Falling Into The Pit

Prior to 2008, I thought I knew myself pretty well and was okay with who I was. Reflecting back, I realize while I was okay with who I was, I wasn't okay with how I was. Born onto the Cradle Roll at our church by a military Dad and friend to everyone Mom, "doing the right thing" was something almost programmed into me. You add in my shy, insecure personality and there ya have your official Holy Roly, Goodie Two Shoes, always trying to be perfect and pure, not causing any issues, church girl.
I wasn't know as the loud one, party one, if anyone can do it she can (or will) or the prettiest one. I was proud to honor my Lord and my family as pure in heart and mind, never intentionally getting near trouble. My desire has always been to live "right" before God, family and others.
Years later when I entered Adulthood and soon after, Motherhood, it was at a time when the internet was taking off and the competition for commerce was in your home and phone 24/7. Back in my day, there were billboards, posters on storefronts and the occasionally mailed brochures. They were random and few. With the acceleration of technology, we have full time promotions. There are even ads you can skip, after you watch for at least 5-10 seconds.
All of a sudden, the comparison and brainwashing started to impact me. If I used that product, I would be prettier, my hair would be silky and styled, my outfits would be fresh, my car would have bluetooth (CD players back then). My baby would sleep better if I had this or be safer if I used that. We would be healthier if we bought this gadget and shopped at this store. My marriage would be happier if we went on this vacation and slept on this kind of bed. You have friends trying some of these products or ways of doing things and you wonder Should I be doing that? Is that the better way?
You can't help but wonder if it could be true, so you try.
And so it goes. Always wondering if this way is the best way, or honestly...if it's the right way vs the wrong way you are doing it. This is fear, worry, insecurity. Not that you aren't keeping an open mind of new ways to do things at home, work or in life, but you are feeling condemned at the choices and way you are doing things potentially inadequately or inefficiently...or wrongly.
After years of self-doubt and constant fear of judgement, I collapsed under the pressure into a pit. Thankfully God knew I was heading that way, and He had already lined it with grace. With the same child-like faith and heart to do right, everything about me was to seek to be better than I was. I always seem to find the best qualities in others but then instead of being sharpened by them, I felt less than because of them. I strived to be the best in every aspect, stacking myself up to the giftedness of every one else. Surely I too could take care of my home with all the homemade organic goodies and organize my home with glass jars and a label maker, hang perfectly ironed clothes in the closet and have vacuumed so well, not one dog hair would find it's way into a corner or a shelf in the house. I would do all this in my well nourished and fit body from my hours at the gym and eating from my cute garden in the back yard. Neither me or my kids would have cavities because we brush three times a day, seven days a week with the right toothpaste, never eating more sugar than recommended by the FDA. We would show up to school and church safely in our ride with side airbags and alarmed sensors. Oh how I could go on....
But there I was, in the pit, where grace softened my direct fall. It bruised me, and scared me, but it didn't kill me. It caught me. By grace, I laid empty yet so full of hope and faith for a better me. The perfect me that God has desired and created me to be. The Mom, Wife, Friend He'd be proud of. But here I lay prostrate and less than. Grace said You're enough. Grace said Just be you. Grace said Life is short. Grace said Days are meant to be lived, not wasted in worry. Grace said Do not fear more, fear less. Grace said Fear not! Grace said I am capable and you are in My hands. Grace said Follow Me. Grace said My grace is sufficient enough for you! Grace said Get up and go!
Friend, wherever you are in your life, remember Grace. You may be amazing at some things the Lord has gifted you for, but you are not equipped to have all the giftings of everyone else to make you fully awesome in everything to everyone. Jesus is the only Fully Awesome one. By grace, be you! By grace, be brave. By grace, be whole! By grace, live! Love Who's you are and how you are...saved by Grace!

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV

SURFS UP!!! Are you protected?

"What happened?" "Did something happen with one of the kids?" "What set you off?!?"

These were the questions several of you were sweet and curious enough to ask after a recent Facebook post about "Issues." For those who did not see it, here's the post:

SOOOOO hard to let go of your children, even when you trust God and know God is in control!!! I know I have peers and younger ones on my Facebook, so I will say this to both:

Parent to Parent: PLEASE CHECK YOUR KIDS PHONES AND EMAILS AND FBK MESSAGES!!!! Yes, takes extra time and they may not like it, but it's important for them to know they are still under your accountability and authority and i

t's our responsibility to set boundaries and correct bad choices. Don't put your child's friend in the position to have to go tell a parent! Every Parent should already know!!! Be in their DIGITAL WORLD and ask about what they've seen and heard each day.
Grieves my heart to hear what goes on even in JUNIOR HIGH!!! Makes me struggle with "control" and letting them go. Phil 4:13, trusting He is in control!!!
Blogging about DIGITAL Parental Controls tomorrow!! Then hopefully Thursday, SPIRITUAL Parent Controls. Parents, we need each other!!! Where two or more are gathered...!

Teens: PLEASE REMEMBER THAT DIGITAL FOOTPRINTS ARE PERMANENT!!!! In these days, what you put out there can instantly be shared with all the world!!! Everything done in darkness will come to Light! If you want someone to tell you you're beautiful/handsome and worthy, give yourself to GOD, not immature boys/girls! You're value and image is reflected in Christ! Hold on to it and guard it!! You are wonderfully made and created for a purpose!!!!! You don't deserve anything less than what God has planned for you!!! If someone wants a piece of you, make them go through your Abba Daddy to get to you!!!! Christians, hold each other accountable!! Help each other be pure and strong!!! Where two or more are gathered....Honor your Father!!

And there it is....yep, I was at the end of my rope with EVERYTHING!!! Ever have one of these kid of days...or weeks...inside-out and backwards!

Well, I was! No matter what I did right it only seemed that 2 things would go wrong. One step forward and two steps back, so it seemed. Just a "toss in the towel" week, or two actually.

Without getting into specifics about who and what, I will share my "issue." Bottom line is technology can be very dangerous. I cannot believe these words are about to come out of my mouth (I'm actually old enough to say it-wow), but BACK IN MY DAY, there weren't computers in the home that could access something called the internet and there weren't cell phone that not only will allow you to talk to anyone, anywhere and even via live stream but they can also access anything you could could possibly want in the world...any item, any information. 

Just like anything, there is a choice...it is a choice you have to make cuz these things in of themselves are not evil but we choose to use them for good or evil. I receive inbox messages often from others thanking me for the encouraging words shared on Facebook while so many others spew hatred or junk out there. I choose to use my life and the resources God has given me to bless, not curse. Not bragging but sharing the strength and joy that comes from having a personal relationship with Christ and choosing to live a life, best as this sinner is able, to honor Him. 

With the privileges we all have with things (fame, money, technology, etc) there comes with it responsibility to use it responsibly and for the Christian-respectfully and honoring Christ. We have the choice to use our things for good or evil, and it is our responsibility to set up whatever boundaries necessary to make sure we do. If we struggle with overeating, we should stay away from buffets. If we struggle with alcohol, we should stay away from environments or people who drink. If we gamble, we should stay away from money-pits. If we struggle with purity, we should have major filters on our "media." Whatever our vice, we need accountability and filters!

This brings me back to my post! DIGITAL Parental Controls! WE...THE PARENTS...MUST put them on EVERYTHING!!! I didn't even realize what was out there and what all my different gadgets could do. The Wii, PS3, Desktop and IPhones/Cells all have access to the internet. Unless you put up blocks or filters, they can look up anything!!!! Stuff you don't want them to see. While there is a ton of awesome uses for the internet, we need to set those guards up so our kids are only able to be in the "safety zone."

I am shocked at the things I see on the Internet with teens pictures! And it's not just the girls!!! Guys are flexing and showing undergarmets too, all talking about their weekend happenings. Are there really that many parties going on out there?!? And the things texted, wow! Conversations these days progress faster than "back in my day." I always wonder what the parent would do if they actually saw or read what their child had just posted or sent. When my kids come home and tell me what they've seen, I immediately say a prayer for the parent to please find out. I too want to know what my kids are up to. It should not be up to another child to report the misuse of media to their friend's parent. I doubt anyone would ever actually do that.

What if every parent were active in their own kids phones/computers? What if there were filters in place that prevented adult content to leak out into our kid's worlds, even for us adults who struggle with our own purity temptations. There is much that NO ONE needs to see. We shared a statistic in our SS Class a few weeks ago that the Pornography Industry profits more than all the Sporting Industries combined!! That's a LOT!! And we wonder why many marriages are being destroyed, sex-trafficking is on the rise and why it's so hard to find a show or movie that is void of sexual content!

So, I am a Mom on Mission to protect the Digital purity of my home, that includes my husband and I, our children, as well as any guests that come into our home. While we cannot protect them at every turn, and I wish I could force filters out to everyone under the age of 18, we have the responsibility and ability to do what we can. Filtering 75% is better than 0%. (Yes there are the legal warnings that you must be 18 or older, but what good is that if the child has the password!?!)

I am in the process of learning myself what our legal and moral consequences/responsibilities are, I hope to put together a little workshop for parents but I wanted to put a feeler out there and see if anyone would even be interested in digging in, getting the information and having accountability with it. If so, please email me.

Meanwhile...for you ITunes people...did you know that Apps and ITunes have ratings?!?! I had no clue! I have officially removed YouTube, ITunes and App Store from all the cells. If we want to see something on there, it can be done at home on the desktop where there is accountability and a history. If someone wants to make a purchase, it must go through Mom or Dad since only we know the password (for every device!!!) and all purchases can be seen on the ITunes desktop. Even if a purchase isn't made, scrolling aimlessly through the App store can be dangerous too, just reading about all the apps with MA ratings and seeing the promo pictures is too much for little eyes.

So, I challenge and encourage you to take charge for the DIGITAL purity in YOUR OWN home!!!! No, your kids will probably not like it cuz like we already established, there is some good and they may simply be having fun, but it only takes a spark to get a fire going! If you or your spouse are the ones who struggle with DIGITAL purity, then change the passwords, put on stricter filters, get accountability and counsel and pray, pray, pray!!!! There is nothing God cannot free you from.

I am eager to learn what I can to clean my home from the inside out!! Remember that it is your responsibility to clean yours!!!! To GOD be the glory in every digit of our world.

*EMAIL me if you'd want to take a class from me which would be basics on what I will have learned and implemented in my own home. SURFS UP!!! 

Michele

happymomfour@comcast.net