Finding My "Niche" with The Lord: Me Time vs God's Time

I have come to enjoy my early morning coffee and quiet time with The Lord of Glory. The air is crisp, the transformation of the sky is glorious and peaceful. The birds begin to stir and sing their songs from the treelines. There was a day not too many years past that it was a laborious act for me to rise early (when I didn't have to). I would set the alarm and turn it off and go back to sleep. I knew I needed to and wanted to. Maybe if I hadn't stayed up so late sometimes! But I had found the late evening hours a time of peace and quiet for me to detox from a busy, long day. No one was left to create more mess so it was the only time I could actually pick up and clean up for the next day. But morning came and I was too sleepy to get up and have any kind of focus. But I wanted to have quiet time with God that was sweet and satisfying. The only quiet times I had, I spent cleaning or finally getting to watch my own show. It was really Me Time not God's Time. My husband would tell me, "Go to bed earlier and you can get up earlier" (Easy for him to say...he is a natural morning person whereas I am more of a night owl). But see, he had disciplined himself to do that over that years and it was easier for him. I would eventually learn the same discipline despite my natural late night disposition. 
For years however, I had stayed up late, not able to wake up early, then, conviction consumed me and I would tell God, "Later today." Later today meant I would squeeze it in somewhere and my deep study time often turned into a quick 10min devotion as I waited for the kids to get off the school bus. Oddly, I would wake up wide awake at 3am. I came to realize it was God poking at me to get my attention. It appeared to be the only time of the day I was still and truly His. At first, I thought it was really cool but then it saddened me that He had to do that. Now when that happens, I am thankful because I know it's bonus time and He wants to be with me. They are some of the sweetest moments for me now. I know it's not because I haven't spoken to Him, it's just more time.
As time went on, convictions chiseled away at my lack of determination and lack of self-control. One day, I prayed. (Genius I know!) I prayed and asked God to help me discipline myself at night so I could rise early since it was my heart's desire to be able to really meet with Him. I had had enough and was tired of letting myself down. And He answered. I have heard it said, "Our house is a Home, not a Hotel." It was time to hold the family accountable to do their part in keeping it clean and running well. My mornings began to shift. And God started to meet with me. If my alarm was set for 5:30am, He would sit me straight up in my bed at 5:20am just as He had done for His 3am wake up calls. I was the craziest thing. I don't know how it happened, but God...His timing was perfect. And so the discipline began to shape my heart, my mind and tired body. 
Things had to change. It took great discipline to establish new cleaning routines at the end of the day with the kids helping to clean as we go so I didn't end up doing it all myself and having to stay up late. During the day, I have learned to get my chores done before 1pm. Sure, there are days things don't go according to plan and nights dishes and toys get left out but I know I will have to adjust and face them tomorrow and not grumble about the choice or circumstances from the day before. It rarely happens, but it's okay when it does. Life happens and I will always choose people over projects (thank you Pastor Tony for that reminder.) 
In the beginning, I got up and sat limp and glossy-eyed staring at my Bible Study, yet eager. As time went on, my mind processed quicker, my eyes grew clearer, my heart softened and my body began to crave the early morning feast of Bread & Water (and coffee!). Me Time turned into God's Time.
I may meet with Him, but I don't always study in the early mornings. Every season calls for a different pattern. When the kids were much younger, I knew nights could be interrupted making an early morning wake up an unfocused one, so I enjoyed meeting the Lord at their afternoon nap time every day at 2pm. As they grew older, nights were less interrupted, naps went away and I was able to get up early. When all the kids were in school and I had the time alone in the house, with discipline not to keep doing chores, I scheduled my study and quiet time sometime during the day before they returned home. 
For the past couple of years now, I have gotten into a similar routine. I am eager to rise early, make my cup of hot coffee and sit outside and pray. (I find that inside I am distracted to do something like clean or make breakfast.) Depending on the day or or how I am feeling (eager or exhausted), I may pull out my study material but I plan to take a study time later in the day before the kids return home from school. (I understand Homeschooling Moms-I did it too and you don't have a kid-free hour, but I encourage you to have specific quiet study time where Mom and kids have scheduled time of quiet whether they are also reading, doing homework or resting. Just make sure there is no moving around the house and no distractions or disruptions. It takes a few times to implement this intentional time but it will happen!) 
Once the kids are home from school, (project time is over), my focus turns to the family (people, not projects), they are the mission field God has given me. It is nearly impossible to have uninterrupted time to focus and study anyway, I know, I tried! I can do general reading, but not study. If I wait to study at night, I am usually too tired or I am needing to spend time with the hubby. So, my only guarded time for study and prayer is early morning or a day time hour alone. No matter what, every day begins and ends with prayer and acknowledgement of Him. "And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed." Mark 1:35. I can't help but wonder if this is why He went so early before He began His day's work serving others...He would not be interrupted and His Father was probably just as eager to meet with Him as The Son was. 
Honestly, there are days I don't get to sit down and study like I wish I could. Life happens. But I rest knowing that God knows my heart and sees my desire for Him daily, even if means I didn't get out pen and paper. I don't beat myself up over it either. Just as in any relationship, when we know the intentionality of the heart, we cherish and embrace the times we are together and look forward in anticipation to the next time whenever that may be, hopefully sooner than later!! My love for Him is not lazy!! So, be patient with yourself as you try new disciplines throughout your day and night to accomplish your goals with God! He will certainly do His part to be there, will you?!?
I share my own personal prayer and study habits as an encouragement (hopefully) to someone out here in BlogWorld who is needing some encouragement to find their niche. People can become so legalistic about "Quiet Times" about when and how they must be done, but I think time with the Lord is supposed to be an intentional time spent focused on Him and that will vary for each person and each season of their life. We are all in different places with different life circumstances and different types of jobs. But God is the Same! He just wants to meet with you right where you are. We must finally say Enough! and meet with Him out of love, not obligation, not because we have to or ought to, but because we sincerely desire to rest in Him and seek Him with all our heart to purpose our life and day. The old saying is true...you get out of it what you put into it. 
When we find our special niche of time with our Lord, our heart's will be filled with energy  purpose, joy and focus. His joy will be our strength. His ways will be our ways. Me Time becomes God's Time and nothing is sweeter or more satisfying!! "For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere." Psalm 84:10a Amen!!

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will hear you. You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13 ESV 

"Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for He gives to His beloved sleep." Psalm 127:1-2 ESV

" "And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you, but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all His ways, to love Him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the commandments and statutes of the LORD, which I am commanding you today for your good? Behold, to the LORD your God belong heaven and the heaven of heavens, the earth with all that is in it. Yet the LORD set His heart in love on your fathers and chose their offspring after them, you above all peoples, as you are this day. Circumcise therefore the foreskin of your heart, and be no longer stubborn." Deuteronomy 10:12-16 ESV

Accountability takes guts!!! Do you have it?!?

Accountability takes guts! When someone humbles themselves enough to say, "I can't do this on my own, I need help," that takes guts! What a great ministry to share with someone. It is both a great honor and responsibility we then have to hold them accountable to whatever it is they are asking. It should not be a quick decision on our part to say, "Sure I will be your accountability partner." We must first pray and ask God if it is His plan for you to be the one to hold the accountability with them, just as in every ministry commitment we are presented. If God is not in it, it won't be fruitful and if God is leading them to this place, He has already equipped someone to come alongside them and it may not be you. 
If God confirms His Yes for the new partnership, then sit down together and be open and honest about expectations and boundaries. What is the specific need? How often do they feel they should check in with you or do they expect/hope you will check in on them? What is the time frame which ya'll will commit to in the beginning? What if they have not met the current expectation, do they want a little nudge of encouragement or a big kick-in-the-backside kind of push? Everyone's personalities are different, what works for us doesn't necessarily work for the other person. It's important to have these conversations to thwart any misunderstandings, unmet expectations and to have the greatest benefit in achieving the end result. 
I am soooo thankful for the people God has placed in my life over the years to hold me accountable. God is so good to give us what we need. Several years ago I found myself taking a sort of inventory of my life- where did I spend most of my time, what did I do with my time, who were my friends, who did I trust in my inner circle of friends, what were my goals, what needed to change, where was I headed physically emotionally and spiritually, etc. As I looked at the women God had (and continues to place in my life,) I realized they were all very confident and courageous women, in themselves and in God. It was what they all had in common. They loved God fiercely and without shame, and they were confident and bold women of faith. 
I always had wanted to be more like that but continually found myself hiding behind women like them. But God...He knew my heart's desires and "coincidently" established deep and wonderful friendships with these amazing women of all ages. Oh how I wished I could be more like them even to this day. They say what they mean. They face opposition and temptation with confidence that God is greater than anything they face. Scriptures flows through their innermost being-heart, mind and soul. They pray with diligence and anticipation. These women didn't hide behind anything. It was me who hid behind them! 
Fear of their judgement or potential disappointment kept me from asking for guidance and help. But there came a point in different areas in my life where I had had enough. Enough trying to do "it" on my own. I was sick of failing. It wasn't easy. Humbling yourself also means vulnerability. 
A perfectionist, a shy person, an insecure person, a person who struggles with anxiety/fear, a prideful person, someone who has trust issues because of past betrayals...it takes a lot for them to ask for help because it means they must first break down serious walls to let you in. That was me...all of those at one time in my life, for a greater part of my life actually. I know, many of you who know me today, or who have only known me for the past few years, cannot imagine me being so shy or anxious inside but to God be all the glory! I pray this testimony highlights His grace, redemption and healing. God has worked in my life in my time alone with Him and through the accountability and prayers of others. I trusted God had crossed our paths for such a time as this, and I needed to trust Him with the relationships and process.
That is why it is hugely important to pray about who you ask to hold you accountable because you are giving over to them something that is obviously important to you and you want this to be handled with Christ's care. And if you are the accountability partner, you must bathe them with prayer and interceded on their behalf so Satan doesn't get a foothold during this tender growing and pruning time in their life. 
There is something so precious when God blesses you with friends who share a like-mindedness of faith, beliefs, goals, desires, dreams. You find they are stronger in areas you are weaker and visa versa and you are a source of great encouragement and strength together. "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him--a threefold cord is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:9-12a. And "as iron sharpens iron" Proverbs 27:17, so we do!  
Different friends bring different gifts and blessings into your life. Having friends are important, so is having more than one. I don't think we need an army of them either but we do need a few close to the heart ones. If it is a healthy, God-centered relationship, there is a trust connection that only God can affirm and knit together a natural vulnerability to be who you are, where you are in your life and in that, a natural sense of accountability is understood and welcomed. You don't always have to formally ask. Just in sharing life together, you "encourage and stir one another up" (1 Thess 5:11) knowing where they need encouragement and how to motivate them towards holiness as they also do for you. We remind them about grace as we give them grace. We remind them and teach them how to stay strong as we stand in the trenches with them. We share in their joys and in their sorrows as life happens. Our friendships can be Lighthouses to each other and to a watching world who wonder "how can they be friends?" "how can they be so honest and happy?" "how can they be so trusting or loving or forgiving?" "where did they get their courage?" 

This New Years our family participated in our first 5K Walk, Run, Crawl together. It was a toss up of sleeping in or the race, but that was the very reason we needed to do this...to change things up and start something new. Well, my walking buddy girlfriend had also signed up and we decided in the least, we could manage to crawl it together since our kids would most likely beat us to the finish line by a landslide. Crawling was obviously allowed since it was part of the name! Neither of us had even walked that distance before so it turned into an encouragement-accounatability thing. She joked about finishing a lap and we could veer off course to the nearby beach, or walk home and have a cup of coffee together...tempting for sure, but there was that little thing called accountability that God had woven between us and we would walk it or crawl it to the end! I joked back that I would bring my tether rope and strap us together so if she or I tried to veer off course or slow down the other would be the pull that keeps us moving together on pace. And it was a great visual of walking together in Christ and the accountability we have within The Body. When one is weak, the other can be strong, " For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!" Between us, we will finish "the race." 
I can testify, life isn't always easy but it is true when others notice my "happy", I am happier now in my life than I have ever been before. Not just because I've had great accountability breakthroughs or the fact God has blessed me beyond what I deserve in the Sisterhood department, or that I am living in paradise, or that I am healthy, or that I have a husband and family who love me greatly, believe me, I count my blessings amongst all the trials and bad days...but I am happy and joy-filled because I realize (and am learning to embrace it more confidently) how much I am valued and loved, as John 3:16 says...enough to die for. I believe Jeremiah 29:11 is true for me just like it is true for everybody else. He has a plan, and it is good! I have grown in my faith, trusting God more than I trust myself. When I am weak, the grace of God gives me strength and if I need a little poke or a push, He is faithful to make sure I get it whether I think I need it or not! 
I owe a heartfelt THANK YOU to my Sisters in Christ who share their hearts with me, offering not only sharpening of spirits but also equal vulnerability and trustworthiness. Over the years, some of you have been in the deeper trenches with me and stuck with me till I got through the other side. Others have blessed me with opportunity to simply learn to be a real-goes both ways-friend, living honestly before you, admitting mistakes and weaknesses and receiving grace and sometimes a little push or poke, and yes, even a kick in my backside a few times. I can share struggles as easily as I share my victories without fear of judgement. My life is sweeter because of your love and accountability poured out in my life. Thank you from my heart!!!! ( I would love to scroll through and post some pictures right now and brag on you, but I will let God bless you in a special way!)
I don't know what it is that you are wishing for or possibly needing a breakthrough in your own life but through prayer, seeking God with all your heart, receiving His love for you, and embracing the people God places in your life to help you, you will overcome! There is strength in numbers!! Prepare yourself to do your part and pray for God to do the rest, trusting Him more than you trust yourself.   
"Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. " Romans 12:9-16


(For those wondering...yes, we did finish our first 5k and it was a blast! Walking (life) with a buddy makes it more fun and somehow times goes so much quicker. I find this to be true in most areas of life.)

And to my husband who has put up with me going on 22 years of marriage, thank you and I love you for putting up with all my quirks!! Thank you for encouraging my time spent in my relationships with so many amazing women and women's ministry events over the years. I am definitely a better wife to you because of their wisdom and examples shared and prayers lifted on my/our behalf!   
  

Checking the Check List

I recently heard an excerpt from an interview with Lysa Terkeurst who has become one of my favorite authors and she issued a warning to those of us who are List Makers to be careful in our walk with the Lord to not become a Check List Christian. That spoke directly to me. It is something this Recovering-From-Perfectionism girl has to be careful with. 
My eyes and ears have always been perked when I hear of a "new" Prayer Plan or Reading Plan, or Study Plan, Dos and Don'ts for Quiet Times, and on and on the How To's and Need To's go. I so desperately want to get this whole "walk with the Lord thing" right. I have often wondered how all the "super spiritual" women in my life spend their days and quiet times with the Lord to live such beautiful, peaceful, trusting lives, always filled with wisdom and joy, energy and hopefulness, and with such a deep knowledge of the Lord. I mean, I have my list of how it's supposed to look as I study the Proverbs 31 and Titus 2 Woman (and of course, adding my own high expectations). Up early, memorize chapters of The Word, take pages of notes, humbly and eloquently praying~ admitting, confessing, interceding and praising an Almighty God, living the day seemingly perfectly intuned to the Lord, never a harsh word spoken or impure thought, grandeous meals from the garden (not the box or freezer section), lending a hand to all in need, encouraging the weak, protecting the family name and God's name before a critical and broken world. I could go on, but can't you just feel the pressure building inside?!? 
Satan knows how to turn our good desires into anxiousness "but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." Genesis 50:20  When I look at the "super spiritual" women, it appears to me they can do it all! In reality, I am assuming they do it all! When I question them on how they manage to "do it all" they are quick to share their imperfectionisim and trails they had to learn from over the years that brought them to the place where they are now which is still "a work in progress" as they say. My heart desire to please the Lord and serve Him with all my heart, and through that, serving and loving God, my family and others perfectly with a constant smile on my face was a daily goal, one I never could meet fully. I'd do one thing really well but fail with another. I was consumed with doing the right thing, for the right reason, the right way every time, every day, for every one. 
I had my To Do List for Prayer, for Quiet Times, for being a Perfect Wife and Mother, Friend, Church member, that it nearly killed me! Soooo many rules. Soooo many expectations. How can I live a less pressured life? How do I have joy and peace when I feel as if I am constantly failing? When will I ever feel as if I've finally arrived at spiritual maturity and life becomes easier? I just wanted to feel more natural in my walk with the Lord like these other "super spiritual" ladies, effortlessly praying and serving and living life. 
So, I began to watch and listen more. I listened to the prayers of these amazing "super spiritual" women around me. I learned more about their days and things they did and didn't do as they served their families and the community. It didn't take long to realize what I perceived as "super spiritual" was actually "super love" for the Lord their God. They also had a different kind of reverent fear about Him. They loved Him with all their heart and they postured themselves regularly and genuinely before Him each day as they led their families, in their Bible study times and through their thoughts and prayers. I saw relationship more than religious to-dos and guidelines.
Time with the Lord and prayer are such intimate moments with the Lord. I think sometimes we forget Who we are talking to. As I had the privilege to pray and/or study with some of these Godly Women, instead of listening to what they would say, I began to listen for how they said it. How beautiful. How pure. How honest. How heart-felt. How reverent. How loving. How comfortable and trusting. It was as if God was tangible in this conversation of 2. He wasn't a distant God. Was it really that easy to pray? Is that all you have to say? I admit, I expected something poetic and King James-like and big glorious words to pour out of these saintly hearts. But it wasn't so. These were real women, friends of mine, who simply loved the Lord and expressed their hearts in their own words with their own personalities, pouring out their confessions, intercessions and praises. How beautiful and real.
Mattew 6:5-8 warns us " "And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. "And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him."
So began the process of learning how to be real and intentional in my walk. It's not that I was fake, but it was so Pharisee-like, governed by rules, guaranteed by logic and not truly led by faith. I learned that while there are wonderful ways to approach my quiet times, my Bible Studies, how to manage my home, serve and love The Body, the main thing is to simply approach Him with a sincere and genuine heart, knowing He is right there with you. We get so anxious about doing it right we end up not pursuing Him, or maybe the opposite is true, we are too busy to take the time to be with Him and we assume He will just know our thoughts and that be enough. 
What God desires is not our Lists. God desires, us. He wants a relationship. Yes, He wants us to pray and lift needs and petitions to Him, to serve Him but if we don't have love, we have lost relationship and gained religion. He wants us to seek after Him with a genuine and expecting heart knowing we will find Him and there our heart will find rest, a peace that surpasses understanding and grace that motivates us to love God and others more. We begin to serve Him out of that overflow. Not the opposite. Works don't strengthen our relationships...love does. God knew we couldn't do everything perfectly, and that's why He sent His Perfect Son Christ Jesus to be Love for us and to us. Only in the power and strength of Christ can we pour out real love and walk with integrity of heart, soul and mind. Because of my love for the Lord, my energy and passions to serve Him well pour into my day. My heart is full and satisfied. I am content in Him and not in my lists and expectations. I love being in The Word where I get to know Him better and learn ways to serve Him better...because I want to...not because I am supposed to. Who doesn't want to spend time with their Best Friend, Greatest Supporter, Protector and Provider? He is my Greatest Love and every moment I get to be with Him is a treasured time. I enjoy my Daily Bread.
If you have been away from the Lord or your time with Him seems to have grown stale, I encourage you to simply return back, approach Him with a genuine and intentional heart. Share freely, honestly and simply. He is longing for you just as a Shepherd for his sheep. Share the concerns and desires of your heart. Ask for His help to live the Life He has planned for you. If you need directions on how to structure a quiet time or read the Bible, or serve in Church, or manage your home, there are plenty of resources out there to get you started and keep you going. Structure is good. Check Lists are good. However, that must not be the center or substitute for what it means to have a relationship with God. I cannot work my way to righteousness. Just as doing chores in your house doesn't make it a home, neither do check lists make your walk with God a relationship. Love makes a house a home and the same love connects us heart to Heart. And, regarding spiritual maturity...my busyness in the Kingdom does not mean I have arrived at spiritual maturity. It means I am busy. Besides, maturity is a process of growing. No one arrives until you have officially arrived! Having an accountability partner is another wonderful way to stay on track in our journey with the Lord. I have grown the most when I have been held accountable. Will talk more about that in another blog. 
When I look across the room now and see these woman I consider "super spiritual," and spiritually mature, I better understand what it is about them. They are just super in love with Jesus and they have been doing that a long time! Out of that genuine and tangible love for Him, they serve and give their absolute best in everything they do. Knowing God like they do, nothing else matters...no one's opinions carry the weight that the Lord's does to them. Their success and To Dos are whatever God has planned for them. It is not them who are perfect (although close), it is the Perfect God, working through them and that is what I am seeing in them as the Light of Christ shines and they add Salt to the earth.
With 4 kiddos at home and my desire to accomplish all that I feel God is calling me to each day in my home and in the Kingdom, and to prevent laziness, I rely on my planner to keep me on track, but nothing is more important to me than relying on The Planner Himself. If nothing else gets accomplished on my To Do List, as long as I have met with Him, my soul is satisfied. I pray that the choices I make each day and the way I live my life are honoring to Him. I pray I stay on task and hope all I say, think and do would be in His name, for His glory and not out of obligation or pressure to perform. 
I know I am not alone in this which is why I share the warning from Lysa and my testimony of religion vs relationship. May you once again hear His whispers, see His direction, feel His energy, know His power and strength. May you know Real Love again!!! Blessings!!!!  

"Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, 20 by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, 21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25 Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:19-25

"Pray then like this: "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. 10 Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us this day our daily bread, 12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. 14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Matthew 6:9-15

Muscle Memory

The day before having to go back to school after the Christmas break, my daughter was going through her pink backpack to get her things in order for the new Spring semester and she sighed, "Mom, I think I forgot how to do my math." Doing my best not to give the "I Told You So" speech, I gently reminder her this was the very reason I had encouraged all the kids over the break to go through the folders and review. In Summers' past I have been accused of  "ruining" (according to the kids) their summer days by "forcing" them to do school work twice a week. It was really tough on them to do the 10 math problems a week and read for 20 minutes a day. It was just horrible. (Insert sarcastic tone.)
Our brains and muscles need repetition and reminders. It's that muscle memory that helps athletes quicken their positions and get their corresponding reactions accurately in a moment's notice. Learning new material through various ways (visual, audio, by touch, etc) is beneficial for all of our different learning styles but it is the repetition and studying of it that makes it stick. So, when test time comes, after a quick deep breath, we can confidently give our answer. We have greater confidence to accomplish a task, be it academic or athletic, when we know we have prepared for it best we knew how. Imagine taking a test you haven't studied for. Imagine a football player walking over to the tennis courts to play their game instead of his. Not smart. 
And yet, we often do the same thing in life....We don't prepare for the task ahead of us. We end up wishing our life away "I wish I would have (blank) so I could.."..."If only I would have (blank), this would have turned out better." Wishing only produces future regrets. Planning produces production. If we want results for whatever it is, maybe loosing weight, investing financially, healthy meal planning, learning a new skill, caring for our family, deepening a relationship, meeting new sales goals, getting help for a personal addiction...we must have a goal and a plan, then we need to take action and do it. Otherwise, we have only created a Wish List, and not a To Do List. 
Sometimes, the task ahead of us is something we can't plan for like an illness, injury, unemployment, devastation, crisis, a betrayal, market crash. This is the life test in which we must rely on our muscle memory. What will our first response be-physically, emotionally and spiritually when "suddenly" happens? Will we freeze or be frazzled or totally freak out?
As a Believer, that is why it is so important for us to be in God's Word and fellowship daily. Our hearts, souls and minds need to be committed to knowing, believing and applying God's Promises and Truths. Philippians 4:8 gives us help for our thoughts keeping our minds focused on goodness and hope, Romans 8:28 reminds us He is working, Colossians 1:17 assures us He holds everything together. There are so many! 
Just as in our human relationships, the more time you spend with the person, the better you know them. Time with someone allows you to see their heart lived out beyond their words. You can know who they are and not just who they say they are. Same with God. The more time you spend fellowshiping with Him, the more you see and know His heart. Head knowledge of hope becomes heart affirmations and truth. 
We must meditate on His Word, taking time daily to nurture the relationship with Him and not only praise Him and thank Him for His faithfulness and Love, but as we bring our requests to Him, may we also be still and listen. Like athletes in training, our muscles need recovery time as much as they need to be worked out.   
In this world, we will chase after glimmers of hope but when we chase after The Word, we have Hope. With Christ at The Center, we are refreshed, renewed and reminded how great our God is. We need to know the Truth, because it is the Truth that will set us free and enable us to accomplish what has been placed before us. When a trial comes, it will be the muscle memory of our hearts, minds and souls, that sustains us and gives us confidence to keep standing firm in our faith, moving us forward and not cratering under the pressure. We can be caught like a deer in the headlights. But, if we are prepared, our hearts and minds strengthen us with Truth...God is near, He will never leave you or forsake you, He is before all things and holds all things together, He has a plan to prosper you and not harm you, He is above all things and nothing can separate you from His love, You are more than a conquerer, He is able to do exceedingly more than you can think or imagine, if you have the faith of a mustard seed, you can move mountains in His name. And on and on our muscles flex and stretch to lengths we never thought possible.
For every trial or crisis I have faced in my own life, I am continually amazed at the graciousness of God. How grateful I am for the Holy Spirit who dwells in me who intercedes on my behalf when I am like that deer caught in the headlights and find myself frozen, unprepared for what I am facing. When one of my greatest crisis (there have been more than just a few) hit, I wasn't prepared and I froze. I stood aimlessly and was crushed, not knowing what to do or where to go. How I regret not having the muscle memory of faith, trust, wisdom, knowledge and steadfastness. Had I been more deeply rooted, and if I had known what I know now of God's power, I would have stood with greater confidence in my battle and fought harder, stood taller, endured longer and believed He was working out something better, for my good and His glory. But, I didn't. I wasn't prepared.
It took a few God-strong women as God's hands and feet, to come alongside me, and teach me as they interceded for me. They had muscle memory and experience I didn't have but I had always wished for. I wanted to be strong and courageous. I wanted to be a warrior woman who never failed or cratered under the weight of the world. I wanted to sing praises even if my heart and mind were shattered. I wanted my heart to bleed for the things of God even if it was scared or broken. But, I hadn't prepared or disciplined myself for it. My Wish List never turned into my To Do List. 
I am so thankful He leads me when I am lost towards paths of righteousness, beside the still waters. He comforts me and reminds me I am not alone when I am surrounded by the darkness of my pit. He reminds me that I can do all things with Him because He is my strength when I have collapsed. He reminds me there is a plan and that He is greater than any opposition I will ever face as I stare into the face of the enemy. I am so thankful for His compassion and grace. He stands by me and equips me for the battles I know are coming and He carries me through the ones I don't. When life floods my soul, He is my rescue. When I don't know what the answer is, He reminds me He IS The Answer. He is a faithful God. Oh how I want to return the blessing of being faithful back.
It is my heart's greatest "wish"  to love Him because He first loved me. If I want to actually do it, I must be intentional and have a plan and be diligent to actively seek after Him, growing in faithfulness, not wishing it, but actually planning, preparing, and doing it! If I am not disciplined, I will not develop my spiritual muscles that one day, will carry me through a place I can't think straight. I will find myself aimlessly wondering or crushed under the weight of the world. But if I am prepared when a test comes my way, after a quick deep breath, I can confidently respond by grabbing hold of my faith and standing firm. I am certainly not perfect or a Bible Scholar, but I do love The Lord with all my heart and I know Him better than the year before and therefore trust Him greater than ever before. He is my very best friend and my healer. He is my counselor and my peace. He is my everything and makes everything about me better! I am nothing without Him. I love Him so.
Today, are you ready for the "suddenlys" of life? What are you regretting having not done or wish you were doing now? While you cannot go back in time, you can live for today and make changes that begin here and now. Make a plan, prepare best you can, initiate the change. No more excuses or Wish Lists. Cast your cares upon Him because He cares for you. Be ready best you can. If God has called you to it, He will equip you for it! Even if it's a hobby or lifestyle change, stop wishing it and give it action. Pray and seek God first to be sure it is in His will for you in this season, and if so, He will provide for you the time, energy and resources you need to accomplish it according to what He has planned and prepared for you. But above all, seek God, know God first. Nothing on this earth compares to the Love of the Lord God.   
    
Father God Almighty, Maker of Heaven and Earth, You are beyond measure. Forgive my weak efforts to seek after you. Remove within me all that hinders me from earnestly seeking after you with all my heart. Take away my fears, my insecurities, my laziness and restore to me the fear and joy of my salvation. When my hands and heart grow weary, be my strength. Prepare me for tomorrow and help me live whole-heartedly for today. Thank You Lord for sending Your Son to lead by example what faithfulness to serve and love You and others looks like. He shows us how to pray and spend time talking to You. Help us be disciplined as we learn the muscle memory of faith, hope, trust, self-control, joy, peace, gentleness, and confidence. When suddenly comes, may we run to Your outstretched arms first and seek refuge and strength in You. Forgive us when we trust our own ways instead of trusting Yours. Help us to trust You more by knowing You more. There is none as great as You. Bless Your Holy Name, amen.

Remember The Honeymoon Phase?

Remember the Honeymoon Phase? In the beginning, you could walk without your feet touching the ground, your eyes saw sparkles in the air, your mind felt airy and light, your heart fluttered like a newly birthed butterfly, your hopes and dreams seemed as wide as the ocean's view and your energy soared effortlessly against strong winds like an eagle. It's the Honeymoon. And, now...your steps are slow and heavy, your eyes cast downward, your mind is weighty, your heart feels like 10# bowling ball, you hopes and dreams are but hopeless words on a page, and your energy is gone. The Honeymoon is...over. 
What happens in a relationship where life once seemed so colorful and exciting and adventurous and then one day, it seems grey and monotonous? The extraordinary has now become ordinary. Things are "as expected," maybe even dreary or disappointing. Eagerness has been replaced by expectation or exasperation. The energy you experienced in the beginning was consuming and now you feel, consumed. 
Before you start thinking, "Oh, the move has killed their marriage...," let me assure you right now, we are doing okay. Actually, I am not even writing this about my marriage. This is in response to something someone has shared with me and I admit, I have felt recently myself. I think we all have been there before at one time or another. 
The Honeymoon Phase is what we feel at the beginning of every new relationship. Think about when you first started your new job, met a new friend, moved to a new town, started a new ministry or project, had your first child....even in the first years of your salvation...it's fresh and new. Then, as time goes by, the adrenaline and newness wears off and the extraordinary become the routine-ordinary. Get-tos can become have-tos. The "high" we once felt has simmered and we begin to experience the "same'o same'o lows."
If we are not careful, we can simmer out. Satan has come "...only to steal and kill and destroy." John 10:10a. Whereas God says, "I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10b. When we begin to see life shrinking around us, our relationships seem to be missing something, our ministries feel dry, our projects become laborious and burdensome, we would be wise to consider, "has something been stolen from me for my abundance is gone." Ecclesiastes 3 reminds us there is a season for everything and God certainly uses these times of trials for testing to grow us and draw us closer to Him. God allows Satan to test us and through this we can also be pruned. Testing, pruning not trials are much fun. We could finish out this convo through a whole other blog.
But there are also times when we have in some way moved away from the Lord and we leave ourselves vulnerable to attack. And that's not even to say that we are intentionally "walking" away from Him (or our career, family, friend, ministry), but maybe we have grown weary and eventually, lazy. Have we shifted our focus? Maybe we have become so familiar we have learned how to make things work on our own. The extraordinary love we once felt is gone. And yet, of course, we are still committed. But our heart longs for that "first love." We want to feel that energy again.  
How do we rekindle it? Simply put, remember God's Love for you. In the beginning, we are engulfed with the learning process and we are eager to meet the challenge of all things new (in our spiritual and earthly lives). Over time, we settle for keeping up or maintaining status quo. If we go through life expecting to "feel" "high" all the time, in every relationship we join, we will quickly find ourselves disappointed and depleted. Our focus shifts from the commitment to content. 
Life is hard. Relationships are hard. Work is hard. Ministry is hard. It will be the commitment,  not the feelings, that see you through. When we choose to seek earnestly after our source of True Love, who is Christ Jesus our Lord, we re-discover our strength, endurance, joy, peace, contentment, hope, eagerness, and satisfaction. Our eyes will gaze upon His power and glory and no longer dwell on the shifting world around us. We remember and know His love is better than life and our lips are consumed with praising, not complaining. Our hands lift high out from the dirt. Our souls are full and satisfied as we remember The Lord our God. He is our help and our refuge to which we cling. We remember and know He is near and He holds us. Wow. That stirs my soul. What greater Love is there in life? What greater joy than to remember how much you are loved? He sent His one and only Son to die for you so you can have eternal life with Him! Nothing on earth can compare to knowing that and feeling that kind of love and commitment. 
God is committed to Love you His child. Even on those days we don't feel it, we can know it. This is true in all our human relationships too. We may not always feel "the honeymoon" but the commitment that we made in the beginning is what our heart's focus needs to be. It's the commitment that sustains us. When our feelings wear down and the newness fades away, may we find refreshment in the everlasting Love and commitment that started the Honeymoon to begin with. With our heart's full, goodness and joy are the overflow. We dare to dream bigger, live larger, hope for something greater than ourselves. The joy of the Lord is our strength! It is His consuming Love that pours out of us where we live, love, work, minister. If our heart's dry up, what is there to give, but dust?!
For the person who feels their life, relationship, career, family, or ministry is lacking something, may you first remember how much you are Loved by a great and Mighty God and embrace that love fully, once again. He is committed to you. Then, be on guard. There is a thief nearby quietly attempting to steal your joy and shift your focus into the shadows of darkness and off The Light. Satan is much more interested in you knowing that what you feel is true than what you know to be true. God is more interested in you knowing what us true than what you feel is true. 
I pray that your fire is rekindled in Jesus Name, because of His great Love for you. May your heart and soul once again be renewed in Him and out of that, you life's connections be strengthened and revived.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." 

Psalm 51:10

Action Steps:
1.) Humble yourself before the Lord, remember and embrace His love for you
2.) Spend time daily with your Greatest Love and be filled from the fellowship with Him
3.) God's Word is alive and active, be in it consistently to gain abundant life, increasing in wisdom and discernment, love and joy, peace and strength, hope and contentment 
4.) Pray over every relationship you have and ask the Lord to direct you in each one. Where God is, there will be joy and satisfaction. Ask Him what your part is to revive it and keep the connection and commitment strong and fresh (Even in the workplace, your marriage, your home life, your community, ministry, friendships, etc...there is joy even in the routines of life like laundry, dishes and work)
5.) Be aware of the enemy who creates chaos, who lies and destroys and rebuke him in Jesus' Name. Stand firm in your faith. Know the Truth and Truth will set you free!
6.) Love others well because God first well-loved you! 

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. 2 So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. 3 Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. 4 So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands. 5 My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, 6 when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; 7 for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. 8 My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me. 

Psalm 63:1-8 ESV

Happily New Year 2015!!!!

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand. 
Proverbs 19:21

We had talked for years about making a big move, day-dreaming of something more beautiful and scenic to wake up to each day. We are both mountain and beach people. We enjoy the gorgeous colors of Summer and the cool crisp air the mountains provide as well as the powdery snow that blankets the boulders in the winter time. And then there is Florida, another beautiful place. My Grandma lived in the Florida panhandle. Every summer growing up, we spent a week collecting shells along shores and dipping our toes into the blue waters of Panama City with it's gorgeous white sands. Either of these vacations spots, our hearts wondered "what if."  

Year after year, we joked and dreamed of that "one day," that we knew would never really come. Our family all lived close by and we were committed deeply to our church. The thought of ever really moving away was more of a passing thought of dreams. Several years ago, God started to stir in our hearts about making a move but not one of "those" moves. We wanted a smaller town, more outdoor space, and a stronger since of community. Without having to disrupt ties to family and church, we began looking at the next town over which offered beautiful acreage for possible horses too. We looked and looked but nothing ever came together. Then, God put it in our minds to think further, so another local spot we love is New Braunfels. It has everything we would love to have in a town. Our hearts were stirred to the point of confirming prayer and we planned a weekend trip over July 4th to explore and pray, cuz this was huge. It meant moving away from family, and moving churches. Huge! July 4th was one of our favorite times to visit there too! Such awesome fireworks with such great friends! 
Days before we were to go, my husband says, "I think God is telling us to go to The Keys." I laughed and quickly replied, Ummm, no!" He asked me to at least pray about it which I did. My heart was torn even though I knew God was leading us to go...I just wasn't sure I wanted to. It was a huger huge. It was half way across the United States!! It was the furthest we could go away from our Home. It was a dream, yes, but a scary one at the same time. I prayed and freaked, prayed, and freaked. All the cons flooded my list making mind. But God. 
The rest as they say is history. We still went to New Braunfels that weekend to put our feet on the ground and pray, asking God for absolute confirmation, and we enjoyed our time with friends as always. God confirmed it there, Go to the Keys. And yes, all 4 kiddos said yes too. The rest as they say is history! August 2, 2014, we landed here in The Keys and we couldn't be more humbled and grateful for His mercy and grace. We have found a place of paradise for our family. We have bonded closer as a family over the water. Time outside together has replaced old habits of wasting time in front of the tv. We share more and talk more then ever before. This is the small town community we have always hoped for one day.
God led us to a wonderful church which we all have come to love. There is a ministry for each of us (children, youth, men and women) that we have plugged in to. It was super important to us that the kids meet Christian friends, and they have found them at this church. I admit, I thought there wouldn't even be 1 church down here and yet it took us nearly 5 weeks to visit around! 
He has also given us really sweet friends to share this journey with. That was certainly a cherry on top. With a specific focus on God and Family, I didn't even imagine life here with "real" friends. But God. Life is sweeter when you share it with like-minded friends! 
As I sit here reflecting on my Key's patio, I still cannot believe we are here. Every new thing experienced here is also the first new thing away from Home. It's bittersweet. Even though we have peace and joy here, of course, we miss what's familiar- we miss our family, we miss our friends, we miss our church of 12 years. We even miss real mexican food! (heehee) But God. 
I never thought I would be here. (Literally, figuratively, and spiritually.) I had huge plans for us to move 20 miles east and settle in a rustic town next door, but God had been preparing a place for us over 1,000 miles waaaaay east. All along, drawing us closer to Him. And by faith, our hearts have embraced His heart for us. And here we are. January 1, 2014, I sat happily in H-town with big plans for a new big year full of plans, hopes, and expectations. Today, January 1, 2015, I sit happily on The Rocks knowing God has big plans for a new big year, to accomplish whatever it is He has planned for me. 


Wherever God is, there is our perfect peace. His heart is our home. I am reminded that God has a plan bigger than me and is able to immeasurable more than I can imagine, and despite my fears, He is a faithful, gentle, patient and loving Father. There is no other place I would rather be than wherever He is. Christ is my Home. Christ is my decision maker. God is my heart's joy and contentment. This year, may you find your heart and home in Christ alone. Whatever you have planned, remember, but God.

Happy and Blessed New Years 2015!!! Thanks for being a part of my journey here on my blog! By Grace, Michele

HUGS!!!!!

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