Blessings and Burdens

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." 
2 Corinthinas 4:16-18

Welcome back. I sit here almost comically laughing at the fact I am still dealing with my pitiful body (and attitude, if I must be honest.) Never would I have guessed a puddle of water could reek such havoc in my life. My neck and knees continue to bother me four months in. When my knee went out, the rest of my body carried the burden. What a blessing that it could or I would not have been able to walk and gotten things done. Just as I mentioned in the previous blog, how humbling and convicting to remember that my choices, other peoples choices, impact those around you.

Even though this has been the most physically challenging season for me, don't ya know God has plans in it for my good! I am reminded of 2 things: 1.) We need each other and cannot live this life self-reliant; 2.) What we do impacts those around us, for good or bad. We are all connected in the Body and when one part hurts, we all feel the impact.

Not able to bear weight on the injured knee, my right knee took on the extra weight with every impact. Getting out of a chair (or off the toilet as a matter of fact) was one of the hardest things (and remains a challenge), trying to stand up basically one legged. Getting off the floor? Forget it! Friends and family around me have helped me in practical ways more in the past several months that the last years combined. I am a Do-er by nature so this has been a hard pill to swallow. 

Sadly, after almost 4 weeks of going the extra miles, that burden carrying knee gave out. It has carried the extra weight as long as it could. It was injured nearly to the point of my original "soccer knee." I sit here with a neck burdened, hips aching and now two knees full of fluid...and a heart frustrated, exhausted and a soul searching for the purpose in all this mess. My poor husband and kids, while it has been a good opportunity for me to take a step back and let them Do a little more, they miss the part of me that engages with them as we Do together. How much longer Lord?! We ALL want to know.
While there are many layers to this season of rest, pressing onward, letting go, trusting, waiting, sharing, believing and pure exhaustion, they can be summed up within these two lessons:
1. ) We need each other and are not meant to be self-reliant. Our choices in life affect those around us, for the better or the worst. The Lord tells us there will be trials and seasons of hardship and we expect those. Even in the toughest of times, God has a plan and purpose and He calls us to share the burdens with each other as we cast them also on Him. For those of us who are Servers in the Kingdom, these are really tough seasons as we face limitations to what we can do. God knows this and as someone who has been a Server for many years, I have come to recognize seasons in my life God reverses the flow of out pouring and I become the receiver, inevitably giving others an opportunity to serve me, or on my behalf. It is not easy or comfortable. Every time I am in this place, I learn better how to appreciate it as I count down to the day it's over with. Here in the receiving times, I am refreshed and humbled. I appreciate the hearts of those stepping up to help carry the temporary burden. 

"So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, 

complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." 

Philippians 2:1-4

2.) What we do impacts those around us, for good or bad. We are all connected in the Body and when one sheds tears either of joy or sorrow, we share the tears. The Scriptures of full of instructions to guard the tongue, love one another, share burdens, give, pray, believe, confess, repent, feed, hope, sacrifice, bless, encourage and rest. 
I never thought my hurt knees would impact my family as it has. My mind and body are physically drained which drains the brain, interrupts routines and hinders opportunities. Staying at an exhausted level makes for little or labored process from all the normal things in life. I have to have help getting most things done. Nothing happens quickly anymore. Some things don't even happen. I miss the little things like cuddling with my little ones in my comfy chair on the patio as they wiggle around laughing or sharing about their day. I miss being able to chase them around the house to tickle them down when they need a good soul boost! I miss a lot of things while other things just have to be done differently.
Days my pain levels are increased, my focus, energy, joy, mercy, grace and compassion decrease. Does anyone else get this way? My pain becomes everyone's pain even though I do my best to "suck it up buttercup." We live together, so we impact one another whether it's intentional or not. As an Encourager, it makes me sad to not be able to serve like I love to serve. On the good days the joy flows, energy soars and laundry gets done! Praise God for those days!!
Thankfully God has granted my family grace to carry the extra burden and as time goes by, healing washes over my body as waves lap the shoreline. I am honored and blessed they help me like they do, not to say there haven't been eye-rolling and a few huffs at times. We just don't realize the impact our stuff has on those around us. This is true with all our choices, sinful or every day stuff, our blessings and our burdens. We impact and influence our environment and those in it.
In Burdens:
Something so simple as the one who took the last square of toilet paper and didn't replace it, or left the milk out all day, or forgot to turn off the hose or bring in the wet towel from the car, ask them. It mattered.
For the one addicted to drugs or alcohol and doesn't think their spouse is impacted, ask them. It does. 
For the husband who says his pornography doesn't impact his wife or family, ask them. It does.
For the one who is lazy and assumes others will pick up the slack and not think twice about it, ask them. It does.
For the one who demands their way as the way it has to be, ask them. It does.
For the one who abuses their authority, ask them. It does.
For the one who yells and curses, ask them. It does.
For the one burdened with guilt, shame, fear, insecurity, ask them. It does.
For the one caring for a physically or mentally challenged family member, ask them. It does.
For the one suffering physical attacks on their body, ask them. It does.
For the one persecuted for their faith, ask them. It does.
The burden we bear and the burden we cause, affect those around us even when we don't think it does. 
In Blessings:
For the one who bless their spouse with loving care, consideration and help, ask them. It does.
For the kids who's parent help them, pray for them, ask them. It does.
For the friend receiving our prayers, encouragement and support, ask them. It does.
For the ones we honor and salute their sacrifice, ask them. It does.
For the hurting friend who we simply hug or share a cup of coffee, ask them. It matters.
For the one hungry and we feed them, ask them. It does.
For the hopeless one to realize they have Hope in a Savior, ask them. It does.
For the ones in authority to honor the law and Lord, ask them. It does.
For the one who realized they once were lost, but now have been found, ask them. It does.
For the one afflicted in the flesh, but consoled by The Healer, ask them. It does.
For the ones we shared our testimony with, and have restored faith, ask them. It mattered.
The blessings we give and the ones we receive, carry an eternal weight of glory we cannot imagine this side of Heaven.
Our lives are an intricate balance of burdens carried and burdens lifted as we strive to both give and receive in this world, working together for a common good in humility, honor, submitting ourselves to the cause of Christ over our agenda and purpose. There is a season for everything and our response to those seasons are crucial to the Kingdom of Grace. 
Your life has an eternal weight, today. Today, we are healing, growing, breaking down while building up. Wherever God has you, may Love be our motive, help, healing, focus, redemption, strength, hope and cause.
For the one caught up in sin, yes, it is hurting you and yes, it is hurting those around you. Ask them. It does. But praise God Almighty, His blood is thick and fresh enough to cover all your sins and cast them far off, to mend your broken places and restore you to the plans and purpose He has created you for.
For you bearing the burden of another, bless your heart for the love you are showing in Jesus' Name. May He continue to grant you compassion and empathy for them. He is faithful to sustain you in your care for them. Be careful though, you do not bear more than you ought and get in the way of what God may be doing in their life. Us Encouragers and Peace Makers have a tendency to enable. You will end up hurting yourself in the process and healing will take longer for the both of you, extending the burden further to others.
For the one with the thorn in your flesh, remember for everything there is a season and God's grace will be enough to sustain you during this down time. Be willing to allow others to minister to you or on your behalf as hard as that might be. Check your pride and stubbornness at the back gate and come rest. Honestly, if you're thinking the world won't be able to function without your help, well, God was big enough to build it, He can manage it in your absence.  

"So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 

I'm fine, for real!

"This used to be me: Expert Wall Builder. I knew how to build a wall around my heart to scale. The sign hung read, "I'm fine, thanks for stoping by." Being "fine" wasn't freedom. Walls actually kept the hurt inside, without escape and caused damage on the inside. I never wanted to be a burden or cause attention to myself in a negative way for my heart was all about encouraging others and keeping the peace. And for those of you who may understand this: I felt that as a Proverbs 31 woman...a woman of great faith...a woman who loves the Lord with all her heart and trusted Him completely...that I would be "perfectly happy, encouraging, peaceful, full of wisdom and self-controlled." And yet, I wasn't. I never worried what others would think of me, okay, maybe a little but my greatest fear was disappointing God, failing to represent His amazing grace, smiling joy, peace that made me glide through every moment. I just wasn't always fine." ~Except from my journaling, 2009.

"Good Morning, how are you?" (Smiling)

"Oh, I am fine. How are you?" (Showing our pearly whites)

"I'm fine. God is good." (Still smiling)

Sound familiar? I dare to say it's the most common "conversation" we have with each other...not only at work, the mall, at lunch, and at school but especially in the church hallways. I know because I have been a part of them for many years. There is something to be justified about brief encounters where time is of then essence and it is neither the right person or the right place to "unload" our life's troubles. In today's culture, asking a person How are you is simply a form of greeting, words of acknowledgement, a showing of general effort.

But, as the Asker, are we genuinely hoping for a genuine answer? Do we really want to know how they are doing? Are we willing to be shocked with an honest response that takes up more than our 15 seconds of allotted time? I admit that I have asked expecting the normal flow of response to this well rehearsed pleasantry only to gasp when the person actually shares something real back. Wait, what?! Did they say something, for real?! Quick! Pay attention!! We almost don't know what to say back! 

Our fast-paced world has created in us the skills to shoot out words without immediate response. Technology feeds these quick, impersonal exchanges using our emails and texting, snap chats and tweets that allow us to put something out there and enable us to walk away from it for as long as we need. Then we can ignore it, respond to it, delete it, forward it, or share it. I am afraid we are learning to be filters and regurgitates vs feelers and responders. It is there in face to face conversations where real life happens and is lived out fully. Real words must engage between real hearts.

A photo we post of a scripture isn't the same as reading it, for real. Sending a picture of 2 friends having coffee with the hashtag #loveourfriendship isn't the same as sitting down face to face and enjoying a hot cup of coffee together, for real. Texting praying hands emojis do not replace actually praying,  for real.
Now obviously, long distance relationships do not fall into this category. For some of us, the only way we are able to connect is through our devices and praise the Lord for them so that we can keep in touch for real. We are referring to conversations and encounters we face in our day to day life.

At some point in our days, we are on one of the 2 sides of this exchange. There are times I just don't want to say anything about my brokenness, or I realize this is not the time of place to share, or maybe this is not the person to share it with. We must be discerning whichever end we find ourselves, being careful and considerate not to push the other beyond what God had intended for that moment.

This topic came up recently with a friend who serves on a Hospitality Team. This was our take aways:

If you the one Asking:
1.) When you ask How are you? Be sure to ask genuinely, make eye contact so they can see it in your heart's eyes, and give them the opportunity to share. God may have crossed your paths for such a time as this. Have a plan to step aside with them should they need more than a minute to share, or ask for prayer, or need your help. They may be caught off guard that you are anticipating an honest response. Sad but true.
2.) If you are welcoming people into your home or church, classroom, or passing someone in the halls, store, playground, wherever, and you simply want to acknowledge them, make them feel welcomed, simply say Hello! Share any pleasantry you'd like but don't ask if you don't have time to listen. You will likely cause hurt feelings if you ask and really didn't have time to listen because you were on your way to an appointment and you have to excuse yourself or rush out. Without meaning to, you leave them feeling brushed aside and unworthy of someones' time.
3.) If someone actually trusts you enough to share an answer but you cannot engage long enough to give them the proper time they need, be gentle, sincere and kind in letting them know that you would like to get back together so you may devote your full attention to them and set up a time you are both able to meet, even if it means 5 minutes later while you get someone to cover you, or if it has to be later that day, or that week. Do not rush them off.
4.) Maybe you sense something is wrong and yet the person avoids eye contact and has a titanium wall up you cannot seem to penetrate and they keep walking. Pray! Heed the voice of the Holy Spirit as to what else you might need to do besides praying for them.
One Sunday, a woman left the worship center in tears, and feeling like God was pushing me out of my comfort zone to approach her and offer up my help or prayers without her prompting, I followed her into the ladies room and asked if she was okay and she said yes, all the while tears flowed behind her closed door. I waited...and waited. I stood silently praying for her. She never came out. I reached out one more time to ask if she needed anything and she said no. I told her I would be praying for her and I went back to my seat, feeling bad that I wasn't able to "help" (enter Satan into the moment) and yet God affirming Well done faithful friend. I did all I could and all I was supposed to. Prayer is our best intercession and response every single time!

For the one being Asked:
1.) Acknowledge the person greeting you with a smile and genuine pleasantry. Be discerning of whether or not this person is simply greeting or welcoming you or if they are sincerely asking and waiting for an honest reply. We know that just because they ask, doesn't mean they have time for a explanation of your current life circumstances; however, this may be a genuine ask. It is kind and considerate to reply honestly, thanking them for asking. He/She may be the one God placed in your day for you to share your heart with.
2.) If you feel led to share, be respectful of their time. God does schedule divine appointments often, however, this person, whether a friend we run into, or a staffed person, had not made plans to spend 2-20minutes with you. Find out first if they actually have a few minutes to step aside and share. Ask them if they have a few minutes to talk or pray before you unload on them, putting them into a corner they may feel backed up against. It may be the perfect time that God has set aside for both of you and it will be perfectly timed and sweet. Just be sure to discern so before you assume so.
3.) Are we willing to be honest when things are not fine and say so? Even in pleasantries? Of course, I will be fine when I respond, I am fine but that's not my current truth. I am not fine even though I will be fine. Not wishing to lie, and to live an authentic life, I have learned to say, "Not every day can be a great one, but God is good." 

Pride wants us to portray perfection. God wants us to portray Peace. Not every one who walks out their door is perfectly fine. In this world, we will have troubles and it's okay to share them when we do. He tells us to share our burdens, confess our sins one to another, and rejoice with all. Maybe we have something exciting we can't wait to share with someone today, or maybe we just received devastating news and are seeking out someone to share it with. We all have "Those Days," "Those Feelings." Are you the one God has sent to ask "How are you?" Be ready! They may just have something to say, for real!!

"May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God." Romans 15:5-7 ESV

Mountain of Fear to Cracks and Gaps

I look back now and wonder how my life could have been different if I would have walked in the freedom of The Cross, being more confident and courageous, taking risks, one willing to fail and face rejection, not only in life, but within relationships with others and especially the Lord!? Oh the pit owned by Woulda, Coulda, and Shoulda. Thank God for the Great I Am! The God of Today! The God of all the Yesterdays!!! New mercies are ours. New opportunities! New spiritual muscles to climb of Will, Can and Should to climb out of any pit we fall into!!

Over the years, the fear of rejection (from God and others) built a mountain-sized wall, rock by rock, around my heart that allowed my heart to control the flow, pouring outward, not inward. I knew how insecure, anxious, inadequate and unintelligent I was on the inside. I couldn't let anyone know how "empty" I was on the inside. Receiving any sort of recognition or praise, and even help from others felt wrong to me. If they only knew I didn't deserve it. And I wanted to be the one helping. It’s like taking the 1st Place trophy when you clearly came in 4th Place. It wasn’t right. I had a very pure heart with a genuine honesty that I absolutely could not take something that someone else deserved more, especially knowing I did not. So, the walls slowly built. Walls of pride and perfection that said, Here I am whole-heartedly...however, it's a one-way road. Picture a volcano. The stuff comes out but nothing comes in. Constantly flowing outward, nothing comes back up the mountain. It had been established there with rocky façade to make sure no one could climb in. Sure, I wanted love to come in, I am a heart-felt person, but I was afraid. Afraid they would see I didn’t deserve their friendship or gift. Fear they would see I was actually nothing, a nobody. Fear they would betray me. Fear they would make fun of me. Fear became my Protector. It was my constant Security Guard controlling the world around me. No one was permitted beyond a certain point. Satan fed me the lie that to honor God well, I had to reflect God in His perfection, sacrifice self, deny myself. He has been clever at distorting the truths of God since the beginning of time.

I prayed for the opportunity to meet others where they were and encourage them, however, no one was allowed to join me where I was. I remember when my parents announced they were getting a divorce the summer of my Sophomore year in high school, and I zipped up my upper lip, got in my car, and got busy. I stayed busy with school work and dance team. I could be found at the church every second the door was open, playing volleyball or cleaning, helping others do whatever they needed, all to keep busy. I was most certainly devastated but I didn't show it. After time, I didn't see it anymore. It was buried in lava. I remained strong and available for everyone else, and for me. They would know how strong I was if I kept smiling and it would then prove my emotional and spiritual maturity. And, I could appear "just fine" to be there to encourage them in their time of need. Oh how backwards I was!!!

 Even as I have this conversation with you, I am praying God strengthens me to be transparent in my heart's thoughts, feelings and attitudes. As heart-driven of a person I am, I still struggle with fear, even though it is to a much lesser degree than in years past. Praise The Lord!! While I am shy by nature, fear is a thorn in my side, a scar on my soul, a pit in a tiny corner of my heart. It's a wound only the pure Grace of God can heal. Walls have been built and set for many, many years. They were built high and wide to protect and block pain from entering in. I felt protected, safe and self-sufficient behind my walls. They were thick. This may not have been the healthiest way for me to avoid pain but it was the easiest.

Everyone else seemed to be bold and courageous, strong and beautiful. It just wasn’t me. I had settled into the shy girl role and was fine right there. Eventually, I also settled into the ditzy-blonde girl role given to me, accepting all the dumb blonde jokes and their implications. In the 90’s it was not easy being blonde. You either had to bounce around bubbly-dumb or spend a lot of time and energy proving people wrong which is what I attempted. Although I will admit, I never was the smartest girl in the room, I still wasn’t dumb! Over the years, I simply asked God, my very Best Friend, to fill my void of intimacy and sustain me. To be clear, God should be our most intimate relationship. He should be the One who fills our heart and spirit. I am referring to when we reject other genuine relationships. 

Surrounded by people all the time, it was such an internally lonely existence and yet all the while I was being fooled by feeling God-honoring, righteous and purposeful, that my feelings didn’t really matter, I was all about ministering to others, others needed love, joy, hope and encouragement. Not me. Besides, I had Jesus as my BFF and that’s all I needed. And, if I wanted Him to stay close to me and not leave me, because then I would really be alone, I needed to do right, act right and be selfless. Jesus is Grace! I thought grace was for everyone else, something you could earn, something you could get, something you deserved. Wrong! Grace is a gift! Jesus is Grace!

God desires us to rely on Him, trusting His judgement over our own, as we live in community with each other. God places specific people in our life to bring us closer to Him, be it us giving into their life or us receiving from them. Not every relationship will look the same and neither will it have the same dynamic as others. We cannot fully know why God brings certain people into our lives but one thing we can know, that He is in control and works all things out for our good and His glory. 

I have some friends who I think it’s a no-brainer we are friends with so much in common and just enough differences that they are a healthy sharpening, “as iron sharpens iron.” Proverbs 27:17. We need each other to grow. Then there are those “uncommon” friends who you wonder what you could possibly have in common and then all you see is God between you! We need each other to grow. Sadly, others hurt us in such a way that we learn harder life lessons, finding joy, peace, comfort and strength through sorrow, betrayal, hurts and loss. We need each other to grow. Every person touches us one way or another. We need each other to grow, and glorify the Father. What a shame to keep all the good ones out just to avoid the few painful ones. And to miss all those blessings and growth?!? We need each other! Remember, His way, His time, His glory! Our faith needs to be in the One who is ruler of this world and the spiritual world. He knows and sees everything! He is the Author of Life, beginning to end! 

Since God's rebuilding of my heart to look and function more like His, I can say that He has been sooo gracious to take down those jagged lava stones one at a time. Evidently I wasn't moving at the pace God wanted me to, so He blessed my boots off with a few Rock Climbing Sisters who relentlessly climbed on over my heavily guarded rocks! The change of Guard finally happened and My Rock replaced My Fear. Till this day, God stands guarding my heart and I know that He will only allow in what He knows to be for my good and His glory. I trust Him.

 Oh, how I wish I would have lived a life of greater trust, faith and obedience before now. And honestly, how I pray I always will. I hope I do. I plan to. I wonder how many times blessings passed me by over the years?! How often that “cool” thing could have been an “awesome” thing? I had become deceived that my feelings didn’t matter. Why did I think that? Why were my needs any less of a concern or importance than any one else’s? I believed the lies that I wasn’t good enough, others had it worse than me, I needed to be strong and prove my faith. With God by my side, surely I ought to be just fine...He is my strength, right? He is my joy, right? Yes, but those are grace enabling attributes because of The Power of The Cross. Not because I was strong or good enough. All God, none of me! 

Ministering seemed to be a way for me to compensate for my inadequacy as I tried to prove my perfection as I helped others be “perfect” and feel loved and valued. They are so precious, imagine what God could do through them if they would just know how valuable and capable they were. When I got honest with myself, I realized it was true. I hid behind all my doings, keeping busy with others, using my gifts of compassion and encouragement, which distracted me from my own issues, plus I thought I was honoring God with my gifts and my heart, "considering others better than myself." 

I guess I knew what inadequacy felt like and I didn’t want others to feel that way too. I knew how cowardly I felt and I wanted others to feel courageous and strong. My imperfect self would help others feel perfect and special. If you could see me right now, shaking my head. Writing those words down, I just cringe, shaking a spiritual fist at my younger self! Back then, my way of thinking made perfect sense in my head, but on paper, and now looking back, what twisted truths crafted into lies, molded straight from the pit of darkness. Everyone else deserves (blank) more than me. Their needs were greater. They were more worthy and had more potential to go further and I would help them do it, praying over them, doing life and Bible study with their interest and soul in mind. Never mind me. I was fine with Jesus as my BFF. What more did I need!?! Grace! That's what I needed! And eventually a holy spanking to knock that non-sense outa me!  

Becoming a Mom only made matters worse! The "suck it up" part of parenting kicks in, the "lead by example" pressure is high. Following all the world's expectations of raising a "law abiding citizen with manners and a perfect outfit"...my wanting a perfect life just got harder....the fears, lies, hopes, and expectations only rooted deeper. 

Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda…here I am now and there is absolutely nothing any of us can do to change the paths that have already been walked. We can, however, choose today, to take a new path! Thank God we can begin a new direction on the road of forgiveness, grace and redemption! Praise God for His mercies that are new each and every morning! So, how am I different now? I am still shy at heart, that's just how God molded me in my demeanor, but I am not hidden or afraid. I acknowledge my gift of encouragement from the Lord and I walk in His strength and abilities to do it as I always have, however, I don't hide behind my own hurts, insecurities and failures in order to love on others. It is because of my own hurts that I can understand theirs. I pray my imperfections highlight the perfection of a Saving God! Through all my cracks and gaps, I pray others see Jesus. If they judge me, hurt me, betray me, belittle me, I trust the Guard of my heart to take care of them on my behalf! And He will take care of me just as He promises He will. Thank You Lord for my perfectly imperfect life!!! 

May I take a moment and tell you how precious you are to the Lord?! You may not feel precious in your life and you may be desperate for validation and assurance that you are worthy of Grace. Let me tell you, from someone who wondered the same things, YES! Yes, you already are. Even in your mistakes. Even in the midst of crisis. Even when you make poor choices. Even when your heart wrongfully is led by pride, perfection and even a twisted truth of righteousness. You are deeply, unconditionally, loved and Grace can set you free if you will just climb out of your pit, or off your mountain, whichever place you find yourself!! Dig out of there and into The Word of God. You will not know the lies until you know The Truth. Read it for the sake of wisdom and discernment but for the sake of grace, be truth and love to yourself and others! He knows your heart. He gave it to you!! 

 "So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in Him, "If you abide in My word, you are truly My disciples, 

and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." 

John 8:31-32 ESV.

“Lord, thank You for Your faithfulness to see me through my immature and selfish, fearful days. Create in me a clean heart O Lord, day after day. Grant me renewed boldness, honesty and spirit led determination to work out my salvation to bring You glory.  May You always be the Guard over my heart, my soul and my mind that fear will have no room. God, I still ask you to completely remove the thorn in me that I would be fully free. I know I am nothing and I am undeserving of Your amazing grace gift, but Lord, I accept it and thank You with a humble heart who's eyes are set on You! I acknowledge my imperfections Lord and am so grateful that You certainly are my strength, all I need! May others see the image of Your beauty within me. It is my desire that You so fill me up that all others can see is You. Consume me from the inside out. Burn away all the lies and saturate me with Your truth! Remind us in our weak moments Lord that You are near. Thank You for sending Rock Climbers into our lives to reach our core. Help us to encourage each other from genuine hearts that are open and honest too. May we never seem perfect to others but rather, help them to see the You, the only Perfect One!!  “Better is one day in Your house than thousands others!” Psalm 94:10 Amen!

“Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to Your love remember me, for You are good, O Lord.” Psalms 25:4-7

Thicker Skin

I LOVE being out in the nature of God!! His glory is on display at every glance. There are glimpses of His mightiness in the trees and unshakeable boldness in the mountains, His consistency and strength in the waves of the oceans, His kindness and care in the smallest of detail on the flowers and creeping little critters.

 

There is so much beauty to be seen!!! I have hundreds of pictures from my time outside. One thing I have observed is the amount of thorns scattered amongst the beauty.
I was enjoying a day outside and as you can see in the photo with my sock, there are pokey things digging in like needles into my skin. I got these painful pokes during a walk with a friend. I couldn't take it anymore and I had to stop and remove these needles in my foot!! My friend laughed at my "tenderness" as she felt nothing from the few in her own sock. "How can that not hurt you?" I asked. She replied, " I guess I have thicker skin." I must agree...on many levels! LOL
God brought back that moment a few days later when I was upset. We look at other people and wonder how they can experience pains and seem unaffected by it while our heart feels like it is literally breaking into pieces. We will not all respond the same way to every situation. God did not create humans to be robots. We were created and fashioned differently. The truth is, what's true for me may not be true for you. We are His masterpiece, wonderfully made to think, feel, and live!

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139:14

The way we think and respond (while rooted in the truth of Christ) to trials will vary. A harsh word spoken to me may be like a dart thrown at my heart while a harsh word spoken to my friend may be like throwing a spear at her heart. I may fall down but you can be sure my thick skinned friend would rise up before you, surely standing taller than you!! An illness or trial that falls upon me may cause my heart to fear while the same trial for another may gird them up in anticipation for a good, Holy fight. I may crater, while they rise up. We are not all the same.
It's easy for us to go about our day thinking our reality is the reality for everyone else, but I would dare to say there is a pridefulness within us that says "Our ways are right." "This is truth for me and therefore it must be the same for you." We begin to judge and possibly shame or condemn others when they don't respond just like we would in their situation. What makes us think we are so right?!
I am challenged today to check my pride and exercise mercy and compassion towards others knowing that what works for me and what I think is right may not be their right. (Obviously I am not discussing the absolutes of God's Words and commands. But considering the heart and soul of others.)
May we look at the Creation of our World and remember that we too are each created with a specific design. May we remember that God's Truth is the Only Truth to consider as absolute. Our roots and our fruits may be the same but the type of bloom we are is as diverse as the flowers of the fields!!

Challenge:
* Next time you hurt, know it's okay if it's hurting you. You may just have tender skin compared to another. And really, who's comparing? Our truth is Christ alone.

 "I will meditate on Your precepts and fix my eyes on Your ways." Psalm 119:15 

* And if another expresses hurt, extend mercy and love, believing their hurt to be real even if you don't think it's valid. 

"Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love." Ephesians 4:15-16

"Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; 5 and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; 6 and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. 7 To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.

For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body--Jews or Greeks, slaves or free--and all were made to drink of one Spirit. 

14 For the body does not consist of one member but of many. 

The eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you," nor again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you." 22 On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, 24 which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, 25 that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. 26 If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. 27 Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it." 1 Corinthians 12:4-7, 12-14, 21-27