Shackled Joy

As far back as I can remember, I’ve been intimidated by strong personalities. In this new season of personal reflection and growth, I have come to realize it was the fear of courage and strength, so weird. Something I needed, and wanted... yet feared. I see it in others and wish that could be me, but it wasn't. Why?!? The enemy is very slick and patient.

Physical Fear: I grew up in a school where fist fights during the lunch break were a daily thing, bullies ran the hallways, assaults in our community seemed overwhelming. As a young girl, the fear was real and there seemed to be no escaping it. I knew it was just a matter of time before I might fall victim to the whim of evil. Watching the news was only affirmation that we lived in an unsafe and powerful world and strong people were threats to my personal safety. My soul was cornered by fear, terrified to live but happy to be alive if that even makes sense.
Over the years, I avoided people or environments that involved intense emotions, violence, power, anger, usually alcohol was center stage. Making the wrong move in public, saying something negative to someone, feeling angry myself, being around large groups, being around people who were drinking, hearing people argue, watching wrestling or boxing on tv or in real life triggered me into a flight mode. 

Emotional Fear: Becoming a Mom was the greatest joy and the greatest fear in my life. How was I going to keep my baby safe (physical) and make all the right choices (emotional)?! What if I messed up, what if other Moms saw my “less than” because my kids didn’t have the new trendy clothes, or didn’t like veggies, didn’t have a bday party every year, what if teachers judged me that my kids didn’t have a salad in their daily lunch or a homemade cookie or thought I was uncaring for not making cupcakes for the class on every party day. Fear always says what if you don’t measure up...everyone will know.

People pleasing was a coping mechanism to avoid arguments and conflict. I am a Lead with the Heart personality, yet inside fear was the guiding voice of all my “shouldas” and “havetas.” Decisions were made based on the presumed consequesnces if I didn’t do something rather than seeing the blessings if I did. Keeping peace and felling protection meant I was passive. Often, a doormat. It was just easier, so I felt. I easily followed and never led. Fear created what felt like a sort of safe zone for me. Power triggered fear. Strong personalities were loose canons to me. Loudness was intimidating. Parties and crowds felt like traps not quickly escaped.

Fear keeps us running circles around our own thoughts and controls our behaviors. Fear shrinks us but faith strengthens us. To be sure, I am a Christ Follower, I have faith...I just didn’t know how to have safe courage. Bravery, boldness, and leadership seemed like it was something everyone else had and some thing I just didn't have. The End. So I thought.

Fear has been a clever and quiet controller almost all my life. Perfectionism and people pleasing shaped me and guarded me even though my heart had hidden joy for life inside. The mask of Joy I wore daily seemed real. I had become really good at hiding insecurity and fear. Fear shackled my joy. Any decision that could involve conflict or failure were avoided to certain degrees in every area of my life. I still married, still became a Mom, still served in ministry and leadership but it was all done in shackled joy.

But God...The Lord is not going to sit back and watch His children remain shackled. We’ve been created for a purpose and equipped to accomplish it through Him and His strength, despite our weaknesses and insecurities because He is able, because He is Lord and He created each of us with a purpose in mind. His Grace is more than enough and we can walk in it boldly, confidently and powerfully. 

I used to fear-fear God. After all, He’s very powerful. But in His grace, and in the battle for my joy in the heavenly places I cannot see, He has been fighting for me. The very thing that terrified me, He’s been doing on my behalf, fighting huge battle to protect me, and not harm me. He has shown me that fighting is often necessary and righteous fear, fearing the right things is healthy. I am thankful for the gift of discernment I have always had to sense evil intentions but instead of the awareness crippling me, it now empowers me to be on guard and aware. There is a real battle for our hearts and our minds and we actually do have to fight. We should get angry about injustice and sin, while not sinning. We need fear in its rightful place under our feet. It can motivate us, but it will not lead us.

For us shy and recovering insecure girls, sensing power in ourself is scary at first. Those of you with bold, courageous personalities probably won’t understand any of this and it’s ok but I pray it opens your eyes to give extra grace to those in your life facing their fears, that you may lead by patient example, interceding for the release of the chains that hold them down.

Shackles are breaking and joy is being released! The weight of expectations, is so heavy. As Worship increases, so do Faith and Peace. Faith deepens our trust and when we trust deeper, we have Peace and when we have Peace, we have joy. As I learn to walk courageously against fear, my joy has increased. I recognize on this side of healing that fear is something that can shrink while courage magnifies joy, hope, faith and love. There is no joy in fear. If you feel scared, depleted, anxious, exhausted, cornered, judged, useless...you would be wise to check what you are bound to. A spirit bound to fear will drown but a spirit bound to Christ will soar. 

Friend, the Cross has set you free because of the blood of Jesus. The enemy knows this and is hoping you forget! This is why I blog and am kicking down walls fear built because I know I haven't been alone in this and I have experienced this beautiful freedom and can't help but share it to release the hold of fear for just one other person. I get it. Our minds are powerful things but the enemy seeks to control it and you must saturate yourself in The Word and dwell on the Truths in there. Once you wrap your head around the fact you are a Child of God, you have the victory in battle, you have the power of the Holy God living in you as a Believer...your world will change! The way you see it and the way you live it.

You are gonna have to fight! Yes, it will be awkward at first but it will free you! Fear can stop growing but you have to take charge! You have to step out in Grace and Faith with zeal and trust! You are more than a conqueror friend and there is more to this life than you just getting through it. You do have a purpose. Your paycheck, your title, your social media likes are not affirmation to your value. You are made in the image of God and were created for a life of purpose and hope, life and joy, peace that surpasses all understanding. You can walk through fire. You can do amazing things scared. Just lean into His strength and receive grace to make mistakes knowing you aren't a failure. You are simply figuring it out by faith. 

Ask the Lord to show you the people in your life who are authentically walking by faith and not fear. I would dare to say He has placed people around you with the iron sharpening tools you need but you've been too afraid to approach them and truly embrace relationships with them, because you're too afraid of being hurt or of failing in front of them. Cut off those fears and go to them. Share with them the journey you are on and let them see your heart. Ask them to be praying for you and ask for mentorship or wisdom in areas in your life you want to grow. I could not have done it without mine. 

Take courage and take up your iron. It's time to get up and gird up! Oh how grateful I am to have these iron sharpeners in my life, and some are unaware of their witness of example to me. I see them. They encourage me greatly.

Do not allow the enemy to shackel your joy anymore. Today, choose Joy. Today, stop fearing fear, stop worrying about measuring up to others or with others. Turn back your eyes to the Cross of Victory and look at the Empty Tomb of a risen Lord who dwells with you as you go and has conquered death. You are not alone and life will not ever be perfect and easy. But God. He stands near with outstretched arms to hold you close and show you The Way to joy, peace, and love. Love has set you FREE! Now walk in it!‬‬

Romans 8: "5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 

6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!" 

16 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 

17 and if children, then heirs--heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.

18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 

27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 

28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 

32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 

33 Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. 

34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died--more than that, who was raised--who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. 

35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 

36 As it is written, "For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered." 

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 

38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 

39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." 

There are many verses in The Bible on fear, hope, courage, confidence and joy. Type whatever you are struggling with in the search bar of your Bible App or look in the index in the back of your Bible and start reading and reflecting on Truth! It is the Power to set you FREE!

“To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God, who created all things, so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. This was according to the eternal purpose that he has realized in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in Him.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭3:8-12‬ ‭ESV

Teaching our kids how to Overcome Problems with Praise

It's one thing to teach your kids about how to deal with stressful situations and a whole other to have to show them! Our actions will validate or destroy our words.
After the kids had some dental work done yesterday morning, we headed out for some breakfast and errands before we left the mainland. (It's an 1.5hr drive home.)
PROBLEMS:
Just a few miles from the office at a huge intersection, my car freaks out! My break pedal starting lifting against my foot while I was breaking!! Then the power steering went out!! I was in the turn lane to make a u-turn! That wasn't gonna happen. I didn't even know if I'd get all the way across it before my car died. Or, if I was losing my break and was gonna run into the guy in front of me!
Good news, got to side street, pulled up into sidewalk of street (no curbs here!) I was off to the side safely and under a tree! Next to a gas station!
Turned off car, popped hood-no Fire. No problem! Called mechanic and told me can't drive it. Belt was gone! Called tow truck.
To make long story short, we waited almost 4hrs for tow truck to show up but thanks to generous ladies, we were able to go to store to get drinks and donuts and air conditioning.
The kids were frustrated and I was exhausted and frustrated. Their pain meds also were wearing off! We had left the house at 5:20am and we should have been home at Noon. But here we are sitting at a car repair shop in a city we don't know at 4pm...tired, hungry, not feeling well.
I wanted to loose it.
I wanted to yell at the wreckers for canceling and then being hours later than promised.
I wanted to yell at the insurance company who would only pay to tow it to nearest shop where I broke down and not my own hometown.
I wanted to yell at the kids to stop fussing and complaining.
I wanted to yell at God for not granting us a salary that allows us to have bought a new vehicle.
The kids wanted to yell because they missed rehearsals and our big pool party at church!!
I wanted to yell just cuz I felt like yelling! Somehow yelling will jolt the universe back into a perfect way right?!?
Wrong.
Thankfully I am not an outward exploder...but I do yell inside where only my heart freaks out!
What do we accomplish by yelling? Exploding externally or internally? Nothing. Well, we actually do a lot of damage, accomplishing nothing to move us forward, but only moving us where we feared we would end up...to only end up there because we took ourselves there one step or word at a time.
The shop manager commended me on my calm demeanor and good behavior of bored and tired kids. He said people usually are cursing at this point in a day like ours.

May we be seen as the salt and light of the earth, a city on a hill! Not a torch on a hunt!
PRAISES:
But God.....God has given us glorious provisions. Because yelling accomplishes nothing and praise accomplishes everything!! I had watching eyes and listening ears. I had a God who I trusted was with me helping me manage. I had an opportunity to allow my actions to be my words. As a parent, we say a lot, but how often do we get the chance to show them in real life? How can we overcome our problems? We count our blessings. Disciplining ourselves to find the blessings keeps ours hearts and minds focused on our victory and hope. It keeps Satan from getting a foothold. Remaining calm helps us think and process more clearly.

Counting our blessings:
*We broke down in town at 10mph, not on the freeway at 70mph.
*We broke down in the shade under a tree God provided like Jonah had, not under the open sun.
*We have insurance that covers towing even if it wasn't where I wanted it to take me.
*We met kind Mamas only 5 min away we could trust at the office to take us to a store, we were not left without help.
*While my husband was out of state unable to come help, he was able to talk to us on the phone to offer help.
*We were in a safe place, with air conditioning and wifi, and ice cold sodas to offer!!
*Even though I left so early in the morning, my friend was able to go over and check on my puppy.
*The shop rented us a loaner so we could go eat dinner from 5-6pm while they repaired the belt they just happened to be able to get last minute.

*We we were able to get the car fixed and drive it home.

*Our drive home was uneventful and we arrived safe and sound.

God was actually very gracious to us today and I praise Him for all He allowed to happen and not to happen.

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12

"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:21

"Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 

Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." Deuteronomy 6:5-7

Love is in the Dirt too!

"I waited patiently for the LORD; He inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD."  Psalm 40: 1-3

Have you ever felt like you were in a pit? The ground in which you found yourself standing became dusty, crawling with critters and it was gonna be a doozy to get out of? Maybe you are in one right now. How big is your pit? Enough to twist your ankle and limp on a little or is it over your head and you stand in darkness? No matter your pit, God can rescue you!
There is no such thing as "A perfect person." (Otherthan Christ Jesus, of course!) No one has it all together even if it seems to you they do. Everyone gets hurt sometimes. Everyone makes a mistake sometimes. Everyone looses their cool sometimes. Everyone responds in ways they wish they hadn't sometimes. Some times, we find ourselves in a pit. A pit of betrayal. A pit of anger. A pit of loss. A pit of addiction. A pit of loneliness. A pit of depression. A pit of lies. A pit of rejections. A pit of laziness. A pit of rebellion. A pit of debt. There are a lot of pits which anyone can fall into, sometimes.
I think we tend to look at other people and think they've got it easy or that they never fall. I believe this is a clever lie Satan plants in our hearts, not so much in way of comparison...but by exalting another person above us, we then lower our own adequacy and it heightens our awareness of our imperfections. We tell ourselves things like I am a failure...I can't win this battle...I'm not good enough...Things will never get better...Someone else can do it better...I'm a looser...I will never conquor this thing...It's no use...I am nothing. 
And if we have any sense of hope in our heart, we will turn towards God and then pitifully sit in shame, fear, lacking anything to present as "good" before our Gracious and Holy God. And yet, God is the Perfecter of our Faith, Strength in our weakness and a rescue in times of need. Just as He drew Peter up out of the pit of disbelief in the water, just as He brought Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego out of the pit of fire of injustice, just as God gave provision and protection to Daniel in the lion's den and Jonah from the pit of disobedience in the belly of the whale...God will rescue us too. God is a God who gathers together His people in His ark and delivers them from death. Over and over in the scriptures, we find God in the depths and dirt with us.
I am soooo thankful that God meets me where I am along my journey and even if I find myself stepping in a pit, He has "heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God." He is not a God who sits on the throne judging and shaking His head. He is compassionate and empowering, as He sent His Son to the dirt of the earth to place His feet on the road marked with suffering, in order that we can see Him, feel Him, touch Him, and by His infinite Grace and Mercy, be saved by Him from the pit of darkness. 
Lord, thank You for being a God and Savior that knows when I fall into a filthy pit and graciously draws me out of it. I know my tears are heard and seen. Help me Lord God to be a demonstrator of your Amazing Grace and Compassion as You "set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.." May others see You and fear You. May my life be a testimony to Your healing from less paths with pits to more paths of righteousness. May others trust You for their rescue as I testify how You alone rescued me!! Thank You for Your sweet, sweet Love, that can even be found amongst the dirt. 
PS. See the glass heart in the dirt? Love and Hugs right when you need one! We KNOW He loves us but there are times when you just need to know-know. Sweet Lord!!!

"And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen His glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John bore witness about him, and cried out, "This was he of whom I said, 'He who comes after me ranks before me, because he was before me.'") And from His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ." John 1:14-17

Rescued from the Pit

"Now Israel loved Joseph more than any other of his sons, because he was the son of his old age. And he made him a robe of many colors. But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peacefully to him. And his brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the saying in mind. They saw him from afar, and before he came near to them they conspired against him to kill him. They said to one another, "Here comes this dreamer. But when Reuben heard it, he rescued him out of their hands, saying, "Let us not take his life." Genesis 37:3-4, 11, 18-19, 21

Jealousy. False accusations. Anger. Betrayal. Intercession.  If we are honest, we have all experienced one of more of these at one time or another in our life, as the one who was the "accuser" and the one who was "accused."

Here in Genesis, Joseph is favored by his father and his brothers are jealous. It is not recorded that Joseph was skipping around singing, " I am the favorite, nanny-nanny-boo-boo." He is portrayed as a good 17 year old kid, obedient and caring, and one who sees the things of God (in dreams). And yet, his brothers could hardly stand it enough. The brother's jealousy came to the point of plotting a forever separation, a quick decision to put Joseph to death. The moment they saw him from afar coming to them (to care for them mind you), they were lock and loaded, ready to kill. If it weren't for big brother Rueben speaking up and taking action, Joseph would not have been spared. Reuben interceded on Joseph's and probably their Dad's behalf too knowing he was so favored. 

"So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe, the robe of many colors that he wore. And they took him and threw him into a pit. The pit was empty; there was no water in it. Then they sat down to eat. And looking up they saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead, with their camels bearing gum, balm, and myrrh, on their way to carry it down to Egypt. Then Judah said to his brothers, "What profit is it if we kill our brother and conceal his blood? Come, let us sell him to the Ishmaelites, and let not our hand be upon him, for he is our brother, our own flesh." And his brothers listened to him." Genesis 37:23-27

Can you even imagine what Joseph must have been going through during all of this?! Righteous anger and deep grief fills my heart for him. How terrifying. He was innocent. He had come to check on his brothers and they betrayed him not just once, but twice! First, into a deep pit without water and you know he had to have put up a fight although the scriptures don't say, then thanks once again to big bro, he then escapes certain death and but is sold into slavery, which was obviously a divine appointment of rescue from God.

"The LORD was with Joseph, and he became a successful man, and he was in the house of his Egyptian master. One day, when he went into the house to do his work and none of the men of the house was there in the house, she caught him by his garment, saying, "Lie with me." But he left his garment in her hand and fled and got out of the house. And as soon as she saw that he had left his garment in her hand and had fled out of the house, she called to the men of her household and said to them, "See, he has brought among us a Hebrew to laugh at us. He came in to me to lie with me, and I cried out with a loud voice." Genesis 39:2, 11-14 

Sold to Pharaoh as a servant, he is once again betrayed, falsely accused! But another intercessor was there-God! He rescued Joseph from yet another pit. "And Joseph's master took him and put him into the prison, the place where the king's prisoners were confined, and he was there in prison. But the LORD was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love and gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison." Genesis 39:20-21 

They say words are a lamp into the soul. Look at Joseph's words here: "For I was indeed stolen out of the land of the Hebrews, and here also I have done nothing that they should put me into the pit." Genesis 40:15 His heart was pure, calm, innocent and trusting. 

"Then Pharaoh sent and called Joseph, and they quickly brought him out of the pit. And when he had shaved himself and changed his clothes, he came in before Pharaoh. Joseph answered Pharaoh, "It is not in me; God will give Pharaoh a favorable answer." Genesis 41:14, 16  Pure, calm, innocent, trusting. I wonder if Joseph would ever be anxious anymore as God continues to rescue him from the pits he seemingly is a magnet for! Joseph was placed into this position of honor at the age of 30 years old. He had been held back in the pit for many long years and yet, look at his demeanor, his heart. I am not sure I would have been so calm or kind. His brothers betrayed him, desiring to kill him! They sold him to slavery. Yet he says, "I was stolen out of the land of the Hebrews." Even in the face of what is absolute truth, he doesn't talk disrespectfully of his evil-plotting and jealous brothers. He doesn't slander or plot revenge. He could have easily been plotting his revenge on his brothers for the moment he was able to ever escape and be free. 

"But the LORD was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love." First, put in a pit. Then sold as a slave. Praise God? Would you have seen that as rescue? Then falsely accused of sexual immorality and put back into the pit. Praise God? It was there in the pit God used him as His spokesperson. Would you ever consider a trial as evidence of God's rescue from something bad to something better? Joseph doesn't know what's on the other side of those brick walls, but he experiences God's steadfast love through it. If there was ever someone who had just cause to get even, plot revenge, be angry, gossip about the injustice brought onto him, it was Joseph. His anger did not cause him to sin. He trusted God brick wall after brick wall. And then, his dreams/prophesies are fulfilled and the brothers are now standing unaware, before the brother they hated. The youngest, hated, Daddy's favorite baby boy was standing before them as their "Life Giver." Once in a place of victim, now Joseph stands in the place of rescuer. The tables have turned to say the least! Two things could have happened, a fleshly opportunity for revenge or a righteous return of God's mercy and rescue. 

"Then Joseph could not control himself before all those who stood by him. He cried, "Make everyone go out from me." So no one stayed with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. And he wept aloud, so that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard it. And Joseph said to his brothers, "I am Joseph! Is my father still alive?" But his brothers could not answer him, for they were dismayed at his presence. So Joseph said to his brothers, "Come near to me, please." And they came near. And he said, "I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life." Genesis 45:1-5 

We have two choices when we are thrown into our "pit." We can use that time to plot evil in our flesh, be angry, anxious, grow bitter...doubting God is actively working on our behalf or we can rest in God's steadfast love, trusting by faith His Love, knowing He has a greater plan for us on the other side of the bricks. Believers are not immune to illness, persecutions, trials. The Bible is clear that we all face everything but that we as Believers can walk in peace, comfort and hope, as we remember the faithfulness and enduring strength we have the choice to claim as ours, in Christ Jesus. 

Perhaps you are guilty of sin, and the Lord is disciplining you out His great love for you...be quick to confess your sin, repent and turn from it and stop falling deeper into your "pit." Receive the intercession of the Holy Spirit Himself who may also move through someone else to bring you out of your pit. God gives us each other to help, intercede and encourage so that when we face a trial, we are reminded that we are not alone. What a reminder for us to be aware of those in "pits" around us. Maybe God is sending you to be their rescue. Are you one who sees the things of God and walks in the confidence of Him?

Whatever you are facing, praise the Lord, keep your heart pure, calm, trusting that even though you may be innocent, He is working out something better. He will send you rescue even if it might not look like rescue and you are put in one "pit" after another, seeing only glimpses of sunlight. Can we still praise Him? Will your heart turn from God or toward God? His blessing and recuse for your obedience is near. You will find peace despite your illness, your betrayal, your reputation, your seemingly failures. It may come in the way of an earthy rescue but it may not come till The Refuge of your Soul holds you in His arms in Heaven. Is there anything more we could desire than intimacy with God Himself? A heart fuller of the things of Him? Sweet fellowship with God Almighty, our Fortress and Strength. Here on earth, sanctification will be a journey of pits and valleys, mountains and streams. How will you go through them? 

"See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit." 1 Thessalonians 5:15-19

God , rescue us from our pits and may our lips praise Your Precious Name regardless of how many bricks capture us. We want to trust You without waver. Give us Your strength and mercy that we might endure in our faith. God, we surrender our hearts to You, mold them and shape them to be like Yours, calm, pure, honest, innocent and pure. Our hope is in You, no matter. We trust You, no matter. God, help us hear You clearly when You speak. 

What Spills Out Matters

OOOPPPS!!! TOO MANY THINGS IN MY HANDS!! I was carrying my Carry All bag, my purse, my sunglasses, my coffee mug and my Bible and as I leaned over to grab my keys, CRASH!! My Bible slipped out falling to ground and EVERYTHING fell out. UGH! Really, when is it ever a good time to drop something and have to spend time cleaning it up?!? I think...never!

Past church bulletins, children's color sheets, meeting notes, bookmarks, sermon notes jotted on a piece of paper when I had forgotten my journal. It all fell out. I've always held my Bible close as it was much like a Diary to me and the thought of someone seeing some of my personal notes would have been devastating. It wasn't until I noticed a friend of mine continually opening and sharing her Bible with others that God began to show me how my Bible was something I should be opening wide and not covering up before others. One day she asked me to look something up in hers and the thought crossed my mind how she must really trust me with something so personal. 

God used this "sharing your Bible" thing to teach me on a deeper level that although we should be clinging to and guarding the Word, we should freely give it and share it. Therefore, what's on the inside matters. Taking this to a deeper level...if I open my Bible, or my heart to someone, what will they see inside? What does GOD see inside? I pray goodness and truths and hope are found. Whatever spills out, I pray it's good. This means I must be careful with my choices, and choose wisely what I hold on to.

"For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit, for each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thornbushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:43-45 

When you are knocked down, what spills out? Good or evil? Good fruit or bad fruit? What you hold onto in your heart matters. Although no one wants to admit that "evil" comes out of us, we must be honest and own our sin. Sin is evil.

"And He said, "What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness.  All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person." Mark 7:20-23 

It is never a good time to get knocked down. But it's only we are put to the test and shaken that what's on the inside can be honestly revealed. When something doesn't go your way, or someone says something ugly or incorrect about you, or even when the warfare against you is strong, what thoughts burst from within your heart and mind...and mouth? Remember that we also have to clean up our spill. The messier it is, the harder and longer it will take to clean up. 

Obviously when we are hurt, we are going to feel hurt, say we are hurt and even shed tears from being hurt, but what is attached to that hurt as it comes out? Gossip, revenge, deceit, bitterness, hatred? Or does your heart immediately cry out to the Lord for Him to take a hold of it as it breaks? Falling at the feet of Jesus and letting Him act on our behalf, strengthening in us at the same time with peace, forgiveness, self-control.

Like the commercial goes, "What's in your wallet?" Today, we must ask "What's in your heart?"

Forgiving and Just God,

How I pray for a heart that pleases You. When life shakes me up, give me eyes to see what You see in me that I may get rid of all the evil inside as it oozes out and fill my heart and soul with all that is good. Guide me Holy Spirit in self-control to make daily choices that led me on a path of goodness and mercy, purity and peace. Help me guard the influences around me, turning from all evil and taking in what is Good. Open my heart Father God and pour into me Your goodness and mercy, Your compassion and love and may I be bolder in sharing it with others. Your Word is a light unto my path, healing to my heart. Help me to hide Your Holy Word, engraving it into the depths of my mind, heart and soul so I may claim it's promises and power and rebuke the evil that tries to penetrate within it. I pray that when it is broken that it bleeds Your Blood which covers all my sin. Thank You Lord for Your perfect love. Be the core of me. Amen.

Please Wait...Warming Up!

Sunday I was needing to make some copies for the kiddos and I had just enough time to make them. Afterall, I only needed 8 small copies. I could do that in 15 minutes, for sure.

Trying to save time, I headed to the downstairs copier which I hardly ever use. I clicked the button and it displayed "Warming up" on the panel. Hurry, Hurry...only have a second to warm up, I've got to go!!  As it warmed up, I got my papers ready to go....but I could not find the by-pass tray for my card stock. Well, maybe it handles both types of paper through it's feeder. Nope!! Paper jam! I soooo didn't have time for THAT!

I quickly took care of the paper jam and ran upstairs to the use the copier I was familiar with and could almost work on with my eyes closed! Cardstock in the by pass tray, 8 copies please..."Please wait. Warming up..." What?!?! I HAVE been waiting and you should already be warmed up Mr Big Copy Machine!!! I was surely out of minutes now!! It was just 8 copies I needed!!!

Anger at the machine filled me, as if it was the machine's fault that it was doing what was necessary to get me what I needed. By this time, I was sure that my group had gathered and I was missing out on the prayer time, more anger but this time at myself for not just coming up here to begin with when I knew it would get the job done. I put my hands on the Big Copier and took a deep breath, angry yet knowing I was doing all I could. In that pause, I began to  feel the calmness and correction of the Holy Spirit in that moment. 

Peace be still. 

Do not sin in your anger. 

Wait on Me. 

Be patient. 

All things work together for good.

The copier had to have that warming up time to work properly. After what seemed like 300 minutes, the display changed to "Ready." At the push of the button, copies were made and my task was done, making it downstairs to the bowing of the heads for our prayer time. Gracious God.

How much more efficient would we be if we too had a "warming up" period. Each time we approached a decision or situation a display read, "Please wait. Warming up...." Wouldn't we benefit in our efficiency if we took the time to wait and warm up, waiting on God to say "Ready." 

I was reminded today of a few things:

* While trying new things can be good, there are some truths that we must stick to so we don't end up in a "jam."

* Be careful who you hold responsible for your thoughts. They are yours afterall.

* Take time to "warm up." There is a reason athletes warm up and stretch before they compete, so they don't get hurt. Take that time to pause, take a deep breath inhaling the wisdom of God into our mind and soul.

* Wait till HE says you're "Ready." We should neither rush ahead of God or drag behind.

Father God,

There is no one as long suffering as You. Your patience and endurance are infinite. To You, time has an eternal view but for us, it's ticking away. The older we get, the faster it seems to go. Until we find ourselves in Glory where there is no timeline, help us manage the time here on Earth efficiently, in our bodies that are wasting away. Help us to wait and not rush the tasks You have before us. In our "warming up" periods, we ask the Holy Spirit to give us self-control in the moments that seem to take longer than we want them to. Help us trust You and Your perfect timing for everything we face. Your ways are good. Your ways are right.
Thank You Gracious God for having the Way and the plan for everything we face today and forever. Help us learn the discipline of "warming up" in You. In Your Son's Eternally Faithful Name, we pray, amen.

Psalm 25

"To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul. 2 O my God, in You I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me. 3 Indeed, none who wait for You shall be put to shame; they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous. 4 Make me to know Your ways, O LORD; teach me Your paths. 5 Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You I wait all the day long. 

6 Remember Your mercy, O LORD, and Your steadfast love, for they have been from of old. 7 Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to Your steadfast love remember me, for the sake of Your goodness, O LORD! 8 Good and upright is the LORD; therefore He instructs sinners in the way. 9 He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble His way. 10 All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep His covenant and His testimonies. 

11 For Your name's sake, O LORD, pardon my guilt, for it is great. 12 Who is the man who fears the LORD? Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose. 13 His soul shall abide in well-being, and his offspring shall inherit the land. 14The friendship of the LORD is for those who fear Him, and 

He makes known to them His covenant.

15 My eyes are ever toward the LORD, for He will pluck my feet out of the net. 16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. 17 The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. 18 Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins. 19Consider how many are my foes, and with what violent hatred they hate me. 20 Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me! Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in You. 21 May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for You. 22 Redeem Israel, O God, out of all his troubles."