A One Year Reflection of the Day God Opened the Door to The Keys

One year ago today....July 4th weekend of 2014. The weekend God moved us in our spirits. Literally. 

God had stirred our hearts for a few years about making a move. We began anxiously and casually looking around our community for a new house. Beginning with a neighboring community with acreage and the possibility for enough land for horses. Off and on for a year, we looked with open hearts and minds. 

Summer 2014 came and we were facing the oldest's last year of high school. We only had a few months to make a move and take on a little "adventure" as a family of 6. And yes, we thought moving 20-30 minutes away was an adventure. But nothing felt right. Doors only closed and we never had peace about any of the houses or areas we looked at. 

We prayed that if that if God wanted us to dare to trust bigger, we were willing. Sure enough, we both knew He was calling us to uproot bigger, we just didn't know where He would lead, but we were ready and willing for one year!

We already had our annual plans for New Braunfels which is a home away from home with dear friends who are like family. We LOVE it there! We both felt a prompting, "What if it's NB?!? How amazing, but scary." It would be a huge move in our minds to be 3 hours from Houston. We had to keep reminding ourselves it was just for a year's time. 

We felt the shift we were being called on to the water, which was weird because we had been searching for acreage for horses. In the meantime, I began cleaning out "the closets" and the garage, and under the beds, and more closets...3800 sq feet of space! 

With great anticipation about New Braunfels, we prayed for God to confirm it if it was where He was leading us and open every door, close every door not meant for us. We were hopeful for His Yes because it was still close enough to family and work, just a few hours drive away. We pulled out the laptops and looked for one year leases and made appointments to go look at houses. 

The first one was scheduled for the hour we were to arrive, and the relator called us an hour before we arrived and told us the people decided to stay, closed door....and the other appointment cancelled their showing, closed door. Ummm....okay. So, God had other plans. We drove around the neighborhood and wandered if it was a By Owner kind of thing, but we never felt it or saw it.

We were still excited to see where He would lead us. We enjoyed this annual get together with life-long friends who are like family, played on the water and were awed by the awesome firework display just as we had been years before. It was a special weekend, but it wasn't our new home. We prayed hoping it would be since it was a place we had talked about for many years, but God did not confirm it to us.

Our last morning there, sipping coffee on the back porch, sad the Lord had not been more clear, my hubby said to me, "I think God is calling us to the Florida Keys." I laughed....rolled my eyes...and said "Whatever." "No really" he says. I replied clearly, "No.way!" There was no way I wanted to go that far off the mainland, Hello Hurricane Central. I didn't want to go to the Islands of Party (I assumed) which surely had no churches and talk about driving distance...too far of a drive at 24 hours the last time we drove it years previous. 

no.way.

My husband was sure there had to be churches there and if there weren't, maybe God would call us there for that reason to start one. My word. I walked away, scared he was serious and hoping he was seriously joking. In years past he had joked about living on an island and be missionaries because he'd had a bad week at work or felt overwhelmed and really just needed a beach vacation! 

I kept my No firm all morning until he said those words, "Will you promise to pray about it?" He just had to ask....he knew I would. Well, I did that night. I woke up that morning and to my total and unbelievable surprise, I felt a sense of peace and anticipation. Deep down, I was hoping it wasn't so but felt it could be, but I figured God was just testing my faith and willingness. Yes, I was willing. No, I didn't want to. NB was just enough of a big move, a grand adventure for this girl! 

Well, all the doors closed there in NB. We prayed and prayed hoping God would confirm NB while we were there but He didn't. On our way home, my hubby gave me that look, you already know where we are going. Trying not to think about it, I mean really, The Keys, so far away?!?! It didn't make sense. 

So we tossed around other "far away" destinations we would want to live and our hearts kept showing us closed doors to the ideas and pulled us back to going to The Keys, open door every time we prayed. It was kinda fun to consider but it would also mean huge sacrifices too, like being away from family, possibly having to find another job if his boss didn't allow him to work remotely, being away from our comfort zone of amazing friends and a wonderful, supportive church family where we had led for 12 years. It was a big testing of our faith and made us pray hard! It sounds funny and obvious I guess to the outsider, but to people who are the "drive it till it breaks, stay where you are, comfort zone, very active in church leadership kind of people," it was huge to move far off, even if it might be to a beautiful destination like beach or mountains.

The following week, we booked airline tickets and made our way there so we could pray with our feet on the ground and take inventory of the area in view of raising a family there and to confirm if we were hearing Him right. It was still mind blowing to think so. Where was the ram in the bush?!? Believe me, I was looking! While God has softened my heart and replaced the fear with joy, in my head, I still wouldn't choose to be there.

God was beyond gracious to give us sign after sign after sign...even in NB. Devotionals we did with our friends pointed us there. Sooo many open doors...Our Bible study lesson pointed us there in Acts 16. Sermons pointed us there. And check out the sign at the restaurant we were eating at while in New Braunfels...Find your beach! 

Needless to say, God did call us here. One day I will write out all the "signs" but for now, what a journey to reflect on. What a grand adventure for sure! We were scared yet excited, more fearful for me but I was able to say yes by faith. We packed up our house of 11 years (had it rented within the first week on the market! Sign!) and The Dickerson 6 were here August 2nd, 2014.

Time has flown!!!! This has a been an amazing year with so many blessings! We have grown in our faith so much and our family has grown closer together. The impacts on us are beyond all that we can imagine. In one more month, we will be driving our oldest son back to attend college in Texas and we will return back here to our one more year home in The Keys. 

We are so excited to continue our adventure here even though it will be harder with our first son moving out, and away, 24hrs, 1200 miles away, back to the place we have called home our whole adult life! This year was what we all needed, for such a time as this.

I know God has a plan and will once again, supply grace and peace as He has for every step so far. I am counting on it, by faith! We are so thankful for our super supportive family and friends who journeyed the fear, shock and excitement with us, backing us up in prayer and love and for those who He has crossed our paths here with people who welcome us with open hearts and homes! 

People ask us how long till we go back to Texas and honestly, we don't know. Last year at this time, we never could have imagined being here, so it's hard to know what God has planned. But what we do know, is that we are here another year and will pray fervently every year for His direction for our next one. It may be one more year and back to Texas, or another state, or maybe this will be home for the next 60 years. We don't know. 

Wherever He leads is where we want to be. It's truly where faith is! I guess it's how we should be living every day anyway. By faith, with intentionality to serve God and enjoy life, living each day to its fullest, where He calls us, for however long He calls us. 

How about you!?! Are you willing to walk through His open doors? What if He's asking you to Find your "beach!" You never know, it might be right out your back window and you are already there but are you living life with open doors on your beach?! And perhaps you have been running from the open door...let me encourage you to walk towards it by faith! I know its scary but I promise you it will bring you joy if it's a door God has opened! 

Wherever you are, live it fully!!! By Faith!

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.

 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 

do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Philippians 4:4-8 ESV

"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

 To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen." Philippians 4:19-20 ESV

Not just a Cheerleader

Sharing this entry from my journal in 2009 after a frightening, life changing, heart wrenching season of panic and anxiety attacks. It's tough to go back and remember the depths of some pits we have found ourselves in, but the take away is HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!!! He redeems us from the pit! I pray you will read this, not seeing my pit, but seeing the Faithful, Amazing God who rescued me!! He can rescue you too!! I am so thankful for this blog community and the freedom we have in Christ, and in America to share our testimonies of faith!!! In God I trust!!!! Blessings in Freedom, Michele

"It was in these past 12 months that I realized the importance of the gift of encouragement. I never really thought it was important, in comparison to the gift of teaching, prophesy, evangelism, etc. What does "being positive" do for the Kingdom of God? It's something every person should be by nature. We should all have hope, look for the best in other people and circumstances and always look up...so, how is that a gift when everyone has it? At least a person with the gift of evangelism saves people, forever changing their eternal soul. A person who has the gift of teaching, disciples and grows the heart, soul and mind of another, teaching the very Words of God. Soooo, I am supposed to feel important saying, "Wooohoo!!! You got this! Keep going! God loves you! He is with you! Don't give up! Seek Him and find Him!!" ??? Well, yes! It's so much more than "cheering" someone on.

        When you are in the depths of hell on earth, when you feel like giving up and quitting on this thing called life…you cannot image one more hour and sometimes...one more breath. These words of Job were mine,"Job continued his discourse: "How I long for the months gone by, for the days when God watched over me, when His lamp shone upon my head and by His light I walked through darkness! Oh, for the days when I was in my prime, when God's intimate friendship blessed my house." Job 29:1-4 NIV. " "At this my heart pounds and leaps from its place." Job 37:1 NIV.  (I can't help but wonder if both Job and Paul knew exactly what a heart palpitation was!!)
        Then refreshment comes. That one hug…that one message from a friend, (prompted by the Holy Spirit no doubt,) saying “Hello, I am here, just thinking of you,” or the reminder "Jesus loves you, He sees you, He is with you even when you aren't feeling Him, trust Him," "this too shall pass," the timely message on the radio or specific Word to you in a sermon translated in Spirit, cutting straight to your marrow...it is Light in your darkness. It is the breath of Life. It's the next breath you breath. It's the energy to take on one more hour, and then a day, and then a week. Immeasurable is the blessing of the encouragement of God gifted to a broken heart, mind and soul. It was refreshment to my dry and weary bones. 

"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for You, my body longs for You, in a dry and weary land where there is no water." Psalm 63:1 NIV

Knowing how much even the tiniest kind gesture meant to me, I will never minimize again the power of an encouraging word or scripture to another. We all have our bad days and seasons. Only God knows the depths of our thoughts, so it is crucial we pay close attention to the leading and directing of the Holy Spirit to speak life into another’s soul, for you may be the rescue God is sending in their moment of great need. I thank God daily, even now, for those lifesavers God sent me. They are part of God’s fingerprints impressed upon my heart and spirit. Oh God, bless them tenfold!"

Never minimize the gift's of God. They are Kingdom enhancers, life changers, they are the instruments of power from God here on this side of Heaven. In my healing process, it took the gifting of many to bring me out of the pit, to teach me who I was and where my strength would come from, to teach me who God was and is Eternally, Here, Now and in Every Tomorrow. They taught me how to seek first the Kingdom of God, trust His ways, and how to rest and be still my soul. It took encouragers to walk alongside me to not give up and keep me looking forward and up when my eyes were downcast or so full of tears and fears that I couldn't see the next step in front of me. 

They were more than cheerleaders (as I had always seen myself). It's soooo much more. With the leading and enabling of the power of the Holy Spirit, they were the bumper guards of my life. They were the bungie that brought me back to solid ground when I fell. They were the truth speakers reminding me who I said my trust was in, that tomorrow had new mercies, and that God had already conquered this current darkness and I was more than a conquerer in Him! (Romans 8). How precious and important The Body of Christ!!! Never, ever hesitate to be used by Him. You may save someone's life and the domino affect of saving just one is huge! Restoring one can restore generations to come. Besides, it's one of the most amazing experiences to be an instrument of grace for another. You don't have to be a super-saint or trained seminary student to be used by God. He has given every one of us a gift. So everyone is an instrument! And to a watching world, what a beautiful reflection of the Glory of God! To be examples of God's heart here on earth! His hands and feet! A display of the Redemption, Rescue and Power of the Cross...a Gift of Ultimate Love!! God, please give me the opportunity to be a grace gift encourager to someone else!! Let me always feel Your gentle power to move any mountain in Your Name!! Forgive my laziness and unbelief! I trust You. I need You. I Love You! Bless Your Holy Name, amen."

What is your gifting? Won't you dare to ask God to be used by Him today!? You never know what the power of God can do through you! You never know who's life you will save!

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom.

 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:28-31 NIV

"Hear, O LORD, when I cry aloud; be gracious to me and answer me! You have said, "Seek my face." My heart says to you, "Your face, LORD, do I seek." Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!" Psalm 27:7-8, 14 ESV

Yes Lord, Your face, and Your heart, Lord, do I seek!!! 

Mountain of Fear to Cracks and Gaps

I look back now and wonder how my life could have been different if I would have walked in the freedom of The Cross, being more confident and courageous, taking risks, one willing to fail and face rejection, not only in life, but within relationships with others and especially the Lord!? Oh the pit owned by Woulda, Coulda, and Shoulda. Thank God for the Great I Am! The God of Today! The God of all the Yesterdays!!! New mercies are ours. New opportunities! New spiritual muscles to climb of Will, Can and Should to climb out of any pit we fall into!!

Over the years, the fear of rejection (from God and others) built a mountain-sized wall, rock by rock, around my heart that allowed my heart to control the flow, pouring outward, not inward. I knew how insecure, anxious, inadequate and unintelligent I was on the inside. I couldn't let anyone know how "empty" I was on the inside. Receiving any sort of recognition or praise, and even help from others felt wrong to me. If they only knew I didn't deserve it. And I wanted to be the one helping. It’s like taking the 1st Place trophy when you clearly came in 4th Place. It wasn’t right. I had a very pure heart with a genuine honesty that I absolutely could not take something that someone else deserved more, especially knowing I did not. So, the walls slowly built. Walls of pride and perfection that said, Here I am whole-heartedly...however, it's a one-way road. Picture a volcano. The stuff comes out but nothing comes in. Constantly flowing outward, nothing comes back up the mountain. It had been established there with rocky façade to make sure no one could climb in. Sure, I wanted love to come in, I am a heart-felt person, but I was afraid. Afraid they would see I didn’t deserve their friendship or gift. Fear they would see I was actually nothing, a nobody. Fear they would betray me. Fear they would make fun of me. Fear became my Protector. It was my constant Security Guard controlling the world around me. No one was permitted beyond a certain point. Satan fed me the lie that to honor God well, I had to reflect God in His perfection, sacrifice self, deny myself. He has been clever at distorting the truths of God since the beginning of time.

I prayed for the opportunity to meet others where they were and encourage them, however, no one was allowed to join me where I was. I remember when my parents announced they were getting a divorce the summer of my Sophomore year in high school, and I zipped up my upper lip, got in my car, and got busy. I stayed busy with school work and dance team. I could be found at the church every second the door was open, playing volleyball or cleaning, helping others do whatever they needed, all to keep busy. I was most certainly devastated but I didn't show it. After time, I didn't see it anymore. It was buried in lava. I remained strong and available for everyone else, and for me. They would know how strong I was if I kept smiling and it would then prove my emotional and spiritual maturity. And, I could appear "just fine" to be there to encourage them in their time of need. Oh how backwards I was!!!

 Even as I have this conversation with you, I am praying God strengthens me to be transparent in my heart's thoughts, feelings and attitudes. As heart-driven of a person I am, I still struggle with fear, even though it is to a much lesser degree than in years past. Praise The Lord!! While I am shy by nature, fear is a thorn in my side, a scar on my soul, a pit in a tiny corner of my heart. It's a wound only the pure Grace of God can heal. Walls have been built and set for many, many years. They were built high and wide to protect and block pain from entering in. I felt protected, safe and self-sufficient behind my walls. They were thick. This may not have been the healthiest way for me to avoid pain but it was the easiest.

Everyone else seemed to be bold and courageous, strong and beautiful. It just wasn’t me. I had settled into the shy girl role and was fine right there. Eventually, I also settled into the ditzy-blonde girl role given to me, accepting all the dumb blonde jokes and their implications. In the 90’s it was not easy being blonde. You either had to bounce around bubbly-dumb or spend a lot of time and energy proving people wrong which is what I attempted. Although I will admit, I never was the smartest girl in the room, I still wasn’t dumb! Over the years, I simply asked God, my very Best Friend, to fill my void of intimacy and sustain me. To be clear, God should be our most intimate relationship. He should be the One who fills our heart and spirit. I am referring to when we reject other genuine relationships. 

Surrounded by people all the time, it was such an internally lonely existence and yet all the while I was being fooled by feeling God-honoring, righteous and purposeful, that my feelings didn’t really matter, I was all about ministering to others, others needed love, joy, hope and encouragement. Not me. Besides, I had Jesus as my BFF and that’s all I needed. And, if I wanted Him to stay close to me and not leave me, because then I would really be alone, I needed to do right, act right and be selfless. Jesus is Grace! I thought grace was for everyone else, something you could earn, something you could get, something you deserved. Wrong! Grace is a gift! Jesus is Grace!

God desires us to rely on Him, trusting His judgement over our own, as we live in community with each other. God places specific people in our life to bring us closer to Him, be it us giving into their life or us receiving from them. Not every relationship will look the same and neither will it have the same dynamic as others. We cannot fully know why God brings certain people into our lives but one thing we can know, that He is in control and works all things out for our good and His glory. 

I have some friends who I think it’s a no-brainer we are friends with so much in common and just enough differences that they are a healthy sharpening, “as iron sharpens iron.” Proverbs 27:17. We need each other to grow. Then there are those “uncommon” friends who you wonder what you could possibly have in common and then all you see is God between you! We need each other to grow. Sadly, others hurt us in such a way that we learn harder life lessons, finding joy, peace, comfort and strength through sorrow, betrayal, hurts and loss. We need each other to grow. Every person touches us one way or another. We need each other to grow, and glorify the Father. What a shame to keep all the good ones out just to avoid the few painful ones. And to miss all those blessings and growth?!? We need each other! Remember, His way, His time, His glory! Our faith needs to be in the One who is ruler of this world and the spiritual world. He knows and sees everything! He is the Author of Life, beginning to end! 

Since God's rebuilding of my heart to look and function more like His, I can say that He has been sooo gracious to take down those jagged lava stones one at a time. Evidently I wasn't moving at the pace God wanted me to, so He blessed my boots off with a few Rock Climbing Sisters who relentlessly climbed on over my heavily guarded rocks! The change of Guard finally happened and My Rock replaced My Fear. Till this day, God stands guarding my heart and I know that He will only allow in what He knows to be for my good and His glory. I trust Him.

 Oh, how I wish I would have lived a life of greater trust, faith and obedience before now. And honestly, how I pray I always will. I hope I do. I plan to. I wonder how many times blessings passed me by over the years?! How often that “cool” thing could have been an “awesome” thing? I had become deceived that my feelings didn’t matter. Why did I think that? Why were my needs any less of a concern or importance than any one else’s? I believed the lies that I wasn’t good enough, others had it worse than me, I needed to be strong and prove my faith. With God by my side, surely I ought to be just fine...He is my strength, right? He is my joy, right? Yes, but those are grace enabling attributes because of The Power of The Cross. Not because I was strong or good enough. All God, none of me! 

Ministering seemed to be a way for me to compensate for my inadequacy as I tried to prove my perfection as I helped others be “perfect” and feel loved and valued. They are so precious, imagine what God could do through them if they would just know how valuable and capable they were. When I got honest with myself, I realized it was true. I hid behind all my doings, keeping busy with others, using my gifts of compassion and encouragement, which distracted me from my own issues, plus I thought I was honoring God with my gifts and my heart, "considering others better than myself." 

I guess I knew what inadequacy felt like and I didn’t want others to feel that way too. I knew how cowardly I felt and I wanted others to feel courageous and strong. My imperfect self would help others feel perfect and special. If you could see me right now, shaking my head. Writing those words down, I just cringe, shaking a spiritual fist at my younger self! Back then, my way of thinking made perfect sense in my head, but on paper, and now looking back, what twisted truths crafted into lies, molded straight from the pit of darkness. Everyone else deserves (blank) more than me. Their needs were greater. They were more worthy and had more potential to go further and I would help them do it, praying over them, doing life and Bible study with their interest and soul in mind. Never mind me. I was fine with Jesus as my BFF. What more did I need!?! Grace! That's what I needed! And eventually a holy spanking to knock that non-sense outa me!  

Becoming a Mom only made matters worse! The "suck it up" part of parenting kicks in, the "lead by example" pressure is high. Following all the world's expectations of raising a "law abiding citizen with manners and a perfect outfit"...my wanting a perfect life just got harder....the fears, lies, hopes, and expectations only rooted deeper. 

Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda…here I am now and there is absolutely nothing any of us can do to change the paths that have already been walked. We can, however, choose today, to take a new path! Thank God we can begin a new direction on the road of forgiveness, grace and redemption! Praise God for His mercies that are new each and every morning! So, how am I different now? I am still shy at heart, that's just how God molded me in my demeanor, but I am not hidden or afraid. I acknowledge my gift of encouragement from the Lord and I walk in His strength and abilities to do it as I always have, however, I don't hide behind my own hurts, insecurities and failures in order to love on others. It is because of my own hurts that I can understand theirs. I pray my imperfections highlight the perfection of a Saving God! Through all my cracks and gaps, I pray others see Jesus. If they judge me, hurt me, betray me, belittle me, I trust the Guard of my heart to take care of them on my behalf! And He will take care of me just as He promises He will. Thank You Lord for my perfectly imperfect life!!! 

May I take a moment and tell you how precious you are to the Lord?! You may not feel precious in your life and you may be desperate for validation and assurance that you are worthy of Grace. Let me tell you, from someone who wondered the same things, YES! Yes, you already are. Even in your mistakes. Even in the midst of crisis. Even when you make poor choices. Even when your heart wrongfully is led by pride, perfection and even a twisted truth of righteousness. You are deeply, unconditionally, loved and Grace can set you free if you will just climb out of your pit, or off your mountain, whichever place you find yourself!! Dig out of there and into The Word of God. You will not know the lies until you know The Truth. Read it for the sake of wisdom and discernment but for the sake of grace, be truth and love to yourself and others! He knows your heart. He gave it to you!! 

 "So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in Him, "If you abide in My word, you are truly My disciples, 

and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." 

John 8:31-32 ESV.

“Lord, thank You for Your faithfulness to see me through my immature and selfish, fearful days. Create in me a clean heart O Lord, day after day. Grant me renewed boldness, honesty and spirit led determination to work out my salvation to bring You glory.  May You always be the Guard over my heart, my soul and my mind that fear will have no room. God, I still ask you to completely remove the thorn in me that I would be fully free. I know I am nothing and I am undeserving of Your amazing grace gift, but Lord, I accept it and thank You with a humble heart who's eyes are set on You! I acknowledge my imperfections Lord and am so grateful that You certainly are my strength, all I need! May others see the image of Your beauty within me. It is my desire that You so fill me up that all others can see is You. Consume me from the inside out. Burn away all the lies and saturate me with Your truth! Remind us in our weak moments Lord that You are near. Thank You for sending Rock Climbers into our lives to reach our core. Help us to encourage each other from genuine hearts that are open and honest too. May we never seem perfect to others but rather, help them to see the You, the only Perfect One!!  “Better is one day in Your house than thousands others!” Psalm 94:10 Amen!

“Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to Your love remember me, for You are good, O Lord.” Psalms 25:4-7

The Two Key Lime Trees

For the past 10 months, the place we leased spoiled us with the most beautiful and plentiful Key Limes! We enjoyed making key lime pies and cherry limeades every week! Seriously spoiled! Then, we moved to a new house which also had a Key Lime tree. But the poor thing, it is pitiful. 

The New (old) Key Lime Tree

Today, I spent time working in the yard, pruning up some overgrown trees and the lime tree was the first one I started with. It has apparently been a long time since the lime tree had any attention. It was all over the place with tons of sprigs and lots of tiny little limes amongst the sparse wimpy leaves. It was pitiful and in need of a good ol pruning. It looks horrible right now but I know that soon enough it will be blossoming and full. Some of the branches were even dry rotted and I am a little worried about the overall health of the tree. Time will tell. 
It's not really fair to compare the 2 trees. Yes, they were both key lime trees, but there is no comparison when it comes to the fruit. They came from 2 different lots with 2 different owners, one hands off and the other hands on. There's no way my new tree will ever be as beautiful as the other tree because they have grown up in different ways. I can really only hope that with care and attention, my new (old) lime tree will regain it's strength, endure it's brokenness and revive itself. While it is producing marble size key limes now, I pray that it will one day produce what I know it is capable of growing. My only comparison will be against what it used to be, the old vs. the new, how much it has grown since it's pruning. It wouldn't be right to compare one tree to another, but only to it's own potential of bearing the best fruit possible within it's own soil. 
We do this with people too. We are so easily caught up in comparing one to another when really, we ought to be concerned with our own fruit producing possibilities. How wonderful the fruitfulness of the other, to God be all the glory. But how about your own? Are you the healthiest you can be? Are you rotting from the inside out where no one else can see? Are you producing just enough fruit to look rooted and mature, however, it's just enough to barely be alive? Imagine if you pruned out the dead, rotten branches, fertilized your soil, soaked in Living Water and opened up your branches to absorb more Son? Imagine the possibilities?! Marble size fruit becomes golf ball sized! What a blessing to the rest of the Garden of Life-giving fruit! How spoiling to the Master Gardner! What sweet aromas!

Lord, help me to keep my eyes centered on You alone and not on others around me. When I compare myself to them, even though I know I shouldn't, I feel so inadequate. I see all their fruit and mine doesn't look the same. I know we are all grown in our own ways and none of us look the same but I can't help but desire to have fruit like theirs. I know I can't compare apples to oranges but it's tempting to compare similar fruits and I find myself coveting theirs in comparison. Help me, Lord, to not look towards them rather help me look to my Gardener and stay focused on my own soil, my own tree, my own fruit. I want nothing more than to be a pleasing aroma to You alone, abiding in Your love and care, producing for You a sweet aroma that pleases your heart. Lead me beside still waters, into greener pastures, shielded by the clefts. Remove from within me all that hinders my growth in Your Kingdom Garden. Cleanse me, restore me, grow me, humble me, focus me, protect me, strengthen me in my weakness. Complete Your work in me and through me for the sake of Your glory. I know that one day I will no longer bear fruit but it will be my seeds that remain. Establish all that my heart and soul have sewn in Your mighty Name, Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Bless Your Beautiful and Bountiful Name, amen. 

"And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6 ESV.
My hope is in You.

"And all the trees of the field shall know that I am the LORD; I bring low the high tree, and make high the low tree, dry up the green tree, and make the dry tree flourish. I am the LORD; I have spoken, and I will do it." Ezekiel 17:24 ESV.
I believe in You.

"By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love." John 15:8-9 ESV.
I need You.

"But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of Him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing," 2 Corinthians 2:14-15 ESV.
I am Yours. You are mine.

"Restore us, O LORD God Almighty; make your face shine upon us, that we may be saved." Psalm 80:19 NIV.
You save me.

Words Beyond My Voice

A Letter to My Child as you enter into the real world, 

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV) 
"Be strong, and show yourself a man, and keep the charge of the LORD your God, walking in His ways and keeping His statutes, His commandments, His rules, and His testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn," 1 Kings 2:2-3 (ESV)

"Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses." 1 Timothy 6:6-12

"So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God, for whoever has entered God's rest has also rested from his works as God did from His. Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, so that no one may fall by the same sort of disobedience. For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.

Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:9-16

"Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:31-34 (ESV)

"And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophecies, but test everything; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil. 

Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:14-24 (ESV)
"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of His glory He may grant you to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith--that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. 

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:14-21 (ESV)

Keep your eyes and heart on Him!!! I have done my best to set a good example to you of a life lived believing by faith in which God is the center and all of my life and the life of our family, but I am not perfect, and I have failed many times. But God is always perfect and holy, blameless and loving, fair and just. Set your eyes on Him alone. Strive after Him. Follow His leading and He will lead you into rightness and redemption. 
May these Words, His Words, never, ever leave your heart! Even after I am gone and you can't hear my voice, the voice of your Eternal Father will always lead and love you right where you are. Cling close and hold tight. Trust and listen. Obey and Live!!!! Beyond my voice, I love you, Mom

On Your Own

As we counted down to the high school graduation of our oldest, I kept asking myself, "Did I teach him everything he needs to know to live a blessed life...on his own?" "Did I remember to teach him all the short cuts and proper procedures to clean a home or prepare a meal...on his own?" "When he gets overwhelmed with a new school, schedule, tests, friends, life...will he know what to do....on his own?"
For a moment, guilt and disappointment flooded my Mama's soul. All the "woulda, shoulda, couldas" for raising him up to live a blessed, pure, healthy and joy-filled life, on his own, rose like a river inside me. But, there was no more time. The past few weeks, I found myself calling him to the kitchen when I was cooking, "Do you know how to make this (meal)...on your own?" "Do you know what to do with the grease?" And as I did laundry, "Do you know how to soak for the whites...on your own?" "Do you know how to get these red baseball dirt out of these whites? Well, good luck, I don't either...let me know if you ever do....on your own!?" (Laughing!!!) In the bathrooms, "Do you know the most efficient way to disinfect and clean in here...on your own?" "Remember, it unrolls from the TOP!" Helping him get registered for school, "Here is how you approach someone when you need help and have questions...on your own." And in all the little moments, "Enjoy yourself. Smile. Say thank you. Hold the doors for others. Respect yourself and others always. Be kind and patient. Waiting is better than rushing. Honor God in all you say, think and do. Encourage, don't destroy. Plan ahead. Be ready. Do all you can and let God do the rest. Do not be anxious. "
And there was the ping in my heart...Do all you can and let God do the rest. Do not be anxious. As I live my life as a Mom, and as a Follower of Christ, I won't be perfect, I won't get it all done, I will forget...on my own. But with The Great I Am with me, I am never on my own. For as long as the Lord allows me to have breath on this earth, I am a text , Skype, email, letter, FaceTime away from my son. I am here for him but it's too late now to have a Life Cram Session. It is what it is and now I must believe and pray that God would bless and multiply all my intentions, prayers, teachings and love as I join with His ultimate plan, purpose and grace of the life my big boy will live...on his own. And the truth is, because he too is a follower of Christ, he may be on his own, but he is never alone. God is near.
The saying goes, "Your rearview mirror is smaller than your front windshield for a reason...you spend more time looking forward, looking where you are going, seeing dangers and turns before you than you ought to spend on the rare occasion you need to check what is behind you." There's only so much you can do to be ready for whatever it is you are facing in your day, or your life. We are all facing our "graduation" from this earth to eternal life, from one season in life to another. Are you ready? Sure, you can have a Life Cram Session and you will find yourself panicking and freaking out, feeling overwhelmed and there may be a small amount of joy, strength and task accomplished. But imagine if you lived out each day, preparing, ready for your next day? The daily joy, strength, hope, the confidence and assurance you lived out each day, not perfectly, but imperfectly perfect, as the Lord led you?! What peace, joy and freedom rather than guilt, panic, worry and shame, of a life lived fully and faithfully.
When I suddenly found myself "graduated" into my next season, it wasn't a time of celebration. It was a time of panic. Panic and anxiety attacks became my new normal. It was terrifying. I found I wasn't ready to face this...on my own. I was desperate for a Life Cram Session and was knocked off my feet as the seemingly life rug was pulled out from under me. Thank the Lord in His mercy and grace, He had ready to catch me, some deeply rooted women with foundations strong enough to carry my new found burden. I scrambled. I panicked. I wasn't ready. It was a hard lesson to learn, but one most certainly learned! I learned to Be ready before trials come because you won't know until it's upon you. His Word became my Daily Bread. I now knew what quenching thirst meant. He was my satisfying Living Water. I understand trusting faith. I believe when I cannot see. I trust what I don't understand. I don't have to know, see, hear and feel. Now, I lean on the One who knows all things, hears all things, plans and prospers all things. He knows what I feel and He is near. I learned even though I felt incredibly alone, I wasn't. Panic was overcome by prayer, petition and praise! I thank God for "graduating" me from glory to glory!
My prayer for my children, as well as for myself, is a life lived rejoicing and not regretting. Planning, not procrastinating. Hoping, not hurting. Serving, not selfish. Strong and courageous, not fearful or anxious. Trusting Faith, not fear of failure.
What a wonderful reminder that life is short and to live every day to it's fullest, to the glory of God! Ask, seek, knock and you will find The Savior's open door to you, hoping you will come and sit with Him as you live one day at a time. You may feel alone some days, but you are never alone Child. Your Heavenly Father is a prayer away. Embrace Him daily, learning and loving, soaking up every moment. No body can do that for you, or your child. That, you must do...on your own.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV)

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. 

Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 

What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me--practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:6-9 (ESV)

"Be strong, and show yourself a man, and keep the charge of the LORD your God, walking in his ways and keeping his statutes, his commandments, his rules, and his testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn,"1 Kings 2:2-3 (ESV)

"Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness.
Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses." 1 Timothy 6:6-12

"For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:12-16

"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father,  from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith--that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. 

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:14-21 (ESV)

Home Sweet Home

Wow, how time flies! I cannot believe 2015 has already passed the half way mark! Soon, stores will start bringing out their Christmas in July sales! Yikes!!! Where has the time gone?!?
I don't really have a formal devotional blog to send out today. I have met so many new people over the recent months and have given out my blog address as a source of meeting me and hopefully being encouraged by a post or two. Welcome and Happy Summer!!!! So, I thought I would at least pop in to say Hello real quick! I have many drafts written but have not had time to edit or post them. Even island life is busy! 
We have been crazy busy with all of the end of year kid events, most significantly, the graduation of our Senior from high school! The love and support of family and friends have been mind-blowing. It's crazy to think the kids completed their one year of schooling here in The Keys as was our original call to move here for one year. I mentioned to the kids that their last day of school here was done and we would be returning to Texas in 6 weeks (if we were planning on going back) and each one gave a dreadful "noooooo.....! We don't wanna leave yet!!!" Just another affirmation of our call.

While we surely have missed our friends, family and church, God has also blessed us here with His goodness and grace. We have seen clearly the call to come and now clearly see the call to stay. We don't know for how long. We sincerely want to be right where God wants us because it is only when we are in the center of HIS will and plan that we will experience perfect peace and joy. We had it in Texas and we have it here too. Home is wherever God dwells. That's our perfect happy place! 
I have had people ask me if I felt closer to God here in this tropical paradise and the answer is No. Location, circumstances or surroundings may enhance the awe of creation which gives me a glimpse into the aweness of The Creator but His hands created everything and His breath of life can be found anywhere. I find the heart of God in every zip code!! I am only as close to God as I am to feeling His breath over me, His arms carrying me, His whispers leading me, His strength empowering me, His Word cutting to my marrow. Just as in any relationship, the more time you spend together, the closer you will know them, love them and trust them. Same with God!
Truthfully, I "felt" closer to Him in Texas. There, I was deeply involved in church, mentoring and being mentored, living life with deep rooted Sisters in Christ, sat under the teaching of a zealous Bible teaching woman of God week after week, was led by an outspoken, truth in love preaching Pastor amongst a flock of Believers who's undercurrent was serving on mission wherever they went with pure intentions and focused intentionalities! The hedge of protection around my heart and spirit was deep and wide and long. I was surrounded by The Word and many who were God's very Word to me. While much of their love and prayers reach and cover me here too (love knows no bounds), it's not the same as weekly, in the flesh face time, sharing coffee, walking, studying, praying together. God has been so sweet to bring me to a Bible Study group that loves the Lord purely who's wisdom inspires and challenges me. He has also blessed each of us with some precious friends! Depth simply takes time. Time to grow and be nurtured, strengthened and rooted into deeper grounds.
We knew our move here was a call to be on mission with our main focus on our family of 6, recalibrating, strengthening and purifying our hearts, minds and souls to center on Him so that through His work in us we can serve Him and love Him better and because of that love, serve others better also. 
He has led us to a community church which has embraced us as if we were long lost family, parts of the Body that had been missing. We see our part and look forward to serving alongside them for Kingdom purpose. We know God has led us to them, and them to us. It would be easy to hide and hibernate in our home and simply serve ourselves with the gifts and talents He gave us but as a Follower of Christ, we are all called to live in community, stir each other up, join the Body and mission of The Church to reach the lost, make disciples and encourage the weak and broken-hearted, to mentor the younger and lead The Way as we walk The Way. You can't be a light if you don't plug in to a source of Power!
I know people might say, "Well, I think you've been doing that all along, for years." Yes we have, however, in wrong proportions. We gave so much to the Church and Others, it left remnants of time and energy to our Home Mission Field. We gave all we had and came home to recover. This move has forced us to come back together and recalibrate our eyes and hearts in right portions and priorities. We are certainly not perfect and we are not oozing God's Word as a result of intense family Bible studies or deep theological discussions, but we have been more intentional to align ourselves with being in His will, seeking humbly and fearfully for His plan and purpose for us as individuals, as husband and wife and as a family unit, serving and loving God and others with all our hearts. Just like anyone else, living anywhere else, we struggle and we sin. We complain and covet. We fear and doubt. God is patient and forgiving when we repent and recalibrate, setting our hearts and minds back on His love. 
I don't know what decisions or circumstances you are facing today, but I encourage you to seek first (Matthew 6:33) the heart of God and His God's will for you- knowing He has a plan to prosper you and not harm you (Jeremiah 29:11). It is only when you spend time with Him that His love for you can be felt and seen. No matter where you are, how old you are, how far you are physically, emotionally or spiritually...He is your Home base. Go Home!!!
Thanks for stopping by for a few! I pray you are encouraged as you scroll through my little blog world. It has been an amazing 10 months in the islands and I have met some amazing people here, those from here and those visiting here! I pray you take time to recalibrate your life, refocus, realign your heart and home so that the Creator and Great I Am will be the core and center. Dorothy was right....there really is No Place Like Home! 
Hugs and Blessings, Michele