My Husband the Fork. Me, the Sticks.

Our family just returned from a delightful vacation to our favorite Beach destination, Cozumel. It was wonderful!! Lots of time to relax and be under no demands, yet we did manage to always be doing something. Weird how that works.
One evening we went for Chinese. As usual, I grabbed the chopsticks (I love a good challenge) and my man grabbed the fork (he loves efficiency). Of course, the kids asked why did we use "that and not the same thing."

1.) We are different. 2.) There is more than one way to get the job done.

My Husband is a lot like the fork. He shines in the spotlight. He is strong in will and strength. He likes to be efficient and get the job done quickly (work or play). He is very practical and great for all ages. He can also provide help for any "cuisine."

Me? I am the chopsticks. I'm never in a hurry and I enjoy taking my time but will get the job done with effeciency and appreciate a good, fun challenge. I tend to be strong in will and strength too but have a softer composure.

Is either one better than the other? No. They each have a purpose, and each are made with their own breaking points. Therefore, how can we judge that one is the "right way" vs. the other? The kids were quick to grab the sticks to give it a try, finding joy in doing something different. They were quick to judge the fork-people why they weren't using the sticks. I found myself explaining how God makes each of us with one goal...to know Him and glorify Him and that there is more than one way to do that. We are all equipped to get "the job" done but the way in which we do it, vary.

Praise God that we are not intended to be the same. Praise God that there is only ONE WAY that leads to Salvation but many ways in which we live in honor and thanksgiving, giving thanks to God the Father in Christ Jesus. To each a purpose. To each a mission. There is NO condemnation. There is no judgement. There is no right or wrong.

One God. One Faith. One Body with many parts!! 

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1

"For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another." Romans 12:3-5

"Let love be genuine.

Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 

Love one another with brotherly affection.

Outdo one another in showing honor. 

Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit,serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.   Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.   Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.   Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.  

Live in harmony with one another.

Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly.

Never be wise in your own sight.  

Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.  

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." Romans 12:9-18

Father God, One Lord and Savior of All, I praise You for the diversity of Your Creation. Thank You that I am not made to be like anyone else. Thank You that I can find my identity in You alone. Father, open my eyes to see in me that which is good, practical, special and available to be used by You. I know You have equipped each one of us to fulfill a mission unique to us and that in that uniquness there can be no judegement or condemnation. May You receive all the glory and praise as we walk in Your Name. Help us to have faith enough to walk where, how and when. Shape us and mold us in Your Amazing and Beautiful and Strong Hands. Bless Your Name above All others!!! Amen. 

Silly Me! Yes, I am a dork.

The Rock.

The Heart of God.

My Rock. My Foundation. My Heart. My God.

It amazes me even as I type this that it has been over 4 years in which God rescued my heart, mind and soul from complete destruction. There was a time when the lies of the enemy were so loud and so real. I could hear them. I could feel them deep. You can read through many of the passages throughout God's Word and hear the pleas, groanings, anguish and heartache of God's people. Sin is Sin but pain is not just pain. Just as the medical professions ask you to label your pain on a scale of 1-10, we could easily use the same scale for the pain of our hearts and souls. Some days, weeks or even seasons are identified by a marked "2" on the pain scale, whereas others are an intolerable "11." Yah, I hear you...we have all been there.

"For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself.   Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.   He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many."

II Corinthians 1:8b-11 

God brought into my life a woman who would not only Counsel me out of my pit, but became also a dear Mentor and Sister in Christ, walking with me, teaching me, encouraging me and even daring me to stay out of and away from the pit and remain clinging for dear life on my Lord. Healing was certainly a process and looking back, it came quickly, while I can tell you right then, in the middle of it, it was laborous.

Our family had planned a roadtrip to New Mexico, a favorite family destination but I was not so sure about the trip. Anxiety still had a hold of my hem. In this process of fear to faith, the faith suffocated fear, day by day. Here were were headed on a trip that I wasn't sure I could make. Knowing my anxiety, she gave me a card and prayed for me the day before we left. The card would become very profound in my life. A life treasure not realized yet.

Our family loaded up and hit the road. Nearly the entire way, I seemed to work hard at maintaining my peace and calmness. I could have counted every breath, through every passing mile. My fear revealed itself to me in many ways, claustrophobia and agoraphobia being two constant and strong ones. I was determined however, not to give in to their sting of death in my body. Truth was, these fears were real to me. Truth was also, I was clinging desperately to my Heavenly Father, my Authority and Strong Tower.

If fear were the ice cubes in my tea, then Grace was my sweet tea to drink, and the Holy Spirit my lemon! The ice is there controlling the temperature but content of the drink is our flavor and nutrition or satisfaction and the lemon is our kick, the extra special sweetness and surprise. Fear may be there for a while, but it will not remain forever. It melts, consumed by the drink!! Praise God for Sweet Lemon Tea!! lol

I was in constant thanksgiving to the Lord for His provision and Peace, His grace that proveded a "sweet" ride across the many, many, many miles! Of course, once we settled in to the house, we were off again...to face the 2 mile high ski lift, some would say a death-defying 15 minute ride to the top of the Angelfire mountain to play a round of Frisbe Golf. Okay, I had ridden this chair lift years previous and didn't care for it then. Now, laced with "real" fear and anxiety, I was especially nervous...actually, no...fear-full!! Let me see if I can find a picture and if you can understand the heighth of this thing...

Going in Grace, I hopped on. We made it (alive!!!!!) to the top and my adrenaline exploded throughout my body. I don't know if it was the deep sigh of relief or the fact I probably held my breath the past 15 minutes or the sheer joy that I was alive and facing my fears!! It seems that the physical body doesn't always follow the thinking of the mind for my mind was not fearing, but rejoicing. A shot of cortisol is a shot of cortisol, the reasoning irrelevant.

As common with panic or anxiety attacks, I became very out of breath and a little disoriented, although that could have been the altitude too. Who can stand miles high looking over a cliff and not feel a little unsure of your steps?!?  The rest of the family was pushing forward, so I took a step back and sat that game out. Left to my own thinking, I got up and took a walk to walk off some of the adrenaline, slowing down the breathing and do a little prayer walking. Tears filled my heart with joy for fears melted and Grace given...and yet frustration that I was dealing with this in my life. Will I always be so "messed up" Lord? Do my kids see me as ridiculous and weak? Is my husband disappointed and embarrassed by me? Can I ever be normal again?

God, please tell me You are still in control, that You have a better plan for me.

Then, there it was. Among the white/tan mountain landscape, just inches before me, appeared a grey rock. A heart shaped rock. Right infront of me. (I've always been drawn to polka dots and hearts, rather than splashy patterns, butterflies or birds. Just a side note-lol!) This time, it was different. That heart was a real treasure!! My spirit jumped immediately to the card I had just recieved. The Rock. I could hear Him saying these words to me, "God's never taken His eye off of you. Not for a millisecond. He's always near. He lives to hear your heartbeat. He loves to hear your prayers." I picked up that precious heart-shaped rock and held it tight in my hand, squeezing it with all I had. I was holding on to My Rock. The Rock that has me steady and strong. Always had. Always will.

This "heart" of God has become a symbol of His promises to me, of His faithfulness and grace and ever-watching eye over me. Regardless of where I am, I cannot escape Him. Whatever I am feeling, I can count on His sufficient grace. The lies that come against me are quickly met with the Truth of Who He is. "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." I John 4:18

The heart has become that of a treasure to me. On my journey with the Lord, I often "find" hearts along the way that I know without doubt are meant specifically for me in that moment. They are a remembrance, assurance that He is near and His eye is on me then, and always. I remember going on a bike ride by myself, having a bit of a hard day and there was my heart...in the middle of the sidewalk, bright and yellow. No other leaves around. I was encouraged and refreshed. Many trials, bad days, fearful moments, anxious thoughts patterns have almost always been met with the undeniable "heart" of God. Just today, I was out snorkeling and there it was again...

God is sweet, gentle and kind and often funny to me. Always deep adoration, humility and reverent fear, but there is such a beautiful side I think we miss sometimes. God was always Judge and Mr Fix It Counselor in my eyes and never Abba Daddy or Friend. I have sooo treasured Him in my heart as I have learned to walk in fellowship with Him. There is nothing boring (as my teen would say) about a relationship with our Lord God. It's exciting!! As the ole hymn says, "Better is one day in Your House than thousands elsewhere." I believe that with all my heart and soul!! Every day is another opportunity to find the "heart" of God! I love that my kids have noticed my affinity for all things "heart" and often gift me with hearts they find. My son found a huge heart shaped leaf on his way home from school and brought it home to me, presenting it to me with such joy!! We noticed flowers and rocks and even clouds floating above, all full of promises!

Jesus LOVES me this I KNOW!!!! God, help me know it better, trust it more.

Jesus LOVES YOU, this I know too!!!! God, show Yourself in such a way to those searching, that joy consumes them and shakes them up from the inside out. May it be exciting as they find the treasure of You!!!

Won't you seek the "heart" of God today and ask Him to show it to you in a way that is undeniably Him. No doubt, with all assurance and joy, that you too may believe and trust that He is near!!!



Your Pick

You know those stories where you get to choose the story line and it creates 2 versions of the story for the reader? Well, I have 2 choices for you tonight. It’s been “one of those weeks” and yet “I’m thankful for all God has done.” So, you pick which of the following blog-points you’d like to read:

BAD: Glass Half Empty. It’s Been One of THOSE Weeks. What is God Doing? I am READY for Vacation!!!

GOOD: Glass if Half Full. God is Good. I’m Thankful for ALL God has done! Can’t Wait for Vacation!!

Most of you know me and know that I am more of a positive, glass half full, hopeful personality than a negative, glass half empty, hopeless personality. Of course I have my down days and even seasons of “Ugh” but by the Grace of God, I seem to make it through, one step at a time. These past few weeks have been truly bitter-sweet. I’d have to say that most of the time, I feel very “in-control” and balanced with everything tilted to the “It’s all good” side of life. But I must say these past few weeks have been 50/50 in the “good and bad” of life. I’m going to lay the issues out there in hopes to help someone else see that there is always something good if we are looking, hoping for it.

Our faith is our hope in times of trouble. If my eyes are fixed on good, I will clearly see the good. If my eyes are on the bad, I will only see the bad as I yearn for the good. If my eyes are focused on the good of Christ (hope, faith, love) then I will see His mighty hand as it leads me through the bad. With Christ, I know despite the evil, the trials, the heartache and the condemnation around me, I hold on with all I have to the Cross of Salvation. My Risen Savior lifts me up. He holds on to me even if my grip is weak. He is strong!! God is always with us, we know that. He is also never going to give us more than we  (WITH HIM) can bear, got it. But what about when everything seems wrong, what’s good about bad?!? Here’s me lately...maybe you can relate too:

BAD: Took son to get Learners Permit. Waited 2hrs to find out they passed a new law just days before that you must show TWO proofs of residence. Time wasted.

GOOD: Got to spend extra time with my 15yr old playing games on his phone and catching up.

BAD: Took son back again with TWO recommended utility bill proofs to find out the bills were in my husband’s name and not mine. More wasted time...2hrs every time:(

Did I mention I had a fever, and was on the way afterward to the hospital for a procedure?

GOOD: My husband and I are now talking about the business part of marriage-Wills, Names on accounts, Permissions, etc.  

BAD: Didn’t plan on the lost time with DPS due to their inefficiency.

GOOD: Hopefully demonstrated patience and respect for authority even when they seem unfair.

BAD: Had a fishbone stuck in my throat. Had fever all week. Husband was out of town all week.

GOOD: Extra cuddle time with the kiddos….and delicious mashed potatoes (fav comfort food) AND lost 5 lbs!!

BAD: Husband was out of town all week so I waited for him to be home to have procedure done.

GOOD: Thankful my husband has a job and we have insurance coverage.

BAD: Tried to experiment building a paper mache volcano and it didn’t work! Killed my shoulders leaning over to apply for the couple of hours. More wasted time.

GOOD: Enjoyed fellowship with a friend and shoulder rub from my Honey!

BAD: Had procedure but they didn’t find bone. All that for nothing.

GOOD: Had great experience with great staff which I was previously anxious about.

BAD: My body was very stressed from the week and maybe response to anesthesia. Heartrate kicked up and left me feeling very anxious and out of breath for 2 days.

GOOD: Forced CHILL OUT time at home and pool with kids as husband stepped in and helped with needs. Took 48hrs to get back to normal...thank God it healed without intervention of meds.

BAD: Back to DPS with son to get Permit, waited another 2 hours. In bind with getting other kids picked up from school.

GOOD: Extra time AND I confronted employee of our wait and need to NOT come A 4^th TIME and she got us back…and he passed!!!! Friend helped me get kids.

BAD: Had 2 xrays done by 2 radiologists. One says there IS a fishbone and the other says there is NOT a fishbone. What in the world?!?

GOOD: I am practicing grace and confrontation/conflict resolution on my own. I have had favor with all the Dr’s and technicians so far.

BAD: All the wasted time doing what only needed to take ¼ the time it did.

GOOD: Reminded of the Israelites and how I don’t want to be like them when things are in my control. Understanding that not everything is something I can do something about. Patience. Endurance.

BAD: Still need to get volcano done.

GOOD: Thankful I have done rock formations before and I LIKE crafting, so I cannot wait to bust it out tomorrow!!!!

BAD: Sat down to blog tonight and no internet connection.

GOOD: Another problem solved- Word, then cut and paste whenever I get internet back. J

BAD: Haven’t SCUBA since Jan 2008. Had one of my first warning flag panic attacks under water in Belize. Yes, a little PTSD now.

GOOD: Friend who certified me is taking me into the dive pool for a little refresher and encouragement before we leave. Excited!

BAD: There is soooo much to do before VBS and Vacation.

GOOD: YAY my church is having VBS and YAY I get to go on vacation with my family.

BAD: HAVE to work on the volcano which means I will miss my daughter’s Splash Day.

GOOD: I will be keeping my word to finish what I committed to months ago so I can enjoy the rest of the week with my family.

BAD: My cell battery drains out by 4pm everyday this past week.

GOOD: Thankful for all my family and friends who continued to blow up my phone with texts and emails to encourage me and show their concern.

BAD: Date night away for one night with my honey. It is his b-day and might be my “d-day.”

GOOD: At least we get to have adult time for 24hrs and sleep in!!!

BAD: With everything going on, physically and emotionally, I haven’t done any ministry work.

GOOD: God intercedes on my behalf and HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT filling in my gaps!!!

There is always bad. There is always good. To everything a season. The choice is ours which we choose to dwell on. I could certainly be crushed and angry and freaking out but I choose peace. I haven’t felt peace at all times, but I have Peace to rest on as I set my mind on Christ.

I hate that I swallowed the bone but sooo glad I did and not one of my children!!! I hate that I haven’t been able to minister to others this past week, especially not having focus or energy to work on my own memory verses and study notes, but I trust that God will open the flood gates at the right time and make up for this “lost” time. I know He will supply all I need when I need it, so I rest in His divine plan for serving Him and growing in Him.

I don’t know what you are going through or how crazy or maybe even great things are going for you right now, but may I encourage you that God is in control and if you are in need, He will supply it. If you are satisfied and everything is wonderful, then may I encourage you to reach out and give.

Every storm has a rainbow.

Every rose has a thorn.

BAD: There’s so much going on, it took longer to write as I ponder, “What’s good about THAT?!” and now it is late.

GOOD: I got to work it all out with you and breathe a big sigh of vented relief, ahhhh.

Father God, thank You that in everything there You remain, watching, guiding, protecting and providing. Even when we want, we know that You alone are all we really need. Jesus, just saying Your name lifts my spirit higher. Thank You Holy Spirit for leading me through the troubled waters and bringing Light into what is intended to be darkness from the evil one. God, You are a Mighty Fortress and Mighty to Save!! I praise You. Amen.

*I wrote this post a week ago but haven't had internet at home to post. It has turned out to be a better week. I am so thankful I chose to focus Christ, looking forward with hope and faith rather than dwell on all the What if's and all that is bad. Choose this day whom you will serve!!!!!!!

Blessings all!!

Really....it is NEVER a good time to experience a "thorn in our flesh," is it?!? Who has time to deal with extra "stuff" ontop of the already pressures and busyness of everyday life. I have found myself with a new "thorn in my flesh." I mean that LITERALLY!!!

Sunday evening we grilled up Saturday's catch and unfortunatly a small, 1cm, fish bone got past me and is now lodged in the lower part of my throat. NOT good timing. NOT making me feel very good. NOT helping me remain calm and focused while my husband is out of state on business. NOT good.

With my walk with Christ, I know that this is a needed pause, a time to search and rest...and trust. With any trial we should immediately find ourselves at the feet of Jesus. Just as a child runs to the comfort and understanding of their Father, so shall we find ourselves in the same way. There is no other comfort as great as our Heavenly Father's. Does this lessen the pain of my flesh? No. Does it take away all the distractions and disruption it has caused? No. But what I do have is peace and comfort, not physcally but in my heart and in my spirit. I know God is in control. I know that Satan's punch is weak compared to the Shield of faith that protects me from being destroyed. God always has the upperhand. He has already won the fight.

Anytime we suffer a thorn in our flesh, we should face it, deal with it, and do our part to work at getting it out. God will take care of the extraction. It may not be the way we want but we have to trust that the Lord of our Body, Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit "works all things out for our good" (Ro 8:28) and in the end, we should find ourslef one step closer to the One who calls us to His sheltering wings of refuge.

If you have a thorn in your flesh, lay yourself on the examination table and ask God to extract all that is bad and heal the wounds. This suffering is an opportunity to rest deeply in Him, to show Satan who has victory in your life and maybe even the need for a season of "stepping back" and searching, waiting in the process of healing. No wound heals alike. It takes time, God's time.

"But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness."

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.

For when I am weak, then I am strong." II Corinthians 12:9-10

Today Lord Jesus, I know that this thorn in my flesh in inconvienent, uncomfortable but that You have allowed it for a reason, and it's always for my good and Your glory. God, may I find comfort in my body soon, but peace and comfort in my soul quickly. You are my refuge and strength. Thank You for the greater sacrifice You have given on my behalf, seeing Your Son take on such painful thorns for the sake of mine. I praise Your Healing and Enduring Name. amen.

PS. THIS is how I like my fish!! SWIMMING!!!!

Do You Know Who's Bible That Is?

Sunday evening our family was back up at the church for the AWANA Awards Night which is always great! Every year I am challenged about the amount of scriptures these young kids are able to memorize and especially of the ones who are recognized for going above and beyond. As an adult, it challenges me.

Anyway, as we sat there, we noticed a bible at the end of the row and I was pretty sure I knew who's Bible it was eventhough that's not where she had sat earlier that morning in worship service. I asked one of my kids if she was here cuz I hadn't seen her (we arrived late due to a meeting we were committed to) and they said No.

At the close of the ceremony, I looked around and didn't see her and figured someone had moved it to this more central spot to be found. So, I picked it up, fully knowing exactly who's it was and to be absolutley sure, I opened it's front cover and the handwriting, oh yes, I immediately recognized without even reading it...small and defined, it was hers for sure. So, I took it to a place where I knew she'd be able to find it easily and it was out of public hands. (I don't know about you, but although my Bible is open to the hands of anyone to use for a moment, I certainly would not want someone thumbing through my personal notes stuck inside. I guess since you just never know, I ought to do a little "spring cleaning" in my own bible.)

It delighted my heart in such a SiLLy way, that I knew from 10ft away, exactly who's Bible had been left behind,and even to make double sure, I recognized the handwriting inside. I knew the Bible because I had studied alongside that bible for over a year. That exact Bible had been used to teach me and encourage me as I sought out wisdom. I had seen that handwriting on a dry erase board many times  as I shared some classes with her. She was delighted to receive my message that I had claimed her Bible and returned it safely knowing she'd be wanting it back quick!!! Who knew there was a lesson for me in it!?! Something so minimal and yet God can use anything to teach us more about Him! Good God, You are good!!

Would someone be able to recognize your own "Bible?" Literal or not. I wonder when people see me 10ft away or are intimately close to me, do they know my "bible" and/or "my handwriting?" Do I use my (literal) Bible as my main resource guide as I encourage others or as I seek out my own knowledge of truth? It is so visible so others know? Not an an arrogant, "look at me" way, but in a "this is my only hope" way. Am I using "my Bible" at all times, in every area of my life, with anyone I am with that they would recognize it at a glance?

And as far as the handwriting, am I living out in an identifiable way, the words of my "Bible?" In a day and age of technology, how special it is is receive a handwritten note from a friend. It has become a rare thing, a dying art. We all have unique characters (literally-in DNA and God's giftedness) so I wonder if they would identify us if evidence has been found?

Have you been recently seperated from your "Bible?" What a blessing to have others close to you to bring it back to you! Satan is slick...we can become scattered and drift away, not even knowing it, but those around us can see what's been lost and bring us back to our Bible, quick!! Thank You God for Your hands and feet here on Earthe who act on Your behalf.

"For thus says the Lord GOD: Behold, I, I myself will search for my sheep and will seek them out. As a shepherd seeks out his flock when he is among his sheep that have been scattered, so will I seek out my sheep, and I will rescue them from all places where they have been scattered on a day of clouds and thick darkness."

Ezekiel 34:11-12

Father God,

Thank You for blessing me with such amazing friends, Sisters in Christ who are all about You, shining Your Light everywhere they go. The core of them is their Bible, You. Thank You for engraving their names in my own heart as a remembrance of Your hands and feet, a provision of Your tangible Love her on Earth, in teaching, encouraging, accountability, for times of joy and times of sorrow.
May our lives reflect You so that anyone looking on us near or far would know for sure what our "Bible" looks like and if they were to open us up that they would see Your handwriting as our own. May our life bring You glory in and through Your Son's Intimate Name, amen!!

"You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet.

"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house.

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to
your Father who is in heaven."
Matthew 5:13-16

"Oh no...how'd you break it?!?"

Last September 2011, as some of you may remember, I broke my elbow. It was the first bone I have ever broken and I hope it is the last bone ever broken!! Youch!!! The first thing people would say the moment they saw my sling was the obvious "Oh no...how'd you break it?!?" How could one not notice the bandages, ice packs, big blue sling hanging around my neck....there was obviously something broken. If anything, something was wrong.

I started thinking about all the things inside of us that can be broken, if anything, wrong and yet often invisible to the onlooker. What if there was a big blue sling that appeared around our neck for each broken piece inside us? I cannot tell you the amount of times my heart was broken and yet no one said to me, "Oh no...how'd you break it?" Or in the times I felt so alone, physically and emotionally depleted and yet no one asked me, "Oh no...how'd you break it?" We can feel shattered inside and yet no one can see our broken pieces.

We must ask ourselves "why?" "Why doesn't anyone see my broken pieces?"

I can only think of one reason:
1. We are choosing to hide our brokenness.

And I can think of two reasons why we would choose to hide our brokenness:
1. Pride- We don't want others to see us as less than perfect.
2. Fear- Maybe we fear the judgement of others.

And I can only think of one reason why we are being controlled by Pride and Fear:
1. We are not fully surrendering to our Lord Jesus and trusting Him to "heal" us.

Yes, it is true that God is all we need to take care of all our needs physically, emotionally and spiritually. However, He has commanded us to live in community with each other. To Encourage each other. To pray and intercede on each other's behalf. How does that happen when the person withdrawals and the need is not made known?

One of my favorite movies is Father of The Bride with Steve Martin. Do you remember how "George" went around town telling every person he encountered how much the wedding was costing him? Do remember how destructive that was and actually hurt the people around him? I am not sure that is what God meant it to look like when we confess to one another. The people he should have shared with are those who cared, loved him, were involved with the situation and those who could do something about it, especially the professionals, especially his partner in life, his wife. The entire town certainly did not need to know.

The opposite is just as destructive which I think is more common than we are willing to admit. We find ourselves silent. Maybe it is pride and fear. Maybe we are humble and minimize our pains compared to those we are aware of who are experiencing a much greater "brokenness" than us. Maybe we are finding it hard to forgive ourselves or the one who broke us? Maybe we don't even know where to begin. Maybe, just maybe, we don't feel like we have those "best" friends in our life that we can share our hurts with. I think we can all relate being in one of these places at one time in our life. Are you there now?

May I encourage you from personal experience? Trust. Trust God to know that not only does He see you but He will send you rescue. It may be through changed circumstances or people. Are you willing to tear down that wall of protection you have built up, take off that mask of perfection and trust the rescue God has sent you? I would bet that there are people God has placed in your life as the "best" for you for such a time as this. If you can't see them, ask God to show you. If He sent them, don't you think He'd want you to see them?!? Of course He would. Ask. Wait. They are near. (And they may even be professionals who are able to help you.)

We ought to be careful who we trust with our hearts. Don't be "George." We can rest assured that if God has placed these people in your life as His "hug" to you for this season of life (whether joyful or sorrowful), you can trust Him with your heart. Perfect love casts out fear. So you must first trust and love God deeply and trust these hugs sent by Him. He has a plan. Yes, you do take a chance of being betrayed, hurt, judged, rejected. And yes, you may have those things happen and you know what, God allowed it to happen to you. His grace eases the sting and shows us how to remain calm and steadfast in His love. There are lessons for us even in the midst of pain. I'd much rather walk through a hurt in the center of God's will than on my own. His grace is sufficient.

Everything we go through, good or bad, is for our good and His glory. It was through these type of "betrayals" I learned how to build some really good protective walls. And for many many years they have remained...to protect. What was inside, stayed inside. This is so destructive. Not only do you hurt yourself in so many ways (body, mind and spirit), you also reject the receiving side of God's command to love one another, live in community and intercede. Which means that broken pieces must be seen in order for these things to happen. If you are like me, we'd like to always be on the "helping friend" side but none of us are completely immune to the effects of sin or the world's temptations and stings. At one time or another, we will have something broken, if anything, wrong.

The key is trusting God with your heart. He is our Great Counselor and Mighty Physician. He is the Best Friend who loves you no matter. HE will never leave you or forsake you. There is a reason for all we go through and it is important that we are close enough to the Lord to hear His whispers telling us where to go and with who you shall go, and for how long you shall journey together, knowing that in the end, you will be blessed. It is often in the greatest pains that we receive the greatest blessings. I have been sooooo blessed by the "hugs" God has sent me over the years!!! For as long He sees fit, I will hug them and let them hug me back. I have learned how to be a better "helping friend" as I share God's love and wisdom, not my own as well being a "receiving friend" as God hugs me through others. There is more to gain than to loose. God heals. God redeems.

I am no longer a wall builder. Yes, a little wall remains but maybe it's more of a fence with a gate. I allow what's in to go out as I also allow others in. I have survived and been made stronger in the face of betrayal, hurt and pain. I dug deeper into the refuge of God where He gave healing. There is none like Him. I will take every "hug" He send with faith and hope because that is what Love is. Love casts out fear.

So, where are you broken? What if there was an outward big blue sling for every broken thing inside you right now? Has anyone asked you,"Oh no...how'd you break it?" Won't you set aside your "I can'ts"  and trust GOD with your broken pieces and His rescue and healing. He wants to hug you. You know what's even sweeter than that? Once we have seen the "best" for us, God enables them to see the broken pieces without you having to say anything!!! So when it's really tough to speak, they have already spoken on your behalf! Amen!!! Oh to have God's very "best" in our life.

"Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.  

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.  

Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones." Proverbs 3:3-8

Father God,  Thank You Abba Daddy for caring so tenderly for me. Your "hugs" are the "best."  Help me to see those You have sent as rescue to me so that I can share my broken pieces when they come and You bring healing for them. Remove the pride and fear that keeps my wall up. God, I don't want to trust my own faulty protection. I want to trust You to give me what I need, when I need it and for as long as I need it. To everything be a season, giving and receiving. I know Lord it's always about You and never about me, so in my broken pieces, as I am weak, You are my strength and You make me strong. Thank You for the grace that mends me back together. I choose to trust You with my heart and whatever means You see fit to mold my heart to resemble Yours, I receive. I choose to trust You when my heart breaks, may it bleed for You.

Your Name is great. Your healing is perfect. And Your Love is unfathomable. To You be all glory and honor. To You I give. To You I receive. I Love You Creator and Giver of Life Abundant. I choose You. Amen.  
 

Happy New Years 2012...in May!!

HaPpY NEW YeAr 2012!!!!

It's hard to believe we are already at the end of Month 1 in a new year!?! Where is that time flying off to?!?! I would love to blog about the new year and planning our hopes and dreams, but that's not why God put me on the keyboard today. 

As always, these blogs are just as much for me as you. You could be the 4 people I know are faithful readers and I pray there are moments of encouragement in your readings here, but I also pray this opens up on a computer screen of a discouraged person. For those of you who know me, you know I am not a counselor, teacher, minister therefore I don't feel equipped to offer "help." HOWEVER, what I DO have is a relationship with The Great Physician, A Healer, A Compassionate Counselor and Mighty King...and The Sweetest Friend I have ever known. I believe He is who He says He is and He has been faithful to minister in my life. This is why I blog...to remind me in these journallings the many lessons the Lord has showed me and that you too may find yourself also encouraged to draw closer to Him.

The past 24 hours have been soooo sweet to my soul. Last night, the Ladies Bible study was rich and "meaty." Our teacher/facilitator has such a contagious spirit towards the Lord, in her joy, passion for learning The Word, wisdom and mentorship quality. It's been such a blessing and sharpening in my personal walk with the Lord that I am eternally blessed sitting under her instruction. We studied the Great I Am of the New Testament, only to get in my car and turn on the radio and hear "I Am" by Mark Schultz. My hands could not go up towards the Heaven fast enough!!!! Praise the God who's timing even in the smallest and sometimes silliest things is soo perfect!!

What a great year 2011 was!!!! I always reflect back to that very dark and desperate day when I asked the Lord to bring me Home so that I could be back in His fellowship and peace and strength. I had been depleated of everything of me. I didn't like me. I didn't understand me. I didn't want to be me. Me without God is terrifying, lonely, fearful and weak. With God, I am not alone and I am made strong through my weaknesses. God is soooo good. God is sooooo patient. And I am especially glad that God is in control and not me. I look back over that past several years and they have been the absolute best years of my life!!! I know there are no tears in Heaven, but I can't help but think that had He listened to me and I was sitting up there looking down at what my life "could have been," I would be oh so sad. I have had the richest walk with the Lord than ever before in my life. I had/have been given the opportunity to share not only with friends but with my own children what the Lord has done, who He is, who He wants to be in their life. I parent different. I am a different friend.I am a different wife. I am a different Sister in Christ. Outwardly it may not be obvious but God sees my heart and spirit, He knows my thoughts. 

It is my prayer in 2012 that I would grow closer to Him, loving Him more and receiving His love more, so that out of the overflow, and not just what's left to give, but out of abundant overflow, others will be touched by Him, see, feel, and "get" Him and be encouraged to seek whole-heartedly after Him too. What greater gift than to show someone the heart of Jesus!! To shine light on darkness. To awaken what has been asleep for too long? To breath life back into something that has essentially died. To give hope to the hopeless! 

Yep, even my New Year's Resolutions are different. I would have wanted to loose weight, have a clean house 24/7, clean out closets, get some house remodeling done, take a few classes....and while these things are good, NOTHING and I mean NOTHING is more important to me than knowing The Lord our God MORE, and be given the opportunity and honor to share with others about His faithfulness and love.  May I begin now with this...someone reading this needs to hear this:

What ever you are going through, remember that your days have already been numbered by The One who Created You and crafted you by His hand for a purpose. He has allotted you a certain amount of time to complete your job for Him here on this sinful Earth. Won't you trust Him with your time here? Do NOT give up!!!! Do NOT quit!!! Dig into HIM and hold on for dear life. It's not all about you and your happiness. You are here to serve the Living God who has called you unto His purpose. He has called you, has equipped you and is providing for you to finish the race!!! Won't you dare to trust Him? If you have nothing left to give, then AMEN!!!! You can let go of trying to figure it all out and throw yourself at the mercy feet of God and let Him pick you up off that dirty floor and carry you through each and every day, going where He says to go and doing what He says to do. He will fill you up. He ain't finished with you yet!!!!!!!! 

One GLORIOUS day, we will open our eyes and behold the absolute stunning and breath-taking glory of The Lord God Almighty. Sometimes I think I can't breath when I think of His awesomeness....what will it be like in Heaven?!?  My heart wells up with joy that could burst my heart at the thought of seeing Him in radiant glory on His throne. I already love seeing what He shows me here....oh GLORIOUS DAY!!!! Nothing else matters. Yes, He sees our needs and wants and He works all things together for our good. Have dreams. Have goals. Have a plan. Don't be a fool. Be a Child of God, serving in the role He has called you to according to His will for your life. Seek Him first!!!!! 

I could go on and on....I actually just came across this as a draft and had fun reading it. Not sure why it didn't post, so here it goes up!!!! Maybe someone needed to hear it today. If you struggle with purpose or anxiety or fear or depression or loneliness, or you know someone who does, be encouraged!!!! Get into His Word and seek after the Lord your God!!!! Life is in Him. 

Read Romans 8. AMEN!!!!!! 

"You Da' BEST Mom!!"

I LOVE when I hear the words, "Mom, I Love You," and "Mom, You're the Best Mom EVER!!" Unfortunately these words most often come after a reward has been given. I promise you I have not heard these words within an hour of being disciplined, maybe even not that entire day!! LOL!!!!

There was a lesson I learned a few years ago as I walked thru my dark valley in 2008/2009 that God called me to remember this past week. It's a lesson I feel God has reminded me so that I can encourage others with it, especially my own children who are such opportunity seekers.

They would ask for a coke for dinner (which is a rarity in this House of Water!!).

I said Yes. They replied I was the Best!!

They asked for ice cream for dessert (again, another rarity in a house where Mom and Dad are trying to make healthy choices!!)

I said Yes. They replied I was the Best!!

They asked to stay up 30 min past bedtime to finish a favorite show.

I said Yes. They replied I was the Best!!

You KNOW they didn't think or feel that when I said NO. I quickly went from Hero to Zero.

Each time they shout "Mom, You're the BEST!!!!!" I remind them that I am a good Mom regardless if they got what they wanted or not. I ALWAYS have their best in mind. I ALWAYS do my best to give them the desires of their hearts. I ALWAYS do what I can when I can for them. But, I don't always tell them Yes. In their eyes, I am not always their Hero.

NO, you may not play with the fire.

NO, you may not download that song with those lyrics even if the rhythm is cool.

NO, you may not have ice cream for breakfast.

NO, you may not drive my car at the age of 14.

NO, you may not watch certain shows.

NO, you may not date yet.

NO, you will NOT wear pants that show your undergarments.

NO, you may not have a sleepover on a school night.

NO, you may not have a $135 pair of tennis shoes.

NO, you may not have a nicer phone then me.

NO, you may not roll your eyes at me.

NO, you may not talk back to me. 

NO, you may not hit your sibling because they made you mad.

NO, you may not eat Poptarts every day for breakfast.

NO, you may not sit on the couch and watch TV all day long.

NO, you may not skip church cuz you're tired.

Yes, I will protect you.

Yes, I will be there for you when no one else is.

Yes, I will love you always.

Yes, I will hug you and sit with you any chance I am able.

Yes, I will watch your favorite movie with you.

Yes, I will make sure you have appropriate shoes and clothes to wear. 

Yes, I will do all I can to provide a healthy environment- physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Yes, I will teach you how to behave, treat others, study the bible, tithe, drive, clean, every life skill I can.

Yes, I will forgive you when you crush my heart, roll your eyes and make choices that disappoint me.

Yes, I will reward you for your obedience and discipline you in your disobedience.

Yes, I will celebrate your victories in life and encourage you through the trials.

Yes, I will ESPECIALLY teach you all that I know about the Lord our God!!!!

Yes, I will hold you accountable!!!

I am good, regardless of how you feel. Your opinion doesn't doesn't change the fact that I am good. No, I am not perfect and I never proclaim to be. Quit the opposite.  I am a sinner, just like you, on a path of righteousness, just like you, intentionally living my life with Christ as my core, (hopefully) just like you, I must confess my sins, just like you, I tithe my money, just like you. I don't understand God's way all the time, just like you. God is always good. He always has our best in mind.

I tell my kids all the time that it is the example of Christ they should follow, not mine or that of any other human. Some things I do right while sometimes I don't. Isn't that true? We most often know what to do but have a hard time doing it all the time. We're not perfect. Just intentional. Only Jesus has set the perfect example for us to follow. I tell them that I am just like them as I intentionally make choices that are pleasing to Him. I won't always make the right one but my heart and soul are focused on Him and when I make the wrong choice, have a bad attitude, or sin, God forgives me. He forgives us. 

He is good. Whether I agree with what God is doing in my life...even if it is a discipline I know I deserve, He is still good. God is ALWAYS good. My opinion doesn't matter. It doesn't change the FACT that GOD IS GOOD!!!!

To GOD be ALL the Glory!!!

"Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; He is the faithful God, keeping His covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love Him and keep His commands." Deuteronomy 7:9

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." I Corinthians 10:13

"You will say in that day: "I will give thanks to you, O LORD, for though You were angry with me, Your anger turned away, that You might comfort me. "Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the LORDGOD is my strength and my song, and He has become my salvation."Isaiah 12:1-2

" So when God desired to show more convincingly to the heirs of the promise the unchangeable character of His purpose, He guaranteed it with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us." Hebrews 6: 17-18

GOD IS GOOD...ALL....THE....TIME!!!

 

Boot of Death

After the list of minimal "issues" on my car grew to about 5 things, I decided it was time to take it in. I had my little man with me and so we took a little walk along the shopping center while we waited. We smelt some flowers and skipped, hopped, walked backwards, all things exciting-lol!

Around the corner we came upon a line of busy ants to which of course my little man's boots couldn't help but stomp out. He went to town stomping out all the ants. We thought he had cleared out Ant Town USA until just a few more come around the curb right for us. Maybe they were after revenge, or maybe they hadn't heard there was a new Sheriff in town. Well, instead of pouncing on them, I was taken back at his frozen state. I asked what he was doing, he replied, " I'm waiting for them to come under my boot. Then I will smoosh them." I'm thinking there is no way they would walk under the smell of death on that boot....but they did!!! And death came upon them too.

I was quickly reminded about my Pastor's sermon last week about spiritual warfare and the patience of the enemy to wait for us to move closer to him before he devours us. I cannot imagine that those ants would have intentionally walked under the Boot of Death and yet they did. We do the same thing. I wish I had time to write this all the way out, but I have a busy day ahead so I will leave you with some thoughts to ponder.

* Satan WILL wait for you.
* Do you think you can walk up to sin/temptation and NOT be affected?
* Are you on guard, watching and ready for the Boot of Death that you may avoid it's stomping?
* Pay attention!!! The enemy comes to devour you and he will do it quickly at times and other times he will sit quietly by and wait for you to come close before he attacks.
* Watch for warning flags...the old saying is true, mess with the bull, you'll get the horns...play with fire and you'll get burned.
* Just because things appear "quiet" doesn't mean things are safe. The enemy is on the prowl. You are being stalked. He is always ready.

I am sooooo thankful for two things: God has absolute authority over ALL things visible and invisible and that we have the armor of God to wear out the door. May we always be ready and on alert for the Boot of Death that is waiting to smoosh us. May we have the discernment to see it and smell it before we walk under it.

Be aware. Be alert. Be ready!!!! Make plans today to put on your armor and ask God to go before you and lead the way. He is faithful!!!

Oh how I'd love to dig deeper into this but my alarm is beeping. Time is up!! I encourage you today to read Ephesians 6:10-18 and see what pieces you might be missing as you are surely walking through battlefields all the day long and it is crucial you put on that Armor for it will be your only line of defense!!!!!