Stop Living Numb : Tips for Overcoming Overwhelm as a Christian

Life can feel hard! Yesterday was hard...today will be hard, and most likely so will many tomorrows. To be fair, God did tell us it would be. Isn't it good to know we have hope for a greater tomorrow and a peace that can be ours today? 

Ever feel like a mere robot? As if you are functioning through your days on a program?

I have.

Day by day doing just enough to get by, following the unspoken rules, trying to meet other's expectations, getting done what must, skipping meals (or eating all the cookies) then do it all again day after day. 

No real passion, no hope for change, no real connection. 

My soul was numb for years.

Did it mean I had lost love for my God, others, coffee or chocolate? No. I just felt numb, and sometimes, invisible.

Am I the only one? You neither love your life or hate it, you neither feel loved or loving. You are pretty sure you were meant for something more, but what? How can you keep it all together even though everything is falling apart inside you?! 

Who grows up as a little girl thinking one day I hope my life feels monotonous, robotic and numb?! I missed a mind that dreamed, innocent, trusting faith when steps were quicker, paths straighter, clinched jaws and fists relaxed, betrayal was quickly forgiven, the anxious mind was calmed, a place where all anticipation conquered all exhaustion. 

Where was my hope? Where was my anticipation for glory...

It's amazing how numb we become when we don't feel valued or seen. I believe God created us to live a life of Anticipating Love. 

When our heart becomes numb, we cannot rejoice, for we have no hope for healing or restoration. How do we start to feel again? 

If you find yourself feeling numb, here are some ideas to help you ignite your heart again and live in a space of grace…

• Take a break every day to do something for you. You spend all day serving others, don't forget to serve YOU! It can be as simple as going for a walk.
• Bless someone without it being part of your ministry/responsibility. 
• Read The Word daily with anticipation to fall in love with Him deeper. 
• Worship, with trust and surrender, listening and receiving.
• Speak against the lies of the enemy by speaking truth.
• Get back in touch with your hobbies and interests. You may not be able to actually reengage with it because of life, but find ways you can escape to it to some degree.
• Focus on body-mind-spirit. Strengthen your weaknesses in these areas. He is showing you these numb places so He can breathe life back into them. 
• Get accountability and practice receiving again.

Friend, It's time to ANTICIPATE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. 

Understand better Who's you are. Live in gratitude. Worship. When you realize how loved you truly are, how seen and heard you are, how cherished and purposed you are...His breath will become yours and you will no longer feel numb. It won’t be overnight but it starts today if you choose it.

Grab a trusted Sister Friend and start today moving fresh anticipation into your heart! 

"And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

 

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

Colossians 3:14-17

Falling Into The Pit

Prior to 2008, I thought I knew myself pretty well and was okay with who I was. Reflecting back, I realize while I was okay with who I was, I wasn't okay with how I was. Born onto the Cradle Roll at our church by a military Dad and friend to everyone Mom, "doing the right thing" was something almost programmed into me. You add in my shy, insecure personality and there ya have your official Holy Roly, Goodie Two Shoes, always trying to be perfect and pure, not causing any issues, church girl.
I wasn't know as the loud one, party one, if anyone can do it she can (or will) or the prettiest one. I was proud to honor my Lord and my family as pure in heart and mind, never intentionally getting near trouble. My desire has always been to live "right" before God, family and others.
Years later when I entered Adulthood and soon after, Motherhood, it was at a time when the internet was taking off and the competition for commerce was in your home and phone 24/7. Back in my day, there were billboards, posters on storefronts and the occasionally mailed brochures. They were random and few. With the acceleration of technology, we have full time promotions. There are even ads you can skip, after you watch for at least 5-10 seconds.
All of a sudden, the comparison and brainwashing started to impact me. If I used that product, I would be prettier, my hair would be silky and styled, my outfits would be fresh, my car would have bluetooth (CD players back then). My baby would sleep better if I had this or be safer if I used that. We would be healthier if we bought this gadget and shopped at this store. My marriage would be happier if we went on this vacation and slept on this kind of bed. You have friends trying some of these products or ways of doing things and you wonder Should I be doing that? Is that the better way?
You can't help but wonder if it could be true, so you try.
And so it goes. Always wondering if this way is the best way, or honestly...if it's the right way vs the wrong way you are doing it. This is fear, worry, insecurity. Not that you aren't keeping an open mind of new ways to do things at home, work or in life, but you are feeling condemned at the choices and way you are doing things potentially inadequately or inefficiently...or wrongly.
After years of self-doubt and constant fear of judgement, I collapsed under the pressure into a pit. Thankfully God knew I was heading that way, and He had already lined it with grace. With the same child-like faith and heart to do right, everything about me was to seek to be better than I was. I always seem to find the best qualities in others but then instead of being sharpened by them, I felt less than because of them. I strived to be the best in every aspect, stacking myself up to the giftedness of every one else. Surely I too could take care of my home with all the homemade organic goodies and organize my home with glass jars and a label maker, hang perfectly ironed clothes in the closet and have vacuumed so well, not one dog hair would find it's way into a corner or a shelf in the house. I would do all this in my well nourished and fit body from my hours at the gym and eating from my cute garden in the back yard. Neither me or my kids would have cavities because we brush three times a day, seven days a week with the right toothpaste, never eating more sugar than recommended by the FDA. We would show up to school and church safely in our ride with side airbags and alarmed sensors. Oh how I could go on....
But there I was, in the pit, where grace softened my direct fall. It bruised me, and scared me, but it didn't kill me. It caught me. By grace, I laid empty yet so full of hope and faith for a better me. The perfect me that God has desired and created me to be. The Mom, Wife, Friend He'd be proud of. But here I lay prostrate and less than. Grace said You're enough. Grace said Just be you. Grace said Life is short. Grace said Days are meant to be lived, not wasted in worry. Grace said Do not fear more, fear less. Grace said Fear not! Grace said I am capable and you are in My hands. Grace said Follow Me. Grace said My grace is sufficient enough for you! Grace said Get up and go!
Friend, wherever you are in your life, remember Grace. You may be amazing at some things the Lord has gifted you for, but you are not equipped to have all the giftings of everyone else to make you fully awesome in everything to everyone. Jesus is the only Fully Awesome one. By grace, be you! By grace, be brave. By grace, be whole! By grace, live! Love Who's you are and how you are...saved by Grace!

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV

Love is in the Dirt too!

"I waited patiently for the LORD; He inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD."  Psalm 40: 1-3

Have you ever felt like you were in a pit? The ground in which you found yourself standing became dusty, crawling with critters and it was gonna be a doozy to get out of? Maybe you are in one right now. How big is your pit? Enough to twist your ankle and limp on a little or is it over your head and you stand in darkness? No matter your pit, God can rescue you!
There is no such thing as "A perfect person." (Otherthan Christ Jesus, of course!) No one has it all together even if it seems to you they do. Everyone gets hurt sometimes. Everyone makes a mistake sometimes. Everyone looses their cool sometimes. Everyone responds in ways they wish they hadn't sometimes. Some times, we find ourselves in a pit. A pit of betrayal. A pit of anger. A pit of loss. A pit of addiction. A pit of loneliness. A pit of depression. A pit of lies. A pit of rejections. A pit of laziness. A pit of rebellion. A pit of debt. There are a lot of pits which anyone can fall into, sometimes.
I think we tend to look at other people and think they've got it easy or that they never fall. I believe this is a clever lie Satan plants in our hearts, not so much in way of comparison...but by exalting another person above us, we then lower our own adequacy and it heightens our awareness of our imperfections. We tell ourselves things like I am a failure...I can't win this battle...I'm not good enough...Things will never get better...Someone else can do it better...I'm a looser...I will never conquor this thing...It's no use...I am nothing. 
And if we have any sense of hope in our heart, we will turn towards God and then pitifully sit in shame, fear, lacking anything to present as "good" before our Gracious and Holy God. And yet, God is the Perfecter of our Faith, Strength in our weakness and a rescue in times of need. Just as He drew Peter up out of the pit of disbelief in the water, just as He brought Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego out of the pit of fire of injustice, just as God gave provision and protection to Daniel in the lion's den and Jonah from the pit of disobedience in the belly of the whale...God will rescue us too. God is a God who gathers together His people in His ark and delivers them from death. Over and over in the scriptures, we find God in the depths and dirt with us.
I am soooo thankful that God meets me where I am along my journey and even if I find myself stepping in a pit, He has "heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God." He is not a God who sits on the throne judging and shaking His head. He is compassionate and empowering, as He sent His Son to the dirt of the earth to place His feet on the road marked with suffering, in order that we can see Him, feel Him, touch Him, and by His infinite Grace and Mercy, be saved by Him from the pit of darkness. 
Lord, thank You for being a God and Savior that knows when I fall into a filthy pit and graciously draws me out of it. I know my tears are heard and seen. Help me Lord God to be a demonstrator of your Amazing Grace and Compassion as You "set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.." May others see You and fear You. May my life be a testimony to Your healing from less paths with pits to more paths of righteousness. May others trust You for their rescue as I testify how You alone rescued me!! Thank You for Your sweet, sweet Love, that can even be found amongst the dirt. 
PS. See the glass heart in the dirt? Love and Hugs right when you need one! We KNOW He loves us but there are times when you just need to know-know. Sweet Lord!!!

"And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen His glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John bore witness about him, and cried out, "This was he of whom I said, 'He who comes after me ranks before me, because he was before me.'") And from His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ." John 1:14-17

Serving out of the pit to get out of the pit!

"Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that His hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end. During supper, when the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, to betray Him, Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that He had come from God and was going back to God, rose from supper. He laid aside His outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around his waist. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around Him." John 13:1-5
Jesus knew His trial was near and He rose and served, laying aside His outer garments, preparing to wash the feet of His disciples. What a beautiful picture of selflessness, setting aside your own "problems" and meeting the need of another. It was an act of Love, demonstrating how we too should respond in the face of pending trials.
Serving others is not a natural instinct for us. We live in a world that screams "Each man for himself!!" We get so wrapped up in our own little circumstances, fretting and stressing about our situation that we tend to drown out the world and focus inward, hearing our thoughts alone. When we are in times of uncertainty, we conserve, hoard, protect, and even shut down, emotionally and physically. Trials drain us and distract us from the needs of others. Satan knows how to quickly quiet us. Nothing like a raging storm for us to take shelter within. It's then that we have a choice, to shut down and close out the world or rise up and continue to serve. Time after time, Christ rose up, gave and served, walking on the water of the storm, rescuing others from the pit! Gracious I Am.
I faced this in a big way several years ago when I went through a season of fear and anxiety. All I could hear was fear. Fear consumed and drowned out the rest of my world. Looking back on those days, I realize how much time and energy I used trying to figure out my thoughts and what to do next. The more I sat and tried to understand what was going in my crazy heart and soul, the more I slipped into a pit of depletion and despair. Day by day, my world grew smaller and smaller as I slowly shut down, emotionally and physically. It was a vicious cycle of trying to control was out of my control. Fearing the lack of control only caused me to fall deeper and deeper into my pit of despair, uncertainty and doubt.
One day, my precious and Godly Aunt called me and as we were talking all I could say was, "I just don't know what to do, I don't know what to do. I can't live like this." She said to me, "Michele, you have got to stop sitting around and thinking. Get out and volunteer, serve others. It will do you good to get out of the house and stop listening to yourself." I wondered how in the world will I be able to do that when I cannot even hardly help my self, and even my family. My thoughts were scrambled, my heart took my breath away at each racing palpitation and I had nothing left to give.
Well, she began praying for me to gain the energy and focus to get outside of myself and live!! Amazingly (that I was able to), yet not surprisingly (that God showed up), I got outside. I rose up, took off the old garment and grabbed a new towel and began to serve. He was the strength in my weakness. It was nourishment to my dry and weary soul. It felt good to stop dwelling in my dwelling. I admit that it began simply as a desperate act to keep myself busy and distracted. Soon, however, I began to feel life, peace and joy. His grace gave and was sufficient.
Eventhough my trial remained, I found how to choose love over fear, ultimately life over death. It was not easy. I fought for every day to be a good day. I fought against every instinct to shut down. I fought to replace each thought of fear with hope. Surrendering to God does not equate to easiness. Surrendering to God equates to obedience which equates to blessing and blessings give peace, strength, hope. I had to choose to rise up and stop sitting down. 
Jesus came to seek and save. He came to serve, so that God the Father would be glorified. Jesus faced many trials before His ultimate trial and through each one, He served, loved, gave as He lived each day, one day at a time, in The Father's name.
Jesus has risen and washed your feet. Won't you too, follow in His example the next time you face a trial, and rise up, take off your outer garment, grab a towel and "wash the feet of another." Let your heart not be troubled or afraid. He will be your power and strength.
Humbling yourself, serving in Love's name, will bless your heart, mind, soul and spirit like nothing else will. Get outside of yourself. Choose life. Rise up and serve in Jesus' name!

" You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them." John 13:13-16 

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." John 13:34-35

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." John 14:27

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9   

  

Rescued from the Pit

"Now Israel loved Joseph more than any other of his sons, because he was the son of his old age. And he made him a robe of many colors. But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peacefully to him. And his brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the saying in mind. They saw him from afar, and before he came near to them they conspired against him to kill him. They said to one another, "Here comes this dreamer. But when Reuben heard it, he rescued him out of their hands, saying, "Let us not take his life." Genesis 37:3-4, 11, 18-19, 21

Jealousy. False accusations. Anger. Betrayal. Intercession.  If we are honest, we have all experienced one of more of these at one time or another in our life, as the one who was the "accuser" and the one who was "accused."

Here in Genesis, Joseph is favored by his father and his brothers are jealous. It is not recorded that Joseph was skipping around singing, " I am the favorite, nanny-nanny-boo-boo." He is portrayed as a good 17 year old kid, obedient and caring, and one who sees the things of God (in dreams). And yet, his brothers could hardly stand it enough. The brother's jealousy came to the point of plotting a forever separation, a quick decision to put Joseph to death. The moment they saw him from afar coming to them (to care for them mind you), they were lock and loaded, ready to kill. If it weren't for big brother Rueben speaking up and taking action, Joseph would not have been spared. Reuben interceded on Joseph's and probably their Dad's behalf too knowing he was so favored. 

"So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe, the robe of many colors that he wore. And they took him and threw him into a pit. The pit was empty; there was no water in it. Then they sat down to eat. And looking up they saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead, with their camels bearing gum, balm, and myrrh, on their way to carry it down to Egypt. Then Judah said to his brothers, "What profit is it if we kill our brother and conceal his blood? Come, let us sell him to the Ishmaelites, and let not our hand be upon him, for he is our brother, our own flesh." And his brothers listened to him." Genesis 37:23-27

Can you even imagine what Joseph must have been going through during all of this?! Righteous anger and deep grief fills my heart for him. How terrifying. He was innocent. He had come to check on his brothers and they betrayed him not just once, but twice! First, into a deep pit without water and you know he had to have put up a fight although the scriptures don't say, then thanks once again to big bro, he then escapes certain death and but is sold into slavery, which was obviously a divine appointment of rescue from God.

"The LORD was with Joseph, and he became a successful man, and he was in the house of his Egyptian master. One day, when he went into the house to do his work and none of the men of the house was there in the house, she caught him by his garment, saying, "Lie with me." But he left his garment in her hand and fled and got out of the house. And as soon as she saw that he had left his garment in her hand and had fled out of the house, she called to the men of her household and said to them, "See, he has brought among us a Hebrew to laugh at us. He came in to me to lie with me, and I cried out with a loud voice." Genesis 39:2, 11-14 

Sold to Pharaoh as a servant, he is once again betrayed, falsely accused! But another intercessor was there-God! He rescued Joseph from yet another pit. "And Joseph's master took him and put him into the prison, the place where the king's prisoners were confined, and he was there in prison. But the LORD was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love and gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison." Genesis 39:20-21 

They say words are a lamp into the soul. Look at Joseph's words here: "For I was indeed stolen out of the land of the Hebrews, and here also I have done nothing that they should put me into the pit." Genesis 40:15 His heart was pure, calm, innocent and trusting. 

"Then Pharaoh sent and called Joseph, and they quickly brought him out of the pit. And when he had shaved himself and changed his clothes, he came in before Pharaoh. Joseph answered Pharaoh, "It is not in me; God will give Pharaoh a favorable answer." Genesis 41:14, 16  Pure, calm, innocent, trusting. I wonder if Joseph would ever be anxious anymore as God continues to rescue him from the pits he seemingly is a magnet for! Joseph was placed into this position of honor at the age of 30 years old. He had been held back in the pit for many long years and yet, look at his demeanor, his heart. I am not sure I would have been so calm or kind. His brothers betrayed him, desiring to kill him! They sold him to slavery. Yet he says, "I was stolen out of the land of the Hebrews." Even in the face of what is absolute truth, he doesn't talk disrespectfully of his evil-plotting and jealous brothers. He doesn't slander or plot revenge. He could have easily been plotting his revenge on his brothers for the moment he was able to ever escape and be free. 

"But the LORD was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love." First, put in a pit. Then sold as a slave. Praise God? Would you have seen that as rescue? Then falsely accused of sexual immorality and put back into the pit. Praise God? It was there in the pit God used him as His spokesperson. Would you ever consider a trial as evidence of God's rescue from something bad to something better? Joseph doesn't know what's on the other side of those brick walls, but he experiences God's steadfast love through it. If there was ever someone who had just cause to get even, plot revenge, be angry, gossip about the injustice brought onto him, it was Joseph. His anger did not cause him to sin. He trusted God brick wall after brick wall. And then, his dreams/prophesies are fulfilled and the brothers are now standing unaware, before the brother they hated. The youngest, hated, Daddy's favorite baby boy was standing before them as their "Life Giver." Once in a place of victim, now Joseph stands in the place of rescuer. The tables have turned to say the least! Two things could have happened, a fleshly opportunity for revenge or a righteous return of God's mercy and rescue. 

"Then Joseph could not control himself before all those who stood by him. He cried, "Make everyone go out from me." So no one stayed with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. And he wept aloud, so that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard it. And Joseph said to his brothers, "I am Joseph! Is my father still alive?" But his brothers could not answer him, for they were dismayed at his presence. So Joseph said to his brothers, "Come near to me, please." And they came near. And he said, "I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life." Genesis 45:1-5 

We have two choices when we are thrown into our "pit." We can use that time to plot evil in our flesh, be angry, anxious, grow bitter...doubting God is actively working on our behalf or we can rest in God's steadfast love, trusting by faith His Love, knowing He has a greater plan for us on the other side of the bricks. Believers are not immune to illness, persecutions, trials. The Bible is clear that we all face everything but that we as Believers can walk in peace, comfort and hope, as we remember the faithfulness and enduring strength we have the choice to claim as ours, in Christ Jesus. 

Perhaps you are guilty of sin, and the Lord is disciplining you out His great love for you...be quick to confess your sin, repent and turn from it and stop falling deeper into your "pit." Receive the intercession of the Holy Spirit Himself who may also move through someone else to bring you out of your pit. God gives us each other to help, intercede and encourage so that when we face a trial, we are reminded that we are not alone. What a reminder for us to be aware of those in "pits" around us. Maybe God is sending you to be their rescue. Are you one who sees the things of God and walks in the confidence of Him?

Whatever you are facing, praise the Lord, keep your heart pure, calm, trusting that even though you may be innocent, He is working out something better. He will send you rescue even if it might not look like rescue and you are put in one "pit" after another, seeing only glimpses of sunlight. Can we still praise Him? Will your heart turn from God or toward God? His blessing and recuse for your obedience is near. You will find peace despite your illness, your betrayal, your reputation, your seemingly failures. It may come in the way of an earthy rescue but it may not come till The Refuge of your Soul holds you in His arms in Heaven. Is there anything more we could desire than intimacy with God Himself? A heart fuller of the things of Him? Sweet fellowship with God Almighty, our Fortress and Strength. Here on earth, sanctification will be a journey of pits and valleys, mountains and streams. How will you go through them? 

"See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit." 1 Thessalonians 5:15-19

God , rescue us from our pits and may our lips praise Your Precious Name regardless of how many bricks capture us. We want to trust You without waver. Give us Your strength and mercy that we might endure in our faith. God, we surrender our hearts to You, mold them and shape them to be like Yours, calm, pure, honest, innocent and pure. Our hope is in You, no matter. We trust You, no matter. God, help us hear You clearly when You speak.