pit, how will you see life, Light and love? If you don't choose action and harvest, how will you ever experience growth? We must first allow His truths to speak to us, then we must BELIEVE them!

Jesus is faithful hope. Jesus is stronger than you and therefore will conquer all you cannot. Jesus loves without condition. Christ our Lord forgives, and has already counted the cost of your unbelief and sins and He paid it in full! He loves you!!! How amazing! When we truly grasp this truth and live our life as if it's true, what joy! What freedom!

Oh the blessings of seeing the God's heart over these past 10 years in every area of my life. Joy floods my soul and blows my mind. Fear is not the comfort zone you think it is. It's a cage but good news friend...you can break out of it in Jesus Name! So many Believers suffer in silence with defeating thoughts or behaviors, shamed and embarrassed, so if this is YOU, I am challenging you to: 

-tell someone trustworthy and keep accountability
-pray without ceasing
-fight the war with weapons unseen
-seek intercessors who will fight for you, reminding you Who's you are
-walk through the fire courageously anticipating a beautiful refining when you're out the other side and do not fear
-get stronger not weaker surrounded by likeminded people and walk by faith
-memorize and meditate on His promises
-worship in all you say, do and think. 

Need some practical advice?!? I know this sounds impossible right now, but trust me...serve somewhere. I know you probably don't feel like it, but do it! Get outside of your own square footage. Do an act of kindness. Get out of the house. Go for a walk, invite a friend to join you. Fear and shame isolates us. Break out of that pit and see!

Need even more practical suggestions?!? Drink lots of water, eat a good healthy meal and watch your caffeine intake. Get up and move! Walk, dance, clean, serve! Do not just sit around and sulk. Pray without ceasing and count your blessings!!

 
More? Start a Blessing Journal and write down a minimum of one a day then SAY IT ALOUD. Understand the Love your Father has for you!! Wrap your mind around the the fact He has created you to be His. He sees you right where you are. Nothing escapes Him. Together, we are a city on a hill for the nations! Turn up that worship music and dance! Sing it with purpose and declaration so the enemy cringes and flees. Let him understand he cannot cage you anymore.

Stay strong and rebuke the lies of the enemy. Satan is not for you. He wants to destroy you. God saves!! God is our joy, peace and hope forever! His Grace is all you need and by faith, when you surrender to His care, He will flood you with Peace that surpasses all understanding. Breath in His Grace and be still that anxious soul. He's got you and He won't let you go!!!

May every day be a day we count as joy to be loved by The Great I Am, for His mercies are new every morning and His heart bleeds for ours. Rejoice always. Give thanks. Dwell in His abundance and trust His ways. May this be our battle plan!!! Going to church is not the answer, memorizing Scripture is not the answer, praying loud is not the answer. Jesus is the Answer and resting in Him, worshiping Him and receiving His great love is the fullness of Life! Jesus is not looking for performers. He is seeking hearts.

Greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world. We are more than conquerers! We are His! Nothing can separate us from the love of God! Amen.

Don't give up! Don't quit. Nothing can hinder what God has planned. Will you trust Him enough by faith? Our healing and help begins with Love Himself. Seek Him. If you need more help, reach out to a counselor or pastor and ask for it! It's never too late. Mercies are new every day!

Don't let today's pain keep you from all the tomorrows' blessings!! You are more than a Conquerer and He's making all things new!! Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!! 

Thanking God today, for not allowing me to live another day shackled to fear and insecurity. There are thorns. There are scars. There are more layers to unravel in the process of healing and growth and it's okay. 

I never want to forget what it took to bring me to the feet of the Cross where Christ was all I had. 

To know His breath. 

To hear His voice. 

To experience His touch. 

Oh how wonderful the Prince of Peace. 

I look forward to every day with my Sweet Savior, King, Father, and Friend knowing He provides for the purpose He has called me to even when I am clueless or feel lost. 

Don't be surprised at continued trials and temptations, there will always be "those" days in every season. Until the day of Glory, He is still working in us and the enemy is still lurking. Stand firm in the Father's arms, He's got you!

God knows. God hears. God is near and He loves you! Live fully in this freedom! You are not alone, ever!

Thankful for Love, Grace, Hearts and Hope!! God, You have my heart!!! Thank You for Yours for me!! In You I rest and live, amen.

Shackled Joy

As far back as I can remember, I’ve been intimidated by strong personalities. In this new season of personal reflection and growth, I have come to realize it was the fear of courage and strength, so weird. Something I needed, and wanted... yet feared. I see it in others and wish that could be me, but it wasn't. Why?!? The enemy is very slick and patient.

Physical Fear: I grew up in a school where fist fights during the lunch break were a daily thing, bullies ran the hallways, assaults in our community seemed overwhelming. As a young girl, the fear was real and there seemed to be no escaping it. I knew it was just a matter of time before I might fall victim to the whim of evil. Watching the news was only affirmation that we lived in an unsafe and powerful world and strong people were threats to my personal safety. My soul was cornered by fear, terrified to live but happy to be alive if that even makes sense.
Over the years, I avoided people or environments that involved intense emotions, violence, power, anger, usually alcohol was center stage. Making the wrong move in public, saying something negative to someone, feeling angry myself, being around large groups, being around people who were drinking, hearing people argue, watching wrestling or boxing on tv or in real life triggered me into a flight mode. 

Emotional Fear: Becoming a Mom was the greatest joy and the greatest fear in my life. How was I going to keep my baby safe (physical) and make all the right choices (emotional)?! What if I messed up, what if other Moms saw my “less than” because my kids didn’t have the new trendy clothes, or didn’t like veggies, didn’t have a bday party every year, what if teachers judged me that my kids didn’t have a salad in their daily lunch or a homemade cookie or thought I was uncaring for not making cupcakes for the class on every party day. Fear always says what if you don’t measure up...everyone will know.

People pleasing was a coping mechanism to avoid arguments and conflict. I am a Lead with the Heart personality, yet inside fear was the guiding voice of all my “shouldas” and “havetas.” Decisions were made based on the presumed consequesnces if I didn’t do something rather than seeing the blessings if I did. Keeping peace and felling protection meant I was passive. Often, a doormat. It was just easier, so I felt. I easily followed and never led. Fear created what felt like a sort of safe zone for me. Power triggered fear. Strong personalities were loose canons to me. Loudness was intimidating. Parties and crowds felt like traps not quickly escaped.

Fear keeps us running circles around our own thoughts and controls our behaviors. Fear shrinks us but faith strengthens us. To be sure, I am a Christ Follower, I have faith...I just didn’t know how to have safe courage. Bravery, boldness, and leadership seemed like it was something everyone else had and some thing I just didn't have. The End. So I thought.

Fear has been a clever and quiet controller almost all my life. Perfectionism and people pleasing shaped me and guarded me even though my heart had hidden joy for life inside. The mask of Joy I wore daily seemed real. I had become really good at hiding insecurity and fear. Fear shackled my joy. Any decision that could involve conflict or failure were avoided to certain degrees in every area of my life. I still married, still became a Mom, still served in ministry and leadership but it was all done in shackled joy.

But God...The Lord is not going to sit back and watch His children remain shackled. We’ve been created for a purpose and equipped to accomplish it through Him and His strength, despite our weaknesses and insecurities because He is able, because He is Lord and He created each of us with a purpose in mind. His Grace is more than enough and we can walk in it boldly, confidently and powerfully. 

I used to fear-fear God. After all, He’s very powerful. But in His grace, and in the battle for my joy in the heavenly places I cannot see, He has been fighting for me. The very thing that terrified me, He’s been doing on my behalf, fighting huge battle to protect me, and not harm me. He has shown me that fighting is often necessary and righteous fear, fearing the right things is healthy. I am thankful for the gift of discernment I have always had to sense evil intentions but instead of the awareness crippling me, it now empowers me to be on guard and aware. There is a real battle for our hearts and our minds and we actually do have to fight. We should get angry about injustice and sin, while not sinning. We need fear in its rightful place under our feet. It can motivate us, but it will not lead us.

For us shy and recovering insecure girls, sensing power in ourself is scary at first. Those of you with bold, courageous personalities probably won’t understand any of this and it’s ok but I pray it opens your eyes to give extra grace to those in your life facing their fears, that you may lead by patient example, interceding for the release of the chains that hold them down.

Shackles are breaking and joy is being released! The weight of expectations, is so heavy. As Worship increases, so do Faith and Peace. Faith deepens our trust and when we trust deeper, we have Peace and when we have Peace, we have joy. As I learn to walk courageously against fear, my joy has increased. I recognize on this side of healing that fear is something that can shrink while courage magnifies joy, hope, faith and love. There is no joy in fear. If you feel scared, depleted, anxious, exhausted, cornered, judged, useless...you would be wise to check what you are bound to. A spirit bound to fear will drown but a spirit bound to Christ will soar. 

Friend, the Cross has set you free because of the blood of Jesus. The enemy knows this and is hoping you forget! This is why I blog and am kicking down walls fear built because I know I haven't been alone in this and I have experienced this beautiful freedom and can't help but share it to release the hold of fear for just one other person. I get it. Our minds are powerful things but the enemy seeks to control it and you must saturate yourself in The Word and dwell on the Truths in there. Once you wrap your head around the fact you are a Child of God, you have the victory in battle, you have the power of the Holy God living in you as a Believer...your world will change! The way you see it and the way you live it.

You are gonna have to fight! Yes, it will be awkward at first but it will free you! Fear can stop growing but you have to take charge! You have to step out in Grace and Faith with zeal and trust! You are more than a conqueror friend and there is more to this life than you just getting through it. You do have a purpose. Your paycheck, your title, your social media likes are not affirmation to your value. You are made in the image of God and were created for a life of purpose and hope, life and joy, peace that surpasses all understanding. You can walk through fire. You can do amazing things scared. Just lean into His strength and receive grace to make mistakes knowing you aren't a failure. You are simply figuring it out by faith. 

Ask the Lord to show you the people in your life who are authentically walking by faith and not fear. I would dare to say He has placed people around you with the iron sharpening tools you need but you've been too afraid to approach them and truly embrace relationships with them, because you're too afraid of being hurt or of failing in front of them. Cut off those fears and go to them. Share with them the journey you are on and let them see your heart. Ask them to be praying for you and ask for mentorship or wisdom in areas in your life you want to grow. I could not have done it without mine. 

Take courage and take up your iron. It's time to get up and gird up! Oh how grateful I am to have these iron sharpeners in my life, and some are unaware of their witness of example to me. I see them. They encourage me greatly.

Do not allow the enemy to shackel your joy anymore. Today, choose Joy. Today, stop fearing fear, stop worrying about measuring up to others or with others. Turn back your eyes to the Cross of Victory and look at the Empty Tomb of a risen Lord who dwells with you as you go and has conquered death. You are not alone and life will not ever be perfect and easy. But God. He stands near with outstretched arms to hold you close and show you The Way to joy, peace, and love. Love has set you FREE! Now walk in it!‬‬

Romans 8: "5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 

6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!" 

16 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 

17 and if children, then heirs--heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.

18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 

27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 

28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 

32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 

33 Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. 

34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died--more than that, who was raised--who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. 

35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 

36 As it is written, "For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered." 

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 

38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 

39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." 

There are many verses in The Bible on fear, hope, courage, confidence and joy. Type whatever you are struggling with in the search bar of your Bible App or look in the index in the back of your Bible and start reading and reflecting on Truth! It is the Power to set you FREE!

“To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God, who created all things, so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. This was according to the eternal purpose that he has realized in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in Him.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭3:8-12‬ ‭ESV

Setting the Anchor

When I met my husband, our love for the beaches took us out to deeper waters where we eventually were SCUBA certified and now 3 of the 4 kids are also SCUBA certified. Every other year we rotated our mountain and beach family vacations with beaches always being our favorite kind, mostly because they are way less work, especially with 4 kids in tow.
In 2014, the Lord moved us to Florida where we found it less expensive to buy a used boat than continually pay for 6 people to snorkel or dive every week. It was the first boat either of us had ever driven, much less owned. So crazy! Living an ocean lifestyle has been amazing and the Scriptures have taken on a whole deeper meaning as I study deeper waters, anchors, winds, navigating, stars, cast nets, fishing terms, etc. 
I love hosting friends and family and for the first time, I had some of my dearest Texas girlfriends over for a Girls Retreat. As we headed out for our day on the water, we set our course and readied ourselves with water, sunscreen, good music and stocked the boat with goodies and supplies. After a 15 minute trip out, we approached the buoy at the snorkel spot, got my co-captain help-mate set up to take over the controls so I could grab the line and tie us up. I could have done it by myself, but why, when you have someone willing to help you. It's efficient and just makes sense. Thankfully she is a teachable, confident girl and we communicate really well and think a lot alike. Sometimes it was a hand signal or a look and she just got it. We make a great team getting all the things done and running the boat was no different. She helped me get hooked up and take care of the two other girls who were newer to being in the water and got them in the water. For one of them, it was her first time snorkeling, woohoo!! The water was clear, refreshing and amazingI Great sister snorkel.
Next stop was the local Sandbar so we could chill & chat. Here however, you must drop an anchor. It was a newer spot for me so I wasn't as familiar with the ground density. I handed the controls back over to my co-captain once again and grabbed the anchor, got her aligned to the right depth and dropped the anchor. With waters quickly approaching 12" and less, it's a quick drop. Efficiency is key! You have to get it set so you don't beach the boat or float back out.
As soon as we dropped the anchor, I hopped out of the boat, checked the ground, looking for a solid spot to let the anchor do its thing. Curious, they asked Why and How I knew what to do and I explained how the sand was firm in some areas and mushy in others so it was important to make sure we had hit solid ground and it was caught so the boat wouldn't float away as we tootled around the sandbar looking for shells and critters. I only knew about the soft spots because I was familiar with the sandbar and remembered the bottom floor. It's a long swim if your boat gets away, haha! Who knew one of the smallest things on the boat could be so important besides the motor prop (another blog about the tongue coming soon)!
The first drop was not solid ground. It landed into very soft sand and the anchor sank a good foot below. As I pulled on it, it almost felt like a suction had been created and boy oh boy was it hard to pull it out of there. I couldn't do it and had to have my skilled co-captain girlie pull it out with the help of the boat. I swam over a few feet and found solid ground and set my anchor there, whew. 
Each morning we enjoyed our gathering around the table drinking our morning lattes, eating breakfast and feasting in the Word. This was one of my most favorite parts to every day, starting out anchoring ourselves rightly. As we enjoyed the Sandbar, the anchor conversation reminded me of our Bible Study that morning as we talked about the steadfast and faithful love of our God, the anchor to our soul. 

• Without our Anchor, how will we remain in the place we are supposed to be?
• If we set our Anchor in mushy ground, the smallest of currents can slowly pull the boat away. We must set it on a firm foundation so when strong winds come, we won't drift places we hadn't planned on going. And, if we place our anchor in shifting sands, and it sinks...boy oh boy do I know the extra grief and muscle it takes to set it back right.
• Having an Anchor is crucial to keep you where you need to be. The bigger your anchor, the greater the hold. 

It's so easy in life to put our hope in things of this world only to find ourselves in places we didn't plan to be and in deeper waters than we meant to go. 
There really is no greater Anchor than the Lord our God. He is steady and steadfast. He will keep us where we need to be if we allow Him to ground us on a firm foundation, His Cornerstone. 
And can we talk about co-captains? Yes, we can do almost anything by ourselves, but why would we if we have help? I am thankful for anchoring sisters to do life alongside me just as I am grateful for the gift of the Holy Spirit who dwells with us as our Helper and is familiar to where we are and can keep us focused and in the right direction. We are wise to lean into the One Who knows the ground beneath us, knows how to set our anchor outside of shifting sands that we would be kept in place, not tossed to and fro or drifting afar.

Anchor Sisters, Literally!

Lessons learned: 

• Have the right Anchor! You create a lot of extra work and unnecessary stress when you don't have the right one. 
• Know your foundation. Thank God for grace when it's the first time in a new place and you don't get it right, with a Helper, you can get unstuck and try again, and again, and again. 
• We need Anchoring friends.
• Avoid shifting sands.
• Hook your anchor on The Rocks or Solid Ground to stay put.
• God is endless grace. 
• He is steadfast. 
• He is sovereign. 
• He is faithful. 
• He is The Anchor to my soul, amen.

"So when God desired to show more convincingly to the heirs of the promise the unchangeable character of his purpose, he guaranteed it with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us.

We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf," 

Hebrews 6:13-20

"Why do you call me 'Lord, Lord,' and not do what I tell you? 

Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built.

But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great." Luke 6:46-49

Crowbar of Grace : Feeling Lonely When You are Surrounded by People in Life

It was a perfect evening for a Jeep-Hair-Don't-Care Jeep drive. The winds were cooler, the sunset emulated a fire in the sky providing a Hollywood-worthy backdrop for a drive. I took the soft top and doors off and headed out. There's nothing like it! To feel the wind in your hair, and not care how messy it gets, to feel a sense of extra freedom and fun.

This evening though I felt a special sense of awareness, being pulled in my spirit to really being in the moment. I admit it's been a busy few months of intense focus and work. I have hardly slowed down accomplishing more of the To Do List than Ought to Do List. 

Driving through town, the sky was glowing, lights illuminated driveways and businesses, my hair was swishing around in the wind. No, no music playing. Our old jeep doesn't have working a/c, heat or radio. It truly is a basic ride without expectations. I took in a deep breath reaching my arm out the side of the jeep in a moment of worship of thanksgiving, feeling especially free and kept by my Savior. I felt His nearness. I knew He was riding with me. My soul was at joyful rest in my hot mess. 

And then I smelt it. A full aroma of yummy deliciousness flooded my air. Mmmm...I had come into the local restaurant area and the aroma filled my senses. I hadn't been hungry but now I found myself starving. My spirit spoke in that moment, "Girl, how wonderful to taste and see the Lord is good." In that moment, every sense was heightened, the sense of sight, smell, feeling. Yes. Oh the beautiful freedom of tasting and seeing, and knowing The Lord our God is so good. He is a delight, even better than chocolate and my favorite lattes. My God quenches every thirst and feeds my soul like nothing else can. The bestest of friends, the yummiest of foods, the greatest of incomes cannot compare to the richness of our Lord's glory and presence alone. 

It was a perfect evening for a no doors on Jeep ride, smelling local flavors and the salty air. Pulling over to a sunset gazing spot, I sat still in reflection, realizing how often I have quenched the Holy Spirit in my life with "closed doors." 

If I had been in my Mom car, the Burb, windows and doors closed up, I wouldn't have experienced all that open air goodness. You know how God takes these everyday moments and peels back a layer of our heart to speak some truth into it? This was one of those moments.

Insecurity, inadequacy, fear of failure and judgement, lack of self confidence keeps our doors under lock and key. We can live life surrounded by people yet still feel lonely. 

Each betrayal, each failure, each regret and disappointment was another click of the Lock Doors button. It's always been easier to polish the outside of the car and keep it locked up without fear of the unknowns letting others in. Isolation becomes your safety zone, yet it’s a danger zone. 

Friend, the enemy is always at work to isolate us. When we are hidden and disconnected, our fire simmers and we become lukewarm and less salty.

But God, He didn’t create us for isolation. He came to set the captives free, not to shut us in behind closed doors. Jesus came to seek and save us from the shackles of death and desolation. He opens closed doors with the crowbar of grace, mercy and love. 

Ultimately, His Love unlocks our doors and Grace is the gatekeeper. The Lord who opens the floodgates of glory divine, revealing to us how He is doing a new thing and He can't wait to show us. If we would just trust Him to open our doors.

God places crowbars of grace in our lives to help us get out from behind those doors. He not only sent the Holy Spirit as our Helper, but He places in our lives, friends with keys, faith and hope that can open locked doors that lead us towards Him. 

Always keeping it real, I am still a guarded girl, trust and healing takes time and comes with learning healthy boundaries. I choose who, when and where because I ask God to lead the way and open those doors for me. You can too! It’s time to pray for God’s help to open those doors and enjoy the beauty of Salty Air with your Sisters & Savior!

"We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;" 

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 17-18  

 "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,  for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind." James 1:2-6

With hopes of empowering others in these rooms, I do my best to be transparent and honest, but I admit, I am guarded, however, I know it is He Who is a shield about me. My hope, my fears all rest in His care. Our flesh and our enemy will never stop showing us open doors for us to hide behind, in hopes that one day we won't be paying attention and walk in and sit for a while. Even on those days you do, there's always a crowbar of grace and it will be up to you to know where it is and how to use it.

Friend, do you need a crowbar of Grace today to get out from behind those doors? Let Him open them, He is trustworthy. You don't have to fear the other side of that door. I know it looks scary but you can trust Him. The winds and waves know His name. He sculpted out every path you will walk on and will walk with you. Step out from behind those suffocating doors. You are not safe there. Let go of that self control and open your soul's arms wide and honestly proclaim it is well with your soul even when it hurts, His breath sustains yours. He will take you for the ride of a lifetime. He is trustworthy and will be the most powerfully consuming delight you will ever know.

Enjoy the Messy-Hair-Don't-Care of Christ's reckless love. Surrender to the moments He gives you and embrace the good and perfect gifts He has for you in every season. Strength is in His Name. Freedom is found knowing He is by your side and His heart is for you, not against you. How He must delight in the sweet aroma of our return of worship as our souls pour out praise and see the proof of a life free from isolation.  

 
Open the door, take the ride, stretch your arms wide and show the enemy where your faith is, then Taste and See that the Lord our God is good! 

"Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!" Psalm 34:8

Today! Heaven is here.

"You can't threaten me with Heaven! I know where I'm going." A cliche in the Christian circles when someone or something threatens our personal safety.

As Believers, we live an eternally focused life. Our eternity-driven soul, eagerly waits for Christ's return It's our heart's desire and our life mission to reflect the glory and grace of God, sharing our living Hope that others may be reconciled to Christ as Savior. As we should. We focus our life with the end in mind leveraged in the necessary balance of living with our minds set in the here and now. To live Heavenward, not Heaven-bound. 

There are only two options as we take our last breath here on earth and for those who accept Christ as their Savior, it's Heaven. Those who do not, it is Hell. There will come a moment in time when the opportunity to make that choice ends, hence our urgency to proclaim the Gospel of Salvation. How do we live our lives eternally focused on the end yet eternally focused here on this broken Earth? 

Heaven, a new beautiful beginning with no end. I personally cannot wait to see my Redeemer and my Best Friend, my Father and The King of Kings face to face. Can you imagine? Where all our questions fade, we gaze face to face into the eyes of the One who loved us more than we can know, to touch His hands and hear His laugh and know the shape of His smile and the creases of His skin and the radiance of His Divine glory. 

The place where worship builds as every Saint joins the chorus, echoing against the streets of gold in perfect harmony, where the radiance of Glory will be like nothing we can comprehend in brightness and breath taking beauty. 

Heaven is the place we dream of and long to be for all eternity. A place of no more tears, pain and suffering. A place of acceptance and joy. We long for it. I long for it. I live, today, for it.


You know "those days" those weeks, and sometimes "those" seasons? "Lord come quickly" we might say with a chuckle. Lordy, we need you, take us NOW! In just, it's funny...but for others, it's a serious plea. 

In recent days, there was news of a Pastor who took his life. How heartbreaking when someone feels there is no other choice. As a Believer, the temptation to get to where you ultimately want to be doesn't feel threatening. It feels like an answer. Our mind rationalizes it with... finally, yes...I am coming Lord. 

Depression and anxiety seem to fill threads these days. 

Technology shrinks our world. We are exposed to more and connected more intimately than ever before, and yet there is nothing new under the sun. 

Social media ignites us in shared passions, illustrates for us things unimaginable and executes what could never have in decades prior. After scrolling through several threads within different mainstream Christian authors, my heart grew so heavy scrolling through the hundreds of comments, one by one people sharing their depression, fears, lostness and hopelessness, thanking them for their shared ministry and speaking out words of hope and encouragement, Here I thought I was the only one. So many are hurting, and to be reminded, these are Believers sharing. Ones who know God, seek God, serve and love Him with all their hearts. And yet their hearts were depleted all from different reasons and seasons but here they are in the same boat, drifting and some sinking. 

What a misconception to think Believers are immune to trials and tribulations. I also believe the enemy wants us to feel alone in our struggles. To overcome us with shame and loneliness, to feel in the minority as if there was no source of understanding or help. To deceive us into hopelessness. Trials are a guarantee because now you have a real enemy who thought he was your friend until you made a decision to follow Christ and now you're his enemy too. We see all through Scriptures, God does allows trials to strengthen us and test us in our faith. What Satan intends for evil, God intends for good. Do you trust Him when things get hard and you can't see around that bend in the road or a way across that ocean?

I feel this is a conversation that needs to be talked about more and there are so many layers and probably entire books and Bible Studies written about this. I acknowledge there is no way to cover every layer of this topic, but I do pray it's a view inside a scope of something huge. I am also believing there is someone out there needing to read this to reignite their hope for Heaven today.
People mean well, we all do, when a friend shares with us a crisis in their life. A million articles have been written on What Not To Say When....because our hearts are in the right place and if it's something we haven't personally dealt with, we don't really know what to say. 
When you find yourself at the end of your rope, well meaning people say to you, "Hang in there. It's okay cuz ONE DAY there will be no more suffering and everything will be right and all the pain will be gone.You just have to make it through day by day until that day." All you can think is TODAY can be the ONE DAY so you deeply consider plans to go. Yes, it's wrong. It's selfish and ultimately it's murderous sin. But for them, it appears to be a short cut to get where peace is a guarantee. No more pain?! I am going anyway and I can't do this alone anymore. I'll plan to go sooner than later.

Friend, NO! You are not alone. Defeat Lie #1. 
There is no other way out. Defeat Lie #2.

This is not a conversation about blame or fault. It is never our fault if someone chooses to end their life. The focus of this share is how we can pay closer attention to the words we say by way of encouragement to a person in desperation for breath. Our goal is to give them that breath today. Are we showing Peace here, today? Are we talking about what they can access for help and healing, today? Are we giving them tools to manage and endure, here, today? 
"Peace is HERE! Peace is NOW! Stand FIRM! ASK! SEEK! KNOCK! RISE UP and FIGHT!" Help them see Heaven, here. Bottom line point: Don't point them to Heaven to come....show them Heaven TODAY! Help them look heavenward without being heaven-bound. They are so desperate for peace in their soul, where can they go for refuge and refreshment, to lift their eyes and recognize their value to fulfill their calling and sustain life because Christ is near, today? They need the hope for Glory TODAY in this dirt of earth. Let's lock arms and lay on hands over these precious souls He has fearfully and wonderfully made.

Friend, if this is you, yes, Glory in Heaven is the ultimate place for no more suffering, but it is not up to us to decide when our lives here on earth are over. The Lord has created us and purposed us for every day here, to be lived according to His purpose, in His strengths despite our weaknesses. To receive His perfect peace in our suffering. To be built up in the Body that our mat can be carried by fellow Believers to the One who can save us, restore us and heal us. He has not given you more than you can bare. He sends us unlikely friends  or faithful friends to strengthen us by the lifting of our arms when we cannot stand any longer. That we may touch the hem of His robe and be touched by the power of God. That we can come to the deep waters and find life, not death. To come hungry, and be fed.
When we bring God our minimum, He shows us His multitude. Our least is His long-lasting.

TODAY is the day of HOPE.

TODAY is the day of MERCY and STRENGTH. 

TODAY is the day of FOCUS.

TODAY is the day to BREATHE.

TODAY is the day to FIGHT.

TODAY is the day to LIVE.

I love the lyrics of this song (click here to listen), 

You give life, You are love

You bring light to the darkness

You give hope, You restore

Every heart that is broken

Great are You, LordIt's Your breath in our lungs
So we pour out our praise

When the day comes you can't catch your breath, when you lose your grip, when your mind becomes noise, when anguish consumes your heart, mind and soul, and you feel like there is nothing left for you and your life here on earth is hopeless and useless, you now know the voice of your enemy! Most people only know their own voice, how blessed are you to hear your enemy coming for you. He will not back down until you decide to rise up in Jesus Name and fight back against his deception and lies. He wants you to quit because you are a threat to his only battle plan of keeping Believers, including you, from worshiping The Lord with your life. 

Your time on this earth is over when God calls you home and He will never ask you to sin to accomplish His plan for your good and His glory. He knows the number of breaths He has planned for you. Breath His breath. Submit your body and your mind to worship. Surround yourself with Fellow Believers who are wearing their armor, who will carry your mat to the Savior. Friends who will go to battle for you and hold your sword till you have the strength again to pick it back up and get back on the front line. Do not set yourself in a corner and hide from help. You are worth fighting for, in fact, God sent His one and only Son to die for you. Blood has already been shed, yours is not necessary.
Let us RISE UP for TODAY!! The God of Angel Armies is always by your side! Still your soul to hear the Voice of our Redeemer, our Rock and our Refuge. You are dearly LOVED and NECESSARY, TODAY!

Recognize the voice of the enemy who comes to kill and destroy (John 10:10) the work of God in your life. Hear the call of Your Savior and stand on His Cornerstone, a Sure Foundation. You will not be conquered, for you are more than a conqueror in The Name of Jesus (Romans 8).
Be still and know He is God. (Psalm 46:10) He is here TODAY. This song was a command to my soul for many months, leading me into quiet stillness that I might hear God through all the noise. It settled me into worship. Worship ushered me into Peace. Perfect Peace. Not as the world gives, but as He Himself Is.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." John 14:27

TODAY is the day for Salvation and NOTHING can separate you from the Love of God. Friend. RISE UP and know that you know, this is a journey where you do not walk alone. When the world around you feels like it is closing in and you can't breath...be still and breath. Take your eyes off the path and look forward. (Psalm 121:1) Climb out of the pit you have slipped into. Trust The One who will never leave you or forsake you. Choose a Heavenward, not Heaven-bound Life today!

"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." 

Then Moses summoned Joshua and said to him in the sight of all Israel, "Be strong and courageous, for you shall go with this people into the land that the LORD has sworn to their fathers to give them, and you shall put them in possession of it. 

It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed." Deuteronomy 31:6, 8

There IS help in the church and outside the church. I am happy to share with you the things I did, just ask. Don't let the enemy rob you of the richness and fullness of Christ. The Lord is mighty to save and has plans only you can fulfill. There is no other God but our God and there is no other you than YOU.

BE STILL and RISE UP! Heaven is here! 

"For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!" 

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 

But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. 

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 

And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 

He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 

Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. 

Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died--more than that, who was raised--who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. 

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, "For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered." 

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 

nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8: 14-15, 18, 24-28, 31-39

If you or a loved one feels at the end of their rope, pray for the Lord to show you Help, jump into Scriptures, turn on the worship music and if there is a desperation for life, seek immediate help at a local church, area counselor or call the Suicide Hotline 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255. 

Be Still and RISE UP!

Encouragement When You Feel Depressed and Alone : Let's Pray

"When I said, "My foot is slipping," Your love, O LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul." Psalm 94:18-19 

Not every day can be a great day. Over the years I have learned to be more truthful with my feelings and stop hiding behind the "I'm fine" response which most often translates I am not okay. Saying I wasn't okay seemed to admit defeat or reveal a lack of faith. I convinced myself somewhere along the path of perceived togetherness, it wasn't okay to not be okay. 

My mind would say if I prayed harder, there'd be more Happy. If I listened to worship music and read my Bible a little longer, my circumstances might change which would surely change my heart and mind too. I would never had admitted a bad day for fear of being judged that I was a hypocrite or a weak Christian. How sneaky and manipulative is our enemy.

It took getting stuck in lots of pits and circling the same walls over and over to finally get through them. I've learned to honestly answer, "Not every day can be a great day, and I am not okay, but God is faithful." It is bearing false witness if you say everything's great when it's not. The false joy and perceived peace are not healing hopes. They are deceiving masks. 

The Lord tells us in His Word there will be trials and storms. What a prideful thing to equate ourself to God in thinking we can control things. You and I may be able to fake out some people, but we cannot fake out God or those closest to us who can immediately see the shattered twinkle in our eye. I think the Lord gives our close companions a special kind of discernment to know when we are not okay and call our bluff. Those are special kinds of Sisters.

Of course there is the opposite of me out there when someone is a Pity Party for One and all are invited in. They can't fathom anything good cuz the world is evil and there's no good left in anything or anyone. How exhausting it must be to live like that. 

People with drama drain me. I will certainly pray for them, but I am not going to enable them and I don't have to spend more than a minute with them either. Hello Healthy Boundaries. 

Life is just too short to waste time complaining, contemplating and gossiping. My Mom has always said I wear Rose-Colored glasses but I come by it honestly. I know the Lord gifted Hospitality, Encouragement, Empathy and Compassion into my heart but my Grandma used to always tell me, "Always find something kind to say to every person you encounter." So, here I am born with a glasses of Hope and yet, I still struggled with insecurity and anxiety.

Life isn't going to always be great no matter how we try to create a perfect place. There are seasons our sorrow will outweigh our happy. And God didn't promise us happy. He promised us a Helper. Life gets really hard and sometimes our prayers feel they fall onto deaf ears. We gasp for a breath under the weight of expectations, hopes and dreams that only seem to fade. 

So many friends are dealing with huge issues and it's hard even when it's not you. I read comments in social media groups that break my heart and drive me to want to be a louder, bolder Encourager and Light for the Lord, to reach those in dark places at the edge of depletion. I have been on that edge and praise God, 

He sent His Helper and His hugs through amazing, honest, warrior woman who knew how to Hug my heart through prayer and accountability. Scripture says together we are a City on a Hill if we all chose to Shine which means, no masks. Does that mean we tell everyone everything? Do we post on social media all our failures, problems, conflicts, insecurities? No. We are wise to pray before we post and ask, seek, knock where our help will come from. 

Our God....He is a Mighty Force, Ruler over all Authorities and principalities. Our Lord is a greater force than our finite minds can imagine. He is a real God, a loving Father, Great Counselor and Friend. He is our Rock and Refuge. He is our Anchor Who holds us in place when we find ourselves being tossed to and fro. When the seas roar, He has the power to calm them. (It's the only time you should stay close to a power source in a storm!! heehee!!!) 

When we know Who God is, there we find our Hope. Hope strengthens our faith and faith drives our perseverance, which strengthens our joy. No one can do what He can do but He can use us as His hands and feet here on this side of Heaven to bring that Hope Reminder to others. To remind the broken hearted He is near and He knows where we are. 

And the most important fact I learned: He is trustworthy and faithful. His love is unconditional and He loves me right where I am, in my insecurity, my anger, my fear, my hurt, my unknowns...He loves me here. Are we willing to surrender ourselves to Him? Do you trust Him to be a Promise Keeper? Do you believe He is Who He says He is?

One day, crashing waves will find their calm and joy will conquer painful sorrow as all the tears are absorbed into The Master's sackcloth. There is a time for everything as Ecclesiastes 3 explains. We will dance but we will also mourn. All in His time.

I challenge you to do more than simply give an Honest Answer. Surrender and Trust Him. Depend on Him. When you trust Him, you will be honest with Him so you can then be honest with yourself, and others because you trust Him more than you trust yourself. We can find comfort knowing God is Who He says He is and gives us exactly what we need as we need it. You cannot borrow joy, or grace. You cannot create peace. You cannot move mountains, divide oceans, calm storms, or create life from ashes. But God is more than able to do exceedingly more than we can ever imagine. 

Do you trust Him as YOUR Honest Answer?! 

Lord, as we cry our salty tears, replenish us with Your Living Waters. Give us the peace only You can. Heal our hurts. Forgive our unbelief. Forgive our forgetfulness of who You are. Forgive us for minimizing Your power of provision and grace in our lives. You are more than we can imagine and Your love immeasurable. Give us favor in the mustard seed of our faith to walk trusting You. Transform our insecurities with Your insight.

We believe at the command of Your voice, healing can come and hearts restored. Lord, heal our broken bodies. Renew our minds and set them on You again. Help our broken hearts beat in the rhythm of Your grace. 

God,  I pray for those in the middle of a storm, remind them of the Strength of Your Anchor! Send hugs and Help to them and lift them up. Call out to the winds and calm them that You may be seen walking on the horizon. Break their chains and renew their hope in Jesus Name. Grant them peace, revive their strength. Relieve the weight of their sorrows and replace it with Your mercy, new every morning! 

We acknowledge You are faithful, steadfast and Honest. Father, we worship You and bow before You asking for revelation of Your Power. Use us and gather us as a City on The Hill. Open our eyes to see what You see and clear our minds to hear wisdom. Give us courage to take off our masks and be a Light for You. Take our flesh and cleanse us. You are so patient and worthy. We praise Your Holy Amazing Name! You are everything to us. Amen!!

"You turned my wailing into dancing; You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to You and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give You thanks forever." 

Psalm 30:11-12