On Your Own

As we counted down to the high school graduation of our oldest, I kept asking myself, "Did I teach him everything he needs to know to live a blessed life...on his own?" "Did I remember to teach him all the short cuts and proper procedures to clean a home or prepare a meal...on his own?" "When he gets overwhelmed with a new school, schedule, tests, friends, life...will he know what to do....on his own?"
For a moment, guilt and disappointment flooded my Mama's soul. All the "woulda, shoulda, couldas" for raising him up to live a blessed, pure, healthy and joy-filled life, on his own, rose like a river inside me. But, there was no more time. The past few weeks, I found myself calling him to the kitchen when I was cooking, "Do you know how to make this (meal)...on your own?" "Do you know what to do with the grease?" And as I did laundry, "Do you know how to soak for the whites...on your own?" "Do you know how to get these red baseball dirt out of these whites? Well, good luck, I don't either...let me know if you ever do....on your own!?" (Laughing!!!) In the bathrooms, "Do you know the most efficient way to disinfect and clean in here...on your own?" "Remember, it unrolls from the TOP!" Helping him get registered for school, "Here is how you approach someone when you need help and have questions...on your own." And in all the little moments, "Enjoy yourself. Smile. Say thank you. Hold the doors for others. Respect yourself and others always. Be kind and patient. Waiting is better than rushing. Honor God in all you say, think and do. Encourage, don't destroy. Plan ahead. Be ready. Do all you can and let God do the rest. Do not be anxious. "
And there was the ping in my heart...Do all you can and let God do the rest. Do not be anxious. As I live my life as a Mom, and as a Follower of Christ, I won't be perfect, I won't get it all done, I will forget...on my own. But with The Great I Am with me, I am never on my own. For as long as the Lord allows me to have breath on this earth, I am a text , Skype, email, letter, FaceTime away from my son. I am here for him but it's too late now to have a Life Cram Session. It is what it is and now I must believe and pray that God would bless and multiply all my intentions, prayers, teachings and love as I join with His ultimate plan, purpose and grace of the life my big boy will live...on his own. And the truth is, because he too is a follower of Christ, he may be on his own, but he is never alone. God is near.
The saying goes, "Your rearview mirror is smaller than your front windshield for a reason...you spend more time looking forward, looking where you are going, seeing dangers and turns before you than you ought to spend on the rare occasion you need to check what is behind you." There's only so much you can do to be ready for whatever it is you are facing in your day, or your life. We are all facing our "graduation" from this earth to eternal life, from one season in life to another. Are you ready? Sure, you can have a Life Cram Session and you will find yourself panicking and freaking out, feeling overwhelmed and there may be a small amount of joy, strength and task accomplished. But imagine if you lived out each day, preparing, ready for your next day? The daily joy, strength, hope, the confidence and assurance you lived out each day, not perfectly, but imperfectly perfect, as the Lord led you?! What peace, joy and freedom rather than guilt, panic, worry and shame, of a life lived fully and faithfully.
When I suddenly found myself "graduated" into my next season, it wasn't a time of celebration. It was a time of panic. Panic and anxiety attacks became my new normal. It was terrifying. I found I wasn't ready to face this...on my own. I was desperate for a Life Cram Session and was knocked off my feet as the seemingly life rug was pulled out from under me. Thank the Lord in His mercy and grace, He had ready to catch me, some deeply rooted women with foundations strong enough to carry my new found burden. I scrambled. I panicked. I wasn't ready. It was a hard lesson to learn, but one most certainly learned! I learned to Be ready before trials come because you won't know until it's upon you. His Word became my Daily Bread. I now knew what quenching thirst meant. He was my satisfying Living Water. I understand trusting faith. I believe when I cannot see. I trust what I don't understand. I don't have to know, see, hear and feel. Now, I lean on the One who knows all things, hears all things, plans and prospers all things. He knows what I feel and He is near. I learned even though I felt incredibly alone, I wasn't. Panic was overcome by prayer, petition and praise! I thank God for "graduating" me from glory to glory!
My prayer for my children, as well as for myself, is a life lived rejoicing and not regretting. Planning, not procrastinating. Hoping, not hurting. Serving, not selfish. Strong and courageous, not fearful or anxious. Trusting Faith, not fear of failure.
What a wonderful reminder that life is short and to live every day to it's fullest, to the glory of God! Ask, seek, knock and you will find The Savior's open door to you, hoping you will come and sit with Him as you live one day at a time. You may feel alone some days, but you are never alone Child. Your Heavenly Father is a prayer away. Embrace Him daily, learning and loving, soaking up every moment. No body can do that for you, or your child. That, you must do...on your own.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV)

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. 

Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 

What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me--practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:6-9 (ESV)

"Be strong, and show yourself a man, and keep the charge of the LORD your God, walking in his ways and keeping his statutes, his commandments, his rules, and his testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn,"1 Kings 2:2-3 (ESV)

"Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness.
Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses." 1 Timothy 6:6-12

"For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:12-16

"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father,  from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith--that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. 

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:14-21 (ESV)