My Mentored Heart

This week, I got to enjoy extra time with two of my AMAZING mentors/friends/accountability partners...my Sisters in Christ. I wonder if I could ever get them all together, not sure my heart could take that much JOY...or possible "loving correction!" (heehee) I am BLESSED to have mentors in my life such as these Godly, Beautiful Women. A mentor is different than a friend. Over the years, God has given me the gift of some very precious friends who's seasons and purposes have been all very different. A mentor however is one God places in your life with intention to "mentor." Webster's defines mentor : a trusted counselor, guide, tutor, coach. You can only imagine what a rare GIFT it is when a mentor is also a friend. That is the case with these women, they have mentored me for several years while also being dear Sisters in Christ. 

There was a time in my life that I didn't even have one and for no other reason than my own "fear" and "trust" issues. Betrayals, feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, fear of judgement, even hopelessness for something better, can keep someone isolated into their own safe, self-contained, lonely bubble. There was a time that was me. Very guarded, very anxious, very limited, very self-controlled, very afraid to be seen. Happy on the outside, scared on the inside. 
Thinking I had to represent Christ in my life by seeming "perfect", it only deepened my isolating self. I hid the real me behind a mask of perfection. It was exhausting but knowing how imperfect I was, I felt I had no other choice than to at least wear the mask! With God's peace, should I complain or worry or have trials, surely not. Otherwise, it says I am sinning against God for everything would be perfect in my life and self, right?! So who in their right mind would admit something was wrong?!?! And I knew I certainly was NOT perfect. I tried till it nearly broke me. Oh, how clever is Satan. He is a deceiver and a liar. 

When the huge 2008 crisis hit, thankfully God had already placed in my life a few Godly women who I could literally fall on. It was up to me to trust them with what was shattered pieces of my heart, mind and spirit. I claimed desperately, Philippians 4:13, knowing I could do all things He asked of me. I chose to trust God with the provisions of help (aka: friendship, counsel and mentor) and I allowed myself to open a tiny space more to let Love come in, and really, it wasn't because I necessarily wanted them in my business, seeing all my imperfections, I knew I needed them in my business. 

What began as a slow trickle of love flowing in, now is an ocean's full!! God has been more than gracious and more merciful than I deserve. There came a place where I couldn't handle "life" on my own. Of course, I have a loving husband and loving family and a great church family had I chosen to let them in, but it was more than I could bear and for these that were close and involved, it was a crisis they too had to endure with me. They needed encouragement I couldn't give and I needed encouragement they couldn't give. We needed more. 

God made it clear that it was time for a new season. It was time for the old to go and the new to come!! I thought I was okay with my "old" until the "new" came. What a DELIGHT!!!! I realized alone I was weak, I was vulnerable. I prayed and asked for rescue and He sent me some! (I am sure I don't need to say it, but I will incase someone reading this doesn't know this: I am assuming we all understand that with God, we are never alone and He is our strength and yes, He is all we need; however, He calls us to live and love one another, confessing our sins to one another, trusting Him ultimately as our provision in which comes all other fleshly provisions....just wanted to make sure we all knew that!) 

Desiring a closer walk with Him, I have learned how to trust GOD fully and allow in what HE wants in. Walls had to come down and these women have had their faithful work gloves on for a few years now, not giving up on me! What a reflection of Christ's Love for us, taking us as we are and yet not leaving us as we are. He has brought these humble, God-fearing women into my life to encourage me, teach me, streeeetch my dorky, quirky, shy self, and boy have I been BLESSED!! Aside from enjoying the GIFTS they are to me, the eternal seeds invested in me have gone further than I could have imagined!! I know these seeds will impact generations, as they already have begun to! 

Today, I love the Lord more intimately, with an open heart, with more confidence and my life has most definitely changed. Who I am, how I approach life, my marriage, how I parent my 4 children, how I handle trials, guarding my relationship with the Lord, my prayer life, my choices, where I spend my energy and time are all direct reflections to the intentional mentoring I have received and from the faithfulness of sweet friends. (Just thinking it sure takes a lot of people to get me where I am today between loving family, church family, friends, mentors...it's okay, I will take all the help I can get!!!) I am no longer satisfied being left alone to work things out....I need the hands and feet of God to help me work things out. Thank God for the Holy Spirit and Proverbs 27:17 Holy Friends:)

While I don't wish for that season of "hell" to have come into my life, it was the price I had to pay for the relationship and life I now have in Christ. It was what broke me and built me new. I am not weak after all.... I am strong. Wouldn't trade it for anything. The freedom I have in Christ today is a direct result of choosing Life and Love in Christ Jesus. I will be the first to admit that I am NOT perfect. Truth is, it's okay, neither are you, or him, or her. I don't even try to appear perfect. My goal is to have such a deep love with God that He lights up my darkness and others can see the Light of Him through my life, mistakes and victories alike. His blood redeems and forgives. His blood covers my imperfections to highlight His perfections. His grace is enough. To hear Him, to see His Word come alive, how can you not smile and get the cheeks so sore from smiling so big?!? I am continually amazed at our Awe-some God. People comment often about my smiling, and that's exactly why I can smile even on the worst of days. My heart may grieve but my spirit rejoices knowing God is near and He sees me and still loves me so. 

My value and my hope for something better has been found in Christ alone! I once saw the world and "love" through the scope of a straw compared to today, as I view life through a panoramic widescreen lens!! I can walk through the valley and not fear, cuz I trust my Shepherd. I can share my heart with another without fear of judgement knowing it is Satan that is the one who should be fearing his judgement. God opened His heart to us and is asking that we open our heart to Him. 

We say trust Him, but at the same time, if you don't know about Him, how can you trust Him. The more you know about a person, God or friend, the more you see their heart and know they are trustworthy, with history proving their loyalty and faithfulness. is why I have come to crave The Word of God and living life alongside and loving others. There is nothing more satisfying than feasting on The Bread of Life and drinking the Living Water, especially with others who do too!!! Your heart opens wider the more you trust. How big is your heart?

"In the BEGINNING God created the heavens and the earth," He has a plan and while your world may seem like your own, really, you are part of a master plan! You were created for this time, for His glory. You must be in The Word to know of Him. You must walk with Him to know Him. He is not a distant God, He is with you and He will send you people: mentors, friends and even enemies to grow you closer to Him. You must choose to receive His enduring and faithful Love offering. Once you do, watch out!! (Romans 8:31-39) Be ready for abundant LOVE-JOY to fill your soul, of which you must also guard against the one who comes to seek and destroy it!! Steal a person's joy and you steal their heart. 

Do you feel alone? Do you feel like anyone has your back? Who is in your life you KNOW God has them there to push through some of your walls, but you don't trust them enough to let them in? TRUST GOD and if you don't truly trust Him, GET IN THE WORD!! Find someone immediately that does and get the accountability to find a mentor who knows The Word and has a heart that loves and fears God and start walking a life of love, hope and faith in Truth! Not in your ability but in the strength of Christ! His blood IS your VICTORY!!! What a sacrifice that saved my life, yes the Blood it is my victory!!!!!! If you say yes, it is yours too!!!

He will send you peace and strength through the hands and feet of others. We are all parts of one Body. Pray and ask God to affirm their place in your life, for whatever way and whatever season He has planned. Not everyone is meant to tear down your walls. Some help you see them. Others help you break them. Some keep you from rebuilding. Tis a season for everything under Heaven! Satan would like nothing more than for you to stay hidden, cut off from the Body. You're less likely to grow. Step forward in faith. Yes, you do take a chance of being hurt, but do you trust God that everything happens for a reason, He has your good in mind and that His grace and love for you is GREATER than any hurt you could ever feel?! Surround yourself by those who Love the Lord their God with ALL their heart, soul and might, who's desire to honor and please Him above all others! Theirs is a heart you can trust with yours!! 

Reflection: How much do you trust God? How well do you know of Him? Do you know Him personally that you can feel His presence near? Do you need to open up the floodgates for your heart to be filled? Are you walking in victory or defeat? Are you being real/honest with yourself? Are you trying to be something other than you? Who in your life would God be calling YOU to mentor, guide, coach or simply be a friend who walks life's paths with? 

This blog entry is long enough, and I could go on so much further and deeper and wider, but I must wrap this up! This began as a Facebook post of thankfulness for extra time spent with precious women this week and I figured once I got to 3 paragraphs, I had gone past my Facebook code of conduct and shifted over to the blog where I have freedom to write as much as my heart spills out! Hope you have been encouraged in some way and gotten to know me a little better in the process!!! HUGS and LOVE!!!