Life of Grace

You think you're happy until one day you smile so much, your cheeks hurt. You think you rule your world until the day your world turns upside-down. You think you're faith is everything until Jesus reminds you He is everything. 

The presence of God sends chills through the tiny hairs on your arms and you learn it's the presence of your Spirit rejoicing from the inside out. You think you can do it, until God shows you how He's gonna do it. You think you have enough money, until the unexpected happens. You think you will live a full, long life until that tumor appears. 

We sure do a lot of thinking. 

The world is full of assumptions but one thing we do not have to make assumptions about is our Lord Jesus. According to the Scriptures, Christ Jesus is the Cornerstone, our strong Foundation. The Lord is our Redeemer, King, Father, Refuge, Friend, Shield, Answer, Protector and Sweetest Love. He is faithful, just, righteous, steadfast, enduring, long-suffering, gracious, merciful and mighty. In the simplest of human languages and definitions, these are the characteristics and promises of Our Savior which hardly do justice to defining an infinite God. He's so much more than we can think or imagine. 

All knowing, all seeing, all able, ever present is He. It is written, He is LORD over all. All our worry. All our fear. All our plans. All our blessings. All our bodies. All the principalities. All. He is All.

"However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” — the things God has prepared for those who love him— these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. 

For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. 

This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words. 

The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit." 1 Corinthians 2: 9-14 NIV

Ecclesiastes reminds us there will be times for everything in this life. As countless as the stars in the sky are the numerous variables on this side of Heaven for you to be able to figure things out and have an unshakable, fortified plan outside of living by faith, for grace, by hope, with trust and in love.. In the economy of God A + B does not always = C. But rest assured Jesus + God + Holy Spirit = Life. E v e r y  s i n g l e  time.

Whatever you are facing today, seek the Lord. With Him you will have life. With Him you will have peace and joy even through tears and questions of sufferings. He is our Healer and Counselor for all the hurts. Life is not fair or predictable. But God is. We are weak, but He is strong. Don't forget, there is an enemy working against you, to keep you from experiencing a gracious and joy-filled life. 

So, how do we live by faith and feel purposeful and ready for whatever comes our way? By spending time leaning into God, learning who He is through daily Bible reading, fellowship through Bible studies, in songs of worship, and by the testimonies of others of like-minded faith. Arming yourself with His armor and not just your plans. Knowing who God is, the One you are placing all your hopes and fears in, the greatest Love of your soul, waits ready to meet with you and reveal His love to you every day. You will find Him if you seek Him. He isn't seeking your lip service and He isn't fooled by our masks.

He is am amazing God who saves sinners by grace, who extended the Peace offering, with grace. Your sins and my sins have earned us an eternity in the lake of fire and gnashing of teeth, but by the Grace Giver our Lord, He sent His Son to pay the debt we owe and we are found in Him righteous. Wow. That's everything. We have redemption forever in Him. We have life ever lasting in Him. Today and always, we have comfort, peace, joy, purpose, in Him. He is the same yesterday, today and forever, amen! Will you choose today, to accept and live in this life of Grace?

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." 

2 Corinthians 4:17 NIV

Prayer: Father God, Lord over All, we pray according to the Scriptures we may be found faithful in You..."Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything. 

We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also." 

2 Corinthians 6: 4-13 NIV May it be so, amen. Here is where we live, not in the black and white, rather Where Faith is. 

Worship in Song here: 

A Pace Setter

 I confess. At first, it annoyed me. Coming from the big city outlined with freeways 4 lanes wide where vehicles took the speed limits as bare MINIMUMS, driving through a small town with only 1 lane in either direction...where everyone went the EXACT speed as was posted, was annoying to say the least. And it didn't matter that we gave them a little "push" as we stared into their mirrors and closed in the space gap between our car and theirs. They didn't budge. 
These cars held their place, at their pace, which happened to be the right pace, a seemingly sloooooooow 40mph through most of the highway, so it felt. Until we moved here and the seemingly sloooooooow one lane highway was now our highway. 
In our little town, there are hardly any traffic lights which means it takes great precision and caution to get across the mostly steady flow of vehicles. School buses and city buses make their stops along this small town highway. We must be careful and curtious traveling through town being aware of pedestrians, animals (iguanas, peacocks, ducks, Key Deer to name a few) and other vehicles trying to make their way to the other side. 
40mph still seems too slow whenever I am running late (that hardly ever happens, lol) and when it is the time of day when there aren't many cars out and the open road is vast...you wanna go fast. But, there are also times when the 40mph seem too fast during high traffic times. Funny, now I find myself annoyed because people are pushing me to go faster. Oh how the tables can turn! 
Now that this small town is my small town, I am thankful for those who have held their place and held their pace. I know just as the big city drivers attempting to "push" their way through have had their patience tested (I can testify to that truth), so has the patience of the locals (I can also now testy to that as truth!) been tested. Now as a local resident, I know the roads, I know the community, I know the cautions to be heeded, and that is why I will hold my place, and my pace. We, the locals, are the pace setters for this community. We wisely hold our place and our pace, because it is for the common good. "One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless." Proverbs 14:16
I believe God instructs us throughout Scriptures to be Pace Setters. "Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us." Titus 2:7-8 He tells us to be wise, guard our ways, encourage one another and sharpen one another, mentor and teach the younger generations His Ways. God sent Jesus as our Pace Setter. He shows us The right Way, Romans 8:28, for the good of those who love Him. He held His place, and went His pace. 
As we mature in our faith (just as in life), our understandings, knowledge, and history strengthen our faith, our beliefs and our resolve. Wisdom is our hope, setting our place and pace in this life. Wisdom lays foundations which are thicker, roots that are deeper and faith without boundaries. We are not as easily "pushed" around, tossed to and fro.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
Bless the "local" Pace Setters in this world! The ones who bless our lives with accountability, teaching us and mentoring us in The Word. Those who step out and speak out in faith daily, walking in a way that is pleasing to God, and not man. Bless those who are strong and courageous in this life. They seem so few and far between. Some of us are trying to find our place but have no pace, and some of us have a steady pace but in the wrong place. Oh, to be in the right place, at the right pace, to steady a shaking world, to keep things moving in one direction when everyone else is trying so hard to get around you. Don't you wish you could be a Pace Setter too?!? For the glory of God?!? I can't help but think, as a Christ Follower, aren't we all called to be a Pace Setter, for the good of our "community" in a watching world...and for each other, as iron sharpens iron?

Lord my God, You are the King of kings, our Righteous Ruler and Ultimate Authority over all things, people and principalities. I praise Your Holy Name. Thank You God for the example of Your Son, Christ Our Lord, as The Ultimate Pace Setter in this world. May we too be found as Your faithful followers, and leaders, Lights in the darkness and Salt of the earth. Keep us strong Holy Spirit, leading us in the Way of righteousness for Your Name's sake. Lead us away from temptation to conform into this dying world and renew a right and clean heart of endurance and strength within us. Be our Shield and Shepherd against the folly of evil one as he seeks to turn us away from You. Give us wisdom as we seek Your face through faith as we grow in knowing You personally. Guard our thoughts and steady our resolve. Set our place. Set our pace.
Thank You Lord for those who have boldly and courageously chosen to be a Pace Setter in Your Name, to show us our place at The Cross and teach us the pace of Your Spirit. Those who stand as one of Your "locals" and hold their place at The Cross, moving at the pace of the Holy Spirit. Bless them and use them to teach those of us who desire to be stronger and more courageous, for we believe You are with us wherever we go and it is our desire to walk in a way that brings honor to You. Forgive us when we get out of pace with You, or when we choose selfish ways. Our Rock, our Redeemer, our Refuge and Resolve, our place is with You. Strength and quicken our pace with Yours, amen.

I'm NOT "normal." Living with Hope and not Fear. That's MY normal.

Panic attacks involve sudden feelings of terror that strike without warning. These episodes can occur at any time, even during sleep. A person experiencing a panic attack may believe that he or she is having a heart attack or that death is imminent. The fear and terror that a person experiences during a panic attack are not in proportion to the true situation and may be unrelated to what is happening around them. Most people with panic attacks experience several of the following symptoms:

• "Racing" heart
• Feeling weak, faint, or dizzy
• Tingling or numbness in the hands and fingers
• Sense of terror, or impending doom or death
• Feeling sweaty or having chills
• Chest pains
• Breathing difficulties
• Feeling a loss of control

Panic attacks are generally brief, lasting less than 10 minutes, although some of the symptoms may persist for a longer time. People who have had one panic attack are at greater risk for having subsequent panic attacks than those who have never experienced a panic attack. When the attacks occur repeatedly, a person is considered to have a condition known as panic disorder.

People with panic disorder may be extremely anxious and fearful, since they are unable to predict when the next episode will occur. Panic disorder is fairly common and affects about 2.4 million people in the U.S., or 1.7% of the adult population between the ages of 18 and 54. Women are twice as likely as men to develop the condition, and its symptoms usually begin in early adulthood.

What Is the Outlook for People With Panic Disorder?

Panic disorder can be successfully treated, and sufferers can go on to lead full and satisfying lives. With appropriate treatment, nearly 90% of people with panic disorder can find relief. Unfortunately, many people with panic disorder do not seek treatment. Without treatment, panic disorder can have serious consequences and can severely impair quality of life. Complications of untreated panic disorder include.

• Avoidance. A person may discontinue any activities that seem to trigger a panic attack. This can make a normal work and home life nearly impossible.
• Anticipatory anxiety. This refers to anxiety that is triggered merely by thinking about the possibility of having an anxiety attack.
• Agoraphobia. This is the fear of being in places or situations in which an attack may occur, or from which escape would be difficult or highly embarrassing. This fear can drive people to avoid public places and crowds, and may even progress to the point that the person will not leave his or her home. About one-third of people with panic disorder develop agoraphobia.
• Claustrophobia. The person fears enclosed spaces. 

(The above information was taken from WebMD)

This is the part of me that most people don't know. Hi. My Name is Michele and I used to be The What If Queen, living under the bondage of fear. Today, I live in the freedom of Christ's healing grace. I am known as the shy, peace-maker girl, so I can understand why most people would not or don't understand how I struggled with a life of fear which ultimately led to increasing panic and anxiety attacks. 
God allowed this terrifying season in my life to refine me in the pit. With the intercession prayers and strength of others, counseling and the hard desperate seeking of my own, I found my heart...a heart that beats for God alone. The pit was my journey up! 
This is why I started blogging and writing. It is a documented journey and testimony of the faithfulness of a loving Lord and Father that I pray, pray, pray God would be honored and glorified through. As He presses into my heart, it is my hope to be an instrument of hope, joy, faith, of transparency through these writings. In all I do, think and say, to God be all the glory!

For those of you that struggle with "something," be it panic, anxiety or ptsd from emotional trauma, can I just encourage you for a minute? I get it. I actually prayed the doctors would find something "real" to blame for my struggle. While I was diagnosed with mild SVT, this was a journey with the Lord He allowed to reveal His heart to me by refining mine physically, emotionally and spiritually in The Fire. Compared to a physical trauma, the emotional traumas are so easily "hidden." I have had every single one of those symptoms and outlooks cited from WebMD. It is hard. It is scarey. It does hurt deep. It is embarrassing. But God...He is our strength and order in the chaos. His breath becomes ours. 
You need to know that YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK and ESPECIALLY FEEL!!! It has been said to me, "You just need to trust God more" and "You just have to have more faith." "Remember God will give you all you need" and "It's really not that big of a deal, just do it (whatever "it" is." "You're overreacting." "Everyone can do it what's the big deal?!"
While these things can all be true to a degree, they are not absolutes to the truth. People don't see is the triple amount of prayer and preparations I put into situations and thoughts throughout my day that keep me centered in my spirit, heart and mind. I am healed and yet at the same time, have complete dependance on the work of Christ in and through my life, as well as physical and emotional boundaries that help me manage myself. It's not just the mind that needs to have self control, it's also the physical body. This season also taught me the importance of healthy eating and exercise, and the importance of fellowshiping with like-minded people who love you with the Love of Christ. Laughter is so good for our souls!! 

I am someone who trusts God with all my heart and mind and soul. I believe God is who He says He is and will do all He has said He will and can do. At the same time, I am not going to stop wearing my seatbelt, or jump out of a plane knowing God will catch me, or shall I stand under a boulder and think with God's strength I can catch it. There are limits that rule reason and faith that helps navigate what is truth and wisdom and that which is not! Thankfully, God has healed me from the bondage of panic attacks/disorder, and to a watching world, they think I am perfectly "normal." I have no problem telling you I am perfectly imperfect, and if we all admit we are, well, then we'd all be normal, right?!?

We so easily excuse people with obvious physical ailments and somehow are able to reconcile their "avoidances" but with someone like me who it's "in their head" they just need to "have more faith." There is sooooo much more involved than "nervous thoughts." A "normal" person cannot understand anymore than someone can understand the loss of a child who hasn't themselves experienced such a devastation. And yet we judge according to our own realities and expectations. 
I have longed for many years to be the outgoing, bold, confident, try anything, go-getter kind of girl, but it's not me. Part of this journey has been about me meeting...me. Getting to know the woman God created me to be even if at times I don't like being her, I know there is a plan and purpose for the mess that I am, and the good news...God ain't done with me yet! I have learned to accept (for the most part, even though there are god days and bad), the person He created me to be. God, help us see each other through Your eyes of love and hope."All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. We all have issues, seen and unseen. As I pray for transparency and courage to share my heart and testimony with you through the instrument of this blog, I do not want this to be as much about me as I want this to be more as an encouragement from me...despite me.

Healing takes time physically and emotionally. Going through this very difficult season has blessed me in the greatest way. Desperation caused me to fall into the pit of God's grace. Collapsing into the arms of my God, His breath has warmed me. His arms became my safe resting place. There is no peace like Him. I am so thankful for His very great Love and His tender mercy and compassion. He is patient , steadfast and faithful. 
Yes, there are days my thorn wiggles and I feel the tinge of pain...heart palpitations, the intestinal upsets, the flush and faint feelings, the fatigue physically and emotionally, all the while confident in the strength of my weakness, being strong in the Lord, with a faith that says mountains can move!!! I am continually healing in Him.I thank God even still for the reminder to remain close to Him, trusting and depending on His control and grace. , the palpitations, the intestinal upsets, the flush and faint feelings, the fatigue physically and emotionally, alle while being strong in the Lord, with a faith that says mountains can move!!! I am continually healing in Him.

I refuse to listen to the lies of Satan that says, "You are so weak." "You are worthless." "You are incapable of doing anything great." "You cannot represent God well with someone who has "mental" issues." "You are faithless and a coward." "If people only knew..."

Friend, let me tell you....GREATER is HE that is in you than he who is in the world! You ARE more than a conqueror!!! You HAVE been fearfully and wonderfully made! God goes BEFORE you and God will NEVER fail you!! All you need is hope, faith and love in The One True God. And...I might add...others! You cannot battle this alone. Back in the pit to those who walk with me now, they are instruments of continued grace, love , support and encouragement! 
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." Romans 8:35, 37 (ESV)
Friend, be patient with yourself, God is patient with you. He sees your heart! God knows your heart and not matter what other think or say, let there be NO condemnation in Christ. He will heal your broken pieces and gather you unto Him. You may become weary in the fight, and desperately thirsty in the dry wilderness but God never grows weary and is an endless stream of Living Water! Stand firm! It is in your weakness that He is your strength. He will be your refuge to where you can "run." When the walls around you and darkness closes in, remember that you are not crushed or forsaken. God is doing a work in you and will not give up on you! 

Now, some truth in love...if you are avoiding, hiding out, afraid or choosing to be in "that pit," you must admit to yourself that you are in a pit, dig deep into the depth of your heart and spirit and move into the presence of the Lord where He will scoop you up in His shield. He will be your rescue but you must first acknowledge the darkness and move towards His healing Light. His blood shed over you is already your victory, It's time to start living in it again!! 
One step at a time, one day at a time, step out in faith. Do not get discouraged when others think you are 'silly" or "ridiculous." Trust in the Lord to know and guard your heart. You must not continue to sit and crater under the weight of shame and fear. You are worth dying for and it is not His plan for your spirit to live dying inside. God is LIFE and He wants you to have it abundantly, complete with joy!!! You will have Joy again!!! By faith, will you face today and tomorrow with confidence that you are not alone?
  

Thank You Lord God, my Abba Father for knowing me unlike any other. When I feel lowly, you remind me how special I am. When I feel afraid, You are there to hold me near at perfect peace. When I feel like I have lost my mind, You remind me of the paths that lead me to You with Philippians 4:8 thinkings. Sudden moments of terror that flood my soul, You walk on the water, holding my hand to the shore. God, I dare not test you nor be foolish nor do I want to limit You so I am praying once again for the faith to continue walking in faithfulness to You, knowing wherever You are, there will be my peace. Thank You for Your Light that shines on my path from darkness. There is none like You and I am nothing apart from You. Thank You Lord for Your strength in my weakness. I am asking that You will reveal Yourself in a mighty way to me and my brothers and sisters in Your name who are feeling defeated and purposeless. Will You strengthen them? Will You draw them so close to You they too can feel the warmth of Your very breath over there face? May the comfort of Your arms and the tender love of Your heart be tangible to them today. Thank You Lord for Your grace. Thank You Lord for the victory that is ours because of Your Son Christ Jesus. Thank You Lord for the mustard seed!! I want to be the sum of a vineyard full! Rooted, nourished and protected in the name of Jesus, I am YOURS forever, I love You Lord!!! amen!! 

"We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; " 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 

"So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:1-4

Salt in my Bible

Evidently I didn't clean off my table very good the night before! I know you are probably not surprised, no claim to fame over here as a Super Cleaner, lol! I noticed it the next morning when I picked up my Bible off the table to go my morning study, and there they were, salt granules stuck into the back of my leather Bible. Great, eventhough I wiped off all the salt, it left bunches of tiny markings all over the outer cover. Great, a holey, Holy Bible...kinda funny actually!
Who knew salt could leave marks...and then my spirit stirred, of course.....it should. God tells us in Matthew 5: "You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven." We should be concerned if our salt isn't leaving impressions on the "things" around us. God calls us to be the salt and light. He says, "You are the salt...Let your light shine...so they may see and give glory to God."  As a Believer in Christ Jesus, you have salt to make the world around you saltier. You will leave "holy" impressions. Just as iron sharpens iron, the more salt and light, the saltier and brighter our life becomes, thus more glory to God! 
Interestingly, my days got busy and I am just now returning back to this blog and had wanted to upload a picture of the back cover of my Bible. You know me, visual girl, but to my surprise, the hundreds of little pits were gone. Completely flushed out. The leather eased itself back to the way it was. So, no pictures, but I did get what was meant to be Part 2 of the lesson God was/is teaching me. Although we have been given salt and light, we can loose our salt and light. (Not salvation, but our impact.) And if we loose our saltiness, and if we loose our light, how will we make an impact on the world around us? How will God receive the glory if we aren't even reflecting Him? What impression are we leaving, if any?!
So, if we can get our minds and hearts around the fact that we already have been given salt and light within, (this can be a hard concept to accept for those who struggle with insecurity, low self-esteem, or those whos' faith and trust in God has not been deeply rooted), then how do we remain salty and bright?
I am thankful to be a part of a church that teaches you how to be "holey" as we give glory to a Holy God. God has blessed me personally with some seriously Salty Sisters. You know how when you go to the beach and the second you step out of your car, you can taste the salty air? That's the impression I have when I get close to these women! Plus, you almost have to put on the sunglasses when they speak and serve unto the Lord! Their saltiness, their light, makes holey, Holy impressions in my heart, mind and soul. They certainly season up my life!!!
So, how do we remain salty? Deuteronomy 10:12-14 gives us a list: "And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you, but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all His ways, to love Him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the commandments and statutes of the LORD, which I am commanding you today for your good? Behold, to the LORD your God belong heaven and the heaven of heavens, the earth with all that is in it." 2 Peter 1:5-8 also encourages us "For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ."
Increasing in saltiness means remaining steadfast in the Lord. His Word is life. Be faithful and consistent. While this is a personal thing that only you can do for yourself, you will also be salted when you are around salty people just like when you show up at the beach! Refresh yourself in the Light and Truth of God's Word, fearing, walking, loving, serving Him with all your heart and soul, making every effort to supplement your faith and walk close with others, growing and glowing!
Believer, do not let your light dull. Do not loose your saltiness. God, restore us, we want to glorify you through our lives. Help those of us who are weak in our faith, to draw strength once again in our hope that we truly are Your salt and light in this world. Forgive our laziness. Forgive our unbelief in You.. Help us to remember that Your Holy Spirit dwells within us and that we can be a useful instrument of Your love. Guard us in Your Light that we might be brighter to shine for You in this dark world. May our salt and our light lead the Way, leaving impressions that last. Help us to not become lazy or dull. Make Your Word alive once again to us. Help us to leave a holey Holy impression. Thank you for those you have placed in our lives to light up our paths, those that add lots of spice and flavor to our life and those who shine so bright for You! Replenish them and bless them Lord! Thank You Faithful Lord, amen.