Let's Talk About Love

What does Valentine's Day mean for you? Remember those younger days when your Mom took you to the store to pick out the Box of Valentine's for every kid in your class whether you liked them or not?!? There was no avoiding not sharing kindness to the kids who were mean to you even in the slightest way. There is such a lesson to be learned right there and I could run down a rabbit hole with that one, but I will leave it there for right now. 

Statistics say Christmas and Valentines are the highest recordings of suicide and depression. People feel unloved or lonely. People feel left out in the absence of being romantically noticed. Oddly enough, relationship status has little to do with feeling loved, treasured, adored and precious. Couples - married, engaged or courting, may not have a partner who is good at showing love. Love is simply cultivated between any two people who genuinely care for one another.

Somewhere along the timeline of adolescence into adulthood, This Love Day evolved from a community love to a more sensual-focused couple-relationship in the receiving of affections physically through tangible gifts or human touch. 

Our human hearts are wired to desire Love, being the Love of Christ and Love with others. It becomes very easy as our hormones grow in adolescence to measure one's value on the quantity of received attention from other human hearts. The commercial retail industry's banks on the addiction to love as they flood the market with all things in the name of Love. So much so, the Love of Christ may not come to mind for most, yet here in His Sweet Love, we find the measure of our worth and value. In this season, may I remind you of the greatest commandment, Love God and Love others! Should we celebrate loving others? YES! Should we also celebrate the Love of God? YES! 

As an adult, married 29 years to my guy, Valentine's is not a sexual thing. I admit being a Super Romantic thanks to growing up with Cinderella and all the Disney Princesses. So for me, Valentine's is a day celebrating Love of all those who love you and all the ones you love. It is about all the Love in your life, not all the making love in your life. Does that mean a sensual Love in marriages across the world will not be made on this day? No, but it is not the primary call of the day.

Love is not selfish or self-seeking and God was the perfect example, giving us His Only Son because He loved us so much. So what ought we show in loving-kindness towards others? What may our focus be on this Day about Love? Sex or Serving? Lust or Love? Married people or all people? 
The saying is true, It better to give than receive and the Giver is more blessed than the Gifted. Our spirit stirs and our souls ignite with passion when we serve as a blessing and give from our heart, so we ought to do it, often...more than one day out of the year, right?! 

So, whether you are young person, married, divorced, separated, in a happy place or rocky place in your relationship, these are some ideas how you might celebrate Love as a family OR an individual and a few ideas at the end for the Ms and Mrs of the crowd.

Showing Love to another doesn't have to be expensive. It doesn't have to be roses, flowers and diamonds. It doesn't have to be from anyone....Love is something you GIVE, not get. So, let's share some Love....

Let's think of all the Whos. WHO can we show love to?

ANYONE and EVERYONE needs to be LOVED!!! Besides the once we easily think of like family members, children, teachers and dating partners, here are some others to consider: postman, FEDEX/UPS delivery drivers, local hospital staff, nurses, Pastors and their families, your local fire and police departments, cashiers, doctor's offices, law offices, DMV, garbage truck men, local businesses you frequent, women's or children's shelters, nursing home residents and staff, bankers, children's homes, tax office, military recruit centers, homeless, non-profits in your area, cleaning staff in the stores/malls/restaurants, drive thru windows at the pharmacy/fast food/bank/toll booth, wait staff and busboys...

WHAT can we do?
ANYTHING and EVERYTHING! Let's say money was no object, okay, well have fun and spoil and bless away with all your gifts and treats, but let's say you only have some money. Here are some ideas to do as a family or individual. 

• Make meals, crafts or cookies with a sweet note or bought card (Dollar Tree Valentine's are vintage treats!)
• Buy flowers, $10 gift cards, donate to a local charity
• Host a lunch or coffee date
• Pay for the groceries, coffee, happy meal, family meal without recognition
• Send Valentine's Cards to...who does God put on your heart? Look up their address online if it's been too many years to remember.
• Buy clothes or school supplies or event tickets for a family or friend you know would appreciate it. 
• Take a roadtrip to see friends/family/new city, buy an experience, take a (free) community sponsored class 

And if you don't have any money to spend, which was where I was a few years ago, here are some ideas, much of what I have done too.

• Clean someone's room/house/church/nearby park
• Pick up trash at your favorite park
• Put gas in the other person's car and say nothing, or take over a chore
• Attend a local (free) concert or event in your city or nearby with friends/family/group
• Invite a widow, single Mom, military Wife, College Kid another family over for dinner and games 
• Make spaghetti and make garlic bread sticks from hot dog buns and buy one bag of chocolates the day of for 50-75% off at most every store
• Pick flowers from your yard or from the side of the road and place in a tin can/mason jar/spaghetti jar/coffee cup and gift (check for bugs first! I learn that the hard way!)

For the rest of the List, CLICK HERE! 

And now what about YOU? You want to celebrate being Loved by such a wonderful Heavenly Father and delight yourself in it. The chocolate choices are abundant, and often 50-75% off the day of!! We give so much and we'd love a little something tangible to celebrate Love and express being loved too. So what can we do for ourselves, regardless of marital status?

• If you have money to spend, enjoy a night out with a friend or order take out and take it home alone (as a married woman, I treasure my nights in my pj's, with my favorite food and movie!)
• Buy yourself something within your own budget...it may be a $500 pair of earrings or a spa day or many it's a $5.00 Hershey's chocolate kiss or Recesses Peanut Butter Heart with your salad. 
• Wash the sheets and blankets. Add a drop of essential oil to the dryer ball.
• Take an extra long bath with your favorite book and a candle in the corner.
• Consider replacing an undergarment with something cute vs practical. 

For the rest of the list, click here!! 

No one is perfect. No marriage is perfect. No family is perfect. Only GOD is perfect and in His sweet, gracious, fun Love, we get to Live in it! His Love is unconditional. You cannot earn it or afford it. It is a Gift that cost Him greatly but He counted that cost and said You were worth it. YOU ARE LOVED!

This Valentine's Day, may you realize how greatly YOU are LOVED and know you are not alone. He is near, He sees and He knows what you need. Open your eyes and your heart to see this amazing grace and receive His Love, that you may also GIVE it!! 

"and may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, as we do for you, 

so that he may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father, at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his saints." 1 Thess 3:12-13

"And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you, but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul," Deut 10:12

For those who enjoy researching, check out what is said to be the origin of Valentines. Very interesting! Click Here.

God Can Hear You Just Fine.

I thought I would share an excerpt from my journaling from December 2008 as panic and anxiety attacks consumed my life, churning up my once neat and tidy soil. God used this season to shake up and shape up my heart, mind and soul, ultimately pruning back much of me so that He could do a refining work, reestablishing my root system and growing in me something new.

As always, I pray as you read through these words you allow God to speak to you, that it would be His voice you hear and not mine. May you be encouraged and reminded in the truths, you are loved, you are not alone, you are stronger than you think, He is near. Satan wants nothing more than for you to doubt the love of God and begin loosing hope. 

The further we fall into the darkness of a pit, the harder it is to find our way back out. But the Good News is that God is Light and His Word is a lamp for our feet and a light on our path. He will lead you, and you must patiently follow, one step at a time, one breath at a time.

Never quit believing God is for you. Cling fast to what is Truth. Rest in His care.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

"Embarrassed and confused myself, I did not share what I was going through except with a select few family and friends. I am a pretty private person, and struggle with feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. I was also serving in leadership within my church with a heart to do Women's Ministry and Retreats. If they knew, I knew it would kill that dream and I would become useless in Kingdom Work. Was there a way to describe it watered down? Would they judge me? Would I become even more less than and unnecessary than I already felt...

If I couldn’t even understand what was happening to me, then how could I expect someone else to!? I felt crazy, how could they not think the same?! “I’ve lost my mind!” is a phrase I could relate to. And it didn’t mean I had become forgetful. When you feel like you’ve lost your mind, it’s scary. Your normal thought patterns and reasonings are lost. Once methodical and organized, two steps ahead of every need, you now find yourself scrambling to catch up and grab hold of a sound thought. It’s chaotic and uneasy. For a perfectionist like me, it pushed me to the edge of myself, feeling even more inadequate than before. Now, I was sure of it.

Every day I had to fight against the lies that God wasn’t there for me, He couldn’t hear me, He no longer had anymore patience, mercy or grace for me. My faith didn’t waver but my focus, patience and endurance did. Each day was not better than the other. Day after day I grew in my exasperation. I wanted to be healed and restored. Each prayer felt like an echo, bouncing back at me off the ceiling, my words empty and my hands weak. When would this end? How much longer could I take this torture?

One day in particular, at my wits end, exhausted, fearful, angry, I cried out desperate to God, almost demanding in my tone, “Please be with me. Where are You God? Why can’t You hear me?” A few minutes later as I sat in the middle of the floor of my play room trying to gather myself to get on with my day, I heard in my spirit to go to the front door so I did. I don't recall noticing a knock at the door and the beagle wasn't barking.

Opening the door, no one was standing there and no one was around the yard or in the street, but then I noticed a door hanger on my door. Weird. Normally my beagle hollers at intruders in the yard. I had just spent the past hour cleaning up (and talking to God) in the front playroom and never heard or saw anyone out the windows. The door hanger was from a new church coming to the area. You won’t believe what it said…in all caps..

”GOD CAN HEAR YOU JUST FINE.” 

What?!?! I stood taken back for a moment...in awe that He had not only sent me a divine message...but now I knew that He could really, really hear me. I knew that message was meant just for me. But that assurance was for a fleeting moment because my very next thought was, “Then if You CAN hear me why aren’t You helping me?!? Anger filled me, not joy. It was almost worse to know He actually could hear me but choose not to help me. 

I had been so desperate to hear Him, to feel Him, to get confirmation that He had not forgotten me or left me to this darkness consumed…and then He says He can hear me just fine. Ugh. My heart and stomach twisted inside me. My soul wept “Then why Lord….why?” Was He so done with me, this was the end? Had He had enough? Was I worth His time anymore? I figured I had nothing left to offer Him. I was at the end of me. I couldn’t fix me and if He wasn’t going to fix me, then I was useless, merely functioning as an empty shell, depleted, exhausted, scared, lonely and sad. I was frightened. I felt completely alone. And yet, there was life to manage inside my doors, inside my home, inside my church...inside my soul. 

A husband and 4 children who were counting on me to care for them, help them, cheer for them, provide for them. Little ones who couldn’t wait for Mommy to tuck them in and tickle their tummies and kiss them on their sweet cheeks as they let go of their day and submitted to sleep. Big kids needing help with homework, someone to talk to about their day and help them figure life-stuff out and of course to find their missing socks. And a husband who always needs my help! And how I wanted to be an Encourager in the Kingdom. I couldn't give up.  This is a battle I wouldn't win on my own. 

I prayed so deep and often, "God, strengthen me and engage me deep at my core....revive me and restore to me the joy of my salvation. Still my soul and steady my mind. There is nothing I want more than You."

Truth was, it was hard to stay joy-filled and energetic when I felt completely empty inside, but as I look back on this season, it was by the grace of God I was able to. At the time, it was me just gutting it through one hour at a time, longing for each morning’s mercies….and healing. In reality, it was He Who carried me and sustained every breath, every hug, every Mom moment, every day's laundry and to-dos as life went on day after day and I remained the same weeping soul. Grace helped and sustained me.

God was faithful even though it didn’t feel like it. He was near even though it didn’t seem He was.  Maybe this was my Moses moment, my Job moment. Was He testing my faith and trust in Him?

His Word tells us through and through, He is faithful, He loves us and is working for our good, to prosper and us and not harm us. Trials and tribulations are meant to burn off the old and make room for new growth. Pits and valleys are torturous but The Cross took on the pain and penalties for us. He took on all our suffering...for our good. 

        Next time you find your prayers hitting the ceiling, remain faithful and strong. Gather a few trustworthy people and ask them to intercede with you for this season. It'll help keep you strong as God reaches out to hug you through their prayers and presence. We always think it's an imposition to ask for help, and for a perfectionist, it's humbling but the fact is it is a blessing to be able to stand in the gap for another. This was part of the pruning I had to let go of too. 

Trials have so many layers and we will never know all the many things God is working in us and through us, despite us.

Friend, you are not alone. You are loved. You are heard. You are enough. You are seen. You are worth much. You have a purpose. Don't give up! Be still your soul and rest in Him.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 

and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, 

who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 

In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 

These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 

Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 

for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 

1 Peter 1:3-9 NIV