When your loved one is suffering. Part One.

Do you have a loved one suffering with panic and anxiety attacks? I am betting that if you do, you are having a hard time understanding what they are going through and don't understand why it won't stop, why they say they think they might die. I know. That was my poor husband as I walked those scary and painful moments in 2008-2009. Honestly, your loved one who is suffering this heartache is asking themselves the same things. They don't get it either. 

As difficult as it has been to share my testimony and experiences with others, my spirit wants to testify to the goodness and sweetness of the Lord. In His grace, I found healing and the truest of love and kindness, and mighty, mighty power. But it took going through those dark days to see such pure Light. God's Word is full of testimonies of God's grace, provision and protection. I found such comfort being back in His Word, alive and active it is!! I felt less alone when I read the perils of Job and Paul and so many others. 

This is exactly why I began blogging and writing: to share and encourage. Yes, it's hard to visit those terrors but the hope to encourage and even save a life overshadows and uplifts me right over that pit of despair onto the wings of an eagle, soaring above defeat, shame and embarrassment. God has crossed my paths over the years with sweet Believers who have fallen into the same pits whom we have been able to share each other's journey, many in the middle of a valley. What a joy to celebrate hope and healing in Jesus Name together.

When I am sitting with the person in anguish, we speak the same language and as much as we get it, we don't get it. I liken it to listening to my teen speak calculus or when my husband it calling sports plays. I just don't understand their lingo. It's the same here. Until you have walked in the same shoes, it's a struggle to get it. 

We are able to feel what the other feels and understand the depths of it all, physically, emotionally and spiritually. But, when I find myself sitting with the loved one, they really don't get it. The look in their eyes was the same bewilderment my husband had with me many years back. He just didn't understand what it felt like to be in my body. 

He couldn't understand when I shut down or quickly fled situations, why I was so exhausted, why I couldn't handle loud noises and big crowds. One of the most painful stings to the heart is the look of weirdness, puzzlement, judgement, nervousness in your loved one's eyes looking back at you in your moment of fear. 

These were the moments "fake it till you make it" were necessary, just to avoid that look. To avoid the pain it pressed like a sword into the depth of me. It slayed me, reminding me of how crazy I was, shame flooding every part of my soul. And if this loved one who had my back looked at my like this and couldn't understand what I was experiencing, how could anyone else, and how much deeper would their look slash my soul? So, we hide, mask and protect. 

Thankfully, the Lord heard my cries and sent me rescue and all the while, I prayed for my husband to have compassion and understanding. He was one of my first subscribers to the blog, learning more about my experience than I was able to verbalize. Also, we had 4 kids running around the house and it wasn't something we just called out and spoke about. I wanted to continue on as normal and stable, conquering and hopeful, calm and collected as a true perfectionist and encourager personality. 

Over time, through healing helps of Christian counseling, natural remedies of essential oils and vitamins, Scripture memory work and meditation, a deep and purposeful prayer life, worshiping without wondering, letting go of perfectionism, accountability of a few trustworthy Sisters in Christ, re-prioritizing my life and schedule, addressing how I was (not) taking care of my body, mind and spirit. All these combined together for the help and healing, overcoming and conquering I experienced against fear. To God be all the power, and glory!

Recently, several loved ones have approached me about my journey, asking for help in dealing with their loved one suffering in anguish. With all my writings focused on the anguished person, I thought I would write to the loved one because I know as many who suffer with panic and anxiety attacks, there are that many more loved ones trying to understand them and help them. 

Lord knows you need the same help, love, hope and encouragement as you deal with the heartache and confusion in dealing with your loved one's current battle. So, in the next blog, I will share with you a few simple helps from my own personal experience in hopes to encourage each person touched by these attacks in compassion and hope.

Meanwhile, meditate and believe on Jeremiah 29:11-13, 

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

 Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will hear you.

You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart."

To God be all our glory, help, hope and praise, amen.

Click Here for When your loved one is suffering. Part Two.

Can You Afford NOT to Take a Sick Day?

We tell our kids at the first sign of sickness, to rest, take your medicine or else they will get worse. We give them their vitamins, extra grace and help. We write out letters to teachers and coaches explaining why our child needs to sit out and take a break.

But what about us? For the Stay at Home Mom it is hard to stop and rest for there is sooo much to be done and for my Working Friends, I know this is equally true and probably even harder because they have deadlines and finances that are dependent on their presence and work load. I think it’s hard for any adult to take a sick day. We don’t have someone standing over us caring for our health, telling us to stop and rest and they will take care of things while we are down….or do we?

When we look at this physically, as we realize we are getting a cold, our nose starts to tickle and our voices begin to shake and our bodies begin aching, we notice it and we take action-either rest or deny. Others may notice our less than patient attitude and the grumpy demeanor we walk around with, but do we take heed and rest? Probably not. Too much to do. We just push through the pain and sometimes selfishly expose others to our illness cuz we don’t want to slow down and rest. Oftentimes it takes us getting the rug yanked out from underneath us with severe illness to slow down and rest, and then we we call in a “sick” day.

When we look at this spiritually, we don’t always realize we are getting a “spiritual cold” until the rug is pulled out from underneath us and we fall flat on our face. But what if we noticed the warning signs of a looming “spiritual cold” and were able to get the rest we need to avoid a spiritual crisis? Do we take heed when those around us notice our grumpy demeanor, the lack of passion or pursuit in our walk with the Lord as we once had serving Him? Do we choose to take heed and rest? Probably not. Too much to do. We just push through the pain and sometimes selfishly expose others to our germs cuz we don’t want to slow down and rest. Oftentimes it takes us getting the rug yanked out from underneath us to slow down and rest, and in which we have no choice but to call in a “sick” day.

Let me remind you that there is "someone" watching over you! Actually lots of someones...God and His army and Satan and His army. Both stand ready at the gate to defend you (God) or destroy you (Satan.) The Holy Spirit is our protecting CareGiver. His indwelling within us knows our “temperature” and whispers to us to rest up, get those vitamins going again, hydrate on The Living Water and feed yourself on the simple food of Daily Bread to settle yourself. But do we listen? Does it take us becoming so spiritually depleted, weak and empty before we call in a “sick” day? Oh how stubborn we are! We think we can just get better by doing nothing, just ignore it and it will go away. Well, we know that isn’t true physically and it also isn’t true emotionally or spiritually. 

God says Come to me those who are weary, and rest. He is there, our Abba Father, caring for His children who don’t always recognize they are sick and need to stop and rest. He has already written His letter of “excused absence” on your behalf. And sometimes when we can’t hear those whispers, He will graciously send some on-call Believers to make a house call and show you your symptoms, take your temperature and bring you your Daily Bread and hydrate you with Living Water. And then, if you reject their care for you, The Great Physician will step in and work on you. And trust me, His meds and methods are not a quick fix, or pleasant. He describes some of His recovery places where we are placed in isolation to stop the spread of our “germs”- in the pit, in the dessert, in the valley, in the wilderness, in the sea. (Wouldn’t that be a whole other interesting study!!!) 

So, what does it mean to take a “sick” day? I think for each of us it will look different. Some may need to take time away from the house and job for a period of time, maybe a day at home with nothing "being done" but resting, or a day away at the park or a weekend at a retreat center. Maybe God has sent you a friend to come alongside you and bring you "meds" once a week over a cup of coffee or lunch, or to talk about the plan for healing over the phone once a week as needed. Maybe time spent with a loved one that gets you and can make you laugh tears of joy through the tears of pain. Maybe you need to go to a professional counselor and work on some therapy, for however long as needed. 
For me, it was all the above. I needed to takes of rest at home, a time off from all the doings, other days I get away from the house and sit with just my God, enjoying every bite of Bread and Water, breathing in the fresh air of His grace and love. I also went to therapy once a week with a Believing therapist and a doctor. I changed my spiritual diet and took my daily prescribed Holy Word meds and began to restore and revive my broken and depleted soul. 
I find that every day, best I am able, I rest. Just 15-30 min of peace and quiet to sit still before the Lord. I still do these things to this day because I do not want to go into another preventable crisis that is painful to overcome. Daily, I "take my temperature," starting with the break of every new day, I rest my heart and soul mid day, I nourish myself throughout the day with Bread and Water, I take vitamins of goodness and “fruit” snacks (like listening to sermons, reading books, worship music, etc), and when I lay my head down at the end of the night, oh what peace to lay still and curl up in His arms. Days I get the shakes and stiffness, I will call in sick. I make an intentional choice to stop and get help. I sometimes will spend time with a friend who I know loves me and will intercede for me, giving me the Truth in love and hope I so desperately need, and other times, like today, I am sitting here alone on my favorite spot on the beach just for a few. Bible in hand, journal opened, and Water plenty!! Each wave crashes as if into my soul and washes away my grit and grim. I find myself wishing every day could be like this and am reminded that one day for me, it will be. I will one day find myself soaking in The Son on the shore of my Savior forever and ever. Until that day, I will work zealously, faithfully, and wholeheartedly…taking sick days when I need them. 
How careful we must be not to judge one another...you never know why someone may be taking a day off, going on vacation, sitting alone at the park, temporarily stepping down from serving at church, suddenly needing fellowship with Believers, asking those mysterious "unspoken" prayer requests, crying in church or on your couch. Why sometimes people go off the radar for a season, or two. They may be "sick" and need some time off for healing.
So, may I encourage you from someone who has always had a hard time taking a sick day…take it if you need it! If you are beginning to see the warning signs of spiritual sniffles, shaking or stiffness, teak heed and rest!! You will only get worse and meanwhile selfishly expose your spiritual germs to others. You cannot ignore it and get better. You have too much to do that you must get the healing you need. You cannot afford not to take a sick day!!!

And maybe God is calling you as one of His On-Call Believers to gently encourage and admonish another, be sure that you take with you the right meds...The Bread and The Water necessary to administer to them. God's Word is a healing balm to the soul!!!!! There is no greater medicine than ones from the Great Physician and Healer! 

“And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.” 1 Thessalonians 5:14 (ESV)

Getting Past the Bumps in the Road

Well, little guy has done such a great job without his training wheels, we decided to take some neighborhood bike rides and one of them was on the bayou. The bumpy bayou. As I rode behind him, I gave him navigational instructions like going around certain stumps, watch out for dips, look for trash, etc. Then, we trailed through some loose gravel and he began to stop in the middle of all the rocks and he couldn't balance and get through it. He came to a complete stop and couldn't easily get going again. As I said, "KEEP PEDALING!! You cannot stop in the middle of the bumps because your tires will loose their grip and have a hard time getting back going through it," I felt the lesson pressing into my soul for me. "Yes Michele, when you get to the bumps, keep pedaling and don't stop or you will get stuck too. You have to keep moving forward or you will slip or stop."  Oh how true. 
It had been a very difficult week for me, a bumpy month actually, and I faced lots of bumps in my road. I was moving forward as usual and then came upon some bumpy roads... and I hesitated, not sure if I could go through them, so I slowed down, lost my balance which took me a while to get back going and get past the "bumps" in my "road." 
When we are going through life and we approach the bumps, may our first instinct not be one of panic. We know we must get through them and we know we can get through them if we go carefully, without stopping! The scene from Finding Nemo comes to mind "just keep swimmin' ." With confident assurance, we must continue to navigate through the loose gravel before us and get to the other side of the mess. If we stop, 1.) we will not get where we need to go; 2.)  though it's possible, it makes it very difficult to get started in the midst of the gravel.
The next time I approach bumps in my road, I hope to keep my confidence, and sound wisdom, knowing I can get past them if I will simply hold on tight, carefully passing through, without slipping, stopping or even speeding through like a loose cannon 'cuz that can make you loose control quickly! Just keep pedalin', Just keep pedalin'!

"Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man. Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.
My son, do not lose sight of these-- keep sound wisdom and discretion, and they will be life for your soul and adornment for your neck. Then you will walk on your way securely, and your foot will not stumble. If you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Do not be afraid of sudden terror or of the ruin of the wicked, when it comes, for the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught." Proverbs 3:5-18, 37-46


Lord, keep us strong, confident and steady on the road marked with suffering. We cling to You. Lead us straight through in peace and confidence as we desire to trust You with all our heart and acknowledge You as the keeper of our path. May our foot not be caught. What Satan intends for evil, You oh Lord, intend for good. We bow our hearts, souls and minds to You, our Faithful God and Father, our Savior and Friend. Thank You for our healing and the refreshment You bring to our bones. You are worthy of all our praise and our cup overflows. Thank You for Your patience and forgiveness when we hesitate. Help our eyes stay fixed on You alone. We will follow You. Help us be faithful. amen.