Two Sides of Every Storm

I am not one to jump in the car and chase a storm, but I am one to get out and take peeks close to home of what's going on nearby me, before, during or after the storms roll through. It's also a great way to meet neighbors as assessments are made of everyone's properties! Florida was spared a hit from Erika today and now we are keeping an eye on Mischievous Fred off the tip of Africa. For several days, our area has experienced some frighteningly fantastic lightening storms. (Had they not been so stunning, I would be pretty upset for the loss of sleep a few nights!) Waters have risen to the tops of the docks, large palms and weak branches have fallen under the weight of the winds. And yet, it's been a welcomed nourishment to very dry lands (and our upcoming water bill!) 
This is our first year to ever live by the water's edge, so I couldn't wait to get out today and check out what the ocean and bayside looked like amongst the storm's backdrop. I brewed up a hot cup of coffee and grabbed my camera to set out to explore the wonders of crashing waves, billowing clouds and surely a brightly colored rainbow to top of the day....only that's not what I found. The skies displayed a thick, dull, grey covering where only the darkest of grey clouds could be seen. Amazingly, the waters were breathtakingly flat calm. You could hear the plinking of raindrops over the water. It was amazingly quiet and serene. My soul was awed. Only God can calm a storm like this. How can this be? Such peace in the middle of a storm?!? 

I walked along the quiet, stilled shoreline of one of my favorite spots, excited and thankful to be able to dip my toes into the warm water for a few minutes; and as I was heading back to my car, my eyes were drawn to the trees and I noticed the waterline on them. All the trees had a dividing line from top to bottom. One half was wet, while the other side was dry. In that moment, God spoke to my heart, "Remember, there are two sides in every storm." My heart flooded with names of friends currently battling cancers, fighting against divorce, leaders under attack. I recalled all the different magnitude of storms in my own personal life over the years of divorcing parents, three miscarriages, panic and anxiety attacks, betrayals, insecurity, disappointments, sadness, loneliness...that was soooo true.
Today's storms could have been much worse. Yes, winds littered the ground with debris which now must be cleaned up. Yes, we anxiously discussed and planned for worse case scenarios. Yes, things were broken....this is the bad part of every storm.....but.....there was another side. There was an indescribable peace. We witnessed a calming of the raging cells. There was welcomed nourishment to our dry lands. There was a purging of weak branches we hadn't noticed before. Shallow roots have been exposed. There was heightened awareness. Anticipation carved away callouses. This is the good part of every storm. 
So it is with us. In every storm, there are two sides. While storms rage among us, we can stand strong, holding on to Strength Himself. We can fix our eyes on Peace and be filled without being consumed. As rising waters expose our shallow roots and winds expose our weaknesses, we can be assured this is a good thing for now our once hardened and poorly nourished soil has been toiled, dead weight tossed off and roots can once again dig deeper. Dry, calloused places within us will be softened by the crashing salty waves washing over us for the duration of the storm. While it can be frightening, our hearts and minds may fret and worry, may we step out with anticipation for something new and wonderful to come. Easier said than done, I know. It's hard to have a steady hope in the face of blinding rains as you watch wind scatter debris all around you. 
I can say from personal experience and I have heard others share the same sentiments, it was only after the storm, looking back over it's destructive path, that we found a divine soil, where our roots had forged deeper underneath us. Because of the darkness, we found the greatest Light. It was flooding waters that taught us what it meant to be consumed by something. It was the gusting winds pushing against us that made us aware of the Strength of Who we were holding on to. The removal of weak and dead branches made way for new growth. Because of the storm, I was made new. I was made stronger. My soul was awed. There really are two sides to every storm.

"O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. 

So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. 

Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. 

So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands. 

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, 

when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; 

for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. 

My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me." Psalm 63:1-8 (ESV)

 "Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.

 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. 

And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand." Matthew 7:24-26 (ESV)

"For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

 And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account. 

Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:12-16 (ESV)

A Discombobulated Heart

"I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth." Psalm 34:1 (ESV) That's not always easy is it?!? When our hearts hurt so much we can't feel it's pulse anymore. When our minds almost feel so numb we have no thoughts. When our soul is so burdened and heavy, we feel weightless. I have found this to be true during the seasons that are the darkest for whatever reason it might be. An overwhelmed soul. A burdened heart and an unsure mind.

I recently experienced such a heart draining season. It wasn't a loss of any one thing, but an accumulation of many things that saddened my soul. My marriage is good. My kids are all healthy. I have amazing friends. As far as I know, my health is okay (despite the continual fight of fatigue), yes, "though my outward body is failing, my inner is renewing day by day," believe me, I know! And for goodness sakes, I live in Paradise. So really, how could I possibly be downcast?!? Believe me, I wondered the same thing day after day. But there's that cloud, that blahness of nothingness. Anyone else feel that way in some seasons?

It is possible to feel such a weight of sadness, eating is something that has to be forced, getting out of bed is a struggle much less housekeeping or having to work, getting out of the house seems like a daunting task, and the thought of going to lunch with a friend isn't even an option. Then there is church. We go because it's what we do week after week. We wouldn't dare draw attention to ourselves by not showing up, and we don't want to lie and say "we didn't feel good" even though it is absolutely true in our heart, so we go, putting on the best possible smile, and cute, but comfy outfit we have.

We hug quickly, avoid eye contact and get to our seats as fast as we can. Music plays and yet it passes right through us. We feel nothing. The Pastor prays and preaches, and we hear mumbled sentences in our numb minds. Nothing is sticking. Nothing is penetrating through the wounded walls of our souls. Until...the name of Jesus, The Word, is spoken. Our spirit leaps within us a hope of help! Please speak to me! Rescue me from this pit! Can you hear me out there?!? You can feel the stirring within you but you have no strength, but then you sense it....He sees your hurt. His hand catches your tears while the other grabs hold of your heart's hand. And....He weeps with you. Oh what relief to collapse and be lifted! What joy of relief! 

The Great Physician has come to heal this discombobulated heart! The Mighty Counselor, The Great I Am, hears my cries! The numbness subsides and you feel breath again. Finally, our heart is hugged. Finally, the joy of the Lord, is our strength once again. It is well with our soul! What amazing grace! We can face tomorrow with hope and joy!!

I don't know what you are facing in your life personally, directly or indirectly, but I pray these words comfort you knowing you are not alone. Even the most positive people, the strongest of us, fall downcast on our knees and can't get up right away. Ecclesiastes describes the variant of seasons we all walk through in our lifetime. How wonderful a God we serve to send not only His Comforter in our time of need, but He sends friends who meet us in these little hidden crawl spaces of life and shine His Light into the dark little corner where we sit.

Maybe you're not the one in a time of sadness, then I plea with you to be a Light to someone who is. You won't know it it until you seek them out. They certainly won't be drawing attention to themselves if they are Giver. Encouragers don't like to be seen, un-encouraging. Yes, I know, Takes one to know one.

You will see it in their eyes if you just look for 3 seconds. Most likely your Spirit inside you is pulling to hug the spirit inside of them! Do not pressure them into sharing, it's the very thing they can't simply do nor do they want to fall apart right there in front of you. But, be the hug from God. Let them know you are there when they are ready to share, or fellowship again. Send them scriptures of hope and encouragement to keep their eyes fixed on Jesus. Lift them up in prayer and fight the battle against despair with them and for them. Speak loving truth, help them stay pure and upright. Be that LightHouse, a source of Light in to their darkness. And if you want to be a super great friend, a little chocolate goes a long way!! LOL!!!

Friend, He sees you when you are hiding from everyone else. Satan wants you to isolate and self-destruct, but you must fight back in Jesus Name! God hears your words when none can be spoken. He notices the tears drenching your soul. When you can't muster the strength to fellowship with others, He is with you. When you feel empty and numb, remember the filler of your soul and simply cry out, "Jesus...." He hears you. He is near. I pray your joy comes in the morning and you feel your heart beating again. Grieve when and where you need to grieve but also rejoice and count your blessings. Worship The Great I Am, dance with Him, sit with Him, smile with Him. His heart is for you. Today, be where faith is. Trust His friendship. Rest in His Kingship.

May the Words of Psalm 34 (ESV) encourage you today as a declaration of your heart, soul and mind! Bless your heart eternally and now! Hugs&Hope, Michele

"I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth." 

My soul makes its boast in the LORD; let the humble hear and be glad.

 Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together!

 I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. 

Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.

 This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. 

The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them. 

Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! 

Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack!

 The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. 

Come, O children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. 

What man is there who desires life and loves many days, that he may see good? 

Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. 

Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. 

The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry.

 The face of the LORD is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth. 

When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. 

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. 

Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all. 

He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.

 Affliction will slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be condemned. 

The LORD redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned."

AMEN!!!!!

Letting Go

This Palm in my yard had tugged at my heart for the past month or so.  Yes, I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE taking in the details of God's AMAZING Creation, however with the season of life I am walking through, this especially gets my heart every day.

The way palms grow, the new palm is birthed from the middle and over time, it grows outward, spreading it's leaves out into beautiful canopies. But notice the "tether" (see close up on left). There is this fine "thread" stitching all the leaves together which keeps them growing in the same direction and in the the same length together. As the palm grows, and thus the leaves grow, the threading slowly pulls apart, allowing the palm to spread out and become the canopy we see in the mature branches below, and the threading flows freely alongside it's branch almost as if it's directing the leaves from a distance as a director leads his orchestra. 


The palm is birthed, held together as it grows, and is slowly released as it matures into what it was created for...just like my son. I knew this day was coming, for 18 years and 9 months, however, it always seemed so far away and people told me over the years how glad I would be to finally get the kids out of the house. Well, that is not exactly how I feel, at all. I am sad to see him go and my heart hurts, and yet, I know his whole life, as I have sewn into him a Mother's Love, is about birthing, growing, letting go, one leaf or day, at a time as he enters into what he was designed for. 

Every day I walk into my backyard and see this palm, I notice the stretching of the threading on this new branch as if it is my countdown clock. Every day, it stretches a little more with less of a grip than the day before, just like me. I nearly hesitate to look in these recent days for fear it will be completed. It would mean my time is near too, to let go of the last thread eventhough the day is near.

Just as the thread flows freely alongside the palm, so will I in the life of my son. While I will no longer be able to physically touch him and guide him, hug him or protect him, I will still be near for we are connected at the core. We will always be one, and yet separate. Our roots in Christ, physically and spiritually, will be what keeps us alive and together for always. 
How I pray he remembers that all his days. I will love them all always!!!

Father, my Abba Daddy, thank You for being the root of me, keeping me connected and grounded in You. Lord, and for Your Holy Spirit who threads the whole of my life, leading, guiding and protecting me, keeping me close to You, I thank You. Thank You Creator God, for the miracle of Your creation, birthing everything into life with such care and form. Thank You for giving me this palm as a reminder of Your love for me, how You too hold me together to help me be what You created me to be. Thank You for each of my children, for choosing to plant them into my garden of life, to birth them, nurture them and love them but Lord it's hard to release this thread as they grow and mature. This stretching out pulls at the string of my heart and I find myself wishing for each day's minute to stretch instead so I can hold on a little longer. Help me to release them each fully into Your hands. I know they are Yours. I committed each one to You from the beginning of their lives. And yet, I love them so and wish they could forever be with me. I know that You have a greater love for them and a plan and purpose they must live out in You, it's what they were created for so each day is a letting go. Thank You for allowing me to know this kind of love that stretches me so I better understand how much You love me.
Thank You Father for the reminder of how much You long for us Your children and love us with all Your heart. Thank You for life. Thank You for love. Thank You for holding on to us, keeping us together as one with You. I know we will always be one. Holy Spirit, direct me as Your instrument and now, direct my son, keep close to him and may he always see You near even when he's stretching out his palms, may they always and forever be towards You. Thank You for the gift of time, and that we have the assurance of all eternity to be reunited as Your children. Help me here on earth in each Mommy Moment. Thank You. In Your Sweet name, amen.

"O LORD, you have searched me and known me! 

You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. 

You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. 

Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD,you know it altogether. 

You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. 

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.

Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? 

If I ascend to heaven, you are there!If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! 

If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, 

even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.

 If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night," 

even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you. 

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139:1-14

"But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. 

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." John 14:26-27

"I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5

One Year Reflection When God Taught Us a Different Way to Live

Today marks the One Year Anniversary of the day God called our family to cross state lines and learn a different way to live. We traded our boots and jeans for flip flops and cover ups. 

This past year really has been a different way of living. I mean, Texas is it's own country. You could spend a lifetime exploring all of it's diverse regions. In both Texas and Florida, you have the opportunity to hunt for your own food, land or sea, and grill it up for your family. Texas offers beautiful skies as does Florida. People are very protective over their lands and take great pride in their environments, in both states. Because of the diversity of Texas, beaches and lakes to desserts and mountains, you find all sorts of people there, city folk, country folk, to those living off the grid. Same here in the islands. There is much in common between these two amazing places we have called home.

I never would have imagined us living on an island and being happy about it! I mean for vacations, yes. God has shown us a dream way to live. It's not that we have sharks, dolphin, manatee, turtles, barracuda, colorful fish and iguanas in our back yard. It's not that we see creation more that cement. But it's been how we lived for the past year compared to all we had previously known as normal. We have learned more than simple living in a smaller house with a community of limited choices. More than wearing less make-up and having less "things." 

For the first time, we have lived a life counting down our days. 

When God called us here, we knew it would be for a year. Every person told us we wouldn't be coming back but we assured them we would be. Denial? Fear? Maybe. 

Because we knew we only had a year, we have lived life counting down the days verses living the "one day we hope to" or "maybe next month" mentality. This was our chance to embrace everything island living had to offer. There were only 12 months and the countdown had begun. 

While we lived with intentionality in Texas, I realize now we never lived each day truly fully embracing that day or that place. It was a day in and day out, routine, familiar place we called home, where days stacked up one upon another. We certainly embraced the people (family, neighbors, friends, community), and we enjoyed Texas life but even then, compared to what we have experienced here in living fully embracing, we could have shared and embraced life more. 

After a long week of work, sports, running 4 different directions with the four kids, we found ourselves in a rut, collapsing on our own couches, exhausted, with nothing left to give...and besides, surely next week, next month won't be so crazy. But inevitably it was. 

Yes, we had people over, but rarely. And not because we didn't want to, but because we figured another time would be better, less crazy...and those days were few and far between! Our minds processed time with a future hope. Here, we could not process fellowship opportunities like that because we didn't have endless opportunities to share life with others. There were only 52 weekends to explore this place, these people, with our family of 6...365 days...364...363...100...99 days to experience what God had for us.

When we moved here to Florida, we really didn't have plans to make friends and dig deep roots here. We felt more on sabbatical, on mission. 

We weren't coming to establish ourselves but rather to experience whatever He had for us for each day, counting down each one, knowing God had called us here to release some of the chains of life we had been bound by and to cling only to Him. He moved us out of our rut, and into refreshment, serving Him, loving Him and growing in Him in fresh new ways. We were to embrace and renew our relationship with God individually and as a family. We also knew we were to find a local church to encourage and support yet not lead within. It was counting down lifestyle.

And we have. Every day is a day submitted and surrendered to God, His plans, His desires. I can only hope and pray that I have mostly accomplished all that He has asked of me. I have had my lazy days. I have had selfish moments. I have missed the mark often. But my heart has daily longed for His. 

No, I don't have a book published. No one has my photography displayed on their wall. I cannot strike a cord on the guitar. I did not lead my children through Bible studies and teach them all I know. I didn't learn to cook all the fabulous and healthy meals I wanted. I didn't loose those stubborn 30lbs. But, I did embrace intentional living and loving, exploring and embracing newness of life in Christ. 

No matter where God calls us next, I pray that we will continue to live embracing life, continuously counting down the days here as we look forward to each new day we step closer to the last day before Glory where our days will never end! What joy to look back over the years and know that even though we made mistakes and missed opportunities, at least we were intentional and gave what we had to give for each day as a whole. A life lived embracing!

I hope this has made sense to you. Sometimes the things we experience deep in our hearts and the way we process things, are hard to express without sounding random or obscure. I write this (as with each blog) as a place of remembrance for me personally to a place God has met me and changed me, but also as an opportunity to encourage you. It's not a happenstance you are here. 

Our lives are living testimonies to be shared. For me, this blog is just one of the ways He has given me. My life used to be so private, rooted deeply in insecurity and fear of judgement. How wonderful and freeing to live life with an Audience of One. There is way less pressure and way more pursuit!

I want to encourage you today, if you have found yourself living life in a rut, days are just days stacking up, you find yourself always wishing you could (fill in the blank) but you continually put it off, I pray you will ask God to lead you out of that rut and refresh you into His abundant living, counting down your days, instead of putting them off, until Glory. 

It's doesn't mean you will be called to sell everything and move. It doesn't mean your circumstances will all of a sudden change. But it does mean your heart and mind will be renewed as you are seek to find more joy, a refreshment of soul, embracing every day's breath with the purpose God has planned for you, wholly living for Him, in Him and thru Him. 

Life here is short. 

You won't notice the sunsets, the miracles, the needs of others, the love, the people around you when you are in a crazy cycle, busy intersection or a rut. They will be distant glimpses of something more, something hoped for. How glorious when we "get out" and experience it first hand!!!

Today, will YOU choose to live counting down? I'd love to know about it!

For those wanting to read about the call here, you can read about it on the blog .

Ephesians 3: 14-21 (ESV) "For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 

 from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, 

that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith--that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 

may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 

and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. 

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen."

Here are just a few of our 365 days....

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