I'm a Christian...Now What?

Now What? You've heard of that moment in a person's life. Their eyes are opened. Heart changed. Habits broken. A renewed heart and soul. They have this glowing essence of joy about them...they have accepted Christ as their personal Lord and Savior. And then it happened to you. Hallelujah! Now what? 
The assumed "fairy dust" of perfection, divine knowledge, eyes to see everything God sees, has failed you, or you find yourself asking what you have done wrong. We made this decision to lead a pure and blameless life, but how? What do we do?
We assume the Holy Spirit would be like a fairy of special powers to reveal all of life's answers the moment we invite Him to dwell within us. Like a Magic 8 ball you shake to get the divine, magical answer. He does work divinely...but He doesn't work magically. The Holy Spirit is not a Google-God. He is christ in us, available to lead, carry, encourage, correct, to show us the way God has planned and purposed for us. Prayer is our direct line to the Divine.
So what do we do now that we choose Christ to lead our life? How does this impact my marriage, my family, my friendships, what I do in my free time, the places I will go now? How do I worship, pray, study, parent and be an excellent wife? What now?
This was the conversation a friend and I were having recently at lunch. She asked, How do I do this? She had been saved several years ago but hadn't been intentionally mentored and was left to observe other Believers's lives (that's always scary...we are all sinners saved by grace) and has been trying to figure it out as she goes. She joined a Bible study to learn more about the Scriptures themselves but here she sat today, with a life rededicated to Him, desperate to know how she is supposed to be a Christian wife to an unbelieving husband, a Christian Mom to her kids, serve in ministry none of which she herself is sure of what hers is. How was she to lead or follow when she herself didn't know much about being a Christian? 
Churches are so good at presenting the Gospel but often fail at the last Amen of their prayer and discipleship never happens. The new Believer has no one to answer their question, What now? 
They have 2 choices: 1.) ask someone they trust or hope someone offers to walk with alongside them, or 2.) do their best on their own to read, learn and watch and hope you're doing it the best way for you. Why would we want our fellow sisters to have to figure it out when we have gleaned even a little to be shared? If God has saved us, we have a testimony of grace and what that has been like to share with others. Maybe we have forgotten or minimized our walk. Maybe our own fire has sizzled. Maybe we only see failure in our life. One thing is for sure, Satan will not be happy about connections made because he knows too well a cord of three is not easily broken. We must guard our established friendships for the same reason. God gets the glory when we stay united, honest, intentional and pure. 
I am afraid in our world of Instant Info, people find it easier to "look it up" and take whatever is the path of least resistance. I am guilty of that, thank you Google and Pinterest. What they really need is organic or intentional mentoring that helps any and every Believer throughout their lifelong journey. Thank the Lord I have this too!! I don't know where I would be in my faith if God had not blessed me with amazingly wise and willing, God-fearing, God-loving woman to help lead me navigate every area in every season over my many years. Learning and growing is a lifetime journey.
What do I do? 
We have all asked ourselves this same question at one time or another. There's always that first week, first crisis, first new friendship of sisterhood, first failure, first betrayal, first Bible study, first spiritual attack, first everything and then for every new season, a wonder how do I do this?!? We all have had our first day one day.
I was brought back to so many of my firsts, even firsts of new seasons like the one I am in parenting an adult child in college. The wonder. The fears. The prayers. The pleas. The failures. The victories. Where do I begin? What list of "things" can I share with her. 
Not knowing where to begin, I asked her what first is she trying to figure out. She said her marriage. Her husband does not share her same faith walk. While he once walked in the doors of God's house, it had been many moons since and he didn't understand her growing commitment, joy and faith. I tell you what, she is much stronger than she knows! I am inspired and awed at her commitment to walk this life in the freedom of her faith. If anyone could justify not going to church, it would be the spouse of one who doesn't. She could easily stay home and read her Bible silently alone and make the best Sunday morning breakfast anyone has ever feasted on and serve her husband by performing well. Instead, she serves well and loads up the kids for Sunday morning worship in her local church. She is learning and growing week by week, but what now? How does she do it once she walks out the doors of the church? To some degree or another, we are all trying to figure it out.
I am certainly not an expert or one who has it all figured out but I do have a life lived with both failures and victories. Some things worked out wonderfully while other choices crushed me. My personality is one of lists and long ones at that. I like details and structure more than random chance or chaos. I love reading and researching ideas and concepts of How-Tos from crafts, writing, photography, interior design and recipes to parenting, marriage and ministry. I began thinking of all the things I attempt to do as a help-mate to my husband and as a Mom to my children ranging college to elementary age. Oh how I wish I could do it all and be an excellent Proverbs 31 Woman, but I fail...constantly. Praise God my Lord and my family know my heart. They know that burnt biscuits and overcooked chicken doesn't mean I am careless and irresponsible or that I don't love them enough to provide Pinterest Pretty food. They know my heart is absolutely head over heels for them, thank God!
During our lunch, I was about to share the Proverbs 31 womanly goals we all dream of having, it hit me fresh again. The reminder how our lives are not about the things we do, or don't do. God looks at our heart. God has transformed us into new beings, we are therefore new creations and as that new creation with a new heart, it changes us as a whole. Christ in us is Christ in us. Our hopes, thoughts, behaviors, motives, filters, actions are because He lives in us. There are plenty of commandments and principles and examples to glean from in The Word and of course millions of books and plenty of conferences and workshops to learn some How Tos. The Proverbs 31 woman is a wonderful example of what it looks like in example of serving her family in her day, however what God asks us is to do is love Him and serve Him with all of our heart, and share this love with others, especially with our legacy children and future generations. Actions are simply the outward expression of our hearts. God is looking at our hearts and it is from the love we hold for our Lord that we love others.
Even though my husband is a seasoned, active in his walk Believer, the way I serve him and love him is no different than how my friend serves her husband. The ways I love, discipline and encourage my children of different ages and temperaments are the same way she will love, discipline and encourage her children. I am called to ministry, giving of my time, talents and resources for Kingdom purpose the same as she is as a new Believer. We both will do it scared but with humble adoration of God's equipping of His people to the task He has asked us to do no matter how much we know or how old our spiritual age. Our fruits (Galatians 5:22-23) to grow are the same and our love is from the same Father. We even (should be) thinking alike according to Philippians 4:8. Our lives and gifting may differ, but our Gift of Salvation and heart's aim are the same.
There really isn't much difference between us. Time is the only real difference  I have had the opportunity to build a history with my God and because of that, I have had more failures covered by grace, more victories to testify to His greatness and can call to witness His divine intervention and mighty Love! 
How do I do this? With God!!!!  
What now? Love fully! 

I am sure there was probably a shorter way to write this out, but I really wanted to get into the heart and mind of someone who might be reading this and can totally relate to the thoughts and behaviors of being that "new girl" and not knowing exactly what she is supposed to do now that she's made the choice to follow after Christ. And truthfully, you may have even accepted Christ as your Savior a hundred moons ago and yet have never sat down and had a practical, vulnerable conversation with another Believer on these things. How great and beneficial and rewarding when we do. Not only do we receive hope and encouragement, GOD receives the glory for a life lived for HIM! 
Well, I can't NOT give you some type of list to encourage you, so here it is: 

Love! Love God with all of your heart and chase hard after Him. Psalm 18:28-39

Be in His Word daily. Seek Him first in every way!  Matthew 6:33

Seek wise women of God and accountability. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Nourish your heart with faith, hope and love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Find a good Women's Bible Study to glean within the hearts and lives around you. 2 Timothy 3:16-17

Serving others well and figuring out your ministry moments will come out of your love for God your Savior. Guard your heart. Deuteronomy 6:4-7

Listen to the whispers of the Holy Spirit and rebuke the whispers of Satan. 1 John 4:1-4

Confess and repent! You cannot hide from God! Don't give Satan a foothold. You are free indeed!! Luke 15:7

Begin and end every day with prayer and prayerfully wonder and worship in between. 

Share your heart and testimony with others. Matthew 5:16, Philemon 1:4-7

Remember you are loved, forgiven and precious and your mistakes and all your unknowns will never outweigh God's Grace for you. Lamentations 3:20-25, Jeremiah 29:11-13

Being a Permanent Temporary Resident

One year....I can do that! When God called us to make a big move in our lives to The Keys, I literally said those words (AFTER He confirmed the move in my heart which was AFTER I said NO WAY-see other previous posts for the whole story). God was gracious in showing us that yes, we needed to make this move, yes there was a plan laid out for us and yes, we were to go...just for a year. Like all things temporary: our hair color, braces, potted plants, learner's permits, they are temporary elements before a permanent placement. That's how I looked at this big move, a temporary move.
It all happened so fast and at first, my thoughts were anxious...Was this really God's plan? Would this huge move trigger anxiety in me? What if a hurricane comes or something devastating happens while we are there, and we don't even know one person there? Was there a hospital within an hour drive? Were there even churches in The Keys? If so, what church would we partner with? Would I be accepted? Would the schools accept the kids academically and socially? Would we face greater temptations in Island Life? Should we or Would we make any friends? And most importantly, was there a Starbucks nearby?! (Just being funny, kinda!) I have to admit thinking on these things did not exactly portray a Philippians 4:8 thinker.  All these thoughts filled my nervous soul and the spiritual battle was on. 
Our Sweet Savior assured me that it was okay, He was in control and He was with us no matter. His grace would be sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9) and He is before all thing and in Him, all things hold together (Colossians 1:17). I meditated and held tightly to theses promises throughout the process. I am not sure Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were concerned about their temporary place in the fiery furnace (Daniel 3) or Daniel when He was placed into the lion's den or Joseph when he was tossed into the well or placed in jail. Instead, they had their eyes on their God, believing He would provide. Their temporary eyes lived in a permanent world, the eternal one with Christ on His throne. God was faithful to me too. He is a faithful God! The Holy Spirit guided my thoughts and centered my mind back on Him. Joy and anticipation soon trumped my fears and worry! My spirit was energized! Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine! Our temporary life in Florida was going to be okay. 
It was sad to leave my amazing friends and family in Texas knowing how much they all loved us and actually gave us strong shoulders to be able to stand on here. Not making new friends here would be okay. I thought it might even be a distraction from "the plan" and I am such a shy girl that I thought it would be too hard, take too long to establish relationships here only to leave soon after. Besides, it's temporary. But God...
In His graciousness, He brought to us the most precious people! On our first house hunting trip here, He led us to a Pastor who just happened to be up at the church and opened the door to our knocking. We shared our journey and testimony, He listened and prayed over us. Once we arrived here, He placed before us wonderful teachers and amazing Godly friends. 
And within the first few weeks here, He already gifted into our life amazing friends. God loving, Christ affirming, real people, with real hearts for loving God and loving others. I thought, "God!!! What are You doing? This was not "the plan!!!" Of course...it was not my plan, but His. They certainly do not distract me away from "the plan" rather they affirmed it and enhanced it. Embracing us, they strengthen me and have loved on my family. They are ministers of God's sweetness and certainly display what it means to be family in Christ. Wow. Honestly, it was bittersweet at first. How wonderful to have been blessed so richly and yet how hard it will be to leave these precious people. 
I began trying to figure out how to be a good "temporary" friend. So I asked God on one of our walks together. He spoke so clearly into my spirit...your whole life is temporary Michele. No matter where you live, it is temporary. Your residence is here with Me. Wow. This was no more temporary than my hometown in Texas had been. My Home is in the Heartland of God. 
This earth and anywhere in it where I get my mail is temporary and He has called us to be deeply rooted in Him, established in Him (Jeremiah 17:7-8) loving and serving Him with all of our hearts, souls, minds and strengths (Deut 10:12-13). I don't have to figure out how to serve and live and love temporarily here. I just have to embrace these temporary elements of loving God and seeking after Him here on this temporary earth until He places me in my permanent place in Glory which is forever and ever. God has assured me (probably rolling His eyes at me), that He is bigger than my capacity to accomplish "the real plan." Lord, more of You and less of me. 
I have found a new sense of freedom in living for today and not in a countdown of sorts. Whether we end up back in Texas in 6 months or 6 years, the calendar will not be my guideline on how I choose to live my "temporary life." I choose to live for Eternity's sake in this temporary place called earth.
Has God asked you to do something that seems difficult? Has He asked you to make a move in your own life? It may not be a literal move of address, but of something in your heart, soul or mind? When we dig deep into knowing that ultimately our lives really are but a vapor and that where we are is temporary, can't we dare to love and serve and live without restrictions of our limitations knowing that God certainly is more than capable to provide these temporary elements to accomplish The Kingdom Plan here on earth as He prepares our permanent place beside Him? 
May we see these blessings and provisions as temporary elements He gives us to help us accomplish for His plan and glory what is eternally His plan? May our cup overflow with blessings so that we may bless overflowing. It all starts when we surrender to His plan and remember that God is in control and near. As the Holy Spirit intercedes on our behalf, our prayers and pleas join with His keeping our minds centered on the Cross. It's mercy, grace, provision and salvation. We can whole heartedly live permanently in this temporary place, loving God and loving others just as He has commanded. THAT is THE Plan.

God, thank You for going before us and walking with us. Help our hearts and minds to remember that while this life is temporary, that we are also to live it permanently, with eternal eyes. When we try to figure out our plan, remind us of Yours! Help us to be faithful servants of these temporary elements here on earth as You prepare for all Your children to live in their eternal home, forever and ever with You!! Create in us a clean heart that we can hear You clearly and serve You humbly. Increase in us our heart's boundaries to embrace all that You have for us. We worship and adore You. Amen

What does my soul really magnify?

"My Soul, My Soul, Magnifies the Lord..." but does it really? 

Our church worshiped with this song last week and as I was singing it, about half way through, I felt the prompting question, "Michele, does it?" I stopped singing and listened. (Click HERE to access this song on YouTube if you want to listen also." "Let every heart prepare His throne... Come and worship, do not be afraid. My soul, my soul magnifies the Lord. He has done great things for me....Wonderful. Counselor. Everlasting Father."  

Yes, awesome and Holy God. Wonderful. Counselor. Everlasting Father. It's easy to say these things, especially if you believe them. But then, does my soul magnify Him? Yikes, we can think all we want in our heads but what do I magnify... Self? Hatred? Bitterness? Selfishness? Greed? A Gossiper? Unforgiving? Judgement? Or do I magnify the Lord I say I worship with Patience? Love? Servant? Fair? Gentle? Trustworthy? Joy? Hope? Peace? Faith? Self-control? Kindness? If someone had a magnifying glass on me, what would be the most obvious? Honestly, it's a frightening thought, am I truly magnifying the Lord? Do others see His Light that I say (claim) I trust? Do I still have my own eyes set on Him?

Romans 3:23 says "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." You may not even need a magnifying glass to see all my sin. We all have things going on in our heart, mind and soul that we hope no one knows. Sometimes our sins gets it's own t-shirt if you know what I mean! Often though, it takes a magnifying glass to find those little sins down in the hidden areas of our soul.

This week marked for me the 4 year anniversary of my Season of Hell. That's exactly what it felt like. As absolutely horrible it was, the redemption and healing that came of it, I would not trade having to have gone through that in order to be where I am today, healed and restored, freed from bondage, and passionately in Love with the Lord! I don't want my "old" Christian self back. God in His grace, provided so many instruments of healing through Christian counselors and mentors, strengthening old friendships to beautiful new ones, to timely bible studies, opportunities to encourage and be encouraged, etc, etc. 
I can honestly say that over these past 4 years, as I have pride-shattering, humbly put up a magnifying glass over my own heart, mind and soul and compared it to His, the more intentional I am to fix my eyes on Christ's Love to see more of Him and less of me. It's been a battle learning how to receive His unconditional Love into my sinful self. Seeking to be more intentional in His Name, it's my heart's desire to honor Him with my life, loving Him with all my heart, all my mind and all my strength, helping me to become more pure in my thoughts and deeds, "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14  "Whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the Name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." Colossians 3:17 I can see and even feel less of me and more of Him. Oh yes, there is still sin and there will be until we sit at the feet of Glory's throne. But that void of "something missing" has been filled with wonder and delight, only God can be all that!!! 

The Lord HAS done GREAT things for me! The song for me now is a prayer more than a declaration. It's a "fearful" thought to say I do magnify Him. Oh how I pray I do, but I cannot promise that I will. I am a sinner saved by grace who's greatest desire is to know Him more and share Him more! I pray that I lead a life reflective, magnifying the One who holds my very breath, my life, my heart. I am not perfect and don't claim to be (anymore-lol). But what I do claim is the Blood of Jesus poured out over me, cleansing me, redeeming me, guarding me, helping me, sanctifying me. PRAISE GOD!!!! 
It is my prayer that as Believers, we will encourage and love one another, stirring up in one another a purposeful intention and accountability to fix our eyes on the Lord and magnify His Love to the nations, both saved and wondering. Will they see Christ the Redeeming Savior? Who will they say we are celebrating? Will it be our life or His? We can fake our words but we cannot fake our heart's outpouring. Isn't it time to stop lying to ourselves and with pride-shattering faith, magnify the heart of God?!?


Father God, Christ Jesus, You are the Great I Am. My soul, my soul, how it is desperate for Yours. I am yours. Father, magnify Yourself to us so we may reflect You more and not only experience it but also share the unshakable Joy of Your salvation and Peace that surpasses all our understanding. In Your unending love and mercy, cleanse us and help us be who You created us to be. Take every part of us and cast out all that hinders us from being filled with You. Help us to be intentional in seeking You, knowing You, trusting You. God our Creation, Sustainer and Rock, we worship You, Wonderful Counselor, Everlasting Father. To You be all the glory forever and always, in every thing, every where. amen.

At the Picnic Table with JESUS!!

The day I "found" Jesus. I have know of the Lord my whole life. I was fortunate to be raised by two parents who loved the Lord and had our family in church every time the doors were open. We served in the Children/Youth ministries, Handbell Choirs, Dramas and Musicals, Communion, Conferences, Mission Trips, Youth Camps, etc. I haven't missed very many Sunday worship services in my lifetime. I am grateful for the foundation of faithfulness laid by my parents.

Although I choose Christ as my own personal Savior in 1986, there were seasons in my life I felt like I couldn't find Him. There was a void in my heart and soul. 2009 was just a season. I was searching and reading in the Word as the restoration process went on. There was just something missing then. I knew He was there with me and yet I felt doubtful. Anxiety is my personal thorn and in times like these, Satan gets in this healing wound and poisons it with thoughts like, "you know He's done being gracious with you," "are you really praying for that again," "He has others with bigger problems than yours," "He doesn't want to hear all your whining," "you're just not smart or special," "the void is because you're not trying hard enough." When really the problem is that I was sinning in my disbelief. I doubted His grace, patience, peace and faithfulness to me to never leave me or forsake me, never give me more than I can bear, and that He is eternal in everything, for everyone!!!

Our family decided to get away for the weekend and headed to a family camp. Each morning I woke up and walked to the lake just down from the cabin to have my quiet time with the Lord. There was a typical picnic table there at the edge where I would sit and read and pray. It was beautiful and quiet. I love being by the water. 

This particular morning I was feeling this great void in my heart and soul. I felt empty. The poison of lies began again. I am just never going to be the same (and He knew better-PRAISE GOD I haven't been!!!), I am not worth His time, This is just my discipline for doubting Him all these years, His time is better spent helping those who are super-Christians, living full out for Him or for those who are hurting so deeply. I was just normal and didn't really matter in the big picture. To my family, I mattered. The World, I could leave and no one would probably notice my absence.

I closed my Bible, laid my head down on the picnic table and prayed, "God, am I more than nothing? Do I really matter? I believe in You and love You more than anyone and anything but I am afraid I have lost value in Your eyes. I want to find You close to me. I want to live a life pleasing to You, not grieving You. Please forgive my whinings. Forgive where I have been a coward. Help me know You better and trust in Your love. Amen." After a few quiet moments, keeping my head down, I opened my eyes. Looking down at the dirt, I found JESUS shining in the dirt.

You will see in the picture above JESUS right there in the dirt. I quickly looked around to see who's it could be...at 6am mind you! JESUS?!?

My wondering soul just anchored down. My mind was centered. My heart leaped! I FOUND JESUS!! WooooHooooo!!!! Sweet JESUS!!!!! He really is near...literally!! This was hysterically awesome!!! I had sat there in that same spot several times and yet, JESUS came that morning to meet with me! What was lost, was found. Sight overcame blindspots. Salvation in a season of needing refuge and strength...and proof with gentle correction. (Keeping it real as there must be correction when we sin.)

I found it and knew it was a message straight for me, and I got it! There was no one around to ask, so I get to keep it right?!? This is totally my new ring that I will never take off!! Well, no. Being a person of strong ethics, I knew I needed to turn it into the office. Someone was missing their JESUS. I walked it up to the office, wishing it could just be mine but knowing the right thing to do. I handed it to the lady telling her where I had found it. She looked at me and said, "Looks like JESUS is yours. No one has reported it missing. If someone comes in asking for it I will call you but otherwise, it's yours."

What joy filled me!!! It was a real-life miracle. A testimony no doubt. How could you possibly doubt something tangible!!!! A tangible message from a listening and speaking God. God knew me and the depths of my heart, mind and soul. He knows that I am a "prove it to me" personality, hence anxiety that makes me question everything. Today, in my moment of doubt, anxious or trial, I can literally cling to my JESUS!! I am reminded He is near. He's on me and I am spoken for!! Amen and Hallelujah!!  

Just as my wedding ring doesn't make me married, neither does this ring make me a Believer. Removing it doesn't remove my relationship to God or my Husband. The rings are outward symbols of the commitment made. Both from me to my Spouse, my Spouse to me, and to my God and my God to me. With my wedding ring on my left and JESUS on my right, I testify that I am committed. I am also spoken for. You cannot have me cuz I am already in The Arms of Ones who love me.

Next time you feel a void, won't you seek, ask and knock. There may not be a ring at your feet when you open your eyes, but there will be proofs. God is not going to leaving you standing at the door, He is going to open it for you. But you must knock! He's invited you, won't you come. Take a seat at His table and enjoy His fellowship. If you don't get an answer, I'd be sure I was knocking at the right door cuz you may be knocking at the wrong door.

Be aware of sinful and poisonous lies. Rebuke them. Know The Truth by being in His Word!!! It's the only way to recognize the lies. In JESUS....

You are NOT nothing! You ARE special!

You are NOT worthless! You ARE worth dying for!

You are NOT hated! You ARE Loved!!

You are NOT stupid! You ARE Wise!!

You are NOT helpless! You ARE powerful!

You are NOT conquered! You ARE a Conqueror!

You are NOT sick! You ARE Healed!! 

You are NOT lost!! You ARE Found!!!

 "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 

For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? 

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!" Matthew 7:7-11

Amen and Hallelujah!!