Overcoming Social Anxiety as an Introvert

As an introvert, annnndd if you struggle with insecurity, doesn’t mean you have to skip out on socials and events. Let's Chat....grab your coffee...it's Sister Time.

I used to avoid going anywhere alone, especially if it was new to me, even if it was an event at my own church. I didn’t wanna show up in an unknown space. Not knowing who would be there or what to expect! I missed out on a LOT of love and experiences until I learned it was a good idea to buddy up and not miss out on what could be a blessings!!

With time and healing and some awesome Sisters willing to "hold my hand" and be my Event Buddy, I learned to be courageous and confident enough to go out alone. ALONE! It feels embarrassing to say that because soooo many people don't even think twice about going places alone....not sure whether to blame shyness, insecurity, fear...but I blame the enemy. 

I used to sit in the shame and feeling less-than-ness. I saw myself as somehow weak and lacking. I wanted so badly to be vivacious and fun and extroverted but it wasn't me and trying to be was soooo draining and exhausted me. Knowing it would take so much energy to "keep up and get out" I simply limited the amount of times I did it.

Anyone else?!?

Now, all these years later, here I am wanting to host events for people who are scared to be there! Funny how God works!!! Sure, depending on the event, I get butterflies, but it's not fear based. 

I actually enjoy going out to new places, seeing new things, trying new things and feeling alive and joyful walking in the anticipation God is revealing His glory through me, for my benefit or overcoming and victory also knowing I can't help but shout out the praise and use it as an encouragement for someone else!

Some may call it a mid-life crisis when you see us over 50's stepping out and doing new things. I think it's more about mid-life crunch time...we recognize it's time to DO THE THINGS because we just sat through intermission and it's the 2nd Act and it's almost Finale time.

I want YOU to avoid missing out on timely appointments and enjoyments and walk in courage and joy every single day, JUST AS YOU ARE!!!

Here are a few quick tips:

I look for ways to volunteer beforehand if it’s an event of any kind. Otherwise, standing in the back, not shaming myself, looking for ways to help serve others while there.

If you are still needing a Buddy, Get One!! Have a buddy so attention can be deflected as needed. Be sure to let your friend know your level of anxiety or nervousness to step in if they see you struggle.

No sugars or caffeine’s that day (or few days before) to ignite adrenals, instead camomile tea and vitamins.

Lavender oil is always good to have on you as well as inhaling the hour before, and during! I use diffuser bracelets too. (Link to the one I have used since 2008)

Guard your energy before and during with Prayer. Deep breathes, enjoy conversations that uplift and bring you joy. Move away from the drama if you walk up on it or if you begin feeling depleated. Sometimes a little bathroom break or stepping outside for a minute helps with that fresh breath.

Worship the Lord with every breath and count your blessings! Continually praise and say Thank you Lord for...

Look for ways to distract your mind and serve in some way. Something as simple as holding a door or paying compliments is so valuable.

Don’t miss out on life. Open up and release the fear of the unknown, fear of rejection. Trust and Faith. He is there with you mountain top or valley low, in your city or out in the wilderness. His heart is near!!

Sister, remember this, it's not always about YOU! Perhaps the Lord has invited YOU into this space to bless. Don't miss out on those Divine Appointments and Enjoyments! Walk with eager anticipation.

Feel free to share any social tips you have too!! There are many ways to cope and prepare, these are my basics!!! Love to hear yours!

It's Time!! Let's Go in Love and Faith!!! He is able to do exceedingly more than you can imagine!

Hugs, High 5's and Blessings! 

Yo Big Sister Shell

Comparison That Strengthens

👉🏻Comparison that leads to condemnation is unhealthy.
👉🏻Comparison that leads to alignment is healthy.

As I walk this path into a new place, I find myself comparing this to that, me to them. I felt spotlighted in certain thoughts and behaviors. This spotlight made me see my dullness, wishing I had what they had. It’s been a real struggle between flesh and spirit. Feeling the spotlight can either be the act of the Holy Spirit or the act of evil. For one will uplift and the other will tear down.
For me this comparison hasn’t been in a physical sense, but mental and spiritual.
Do you ever catch yourself saying, “I used to be like that...I used to see like that...I used to have that (blank) in my soul...”
I’d like to think comparison in this sense is a sharpening, an alignment of where we want to or need to be. It is the salt of the earth… It is the city on a hill shining in… It is the spark of a consuming fire… It is the iron sharpening iron chisel.

👉🏻I see her strength, I want that again.
👉🏻I see her changed health, I want that again.
👉🏻I see her acting in blind faith, I want to believe deep again.
👉🏻Her fire ignites others to fire, I remember being consumed.
👉🏻She believes in her value, I want to feel my value.
👉🏻She believes in the ability of God to use her to change peoples lives, I want that belief back for me.

In opposition to truth, the the enemy taunts us in comparison, You aren't, You can't, You shouldn't.

God does not create us to be lukewarm, dull, anxious, insecure, weak. He calls us to be more than conquerors in Christ Jesus. He created us to encourage and be encouraged. As iron sharpens iron, we do that in each other’s lives if we will allow ourselves to be His vessels in not only other's lives, but within our own.

We fall into 3 camps I think: We are too sharp for that, we are too full for that or I’m not sure so I won’t be involved.
You can run from yourself but you cannot run from God!

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.”

‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11, 13‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Lord Jesus, You did not pour out Your precious blood over us for show. It is to be life for us in every way. Your death is our life. Your last breath is the beginning of ours.
Forgive us when we doubt You and Your ability to use us. Forgive us when we wander in avoidance. Revive us. Renew our minds in You and cast off all that hinders. By the Name of Zjesus our Savior, Healer, Father and King, I say amen.🙌🏻

Today, I am grateful and thankful for my Refreshing, Refining and Redeeming Savior! Today, I chose to Believe He has great plans for me and He has placed AMAZING people in my little world to inspire, mentor and love me where I am. I am Blessed! 

6 month review

Half way...we are half way through our year of adventure. WOW!!! I can hear the pages of the calendar flip rapidly with the passing of each day. It's almost as if the deep gonging of Father Time marks every passing hour now. 6 months flew past! So, I have to ask myself, and ultimately The Lord, Have I accomplished so far what You purposed me to? and What is left that I need to do?
We know beyond a shadow of a doubt The Lord called us here allowing us to live out a desire deep in our hearts to experience an adventure as a family outside of our hometown of Houston, as well as to live on intentional mission for Him. We just never had the guts to do it before. We didn't make the time to commit it to serious prayer over the years either. No wonder we didn't do this earlier. Honestly, I am not sure we would have had the faith to go if He would have told us to go. A crowded schedule, busy minds and divided hearts, kept us from seeking and asking what His plan and His way was for us. We lived like so many do, one day at a time, status quo, keeping our head above water, the way we wanted to, assuming we were on a continuous path in the same direction and yet fearful (and honestly, lazy) to live how we really wanted to. 
Of course, God's timing is always perfect. Maybe He reigned in our desires till it was time for us to be ready. As we look back over the last few years, we can see God's hand preparing us and equipping us to step out on faith and say Yes to a move that would cause us to rely heavily on trusting Him with every detail. Leaving wasn't easy and neither will it be leaving here.
While the move has been a great adventure, we have also been on mission. God made it very clear that this was a purposeful move. We needed an uprooting to a place we could experience pruning and new growth, reconnecting to the Lord individually and as a family, and to each other. A sabbatical of sorts. Our busy, disconnected life was tearing our family's core to pieces. Being here on mission has re-focused us, re-centered us and God has drawn us back to a whole. We are stronger now. 
No, it hasn't been perfect. We have not lived every day as perfectly as we dreamed we would. After 6 months, my journals for the kids still sit in the box, I haven't opened my spanish workbook once, I am not a master chef, my house is not Pinterest picture worthy, my kids don't choose family devotional time over tv or game time, my marriage is not without selfishness or disagreements and my picture taking skills remain "pretty good"....but....God has been faithful to bless, give, take, correct, allow, teach, heal, restore, prune, bind together His children who desperately are seeking, asking and knocking on His door. I know we have missed opportunities but I have also learned over the years that God's ways are not mine and neither are my thoughts like His. I rest and rely on the grace of my God knowing He sees our heart's desire to live a life on mission for His purpose alone as we love Him and love one another.
"Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another,agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you." 2 Corinthians 13:11

I pray the remainder of our days here are full of His purpose as we seek to follow after Him, accomplishing what it is HE has for us individually and as a family, and to those He has placed us in community with. 

For those of you personally following our journey, here are our personal updates:
Josh: has been given an opportunity to teach his favorite group of lessons called the Basic Bible Truths on Wednesday nights. He is excited to teach these 6 week lessons again. He continues to work hard on his sales from the home office. He is intentional in taking time to engage with each of the 4 kids. If there is something interesting, educational or fun to do in our local community he makes plans for us to do it. I am glad he does otherwise we would spend all our days floating on the water or sitting at home, but what's so wrong with that!?! LOL. He has remained committed to leading our family spiritually and physically. He has enjoyed running with the older boys, although the 2 younger ones have done their best to keep up! He loves me well and thinks more of me than I think of me.

Big Boy: My Senior has done well with his Cross Country, placing 24th in State for 2A. He is now training for track and is playing on the Varsity baseball team. He is trying to figure out exactly where he wants to attend college and we are waiting to see if any Florida scholarships appear. He has become an amazing spear fisherman bringing home dinner every week. He absolutely loves being on the water. As often as he can, he takes the boat out.

Big Boy #2: has played football and tennis and made lots of friends. I think he knows everyone now. He had hoped for a golf team but they didn't have one this year. He has maintained a high GPA with his AP classes. He has also just earned his Learner's Permit!

Princess: she loves her teachers and school, especially GLEE Club. Singing,acting and dancing are her passions. She is such a prayer warrior and keeps our family focused every morning before school reminding us to do our devos and initiating the prayer time in the car on the way to school for all the kiddos. She loves church even though she misses our Houston Church and her friends there often. She loves to read, run, play, dance, sing, worship, write songs, and has even blogged a few of her own posts.

Little Guy: has adapted well as the youngest. This week he begins coach pitch baseball. He is so excited! Academically he is excelling and has a wonderful teacher and has made friends easily here. He loves being here but he also misses the Houston house's trampoline and pool, and his friends. Can't blame him!

As for me: it is God's overwhelming grace and beauty that fills my heart. God has been beyond generous in His protections and provisions. He has shown Himself in new ways and that is always exciting. He led us to a wonderful church family that has embraced us and welcomed us from day one. The kids love their children and youth ministry and Josh and I have enjoyed the men and women's Bible studies and meeting new people. I miss my Houston family and friends but through God's abundant grace, I have been blessed with meeting wonderful people here and developing what will sure to be forever friendships. 

I continue to ask God to help me be the person, wife, mother and friend He has called me to be, as I strive to honor Him in how I love and serve my family, others and most importantly...Him! He shares His "hearts" for me even here! I love love love the intentional time with the family. My favorite things are sunset dinners at our local beach and time on the boat snorkeling. 

My playtime with the camera has been so fun! Of course, it's always been fun! I continue my quest to learn better health for myself and my family, learning new recipes (how to cook fish!! and make salsa which we miss), exercising, drinking more water, playing more outdoors (kayaking, swimming, tennis, walking, biking). 

Spiritually: hard to imagine learning more but the more I study the more I realize I don't know...however the more I get to know Him, the more I really know Him! I pray the same prayer for my kids today as I did when God placed them in my heart- for God to reveal Himself to them daily, for them to fall deeply in love with Him, to fear Him more than man, to desire to live a God honoring and purposed life according to His plan. And last but not least, I know God has called me to writing for His glory, so I am taking one step at a time following His lead, trusting Him by faith, certainly I can do nothing on my own. Yes, I would love to publish a devotional or two that everyone thinks I should publish, so I wait for God to show me exactly how and when. There are solo many choices and ways to do it and I am overwhelmed and honestly not all that confident in my writing skills or my message. Enough about me.

I am so thankful and honored that you have stopped by my blog and spent a few minutes of your valuable time with me here. This blog has given me the opportunity to share my life journey with many of you whom live across the miles.
Blogging was one of the first tools God gave me to learn and practice being bold in my walk and talk of faith while discovering more of who I am along the way. I am still shy at the core of my heart, but He has helped me strengthen my voice for Him! I definitely make a little more joyful noise than years past! How I pray He would be pleased.
That's it for my time of review. It's been 6 months of sooooo much learning, growing, experiencing...I could fill in so much more but this will be all for now! Thank you to those who continue to pray for us!! His Peace and Purpose have been amazing! Hugs and Blessings, Michele

Here are some highlight pictures:

SHE knows. Do YOU?!?!

Today was salon day for this girl!!! Since I was 17 years old, I have cut and colored my own hair. On rare occasions I did go to a Salon once a year or every other YEAR, more of a special treat for me to change up the style in a way I didn't know what to try. A dear friend of mine owns a salon and begged me to come there, so sometimes I do. The budget doesn't allow me to go often, but I have learned to budget it every few months just to be taken care of for a time. As a Mom of 4 kids and Wife and Friend and a Sunday School teacher's wife, I spend most every day of every week of every month, taking care of someone's care or concern. I have learned to delight in a little care for me a few times a year!! (I used to feel so guilty.) 
So, this morning I sat down for the royal treatment of low-lights and a few snips at the ends. She asked me the typical questions of style and color preferences I replied back with ,"Whatever-just no rainbow colors in my hair and no buzzing to cut my hair." I am open to anything not-crazy!! My personality can't pull off a Spunky or Attention-Getting hairstyle. 
NOT SO with the lady who was sat in the chair next to me! She knew exactly what she wanted and she placed her order! The stylist stood there shaking her head, probably thankful to have a little (a lot actually) direction. I thought, "Wow, she knows that she knows what she wants and why she wants it." "I'm a 6 figure salary professional and this is what I need to represent to my clients and the bosses...." and on and on she continued with her "order." What confidence she had to boldly proclaim her need. She made it very clear what she wanted and what she didn't want. Unable to see her (or avoid hearing her), I could picture her in my head and once I saw her after- yep, there was the lady with the order for "long layers, choppy and highlighted dark hair and not brassy."
Her boldness seemed border line arrogant and bossy and yet, she had an assurance of what she wanted. I found myself feeling a little small and weak-willed. It's not something others can see within you, but you who struggle with anxiety or inadequacy know that heart sinking feeling. I can quickly be brought back to inferior thoughts about myself and my abilities although, praise God, He quickly captures those thoughts and shows me His!!
Now, I recognize there are different "personalities" and that I don't have an aggressive one but there is truth that I need more confident-courage and this is an area of my life I am growing in. I have a friend who refers to me as, "Her friend on Valium"). And another friend partners with me in ministry and friendship and I am most certainly The Good Cop and she is The Bad Cop. It's true...not much makes me angry quickly. I am very patient most often and tend to extend extra mercy...however, we all have hot buttons. I am challenged in my passiveness to be assertive and have a confident approach for those things I know I want or need, or don't want or need...especially spiritual things.
Ecclesiastes teaches us there is a season for everything and we know that God created us to fit in harmony with one another, and how much more efficient a working Body when all things work together, with confident assurance?! There's not room for passiveness when there are specific needs waiting to be met.
God has been good to me and I think funny at times, to place soooo many Courageously Confident people in my life, one being my husband of over 20 years! He is certainly the "Ask for forgiveness rather than ask for permission" type, while I hardly ever move without permission!!! I have a few friends whom I will not mention any names who are the same in my life. They have gumption, courage, and assertiveness to do what they know they need or want to do! These "God's Go Getters" have pushed me outside of my well established comfort-zone frequently! That's one of the beautiful things about Proverbs 27:17, "As iron sharpens iron," that there will be refining sparks when our jagged edges encounters theirs, and we are more finely sharpened in our heart and spirit because we have engaged and encountered one another, which is ultimately heart to heart and spirit to spirit.
So, as I sat there in my pampering chair, God used my captured attention to speak into my heart. Michele, come to Me with that kind of confidence to Me in who I Am. Rest assured that I am working in your life and in those whom you bring to Me. You can trust me, I assure you. Stand with confidence that I am with you and have gone before you already, you need not be afraid. Ask with boldness what you need. You have permission to ask for what you want, be it for yourself or another. I am The God who satisfies, creates, provides and helps. I am above all things and will be your strength, healing and victory. 
God doesn't call us to bark out orders to Him, arrogantly assuming our "order will be right out" but rather humbly approach His throne of grace and abundance with confidence: "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:16 and James 1:6 says, "But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind."  

"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom." Proverbs 11:2 

 

"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of His glory He may grant you to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith--that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:14-21 

 

May it be so for all of us who call on The Lord our God as Savior, Father and Friend. Amen.    

  

Where are you? Shore, Boat or Water?

"Immediately He made the disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side, while He dismissed the crowds. And after He had dismissed the crowds, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. When evening came, He was there alone, but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them. And in the fourth watch of the night He came to them, walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, "It is a ghost!" and they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid." And Peter answered Him, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." He said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me! Jesus immediately reached out His hand and took hold of him, saying to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped Him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."  Matthew 14:22-33

It's a very familiar Bible testimony. Many sermons have been preached from this passage. While there are numerous applications and lessons to be learned, God brought this back to mind as I visited with a friend who was struggling with  anxiety: her strength and courage, and the lack of it. Many of us struggle with anxiety and it can be paralyzing. Fear can nearly suffocate us. This was me for many years, until God's healing power suffocated my fear. It drowned it out and it was no more! AMEN!!!
As I was listening to my friend, I was trying to understand where she was in her walk of faith. Where was she in her fear? How do I encourage her to the next step? God brought this passage to my mind and He showed me the steps between courage, trust and fear.
Here are the different places you can be:
1. Those standing on the shore looking at the boat, wanting to get on it. Hope
2. Those on the boat. Faith
3. Those who step out of the boat. Trust
4. Those who continue to walk after the fall. Boldness.
Disclaimer: I am not a therapist or trained professional!!! I can only share from my personal experience and those shared with me. Just sayin'
Now we can continue (lol)...as I stand on this side of healing from the bondage of fear and anxiety, I can see the different places I have been. I have to be careful to not take steps backwards. I can clearly see that I am on the shore or maybe even in the boat in certain things while there are things in my life that are all about persevering boldness. Many people stand there on the shore wishing and hoping and wanting to get on the boat yet they are too afraid. Fear keeps their feet dry. What a victory when you step out in faith and finally get in the boat! And probably the hardest part is trusting the call to get out of the boat and walk! It takes guts, a Holy Courageous Confidence, to walk, to step out there and trust that Jesus really is there. Do you believe it? Do you trust Him? Then, some of us have trusted and made that declaration to walk out to Him! We have an eternal hope that is placed in Saving Grace, we have faith assured through walking with Him and we trust the Promises of a faithful God and we are bold enough to keep on walking even after we trip and fall, We hold onto His helping hands and boldly take another step, and another, and another.

Where are you? What is your next move? If you know a friend who feels "stuck," Can you see where they are and challenge them to hope, believe, trust or grow in Holy Courageous Confidence? We are each somewhere! May we join together as we encourage each other and intercede for one another on our walk towards Jesus!!! There is nothing better than getting your feet wet!!!! Take the time to go back to the shore and help others get on the boat and into the Water!!!

 

 

Thank You Lord Jesus for being faithful when I am weak. Thank You for Your saving Grace that helps me get in the boat and walk on water with You! You are an amazing God! All glory, honor and praise belong to You! Thank You Father God for those You have placed in my life as Captains of the boats, Lifeguards on the shores, who help me, guide me, teach me, instruct me, mentor me and show me how I can do all things through You! Bless them for their servants hearts and may their passions be flamed in You and caught by many more to be set as a city on a hill, shining a beacon light for You!! Amen.