When your loved one is suffering. Part One.

Do you have a loved one suffering with panic and anxiety attacks? I am betting that if you do, you are having a hard time understanding what they are going through and don't understand why it won't stop, why they say they think they might die. I know. That was my poor husband as I walked those scary and painful moments in 2008-2009. Honestly, your loved one who is suffering this heartache is asking themselves the same things. They don't get it either. 

As difficult as it has been to share my testimony and experiences with others, my spirit wants to testify to the goodness and sweetness of the Lord. In His grace, I found healing and the truest of love and kindness, and mighty, mighty power. But it took going through those dark days to see such pure Light. God's Word is full of testimonies of God's grace, provision and protection. I found such comfort being back in His Word, alive and active it is!! I felt less alone when I read the perils of Job and Paul and so many others. 

This is exactly why I began blogging and writing: to share and encourage. Yes, it's hard to visit those terrors but the hope to encourage and even save a life overshadows and uplifts me right over that pit of despair onto the wings of an eagle, soaring above defeat, shame and embarrassment. God has crossed my paths over the years with sweet Believers who have fallen into the same pits whom we have been able to share each other's journey, many in the middle of a valley. What a joy to celebrate hope and healing in Jesus Name together.

When I am sitting with the person in anguish, we speak the same language and as much as we get it, we don't get it. I liken it to listening to my teen speak calculus or when my husband it calling sports plays. I just don't understand their lingo. It's the same here. Until you have walked in the same shoes, it's a struggle to get it. 

We are able to feel what the other feels and understand the depths of it all, physically, emotionally and spiritually. But, when I find myself sitting with the loved one, they really don't get it. The look in their eyes was the same bewilderment my husband had with me many years back. He just didn't understand what it felt like to be in my body. 

He couldn't understand when I shut down or quickly fled situations, why I was so exhausted, why I couldn't handle loud noises and big crowds. One of the most painful stings to the heart is the look of weirdness, puzzlement, judgement, nervousness in your loved one's eyes looking back at you in your moment of fear. 

These were the moments "fake it till you make it" were necessary, just to avoid that look. To avoid the pain it pressed like a sword into the depth of me. It slayed me, reminding me of how crazy I was, shame flooding every part of my soul. And if this loved one who had my back looked at my like this and couldn't understand what I was experiencing, how could anyone else, and how much deeper would their look slash my soul? So, we hide, mask and protect. 

Thankfully, the Lord heard my cries and sent me rescue and all the while, I prayed for my husband to have compassion and understanding. He was one of my first subscribers to the blog, learning more about my experience than I was able to verbalize. Also, we had 4 kids running around the house and it wasn't something we just called out and spoke about. I wanted to continue on as normal and stable, conquering and hopeful, calm and collected as a true perfectionist and encourager personality. 

Over time, through healing helps of Christian counseling, natural remedies of essential oils and vitamins, Scripture memory work and meditation, a deep and purposeful prayer life, worshiping without wondering, letting go of perfectionism, accountability of a few trustworthy Sisters in Christ, re-prioritizing my life and schedule, addressing how I was (not) taking care of my body, mind and spirit. All these combined together for the help and healing, overcoming and conquering I experienced against fear. To God be all the power, and glory!

Recently, several loved ones have approached me about my journey, asking for help in dealing with their loved one suffering in anguish. With all my writings focused on the anguished person, I thought I would write to the loved one because I know as many who suffer with panic and anxiety attacks, there are that many more loved ones trying to understand them and help them. 

Lord knows you need the same help, love, hope and encouragement as you deal with the heartache and confusion in dealing with your loved one's current battle. So, in the next blog, I will share with you a few simple helps from my own personal experience in hopes to encourage each person touched by these attacks in compassion and hope.

Meanwhile, meditate and believe on Jeremiah 29:11-13, 

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

 Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will hear you.

You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart."

To God be all our glory, help, hope and praise, amen.

Click Here for When your loved one is suffering. Part Two.