"We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies....
For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."
2 Corinthians 4:8-10,15-18
I bet you are wondering what happened...must have been a car accident right? Or a fall from the ladder? Something to impact nearly my whole body. June 3rd, I was shopping at my grocery store and encountered a puddle of water I did not see until I slipped and turned to see what had caused my Bambi Moment. A 4" puddle. Only a few hours later, my calf, hamstring, neck, shoulders, back, arch of left foot, left hand all ached. You wouldn't think this required much healing time but after 3 months of physical therapy to deal mostly with the upper back and neck muscles, my blood pressure starting spiking dangerously high during therapy. (The exhausting list grows.) She stopped therapy till an MRI could be done. A week into the process, my knee took a hit because of the weakening of the first twist.
Not able to lift heavy objects above a certain level, I take my kids with me to the store to help with the gallon milks and water packs. My daughter placed the 32 pack on the bottom of the cart all by her 11 year old self but it was really heavy for her too. The bulk hung over the edge of the cart a few inches and knowing I couldn't push it back without killing my neck, I attempted to push it back sideways with my foot, much like a soccer ball pass (I suppose that is why the Doctor calls it my Soccer Knee.) Unable to push it back, we both knelt down and slide it back. Months ago, none of this would have even been an issue for me to handle alone. I am not a tiny girl and am thankful to have been in decent shape physically over the years to be able to tackle big projects. How humbling to not be able to lift a gallon of milk over 12" into a cart without pain in my neck and collar bone. I could go on a pity tangent and share all the every day things I still have a hard time with lifting and weighted things like laundry, yard work and mopping and obviously grocery shopping...but I won't. I know there are those of you dealing with much more intense ailments and my heart sincerely goes out to you. Stay strong and don't give up! Praise God there is more to this life than this body!!
That evening I was getting into bed for the night and my knee felt squishy when I bent it. I knew I had stressed it on the water bottles, but I didn't think much about it. I was still icing my neck, and now I had an ice pack for my knee. R.I.C.E. once again for the hurting body part, another delay in the day, which turned into days upon days. Had an X-ray which led to the MRI of the knee (the neck is jealous) and now we know we have a sprained MCL and fluid, along with some degeneration that will have to be addressed.
I cannot bear full weight on my left knee and stairs are painfully painful and exhausting. I walk with a limp and a hobble although some days I can hide it better than others. Here I am now nearly 6 weeks into this knee recovery and my body is feeling weak and exasperated. Because of the "soccer" knee, every other muscle in my body has had to temporarily compensate, carrying the burden of the inability of my injured knee to function. I feel muscles pull and stress that I never even knew I had!
Even though this has been the most physically challenging season for me, don't ya know God has plans in it for my good! I am reminded of 2 things: 1.) we need each other and cannot live this life self-reliant; 2.) what we do impacts those around us, for good or bad. We are all connected in the Body and when one part hurts, we all feel the impact. For someone who is strong-willed and finds great joy in hospitality and encouraging others, it is very difficult for me to receive help, and yet this is something God continues to remind me of when I return to old habits and become self-reliant. I have no problem with teamwork. I have a problem with the team working for me! Big difference. I like to serve, not be served. But then God sets me up to re-learn this lesson once again...you are not supposed to do life independently. While we must not be dependent on others to meet our needs as only God can, God uses others to meet needs we didn't even know we had.
When my knee went out, the rest of my body carried the burden. What a blessing that it could or I would not have been able to walk and gotten things done. How humbling and convicting to remember that my choices, other peoples choices, impact those around you.
In the next blog, I will be discussing these impacts. I hope you will join me back here if this struck home with you as something you have struggled with yourself...not a knee injury, although bless your heart if you have, but the impact our "hurts" or the hurts of others, have on us that we may not even realize. See you soon!
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison! Blessings, Grace and Strength,
Michele
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