When your loved one is suffering. Part One.

Do you have a loved one suffering with panic and anxiety attacks? I am betting that if you do, you are having a hard time understanding what they are going through and don't understand why it won't stop, why they say they think they might die. I know. That was my poor husband as I walked those scary and painful moments in 2008-2009. Honestly, your loved one who is suffering this heartache is asking themselves the same things. They don't get it either. 

As difficult as it has been to share my testimony and experiences with others, my spirit wants to testify to the goodness and sweetness of the Lord. In His grace, I found healing and the truest of love and kindness, and mighty, mighty power. But it took going through those dark days to see such pure Light. God's Word is full of testimonies of God's grace, provision and protection. I found such comfort being back in His Word, alive and active it is!! I felt less alone when I read the perils of Job and Paul and so many others. 

This is exactly why I began blogging and writing: to share and encourage. Yes, it's hard to visit those terrors but the hope to encourage and even save a life overshadows and uplifts me right over that pit of despair onto the wings of an eagle, soaring above defeat, shame and embarrassment. God has crossed my paths over the years with sweet Believers who have fallen into the same pits whom we have been able to share each other's journey, many in the middle of a valley. What a joy to celebrate hope and healing in Jesus Name together.

When I am sitting with the person in anguish, we speak the same language and as much as we get it, we don't get it. I liken it to listening to my teen speak calculus or when my husband it calling sports plays. I just don't understand their lingo. It's the same here. Until you have walked in the same shoes, it's a struggle to get it. 

We are able to feel what the other feels and understand the depths of it all, physically, emotionally and spiritually. But, when I find myself sitting with the loved one, they really don't get it. The look in their eyes was the same bewilderment my husband had with me many years back. He just didn't understand what it felt like to be in my body. 

He couldn't understand when I shut down or quickly fled situations, why I was so exhausted, why I couldn't handle loud noises and big crowds. One of the most painful stings to the heart is the look of weirdness, puzzlement, judgement, nervousness in your loved one's eyes looking back at you in your moment of fear. 

These were the moments "fake it till you make it" were necessary, just to avoid that look. To avoid the pain it pressed like a sword into the depth of me. It slayed me, reminding me of how crazy I was, shame flooding every part of my soul. And if this loved one who had my back looked at my like this and couldn't understand what I was experiencing, how could anyone else, and how much deeper would their look slash my soul? So, we hide, mask and protect. 

Thankfully, the Lord heard my cries and sent me rescue and all the while, I prayed for my husband to have compassion and understanding. He was one of my first subscribers to the blog, learning more about my experience than I was able to verbalize. Also, we had 4 kids running around the house and it wasn't something we just called out and spoke about. I wanted to continue on as normal and stable, conquering and hopeful, calm and collected as a true perfectionist and encourager personality. 

Over time, through healing helps of Christian counseling, natural remedies of essential oils and vitamins, Scripture memory work and meditation, a deep and purposeful prayer life, worshiping without wondering, letting go of perfectionism, accountability of a few trustworthy Sisters in Christ, re-prioritizing my life and schedule, addressing how I was (not) taking care of my body, mind and spirit. All these combined together for the help and healing, overcoming and conquering I experienced against fear. To God be all the power, and glory!

Recently, several loved ones have approached me about my journey, asking for help in dealing with their loved one suffering in anguish. With all my writings focused on the anguished person, I thought I would write to the loved one because I know as many who suffer with panic and anxiety attacks, there are that many more loved ones trying to understand them and help them. 

Lord knows you need the same help, love, hope and encouragement as you deal with the heartache and confusion in dealing with your loved one's current battle. So, in the next blog, I will share with you a few simple helps from my own personal experience in hopes to encourage each person touched by these attacks in compassion and hope.

Meanwhile, meditate and believe on Jeremiah 29:11-13, 

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

 Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will hear you.

You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart."

To God be all our glory, help, hope and praise, amen.

Click Here for When your loved one is suffering. Part Two.

Expanding Boundaries: Our Move to Paradise

Josh and I have been married for going on 22 years and many conversations surround the idea of "Would you ever...." or "Wouldn't it be awesome to move to (blank) and live there for a few years?" For years, we have desired to make a big move and take an adventure living on the beach or in the mountains. But for many reasons, we never did. We just dreamed it. Maybe ultimately it just wasn't time yet. Occasionally throughout the years, we would go look at new developments or Open Houses but each time, it never felt right. But God was stirring in us "a move." As much as we wanted to, we didn't want to. We are comfy people who like to be comfy!
Over 10 years ago, Josh applied for a youth ministry job in New Braunfels and that was a daring move in our minds, but by faith we went. The thought of moving out of town seemed too big for Mr & Mrs Comfortable. Then, over the past 2 years specifically, we have been looking for property in a nearby town but nothing ever felt right. It would have been a small move with little change to our lives other than new schools for the kids which we were hoping for. A year or so later, our church announced a new church plant up north from us in another town we like to visit, on the lake. That would be a little bit bigger of a move north but we weren't sure and yet we began looking at houses, seriously this time, not curiously. 
There are 3 other places we always tease about one day, packing it up and moving big. Back in the day (as recent as July 4th of this year) our hearts raced thinking about, dreaming about, "Wouldn't it be awesome to...move to New Braunfels!?" The other place is a small town in New Mexico, or maybe even Colorado! To experience 4 real seasons sounds dreamy! We love the mountains in any season and we love the water- river, lake and beach. Another location we love is the Florida, but that is soooo far and a much bigger move and would be a long shot.
Unlike the younger years when we didn't have kids to think about, that would have been a perfect time to travel, but neither of us had money to do that and at the time, we were young marrieds actively involved in youth ministry at our church and were excited to just start living life at home as the new Mr and Mrs. Now, every decision is first covered in prayer, of course and then we have to consider the family of 6. What about a local church, schooling, the finances, the environment, the distance from medical help, etc.
Our life seemed to shift over this past year and it's almost like crashing waves before the flood. We continuously felt "hit" and felt like the sands under our feet were sinking, and we no longer could get out, and the waters began to rise. We were taking on water. It was then our hearts began to stir at the end of June this year and we felt like God was about to step in and something big was about to happen. And He did. He said, "pack it up and go." We didn't know where or when or if really we would. We prayed fervently for God to show us and give us clarity either way. Practically, it made sense that it would be now, because we have a Senior in the house and it was literally our last chance as a family of 6 to take this family adventure together before we are a family of 5 living together. Spiritually, it made sense cuz we were sinking.
So we prayed (and I began the purging the closets...just incase). We already had a vacation planned for the July 4th weekend in New Braunfels and we "figured" "THAT MUST BE IT!!!" HOW EXCITING!!!! For over 10 years we have served alongside a church there and "figured" that's where we will go. We began looking for houses and made an appointment for 1 tour during our visit. Everyone was eager to get there and we discussed (and prayed) what life would be like there, which church would we join, how it would affect work, our business, our family, our friends, schooling for the kids, cost of living, etc. It would be a bigger move than staying local, but it wasn't too big of a move only being a 3 hour drive away from Houston life, work, family, friends.
The Sunday before we left, Josh woke up and said, "I think we are supposed to move to The Keys." I seriously rolled my eyes and said, "Whatever." He looked at me and and I realized he wasn't joking. I still said, "No Way!" Churches? Hurricanes? Flooding? Sharks? Distance from mainland? Distance from family and friends? NO WAY!!!! He told me to at least pray about it and there was a part of me that wondered if he was just going for one of his dramatic moments and kidding around with me cuz he knew I would be freaked out only to come back with his "just kidding Babe." Ha. Ha...not funny. But I said I would pray, and I did. God, we know You are calling us to pack up and go but we want to be very clear about where. We want to follow where YOU want us to go and not Josh's plan, or mine. Show us and make it crystal clear, give us unity and give me peace especially, that I may not fear this change. We choose to follow You and trust You. Believing You will provide, amen.
I woke up Monday morning and had an excitement in my spirit, about moving...further than 20 min away...further than 2 hours north, further than 3 hours west...further than 16 hours away....all the way to The Keys...24 hours away (driving straight thru!). I was shocked. I shocked myself. I was shocked by God...."really God? The Keys?!? Soooooo far away?!?" We already had the plans for that upcoming July 4th weekend, so we eagerly anticipated some type of closure or clarity. We called and confirmed our appointment with the house the following day and all was good to go. I was hoping God would indeed confirm this was our place. 
The next morning, we loaded up the car and about an hour into the drive there, the realtor called and cancelled our appointment. The owners decided not to move. Wow....okay. Bummer. The drive only got worse when the freeway was shut down and we sat rolling at 10mph for hours only to detour and our 3 hour drive became a 6 hour drive. Everyone was grumpy and tired and yet, we still had our original plans to hang with our wonderful friends! We also couldn't wait to attend "our church" and wouldn't ya know, the Pastor was on vacation, guest Preacher was there, and he spoke about being brave and making moves that God calls you to. Alrighty, 3 strikes, we were out and a word of encouragement to make a big move. God was very clear. While sitting there on their gorgeous porch sipping coffee, in a town we'd love to have called our new home, we booked airline tickets to The Keys, to get our feet and hearts on the ground to pray and confirm what we felt was already set in stone. Surprisingly to me, The Keys didn't seem so terrifying that morning. COUld it really be Paradise over Panic?!? 
The very next week, the kids already had planned a vacation with family in Austin and would be gone, so we flew for our 48 hour confirmation time with the Lord. We flew into Key West and began our search. I will blog next time about God's "more than"  and all His confirmations from the moment we landed, but for now, where we are. Our first stop was Sugarloaf Baptist Church which the Pastor happened to be there and he blessed us with prayer and encouragement to keep moving forward by faith. Bless my heart! Thankfully, joy and anticipation overcame my fear and anxiety. I know most people won't understand that, this is The Keys and Paradise, however, it can also be a huge sense of anxiety for the above mentioned reasons. But there was peace, like a river...or a Key's Beach!!!
We fell in love with this place and Islamorada is now our new home for the year. We thought we would be in the lower keys, but this is it! We had a hard time finding a place which I will blog that part of the journey next time, and we wondered what God would do, and we were fine living in a campground if that's what He was calling us to humble ourselves to do. But, God has "more than" and we are beyond blessed to call this place our home. It's half the size of our last house but it has been perfect for us!! 
We skyped the kids and told them this was it, and they were excited! There was much to do in such a short period of time since the schools here began Aug 18th, a week earlier than Houston schools and they would need to all be registered! Josh met with his boss and explained that we would be moving for the year and was asking for approval to keep his job, we met with church leaders and let them know we would not be able to lead this coming year, and we told family members, friends and our LifeGroup. We are charter members at our church (going on 12 years there) and love every person. We would have loved to have hugged each one good bye (see ya later) but there wasn't a way to do that and we also didn't want to make a big deal about our move. We also didn't want to risk a bragging perception that we were "living the dream and moving to Paradise." Yes, it is true, but it's not exactly this grand adventure of fun. We are not growing a crazy wild hair and picking up to go do something crazy!! This comes with much prayer and concern. That being said, of course...It is a grand move. It is going to be an adventure. It is going to be fun. But it is also coming with a big price...leaving our comfort zones, missing our family, church family and friends, a comfortable life, a safe life, a familiar life, adjusting to a new life, a new culture, new schools, etc. The main thing we have to change which is not a price to pay in a negative way, is renewing our walk with the Lord. We have been uprooted, taken out of our comfort zones and placed in this remote place to seek a near God, to be more desperate on the shores of faith, seeking our faithful God and Father!
We must use this time to reprioritize our priorities. We recognize we must put God back as our first love and do intentional discipleship within each of our own hearts and souls. We must break old habits and well-oiled tendencies and give God all our hearts, our souls and our minds, and walk in such a way that pleases Him, and not negotiates with Him. We must focus on ministering to our own family. That doesn't mean we won't be ministering to others. We have a great love for ministering to others but we need to keep our priorities right: God, family, others. 
We had found ourselves depleting ourselves to others and not having anything left to minister to our own family. This year we know God will be teaching us how to do this right. It's going to be work as we have to break old habits. It's hard to make changes and yet it's necessary. Pruning hurts for the moment but in the end, it's fruitful. We want to be fruitful!
We must first love Him as our personal Lord with all our hearts. We must train up our children in the way they should go. We must not forsake fellowship of The Body and we must serve and love others. Mom and Dad must lead in this example. If we don't share, the kids won't share. If we don't serve, the kids won't serve. If we don't worship, the kids won't worship. As parents, our first mission field is our family. Second is the church. Third is the world. But it must start with us loving God, as our personal Lord and Savior just as He has called us to.  "And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you, but to fear the LORD your God,to walk in all His ways, to love Him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the commandments and statutes of the LORD, which I am commanding you today for your good?." Deuteronomy 10:12-13. 
Our journey starts with Love. Continues with Love. Ends with Love.
We serve a very patient and loving God who meets us right where we are!! He knew I needed baby steps and He has patiently and faithfully and tenderly walked with me through each one. And here I am, yes, surrounded by Peace and Paradise and not by panic, praise the Lord Almighty, moving to a place I didn't think I would or could ever truly live. Wow. To see how He has laid out a foundation for us in which we are able to courageously walk it's length and depth where He has parted our waters for us to walk through to solid ground.
I don't know how long we will be there, I just know this is where He has led us. Our Home will always and forever be in a place called Paradise.
What are your boundaries? Your can'ts or wont's? Your wishes and dreams? Where in your life is God giving you opportunities to expand your boundaries? Where in your own life is He stretching you outside your comfort zone? Are you living practically or faithfully? 
Trust me, there is peace when you trust. If we live a practical life, we will have practical results. If we live a faithful life, we will have GREATER faith! That doesn't mean it will be easy. It does means you will have peace. I could go on about the faithfulness of God but I will stop here and say, "Love Him first!! Seek first, the kingdom of God...and remember that He works all things for good!" 

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Feeling weak, weary and worried?

Ever have those days or sometimes months where you feel attacked and overwhelmed. The little things in life seem so much bigger and you feel the weight crushing you? I'd like to share a prayer woven through the scripture with you that I am praying in my own life. It is the protection instructed to be worn in Ephesians. The actual scripture in ESV is in italics and my words are the rest.
I pray you will find strength and a renewed hope as you remember Who Your victory and Strength are in. It is not within you to overcome. It is Christ in you that gives you the victory.Trust Him. Prepare yourself for battle and pray endurance till the end!!  Gird up your faith and hang on! Saturate yourself with His Word and hide it in your heart!! It's a crucial weapon you must have with you!!!
If this isn't you and you know someone who needs to be encouraged today, please pray this over them. Jesus is our healing, our victory and our hope. He is the answer! Blessings in His name, Michele


Father God, today I lay my broken and weary soul at the crown of Your Holy and Healing feet. My spirit cries out to You Lord God that I Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Help me Father God, Warrior King Jesus to Put on the whole armor of Yours God, that I may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore help me Lord to take up the whole armor of God, that those of us who serve You may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Lord Jesus, as both a witness to Satan and his evil destroyers and as a witness testifying to Your Conquering Victory, I Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth,  refusing and rebuking all the lies he tells me that I am weak and defeated, worthy of death, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, that in my anguish I will choose good over evil, guarding and protecting my heart in Jesus' Name that my heart will remain fully and completely consumed by the Love of my Savior. Steady my feet Lord to walk  and witness to Your Love in a manner worthy to honor You above all others, wearing as shoes for my feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.
In all circumstances, especially those that are difficult, leaving me to feel exhausted and weary, help me Holy Spirit take up the shield of faith, with which I can extinguish all the  flaming darts of¹the evil one as he seeks to devour me day and night; and take my permanent helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is Your word God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. Recall to me Your Word hidden in my heart that I may not sin against You and encourage and strengthen me with fervor in your Word each morning and throughout the day.  
To that end it is my deep desire to keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, getting outside of my own troubles and intercede for those God has placed in my world to stand alongside, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak. Lord open my eyes to see what You see before and around me and grant me strength and endurance to persevere through each and every circumstance, escaping the schemes and traps of the enemy laid out to destroy me. I am Yours Lord God and I trust in Your strength. Guard me in Your Name King Jesus. May my courage be a bold witness to the enemy and rebuke him to his crushed place under my feet and lift my eyes to where You are so my heart and mind may be restored. Cleanse me and revive me Lord for You are my God! I worship and adore You alone. It is with eager anticipation and holy determination that I count it all joy today as I stand on the battlefield. No weapon of the enemy shall proper where You are so Lord today, keep watch over me that I may not give the enemy a foothold! I stand in You! Thank you and Bless you Faithful God. AMEN!

Ephesians 6:13-43

Being Ready for the Stage

She changed her diet drastically to get rid of all the sugars and fats. She gave up hours in her day to be at the gym and work out, eventually giving up nearly whole days to be up at the gym doing cardio and weights. She drank enough water she probably should have a river named after her! She was very intentional about everything she ate and did. Everything working in one accord is what is was going to take to get her where she needed to be.
Then there is me, sure, I have given up most sugars, sodas except on very rare occasions, I enjoy plenty of cream in my coffee and I love my breads!!! And while I was exercising 3 times a week for a while, I now only make it to the gym once a week. So, of course I am frustrated that I have gained weight because of my choices. I stand next to my friend and feel fat!! I see her at the gym and I want to just quit. "I'll never make it to that!" Honestly, I don't want to have a competition body, but a tone and healthy body full of energy would be awesome!!! I know what my end goal is and what it would take to get there, so why don't I just do it?!?
What about you? What in your life are you wanting to achieve so bad and you know what it will take to get there and yet you find yourself standing still staring off into space?!  Going back to school? Spring cleaning the house? Reading certain books? Loosing weight? Changing the family diet? Getting back into church? Deepening your relationship with the Lord? Finding a bible study to join? Seeking counseling for personal struggles, parenting or marriage? Learning a new hobby? Starting a business? Taking the time to catch up on letters? Planning and Saving for a vacation or mission trip? What do you want? You might slowly move towards it, which, hey, forward is better than backwards, but...why are we dragging our feet when it's something we want?! Maybe we don't want it bad enough. Maybe it requires too much hard work? Maybe it means we will have to make sacrifices.
How can we justify our complaining about not having "it" when we are not being intentional to do our part to attain it? I whine and fuss about not looking and being as healthy even half as good as my friend, and yet, I can't complain cuz I am not doing what needs to be done! I have no right to complain. I have no one to blame but myself. My friend can confidently slip on that bikini and look fabulous on stage at the end of her training because she did everything she needed to do to be ready for that moment on stage while I would be horrified due to my own lack of preparation. If only I would have trained. If only I would have done what I was instructed to do to be ready.  
This is sooo true when it comes to our walk with the Lord. We have to be intentional and continually prepare our self so when it's Showtime, we can be confident. When times get hard, do we find ourselves ready and trained up? Have we prepared for the "stage" of betrayal, anger, temptation, illness, unemployment, crisis? My friend was lucky in that she knew the date of her Competition and could plan out her exact daily schedule. We, on the other hand, do not know when we will be placed on the "stage". We must live prepared and ready!
This is why it is crucial to be in God's Word daily! It's why we must gather together and not forsake fellowship with Believers. It's why we must confess our sins and ask God to cleanse our hearts from the unhealthy toxins and make it healthy and pure. This is why we must have accountabilities as we live in community that help us stay serving, growing, focused, motivated and equipped. Our goal as a Believer is to glorify The Lord our God with our life, to be His Light here and show His Love through our lives. It's takes being intentional in planning and consistent disciplines to accomplish that. There will always be reasons and excuses but are we ready to stay disciplined and intentional towards our end goal?! Can we stay motived instead of feeling defeated?!?
So, back to my original questions: You might slowly move towards it, which, hey, forward is better than backwards, but...why are we dragging our feet when it's something we want?! Maybe we don't want it bad enough. Maybe it requires too much hard work? Maybe it means we will have to make sacrifices.
I don't about you but I want to know God deeply and intimately. I want to hear God. I want to feel God. I want His strength and peace and comfort. Ultimately, I want to bring Him honor. The question is How badly? If I wanted it bad enough, it would not matter what the cost to me would be. Look at the example of Christ? He wanted you bad enough that He sacrificed greatly for you. He brought glory the Lord which was His ultimate goal. Whatever it took.
Now, what about you? Are you ready to be "on stage" in life? Will you be confident when trials come? One day, it will be the Heavenly Stage and we will stand with full confidence and beauty, fully complete in every way, lacking nothing!! Oh, Amen!!!!!

"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am being tempted by God," for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire." James 1:12-14

My Thinkings at the Bayou today about Deep Waters.

I was walking on the bayou this morning with my Granny-Pup and the higher the sun rose, the more she wanted to take a dip in the murky water to cool off. (Working up a good sweat myself, I admit I was a bit jealous! But the thought of snakes kept me on the dry land:) Being off her leash for the run, she has the freedom to jump in and take a dip as she pleases...however, with the freshly mowed grass around the edges of the bayou, God caused my attention to the depth of the stream. The closer we walked to the source of the flow, the deeper the water went. 
Of course, this makes sense. Have you ever jumped off a waterfall? Everyone knows that the deepest part of the waterfall is where the water pours down. The further down the stream or river you go, the shallower it gets. So, if you are going to jump, you want the deepest part, which is the closest to the source, aaaaaaaand...you want to make sure there are no underground boulders should you go for a pencil drop:) LOL!!!!! 
I happened to be listening to the Book of John on my audio Bible app and just as God was turning my attention to this seemingly "random" thought about the bayou water, my app read to me these words, "The Samaritan woman said to him, "How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?" (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, 'Give me a drink,' you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water." The woman said to him, "Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob? He gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and his livestock."Jesus said to her, "Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."
At first I wasn't tuned in, as my thoughts were thinking about the deep water and not wanting my Granny-Pup to run and jump in, and slowly the Scriptures began to cut thru my thinkings..."the well is deep..The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up."
I stood there staring at the culvert where the source of my bayou began, processing these seemingly random thoughts and then like a flower that opens it's petals, God showed me about these deep waters. I felt the pull in my spirit to turn and look down the bayou where I had just been and I noticed all the trash piled up, the trashed that got trapped up along the edges and the algae laced water due to stagnant waters. But here, back at the beginning, at the source, it was fluid, flowing, powerful and purer, and here I stood at "the deep end."
This connected in me, the message Pastor Nathan preached to us yesterday in service...it's about the depth, not the breadth. As we walk with the Lord, the closer we get to Him (The Source), the deeper our waters get. The waters are purer, fresh, clean and abundant. However, if we walk away from The Source, the further down the river we go, we will find trash, shallow waters, stagnant growth causing impure waters. 
So, how do we find the deeper waters? How do we stay there and not float downstream? It is about drawing water from The Source of Life: The Lord, being satisfied in Him alone. His Word is the Well of Life. His well is pure and deep. Once you have taken a drink from the pure water, you won't be easily satisfied by filthy, stagnant waters any longer. But if you choose to turn away from the deeper waters and journey downstream (aka: stop reading The Word of God and stop seeking Him), there will be temptations out of desperation, to take self-satisfying, quick dips in the murky waters as you seek refreshment from the heat. Carelessly, you willing exchange the pure (eternal) water for a temporary fix, only to find that you become sick amongst the filthy waters. Left unsatisfied and desperate for a sip of cool, fresh water, you will gather strength to pull yourself out of the filth and look once again for the Source and return upstream where the Living Water flows and drink from the pure waters (aka: get back into The Word, seek forgiveness and fellowship with Him). We stay in the deep waters when we desire life. We immerse ourselves in The Word of God and see with His discerning eyes, the waters that are pure and satisfying. 
I have also found that when I have accountability in a "walking buddy" I keep moving forward. I am less likely to make excuses, get off track, jump into murky waters. If our common goal is to head upstream, it's very likely we will get there together, where the waters are gathered together (Genesis 1:9) and welling up at The Source (John 1:1-2)!!  

"...let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." Hebrews 10:22-25 

Father God, Your well is deep. Father God, we know that You are The Source of Pure Living Water to us, if we would just come and draw from You. Quench our thirst. Holy Spirit, lead us to Your springs of water that are welling up to give us eternal life in You! God, here in the depths of the waters of Your well, we are satisfied and made clean. Forgive us Father when we choose to satisfy our selfish desire for a dip into the shallow, murky waters amongst the trash. If we could see how filthy the water really was, we would wait to get to the depths where it is pure, safe and clean. Give us Your eyes Lord. May You as our Source cause in us a deeper place cut out from Your Living Water. Give us depth where fresh water flows and helps us to be aware when we began to move downstream. God keep us at The Source of you were there is no trash, but pure clean waters. In Your Pure Name, Jesus our Source of Life, we drink, amen.


They say the depth is as great as the height above the water....interesting thought, especially when you think about How Great is Our God!!!!! Here is the Most Powerful Waterfall I have ever seen, Niagara Falls:

My LifeProof

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:" Ecc 3:1
You bet I have the LifeProof case!!! I live with 4 kids, a dog and a cat, and have a pool and we vacation in snow and sea!!! I am frequently pulling it out of my pocket to take pictures...taking way more pictures than calls! lol
I take pictures on the water and in the water without worry. It proves durable even at the beach where I am able to capture great pictures while snorkeling and digging for sea shells in the sand.
There are times when I remove the phone from its very secure case and let me tell you, I am a nervous wreck!! It's thin, fragile and slippery. The thought of it slipping out of my hand and breaking to pieces on my tile floor or into the pool is enough to throw me into a panic! Don't bump me, trip me, I have the phone in my hands!!! Keep back 20ft!! lol We are talking big bucks to replace it, so I am serious...can't drop the phone!!! I do my best to keep it Life-Proof, cuz life happens!!! God's Word is our LifeProof case. We are breakable creatures (physically, emotionally and spiritually) and it is crucial we surround ourselves with the protection of God's Word. The mornings I go without my LifeProof protection, I can feel it. I feel vulnerable, on edge, breakable. The slightest bump in the day will send me into a panic. Someone or something "running" towards me can take my breath away. My heightened vulnerability only intensifies my responses to circumstances I face during the day. Don't bump me, trip me or scare me cuz I am holding onto my "self" and if I drop, I will break into a million pieces!
How much more peace and strength when I have on my LifeProof case, cuz life happens!! God's Word proves durable. It is my shield and protection through all terrains, through every season. I don't have to walk around a nervous wreck, keeping everything and everyone 20ft away because I know with God, He goes before me and holds all things together! (Col 1:17) I can live my life without fear!!!! I will not put my LifeProof case to the test. I will simply trust it where I am at, as I go and do.

Father God, Almighty King and Creator of ALL things, Thank You for the covering You provide for my fragile self. We are breakable creatures, with bodies, minds and hearts that can be quickly destroyed. It is this knowledge of our weakness that we hold on to You, putting on Your armor of Protection!! Your blood covers us wholly. Thank You Abba Daddy, for watching us, going before us and guarding us. You are all we need. Move in our hearts Lord to remember with fervency to keep our LifeProof shield on at all times so we are not quickly broken in this busy and chaotic world. Help us walk confidently, trusting Your guard over us. Wrap us up and remind us we are more than conquerors in Your name. For all seasons, You are Lord over all!! Praise You The Great I Am. Amen.   

 

"Then David said to the Philistine, "You come to me with a sword and with a spear and with a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the LORD of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied."

1 Samuel 17:45

 

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm."

Ephesians 6:10-13

 

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones."

Proverbs 3:5-8

 

 

  

Ya think ya know it all, until....

I was talking with a dear friend today and the comment was made, "You think you know it all until you have to take a test. Testing proves what ya really know." God brought it back to mind this evening and He "tested" my thoughts.
A "test." It stirs up anticipation and even more anxiety just at the mention of this little 4 letter word. And yet, testing is a part of life. Before you buy a car from a dealer, you want to "test drive" it before you place your most valuable treasures within it's carriage. Teachers want to "test" their students to find out whether the knowledge given was actually learned. Customers want to "taste test" foods so they can find out if they want more of a product. We "test" our children to see if they are ready for the next step in trust or responsibility.
And yet, when we read verses like Exodus 16:4, "Then the LORD said to Moses, "Behold, I am about to rain bread from heaven for you, and the people shall go out and gather a day's portion every day, that I may test them, whether they will walk in my law or not." and 1 Peter 4:12, "Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you." , we panic. It's one thing to be the one giving the test and a whole other thing to be the one given a test. I don't know about you but I am certainly more anxious than I am anticipating in the face of a test. I imagine most people get nervous about taking a test...having to prove oneself...what if I fail? What if I am wrong? Will they think I am stupid or ignorant? What if I am not as great as I think I am? And then when God says He will test us, there's a Holy-fear-humbling kind of panic...what if I fail...will it ever end...what if I am not as strong as I think I am....what if others see my lack of...will God give up on me...should I quit?
James 1: 2-3 says "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness." We want steadfastness but honestly, we want it given not earned by way of trial and yet God says that it is in the "testing of your faith" that you acquire steadfastness. Jesus understands the plea of "if there's any other way, please Lord." Our Sovereign Lord hears our pleas and know what we need. As a Parent to His Child and a Teacher to His Student, He will teach us then test us to see if we have actually learned from the knowledge given and are ready for the next step. 
Testing is not easy and it in fact can be very painful, pushing us to what feels like the end of oneself. One thing for sure, it reveals our limits, what we know and what we can handle. It's always a humbling reminder of how much we need the mercy and grace of our loving God. Without Him, I would certainly see my limit and give up. December 2008 was that very difficult season of testing for me and thanks to the precious people God brought into my life, they cheered me on in my faith, to the completion of that long and difficult test. It was a exhausting trial and without their steadfastness to stand with me, I would have certainly given up.
Sure, I have "meet trials of various kinds" since then. Some are small, quick tests while others are exhausting and seem never-ending. And yet, to every season of growth, there are beginnings and ends. They come as refining fires in every single area of our life. Our spirit's health is not separate from our relational or physical life. The Spirit living within me is a constant presence and guide therefore it affects all of me-my heart, mind, soul and body. It is up to me to prove that to be true as I believe, trust, surrender and devote my life to Him. (Thank you Pastor Nathan for this reminder Sunday.)
Sanctification tells us it's a never-ending process of one refining fiery test to the next. Steadfastness of faith will one day usher us to the Gates of Glory with Hallelujiah hands lifted high to our Teacher, Abba Father and Lord where we will be great in anticipation and void of anxiety.
So, next time you face a test, before you panic, won't you "consider it a joy, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness" and remember that "Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love Him." James 1:12 Embrace the opportunity to grow in your faith next time you face a trial and do not panic! Believe, Trust, Surrender, Devote yourself to remaining steadfast, standing at the Cross of Victory!!!
And by the way, if you have completed a recent test, won't you ask God to give you the opportunity to help another who is about to go through theirs. Don't you know they could use the encouragement. Stand by them faithfully and don't let them quit!!! Remind them of who God is and who they are in Him and this opportunity to grow in faith. 
A good Teacher cares enough to test His Students.
A good Father blesses His obedient Child. 
Are you learning? Are you trusting? Are you surrendering? Are you devoted?
Be strong. Be faithful. Be Blessed.

Father God, "Vindicate me, O LORD, for I have walked in my integrity, and I have trusted in the LORD without wavering. Prove me, O LORD, and try me; test my heart and my mind." Psalm 26:1-2 Till The Day of Completion, Amen.

Shade PLEASE!!!

After spending some time outside, a friend exclaimed, "Whew, it's soooo much better in the shade!!!" Indeed it is!!!! Nothing breaks the scorching glares of the sun than a good ole block of shade. Facing this intense ball of fire we call the Sun, which thankfully happens to be millions of miles away and yet, even with sunglasses on, sunblock and a hat, will burn you! Oh, the comfort of turning the corner of a building or even the shadow of a large oak tree brings instant relief from the heat-attack (which nearly leads to heat-strokes!!) Water, Water, Water people!!! 

These words of hers echoed in my head all day, with what I now know was an affirming of a lesson God was teaching me. As many of you know, my husband and I took a weekend trip and our ride on this little prop plane that delivered us to our destination was...interesting. We had the front 2 "lucky" seats which happened to face the rear of the plane!! Just one of His humors and many a little tests...

1. Being in front of people looking at you and not feeling overwhelmed....check.
2. Being calm on a little prop plane AND sitting by the exit door AND facing 100 people...check.
3. Staring at the fast spinning, metal propeller literally right out MY window, since I was facing backwards...check.


Now that all anxiety and panic attacks have been confirmed demolished in Jesus Name....AMEN!!!!!!, another lesson....


As we landed, the Holy Spirit drew my attention to the shadow created by the wing of the plane as we made our way to the gate. Depending on the direction of the wing and the sun above, the shadow would fluctuate under the wings as it casted it's shadow on the ground beneath. It would sometimes be to the left, front, back, directly under and even big and small...as the wings moved, the shadow moved. 

"Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in You my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of Your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by." Psalms 57:1

Shadows are not possible without the "Son." The Holy Spirit is the Wing that move us, shape us, and shield us. And the shade is God, our Rest, Refuge, Relief and Rescue. 

So the question is, when we are being "attacked" and things are "heating up" against us, where do we find these shadows and how do we stay in it as it moves once we find it? We must intentionally align ourselves under the Wings that lend us this Rescue and Refuge we so desperately need. As the wings above us move, so we too must move in alignment. That requires being intentional and clear-minded, willing and submissive, moveable yet not scattered, eyes that see and ears that hear the direction of the Holy Spirit. And for Goodness sake, if you just cannot seem to find some shade, ASK!!! Do not let pride or fear burn you, cuz it will!!! If you are lost or already overcome, call out for help!!! God will you rescue!! There is no fire He cannot extinguish! The Lord is our only Consuming Fire, amen!!!!!

Do you feel like you are being burned alive? At one time or another, we all get a little burned. We all go through difficult desert-like seasons where it's especially hot. Eventhough the shadow is always there, it may be small so that "For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison," II Corinthians 4:17. While other times, our thirsts are satisfied fully as we fill ourselves with the Living Water and rest in Him."On the last day of the feast, the great day, Jesus stood up and cried out, "If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. Whoever believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, 'Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.'" Now this He said about the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive, for as yet the Spirit had not been given, because Jesus was not yet glorified." John 7:37-39

 " The LORD repay you for what you have done, and a full reward be given you by the LORD, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge!" Ruth 2:12 

Be intentional: dive deep in the Word of God who Provides and Protects with Purpose, trusting Him to keep His promises, never leaving or forsaking you, growing you into His perfect design for you. Do not be overwhelmed or afraid when the heat is turned up! Gear up with the right armor and find your shade under the Wings of a Mighty and Faithful God!!!