Crowbar of Grace : Feeling Lonely When You are Surrounded by People in Life

It was a perfect evening for a Jeep-Hair-Don't-Care Jeep drive. The winds were cooler, the sunset emulated a fire in the sky providing a Hollywood-worthy backdrop for a drive. I took the soft top and doors off and headed out. There's nothing like it! To feel the wind in your hair, and not care how messy it gets, to feel a sense of extra freedom and fun.

This evening though I felt a special sense of awareness, being pulled in my spirit to really being in the moment. I admit it's been a busy few months of intense focus and work. I have hardly slowed down accomplishing more of the To Do List than Ought to Do List. 

Driving through town, the sky was glowing, lights illuminated driveways and businesses, my hair was swishing around in the wind. No, no music playing. Our old jeep doesn't have working a/c, heat or radio. It truly is a basic ride without expectations. I took in a deep breath reaching my arm out the side of the jeep in a moment of worship of thanksgiving, feeling especially free and kept by my Savior. I felt His nearness. I knew He was riding with me. My soul was at joyful rest in my hot mess. 

And then I smelt it. A full aroma of yummy deliciousness flooded my air. Mmmm...I had come into the local restaurant area and the aroma filled my senses. I hadn't been hungry but now I found myself starving. My spirit spoke in that moment, "Girl, how wonderful to taste and see the Lord is good." In that moment, every sense was heightened, the sense of sight, smell, feeling. Yes. Oh the beautiful freedom of tasting and seeing, and knowing The Lord our God is so good. He is a delight, even better than chocolate and my favorite lattes. My God quenches every thirst and feeds my soul like nothing else can. The bestest of friends, the yummiest of foods, the greatest of incomes cannot compare to the richness of our Lord's glory and presence alone. 

It was a perfect evening for a no doors on Jeep ride, smelling local flavors and the salty air. Pulling over to a sunset gazing spot, I sat still in reflection, realizing how often I have quenched the Holy Spirit in my life with "closed doors." 

If I had been in my Mom car, the Burb, windows and doors closed up, I wouldn't have experienced all that open air goodness. You know how God takes these everyday moments and peels back a layer of our heart to speak some truth into it? This was one of those moments.

Insecurity, inadequacy, fear of failure and judgement, lack of self confidence keeps our doors under lock and key. We can live life surrounded by people yet still feel lonely. 

Each betrayal, each failure, each regret and disappointment was another click of the Lock Doors button. It's always been easier to polish the outside of the car and keep it locked up without fear of the unknowns letting others in. Isolation becomes your safety zone, yet it’s a danger zone. 

Friend, the enemy is always at work to isolate us. When we are hidden and disconnected, our fire simmers and we become lukewarm and less salty.

But God, He didn’t create us for isolation. He came to set the captives free, not to shut us in behind closed doors. Jesus came to seek and save us from the shackles of death and desolation. He opens closed doors with the crowbar of grace, mercy and love. 

Ultimately, His Love unlocks our doors and Grace is the gatekeeper. The Lord who opens the floodgates of glory divine, revealing to us how He is doing a new thing and He can't wait to show us. If we would just trust Him to open our doors.

God places crowbars of grace in our lives to help us get out from behind those doors. He not only sent the Holy Spirit as our Helper, but He places in our lives, friends with keys, faith and hope that can open locked doors that lead us towards Him. 

Always keeping it real, I am still a guarded girl, trust and healing takes time and comes with learning healthy boundaries. I choose who, when and where because I ask God to lead the way and open those doors for me. You can too! It’s time to pray for God’s help to open those doors and enjoy the beauty of Salty Air with your Sisters & Savior!

"We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;" 

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 17-18  

 "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,  for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind." James 1:2-6

With hopes of empowering others in these rooms, I do my best to be transparent and honest, but I admit, I am guarded, however, I know it is He Who is a shield about me. My hope, my fears all rest in His care. Our flesh and our enemy will never stop showing us open doors for us to hide behind, in hopes that one day we won't be paying attention and walk in and sit for a while. Even on those days you do, there's always a crowbar of grace and it will be up to you to know where it is and how to use it.

Friend, do you need a crowbar of Grace today to get out from behind those doors? Let Him open them, He is trustworthy. You don't have to fear the other side of that door. I know it looks scary but you can trust Him. The winds and waves know His name. He sculpted out every path you will walk on and will walk with you. Step out from behind those suffocating doors. You are not safe there. Let go of that self control and open your soul's arms wide and honestly proclaim it is well with your soul even when it hurts, His breath sustains yours. He will take you for the ride of a lifetime. He is trustworthy and will be the most powerfully consuming delight you will ever know.

Enjoy the Messy-Hair-Don't-Care of Christ's reckless love. Surrender to the moments He gives you and embrace the good and perfect gifts He has for you in every season. Strength is in His Name. Freedom is found knowing He is by your side and His heart is for you, not against you. How He must delight in the sweet aroma of our return of worship as our souls pour out praise and see the proof of a life free from isolation.  

 
Open the door, take the ride, stretch your arms wide and show the enemy where your faith is, then Taste and See that the Lord our God is good! 

"Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!" Psalm 34:8

Behind Closed Doors

What's going on behind closed doors? Well, the only people who really know are the people actually behind them. Behind closed doors, fun things can happen but so can ugly things. From the Price is Right, Door #3 to the doors of neglect, lots can happen behind closed doors. Blessings and curses. Smiles can hide pain just as a tear can represent joy.
A friend recently posted about asking for peace and while I turned the focus on Christ, His peace and all things happen for a reason, trust Him, everything has a purpose be it correction, refining, teaching or testing, someone else responded to the posts with "life is full of crap" sentiments. Hope, Peace, Strength, Patience, Grace. This is the difference between a Believer and a Non-Believer (aside from the Cross and Salvation of course.) As a Believer in Christ Jesus, I have Hope through my Faith that He is in control. He will provide and protect me. A non-believer hopes in self....self wishing, self doing, self religion. 
This post isn't about defining the differences between Believers and Non-Believers. I say these things to make the point that ALL HAVE SINNED and there is nothing on this earth untouched by it's destruction. Bad stuff happens to EVERYONE! Behind every closed door there is joy and pain. Some doors shield just how extreme it may be.
Just the fact that we are human beings living in community on this earth, should be enough to call us all to be kind, to protect, to help the weak, be good, do good. As Believers however, we are called to "love one another," "help those in need," "encourage," "intercede," "rebuke." All the things mentioned in the previous post last week. We are charged with caring what goes on behind closed doors.
So, what is my point?!? Because we cannot see through "doors," it is imperative that we listen for the discerning and tender voice of the Holy Spirit to call us over to knock on certain doors. No, not to be a busy-body, God wouldn't call you to knock a door to do something He wouldn't do. If you are a Christian, you are Christ-like, then you would go in the same heart and motive as Christ. To love.
Maybe there is a Joy to be shared! Maybe there is pain to care for. Be sensitive to the Holy Spirit to lead you as His hands and feet. Don't hesitate for when we live according to His direction, we know there is a reason for everything and we cannot possibly know why or what. Our part is follow. It is God's part to know. We can't possibly have all the answers but we can be available, willing to be a vessel for God's reach. 
There are soooo many people hurting behind closed doors. May God find us faithful when He calls, knowing that He is in control, He will provide, He will lead, trusting that "for those who love God, all things work together for good." Romans 8:28 alongside the Saving Cross. May we rely not on our wisdom but on His wisdom to share in the sorrow and be the hands and feet of The One Who Loves unconditionally, Who Heals the brokenhearted, gives Joy to the grieved, Strengthens the weak. 
If you are the one sitting behind closed doors that is hurting, be encouraged knowing The Father above you sees you. You are not sitting there alone. He is your help in times of need. There is no one who loves you more that the Lord God. Do not conceal your pain. What is hidden in darkness leads to destruction. Reach out and open your door...put aside all that hinders- shame, pride, sin, guilt, fear, worry. Freedom is just on the other side of that door.
Whichever side of the door you find yourself, put your trust in the One Who is trustworthy. Go where He leads. Be encouraged....read Psalm 119 and remember this:

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. 3 For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush andSeba in exchange for you. 4 Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life. 5 Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your offspring from the east, and from the west I will gather you." Isaiah 43:2-5