Teaching our kids how to Overcome Problems with Praise

It's one thing to teach your kids about how to deal with stressful situations and a whole other to have to show them! Our actions will validate or destroy our words.
After the kids had some dental work done yesterday morning, we headed out for some breakfast and errands before we left the mainland. (It's an 1.5hr drive home.)
PROBLEMS:
Just a few miles from the office at a huge intersection, my car freaks out! My break pedal starting lifting against my foot while I was breaking!! Then the power steering went out!! I was in the turn lane to make a u-turn! That wasn't gonna happen. I didn't even know if I'd get all the way across it before my car died. Or, if I was losing my break and was gonna run into the guy in front of me!
Good news, got to side street, pulled up into sidewalk of street (no curbs here!) I was off to the side safely and under a tree! Next to a gas station!
Turned off car, popped hood-no Fire. No problem! Called mechanic and told me can't drive it. Belt was gone! Called tow truck.
To make long story short, we waited almost 4hrs for tow truck to show up but thanks to generous ladies, we were able to go to store to get drinks and donuts and air conditioning.
The kids were frustrated and I was exhausted and frustrated. Their pain meds also were wearing off! We had left the house at 5:20am and we should have been home at Noon. But here we are sitting at a car repair shop in a city we don't know at 4pm...tired, hungry, not feeling well.
I wanted to loose it.
I wanted to yell at the wreckers for canceling and then being hours later than promised.
I wanted to yell at the insurance company who would only pay to tow it to nearest shop where I broke down and not my own hometown.
I wanted to yell at the kids to stop fussing and complaining.
I wanted to yell at God for not granting us a salary that allows us to have bought a new vehicle.
The kids wanted to yell because they missed rehearsals and our big pool party at church!!
I wanted to yell just cuz I felt like yelling! Somehow yelling will jolt the universe back into a perfect way right?!?
Wrong.
Thankfully I am not an outward exploder...but I do yell inside where only my heart freaks out!
What do we accomplish by yelling? Exploding externally or internally? Nothing. Well, we actually do a lot of damage, accomplishing nothing to move us forward, but only moving us where we feared we would end up...to only end up there because we took ourselves there one step or word at a time.
The shop manager commended me on my calm demeanor and good behavior of bored and tired kids. He said people usually are cursing at this point in a day like ours.

May we be seen as the salt and light of the earth, a city on a hill! Not a torch on a hunt!
PRAISES:
But God.....God has given us glorious provisions. Because yelling accomplishes nothing and praise accomplishes everything!! I had watching eyes and listening ears. I had a God who I trusted was with me helping me manage. I had an opportunity to allow my actions to be my words. As a parent, we say a lot, but how often do we get the chance to show them in real life? How can we overcome our problems? We count our blessings. Disciplining ourselves to find the blessings keeps ours hearts and minds focused on our victory and hope. It keeps Satan from getting a foothold. Remaining calm helps us think and process more clearly.

Counting our blessings:
*We broke down in town at 10mph, not on the freeway at 70mph.
*We broke down in the shade under a tree God provided like Jonah had, not under the open sun.
*We have insurance that covers towing even if it wasn't where I wanted it to take me.
*We met kind Mamas only 5 min away we could trust at the office to take us to a store, we were not left without help.
*While my husband was out of state unable to come help, he was able to talk to us on the phone to offer help.
*We were in a safe place, with air conditioning and wifi, and ice cold sodas to offer!!
*Even though I left so early in the morning, my friend was able to go over and check on my puppy.
*The shop rented us a loaner so we could go eat dinner from 5-6pm while they repaired the belt they just happened to be able to get last minute.

*We we were able to get the car fixed and drive it home.

*Our drive home was uneventful and we arrived safe and sound.

God was actually very gracious to us today and I praise Him for all He allowed to happen and not to happen.

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12

"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:21

"Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 

Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." Deuteronomy 6:5-7

A Crying Womb

Mother's Day. The one day of the year we turned our hearts and intentions over to our Moms. It is a beautiful day filled with hand made cards, chocolates and flowers, breakfast in bed, lunch and dinner prepared by someone else's hands, neck and foot massages and to top it off, a day of peacefulness. A day when the kids at home don't complain or argue and they shower you with thankfulness of your awesome Mothering skills; and the kids outside the home video call so you can see their sweet faces and hear their adult voices telling you how much they miss you and appreciate all you have done for them. You flip through old pictures of days gone by. Then, your womb smiles as you lay your head down sweetly on the pillow, wrapping your arms around your waist, feeling so blessed, surely God has been generous. Was this your Mother's Day? Mine either. But oh to dream....

For some of us, Mother's Day is the day our womb cries...
Heaven's gain was our loss until the day we get to hold our child in our arms once again, or for some...the first time.
Our womb longs for our prodigal child to come home.
It aches to create.
Our womb reminds us of the one we came from that we never knew, or rejected us.
It cries for the womb that once held us, wishing we could be held by her one more time.

For some of us, Mother's Day is full of tears. If this is you, my heart is so sorry. Do not believe you are broken or for some reason rejected by God, or man. Satan is the destroyer of Life. Never stop believing God has purposed everything about you and in you. Days like this open the tiny wounds where our tears seep out once again. God says, seek Me.
May you feel the warm embrace of our Lord, the unconditional Love of your Heavenly Father as He bundles you up in His tender arms. He knows the loss of a child. He has children who curse His name and have run away. He has children who have crushed His heart. He understands longing and grief, but He is a faithful, hopeful Father, Who never looses sight of the eternal birth, more precious than what the flesh produces. In His womb, we received a new birth and we give birth. May our wombs turn mourning into rejoicing in the weight of His womb. May we long most for His Miracle of Life, even if it means our wombs will not produce fleshly children. Children are a gift from the Lord, and they can come from anywhere, in any way. May each of us Mother the ones God has placed into our loving care, by flesh or by spirit. There is no greater joy, than a quiver full!!! Happy Mother's Day!! You are complete and whole in Him! Let everything that has breath praise the Lord! Psalm 150:6

Psalm 139: 13-18 (ESV) "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Our eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you." 

John 3:3-7 (ESV) "Jesus answered him, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God."
Nicodemus said to him, "How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother's womb and be born?" Jesus answered, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, 'You must be born again.'"

Thank You Heavenly Father for the Gift of Life, especially the Life You birthed in us. Lord, for those of us who's wombs are crying tears of joy and thanksgiving, we thank You. For those of us whose wombs have only cried tears of grief, comfort us and heal our aches. Thank You for sustaining our own lives. Because of our Mothers here on earth, we have been given life. Lord, bless the Moms as only You are able. Only you Lord can see the tears of our wombs and we offer thanksgiving for wiping each one. Thank You for miracle work of birth, in the flesh and in the spirit. 

You are an amazing, tender-loving Father. Thank You for Your example of how to love our children here, whether by flesh or spirit. May Your patience and grace lead us every day and fill our hearts with the purposes and hopes You have waiting for us. We acknowledge You as the Creator of all things and trust Your perfect birthing plan, to create and sustain life according to the "wait" of Glory. We praise You for our Life. Thank You for the gift of Moms who flesh us out. Heal wombs Lord that are aching and protect our Mommy hearts from discouragement, disbelief and despair, for You are good, the Sustainer and Producer of Life that is Everlasting. Thank You for Your Love, amen.

A Fortress of Faith

"The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe." 

Proverbs 18:10 (ESV)

Fort Jefferson was built in the 1800's, 70 miles outside of Key West, Florida. It stands today as a monument of beautiful design and towering strength. Click here for a link to read more about this historical marker. This is a place you most definitely want to take your camera. Between the masonry and the illuminating waters surrounding it, there isn't a square inch down there you won't get a good shot.

Our Texas friends who are National Park stamp collectors joined us for this day trip out there during their recent visit to see us here in The Keys. We bought the tickets, loaded up the cameras and off we went. Our 5am departure time came early just as we expected it would and even though our new little Starbucks said it would be open at 5:30am, the empty parking lot and dark interior revealed otherwise. An hour later we arrived at McD's for our first cup of java, happy juice, anti-grumpy coffee or morning juice...whatever you want to call it! 

At 7am we boarded the 100' ferry and headed out to this famous fort in The Beautiful Dry Tortugas. Slowly the fort came into view on the horizon after our 2 hour ride out. It wasn't as large as I had imagined but it was beautiful, and oh those turquoise waters. So lovely!
As we approached the fort, the broken pieces of the walls became more evident the closer we got. It has bravely stood the test of time. Our guide warned us to be careful not to lean against or out of any of the windows otherwise, we may become fish filets. It was a strong structure overall and a grand sight to take in from the gravel path up on the top wall to the waters below...and yet we needed to be careful of our steps, putting pressure on the walls and avoiding holes that eroding had dug. This strong tower has held it's own for a loooong time. While it seemed to be wasting away, it held together strong, hosting thousands of people walking it's echoing hallways, climbing it's spiral stairs and strolling along the upper hilltop. How is is still standing after all this time?!? Sure, there are places that have been bound up and strengthened with iron or new bricks, but the massive structure was strong. 
Taking it all in, I began to feel the character of this fort. It was just like me. While my outer is wasting away, I stand strong on the inside, held together by The Glue of Jesus, my Cornerstone.
I am a strong tower in Jesus name, held together by grace. I have been pressed, but not crushed. I have been struck down, yet not destroyed, even though it felt like I would be. We are forts of faith! There are broken pieces, rough edges, missing parts, gaps, all the while being kept in perfect peace and power. In our weakness, He is our strength.
What a wonderful view of the Body of Christ too. When one part is weak, it is the surrounding ones around securing it, embracing it, and keeping it as one, in Jesus Name. We uphold each other as we stand on our Sure Foundation. I have no doubt if one of these walls were standing alone, it would have crumbled under the weight of time and circumstantial pressure. But because it is bound together as one...it holds the strength of the whole. Be encouraged friend. Just because you may feel defeated, doesn't mean you are! We cannot judge what we see, rather trust what we know! Faith holds us together. Faith makes mountains move!

Together, we are stronger! Therefore, do not loose heart! We are a Fortress of Faith who is able to stand the test of time and circumstantial pressures that press in. We may need healing and help, but we will not be destroyed! Our Cornerstone stands Forever! AMEN!!

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed...Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 

2 Corinthians 4: 8-9, 16-18

Overwhelmed by Grace in the middle of my piles!

Socks, shirts, towels, oh my!!! These self-multiplying piles of laundry will keep me on my toes. We are a family of 6 (the oldest is off to college) and if I didn't know it for a fact, it would be my prediction these enormous piles must represent a dozen people! Between the gym clothes, pool suits and towels and regular clothes, the 5 of us can pile it on! 
Last week, I was out of town for 3 days at the YOU Lead & Living Proof Live Conference with Beth Moore and Travis Cottrell, which was wonderful by the way. In preparation for me being gone, I prepared some meals for the hubs to easily serve up and made sure all laundry was clean. All this work 1.) because I am the one who does all the meal and laundry in the home and 2.) honestly, I didn't want to be bombarded all weekend with questions: Where's the Pam spray? Do we have cinnamon rolls? Where's my other purple sock? Have you seen my cargo shorts? How do I make....?
All went according to planned! Hubs and kids had all they needed and texts were only I Love Yous and Miss Yous. I should however have thought a few more days ahead in my planning because I was exhausted physically and emotionally. This girl needs more than 5 hours of sleep and it needs to be solid sleep for me to function well the next day and that was not the case this weekend. Thank The Lord for His strength and endurance to stay alert and engaged despite my sleepiness. Saturday nights return home is a blur to me. All I remember was getting into my comfy pjs and plopping down on the couch with the kiddos cuddled up like a pile of puppies. Completely filled and completely drained in every way! 
The following day was a full day of church and baseball (which happened to be back up on the mainland 2 hours north) and Monday was my bday, so no cleaning or house duties happened this day either! Tuesday was errand day to replenish the pantry and asses the upcoming house duties, baseball schedules and homework assignments. Tons of laundry needed to be done by now. With a house full of this many people using several outfits a day, it adds up! Even though the oldest does his own laundry, I will chip in depending on his schedule with school and work and this was a week he needed my extra help, so I did one load for him. 
It was overwhelming. Standing in the middle of my house taking a 360 degree inventory of all that needs to be done in order to be caught up, will be the very reason I leave the house and go for a walk or work on a random project. So that my mind can stop freaking out and feeling overwhelmed. Calmly and ready to hit it head on, I make my list and get to it, doing all I can without drowning under it all. It's just what happens when you don't stay ontop of it all or plan accordingly. When laundry stays continually rotating through, food is planned for, time for rest is alloted, schedules are managed, when chores are distributed and shared, life at home is less overwhelming.
As I sat there buried under the pile of stinky little clothes, grass stained uniforms and damp towels, hungry with no clue what remnants were left to prepare for my family, gazing upon the floors needing to be swept and mirrors needing to be wiped and toilets...well, let's just say they became first priority...my heart was grateful for grace. Oh the grace of God to look upon my mess surrounding me and accept me into His arms. How wonderful to not have to "clean up or catch up" in order to immediately fellowship with Him. Sitting there on my dirty floors, amongst dirty clothes and a pitiful attitude, He sat down with me.
Friend, you do not need to clean yourself up in order to invite Him in. He is unaffected with what surrounds you. Nothing will prevent Him from answering your cry for help or fellowship.  Such a mighty God, His sweet fellowship will restore to you a joy to get "it" done whatever that may be in your life today. He is a God of Rescue and a God of Refuge and Strength. Though you may be weak and overwhelmed, Grace will be your strength to accomplish what needs to be done.
So, if it has been a long time since you have been in church, prayed, had a quiet time with Him, confessed sin, fellowshiped in His name with other Believers, read your Bible, I encourage you and remind you to call upon Him now! There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus! Romans 8! Shame, embarrassment and condemnation are from the enemy who seeks to kill and destroy! John 10:10. Right where you are, amongst the piles of all things dirty, He is with you even so, to help you clean! Psalm 51:10-12. Call out to Him and He is faithful to answer!! What wonderful news! Bless the Giver of Grace! My we find ourselves overwhelmed by Grace and not by this world.

Father God, bless us in our mess and redeem us out of the weights that pull us under. Thank You for the grace you extend so abundantly for Your children. May You find us faithful to answer the calls You place in our days just as You are faithful to us. Thank You for Your Kingship and Your Friendship with us. You truly are our Refuge and Strength. Holy Spirit draw us away from temptations of this world and bring us into the shelter of Your wings that we may fellowship and worship instead of freaking out and worrying. There is no greater Name than Yours Alighty, The Great I Am, Pit Redeemer and Strength Saver, Compassionate Christ the Lord. We thank You for the Gift of Grace amongst all this stinky stuff of earth. May we be a sweet aroma to You in all we think, say and do. We worship you from the Sanctuary and the Laundry Room, in Your Sweet Gracious Name, amen.

Golf & God

This weekend I enjoyed “golfing” with my college son. He recently took up the game of golf when he moved back to Texas to attend college, so I was eager to watch him play. 

Yes, he played, I watched…(and took pictures, of course)! 

It was a beautiful, crisp, sunny day in good ol Texas. I absolutely love my kiddos, so anything I get to do with them is a thrill for this Mama’s heart. And if you have more than 2 kiddos, you know getting one-on-one time with any one of them is a thrill, and a blessing, nearly a miracle!

We moved to Florida just over a year ago, but our oldest graduated last year and ended up in Texas for college. I was blessed to get to fly in for the weekend to hang out and hug on him. Oh, and not to mention get my fill of melt in your mouth fajitas! Yeeessss!!!!! Something you cannot find out here in the islands. I know, what a sacrifice. I hear your sarcasm, cuz it's mine too!

Friday, he loaded up his clubs and I loaded up my camera and off we went to the course. 

It’s the end of winter in Texas which means everything is brownish-yellow with hints of green in it’s landscapes. Very different from the island life of all shades of plush greens. There's something wonderful and majestic about all the old moss hanging off the old sprawling oak trees. 

Hole 1. 

Not wanting to get in his way, I sat back in the golf cart taking in the scenery, watching my man-child study his million dollar shot on the fairway. I didn’t care if he hit it off into the other side of the course on Hole 6. I was loving just being there. I had shade. I had a kinda-view, but... I couldn’t see his shot. The top of the golf cart blocked me being able to see the ball zipping through the air. And there was no hope of me trying to focus my eyes to watch where it would potentially and hopefully drop some 250 yards away. 

So, I climbed out of the cart and would stand up and watch it and half the time I lost it in the sky. Ugh! I blame by 40 year old eyesight. Or lack of! 

He'd holler over, “Did ya see that?!?” Yes, I saw it on the tee, but then I lost it against the blue sky drenched with white puffy clouds.

 No doubt, some he was hoping I didn’t see while other shots sat right where he had hoped they would. 

After a few missed viewings he called me over to the green, “Come here Mama.” He said, “Stand right next to me and you will be able to watch the ball from where I stand and see where it goes.” I felt kinda awkward standing there in my blue jeans, flip flops with big ol camera in hand. But, he was right. The view and perception were grand! 

Standing closer, I could actually see the ball take flight. Some zipped straight down the middle while there were a few that spliced off to the left. 

What a wonderful moment and a perfect view! I could see his facial expressions as he focused and was taking aim. I noticed the slight adjustments his body made as he positioned himself on the course. I felt the hush, the determination, the power of his swing.

 And then I watched as he executed the full body twist and swing. What an adrenaline rush to be so close and feel what he feels, see what he sees. Guess where I stood for the rest of the time...yep, just behind him. There was no better view than his!

When we draw close to God, we have the same thrill and advantage as we position ourselves for the perfect view. 

Just as my son didn't explain to me where he would send the ball, God doesn’t always explain the path to us. 

We stand with Him because we desire to see what He sees and we trust His intentions. He knows what He's doing. God is faithful to bring us close to Him and show us what He sees and feel what He feels as we take in things from His view.

How true it is when we draw closer seeking our Lord that we find the joy of seeing His expressions of grace and love, compassion and mercy. The closer we get, the clearer we see the slight changes in His direction as He leads us along still waters, through valleys from glory to glory. We can feel His intensity and power. 

Nothing on this side of Heaven is more thrilling to me than seeing God do His thing, from His creation to His compassion. He is wonderful Savior, beautiful Counselor and Mighty Warrior. 

There is none like Him and we are each invited to stand next to Him, to see a view much grander and fuller than from the sidelines. What a thrill of a view! You will never be satisfied again staying back off in the cart where you think you belong where you cannot possibly see fully all there is to see. 

Yes, it may feel awkward and you may feel out of place at times when God calls you up to the greens, but I promise you, you will not regret the view! 

(And, by the way, up on the greens is where you can better see the sand pits, water dangers and gators on the banks! Trust me, you want to be on The Greens!)

Matthew 7:7-8 ESV "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 

For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened."

Psalm 23 

"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 

He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. 

He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever."

Here are some of my favorite shots from the course:

Power inside Two Little Words

Most High. This two simple words, Most High, almost escaped me of their power and meaning. I am so glad God didn't allow that. After writing them close to a hundred times in my journal, I was becoming numb to them..."Here they are again...(writing)...Most....H-i-g-h. While I love studying, I tend to avoid things that feel "repeated" if that makes sense. 

In my heart, I am looking for a fresh word from God so to write something over and over again causes me to want to brush it off and yet, we know that God uses repetition to get our attention and make a point. He was faithful to teach me this truth once again.

Over the past year, I have been studying the Psalms for the names of God. Each time I came across a description of Who He was, I'd write it down and note the verse. What a beautiful page to read at the end of my study time. 

God

LORD

Maker

Almighty

God of Jacob

my Refuge

my Portion

God of heaven

Lord of lords

God of gods

Mighty One

The Lord is God

God of my salvation

Holy One

God my King

Father of the fatherless

Protector of widows

God...Most...High

Most...High 

Because I was committed to write down every "name" as I came across it, even the ones I had already written a hundred times, after a long while I thought to myself, "Okay...already wrote that one enough times, let's just keep going." 

Maybe it was my stubbornness, maybe it was my perfectionism or maybe it was good ol conviction and correction from God Most High Himself. While I didn't want to write it down, I couldn't not write it down. It didn't make sense to me why I needed to write the same one sooooo many times, until now. I get it. God clearly wanted me to know Who was Most High. So, I looked up the definitions. 

According to Webster's Dictionary:

most: greatest in amount or degree; to the greatest extent; extremely; very

high: far above ground, sea level, or another point of reference; extending above the normal or average level; great, or greater than normal, in quantity, size or intensity; morally or culturally superior 

Wow. The God I seek to know is the God, Most-High. He is far above my point of reference, greater in quantity and intensity than all else, and He is superior. He is extremely God. He is superior to the greatest extent! This is my God! He is above all! 

May we remember Who we are seeking after and Who we call LORD our God. He is High above our circumstances. He is Higher than the battle we are fighting. He is Most capable. God, is Most High. 

Two simple words to describe the Greatest Power and Authority over all the heavens and the earth. No one and no thing is above Him. He's the Highest. He's the Most.

God, thank You for pressing these words into my spirit. When I feel strong, I praise You for giving me the Most power to conquer what comes against me. When I feel weak, I praise You for rescuing me from the pit and taking me Higher. Forgive me for the times I minimize Your Greatness, You are God Most High, my Salvation, my Refuge and my Strength. God, You are Higher than any other. I trust You to protect and provide for me all that I need. Who else is as great as You! I praise Your name and am thankful for Your intense Love. I know You Love me More. Help me love You back the same. Help Your children remember to never become numb to You. Forgive us for making You too familiar, common, or small, bringing You down to our human point of reference, for You are to the greatest extent, Most High. Amen. 

"Clap your hands, all peoples! Shout to God with loud songs of joy!

For the LORD, the Most High, is to be feared, a great king over all the earth. 

He subdued peoples under us, and nations under our feet. 

He chose our heritage for us, the pride of Jacob whom he loves. 

God has gone up with a shout, the LORD with the sound of a trumpet. 

Sing praises to God, sing praises! Sing praises to our King, sing praises! 

For God is the King of all the earth; sing praises with a psalm! 

God reigns over the nations; God sits on his holy throne. 

The princes of the peoples gather as the people of the God of Abraham. For the shields of the earth belong to God; he is highly exalted!" Psalm 47

Where Faith Is: Happy Anniversary

I thought I would take a journey back to 2009 and reflect back on the praises of God's redemption and life-breathing, life-giving grace He poured out over me. Here I sit in 2015 and count with great joy the every day God has allowed me the honor and privilege to not only feast at His table of Living Water and Daily Bread, but the opportunities He has given me to share this journey with others. I am always amazed that so many others can relate after feeling like I was the only one suffering silently. There surely is strength in numbers. This is why I blog...to remember the journey milestones and to stand as a testimony to others. These blog posts are my living stones. As I read through them years later, such as today, on the 7 year anniversary of my season of crisis, I am encouraged once again despite the absolute sadness that lays underneath the story. It is soooo often out of our greatest pains come our greatest praises!! To God be all the glory, amen!!

Thank you to all of you who have trusted me with your time in sharing along with this blog and life journey. I pray you have seen more of God than you have of my words.

Below is a link to an older post, one year later, in 2009.

Thanks for all your love, prayers and supports. I love to hear from you!

Blessings, Michele

Click on link:
Where Faith Is: Happy Anniversary: One year ago today my life radically changed. As much as it took a turn for the worse, it was also God's design for my best. I assume y...

I Just Assumed...not any more!

I met a new friend this past week and in our "get to know" moment as we shared our story, a sentence came out of my mouth I had never thought of before and certainly had never said. I can only assume it was a God moment. Sometimes my assumption are right. Sometimes they are wrong.
Being the new (guy) gal in the community, I have been asked close to hundred times now, "What's your story? Why are you here?" Each time I get to share, God reminds me of His plan and the perfection of His timing. Last week was really no different...same testimony, different new friend. After sharing the summary of details and God's divine leading us in our move to Florida, I said these "crazy" words as a summery point of how God has been working on me over the past several years. This phrase came out my mouth for the first time... Assumptive Living. Assumptive Living. I said, "God has taken me from living a life of assumptive living to intentional living." I sat kinda of dumb founded for a minute trying to process why in the world did I just say that. 
Over the past several years, God has been walking me though Intentional Living. So much so, he even brought a dear Mentor and Friend into my life who actually used those words every time she talked. God could not have been obvious. She was a huge part of the refining process my heart and mind needed to endure and be shaped by. Knowing why I do what I do. Choosing to own my actions and not play the blame game in life. Stepping out in courage after the things God calls me to. Being intentional about growing in my knowledge and deepening my love with my Savior and Abba Father. But the years before this....not so much. I intentionally...assumed.
I have always described my personality issues as anxious and shy. One who fears the unknown, a follower not a leader. But then there were these words...Assumptive Living...wow. It was true. I had never thought about that before. For most of my life, I have been fearful and anxious. I feel it inside me, raised blood pressure and heart racing, feeling as if I couldn't breath. Double checking everything I do in fear of judgement, which would lead to fear of rejection. Ever watchful of my surrounding, fearful of personal harm to me or my kids. Choosing to always follow to avoid failing. Avoiding others or opportunities felt safer to me than putting myself out there. I assumed the worst. I assumed. There it was. Assumptive Living.
If we go through life assuming we will fail, we will never try. We will never accomplish what we have been called to do. If we assume rejection, we will never have victory or courage to embrace and enjoy meaning relationships and friendships or partnerships in the work place. If we assume someone is always looking to harm us or one of our loved ones, we will never fully appreciate the beauty of God's creation. We will see so narrowly, that we miss the big picture. What kind of life is Assumptive Living? I will tell you. 
It's one thing to assume the worst and plan for the worst verses planning for the worst and hoping for the best. I realize now in hindsight how much anxiety and fear I self-created simply by assuming. How I must have grieved the heart of God with how I lived so wrongly fearful and anxious...never resting in His arms or grasping my identity in His Name. Oh the power I didn't claim, the grace I rejected, the blessings I missed. Something no one else knew, and I didn't even recognize myself back then. Thank God, His mercies are new every morning! Lamentation 3!! Looking back, my identity was not His...
I assumed I wouldn't be successful. Inadequate
I assumed I was making wrong choices. Doubting
I assumed my friend would not like me once they got to know me. Insecure
I assumed everyone else must be right, assuming they must be more intelligent or talented than I. Minimal 
I assumed I was the "lesser than" of the group. Pitiful
I assumed others could do it better, whatever "it" was at the time. Dumb
I assumed my husband would find other women sexier than me. Ugly
I assumed other parents has mastered this thing called parenting. Judgement
I assumed all the other Stay At Home Moms had perfectly cleaned house and dinner prepped for week on Sunday and all their clothes were in their rightful place. Comparison
I just assumed everything, even spiritually....
I assumed God loved me because that is what I had been taught in every church, in every Bible study, at every conference. 
I assumed and hoped He would always be with me. 
I assumed and hoped He would give me Peace when I needed it. 
I assumed and hoped He would be my Rock, my Comfort, my Healer.
Seriously, what a horrible way to live! Assuming everything...not knowing anything except doubt and fear, always hoping for being right. With a smile always on my face, no one could have known, and even today, people don't see the splinters, scars and thorns. Grace, Grace, Amazing Grace!!!! I have learned to receive Grace. I have learned not only Who God is personally, but who that makes me as His child. What an amazing feeling inside your soul when you know that you know. When someone asks you why, and you can confidently give an answer to the hope and the reason of your life.
God, gracious and gentle, looooong suffering over me, for sure, gave me the opportunity to get over living life assumptively. Through a season of panic attacks and anxiety attacks, I had to do some deep heart, soul, mind and spirit searching! 
I assumed I could handle life controlling myself, my circumstances and others. Here is where I learned my assumptions were all wrong. 
I assumed the life I was trying so hard to be perfect at would be the best life. Wrong! My best life has been lived ever since. The best life is living an intentional life!
How great to walk through a day nervous, sure. Feeling a little insecure, sure....yet doing life anyway! I certainly haven't arrived, and I still find thorns to pull out of my flesh at times, but how grateful I am to get the chance to have a do-over in this life! Every day I get to be more intentional! Thank You Lord for being steadfastly intentional for me!!
I know that I know God has a plan to prosper me and not harm me. Jeremiah 29
I know that I know He will never leave me. Deuteronomy 31
I know that I know He forgives me, loves me and hears me. John 3
I know that I know He is the Orchestrator of my life, leading me in my endeavors, my relationships, in my parenting, friendships, service, ministry, etc. Isaiah 40
I know that I know nothing escapes His care or His provision. 
Yes, bad things will still happen this side of eternity, but I know that I know I am Redeemed by the Great I Am. I am protected by The King of Kings. I am not a loss cause. I am not alone. I know that I know He hears my cries and my prayers and rejoices in my accomplishments even if I have failed the 10 times before. 
I know that I know God loves every single one of us and has a divinely great plan for a beautiful life, free of....assumptions!
If this is you too, (I am assuming I am not the only one who has been here), don't assume another day. Live fully, embracing each day's plan and grace for every moment. Be intentional in knowing what it is you need to get your head and heart wrapped around, to bring glory to the One Intentional God. How? Let go of being in control and Trust The Only Faithful and Steadfast One. Surrender your fears and assumptions into Hope Himself. You must be in His Word. You must pray and talk to Him, learning to listen for His voice. How else will you know Him? It was through digging into His Word searching for Him, worshiping Him in truth, not feeling. Praying in petition and in waiting for His response. It was remembering Who was in charge of my life, the comings and goings, the direction and the provision of every day. Calling out to The One I knew heard me, saw me and held me. Knowing in my head the Truth while embracing the Heart of The One who held mine together. It was remembering that God was ultimately in control and I needed to trust Him, loving Him above all else, with all my heart and might.
Life is best lived, intentionally living and loving, giving life and blessings, while receiving life and blessings!! Life is good because God is good! Hallelujah!!!!!
Thank You Lord for intentionally creating the world, and all that is within it, seen and unseen. Thank You for the grace You alone cover us with so that we can work out our insecurities, inadequacies, our callings for Your glory this side of Heaven. May we never assume Your love, mercy, forgiveness, peace, comfort. May we never assume Your grace will run out. Help us in our minds to embrace the knowledge of who You are and help our hearts to grasp how deep and wide Your love for us is. God, we are so sorry for taking the weight of burdens in this life upon our own shoulders. May we call to mind Your love and friendship that are never ceasing. Thank You for Your Word to teach us what we need to know. Thank You for your friendship and Fatherhood that proves it. Thank You Holy Spirit for leading us, encouraging us, prompting us to remember and to worship in truth! You are a great, great God...I know that I know this is true!! Bless Your Holy Name, amen.

Psalm 57, "Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by.  

I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me. He will send from heaven and save me; he will put to shame him who tramples on me.
God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness! My soul is in the midst of lions; I lie down amid fiery beasts-- the children of man, whose teeth are spears and arrows, whose tongues are sharp swords. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens!

Let your glory be over all the earth! They set a net for my steps; my soul was bowed down. They dug a pit in my way, but they have fallen into it themselves.
My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast! I will sing and make melody! Awake, my glory! Awake, O harp and lyre! I will awake the dawn! I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples; I will sing praises to you among the nations. For your steadfast love is great to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens! Let your glory be over all the earth!"

Life without Blinders

 

It's the culture we live in. Selfies. Groupies. Look at Mes. We know that people are watching us, and we choose to freely post about ourselves all the while hoping people aren't judging us or making fun of us. Deep in our hearts, we worry what they might think of us. We all want the "Like."
For a shy and fear-rejection girl, it is easier for me to be more vulnerable and write out my heart's thoughts behind a screen than to have to speak them out loud and face to face. This is the main reason I blog. So many people I meet don't believe me when I say I am shy. I am in introverted extrovert! I love people, but no in loud, large groups. I love experiencing new places, but not alone. I prefer to co-captain than captain. I love to talk to people, but not from a stage or with a microphone. When you write, you have the opportunity to edit and delete. Verbally, there are no edits. That terrifies me. I could talk about the Lord for hours upon hours and would host a retreat every month if I could centered on Him, but I can not last more than 5 minutes making small talk. I know, sounds peculiar. I am. I am okay with that. I enjoy the freedom of living in my quirkiness! It just used to always be that way.
God created us masterfully and with intelligence to strive for more...more of Him. Very few people would probably say they prefer to be last, or seen as a failure. We all desire acceptance in our hearts. The problem comes when we live our life fearing the judgement more of man, allowing others to dictate our every life choice, often choosing to walk the path others expect us to rather than walking the path laid out for us by a Holy God, the Creator of the Universe, and us.
The urge to please and be accepted by others is especially strong for those of us who struggle with insecurities and anxiety. We already are a nervous wreck that we are making wrong choices and then we add the pressure to be approved by others, and to top it off, we want to walk by faith, desiring to please God and honor Him in all our choices, and yet the fear of judgment of others is almost too much for our faith walk. So, we pray ourselves up, put on the proverbial blinders and sting in the face of adversity with courage enough to do whatever we have been called to do. Our friends tell us to "close our eyes," block everyone out, picture everyone else in their pjs (or naked, of which I could never do!) Basically, put on the blinders like you would on a horse so you don't get spooked by passer-bys.  
But I got to thinking about it and I am not sure that we are the ones to pretend to put on the blinders. What if we pretend that everyone else has blinders, so they cannot see you!?! Why would I wear the blinders to block them out? How will my footing be sure? How will I fully live in the moment seeing, touching, smelling, placing myself rightly if I have blinders on? Why not imagine everyone else wearing their blinders towards me? Then, I can fully live out my call, my moment, my day, my work, my ministry as I see, feel, believe I should....by faith?! Oh the freedom there is not worrying what others think of you! 
Our lives are lived out before millions of others over the course of our life and yet the only One truly watching us is God! The only One we should be concerned with pleasing is God. He loves us unconditionally, and accepts us as His child, so even if we make a mistake, He still extends His arms of grace and compassion out to us. 
This is my next step in my call to encourage and to simply live my life...eyes open, heart sharing, feet moving, hands writing, ministry reaching, mouth speaking, life blessing, soul searching, spirit worshiping all before The One who has His ever watching eye, ready to catch me, lead me, protect me, shield me, rescue me from the enemy of lies.
God, forgive us for worrying more about the opinions of others over Yours. Give me the confidence to take off my blinders and walk eyes wide open after You! Help us to live boldly in the body, mind and soul and strength You have given us. Help us to see clearly where You are leading, may we follow You faithfully and courageously. God, for me personally, thank You for the gift of being able to blog and share with others the Living Hope and Joy You give. I confess I have hidden often from sharing verbally out of fear of judgement and rejection, so please continue to grow me and increase my faith and my ability to accomplish all things in Your Name without fear. In my weakness, You are strong. I believe You. Be my Light and Lamp every step, every day in every way. Thank You O Lord, My Rock and My God!!! Amen

Here's our family Groupie!!

"For it is you who light my lamp; the LORD my God lightens my darkness. 

For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall. 

This God--his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.

 For who is God, but the LORD? And who is a rock, except our God?--

 the God who equipped me with strength and made my way blameless. 

 He made my feet like the feet of a deer and set me secure on the heights. 

He trains my hands for war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. 

You have given me the shield of your salvation, and your right hand supported me, and your gentleness made me great.

 You gave a wide place for my steps under me, and my feet did not slip.

 I pursued my enemies and overtook them, and did not turn back till they were consumed." Psalm 18:28-37 ESV