LOVE & GRACE

Why do I do that which I don't want to do? Why sometimes does it feel like such a HUGE gap between my heart and my head? My flesh and spirit have had some good, knock-down, drag-out fights over the years.

I worship the Lord of All, I am His child! God saves, He redeems. He shelters. He rescues. He gives strength. God loves us. He is sooooo very patient, merciful and gracious. He is sooo much bigger than ANY CIRCUMSTANCE we face!

My spirit is strong within me and I feel it, and yet, my flesh often consumes me. I can feel so courageous and cowaardly at the same time...maybe it's the hope for courage in my weakness. Maybe I need to get back on my counselor's couch...heehee

If I empty myself each morning to be filled back up again, it takes a strong discipline to control what I allow to fill me. I must surrender myself before GOD so that my flesh has no room. What does that look like for me? For me, it means BEFORE MY FEET HIT THE FLOOR in the morning, acknowledging that God is The God, my Loving Father, my Savior and Redeemer, my Healer and Leader for the day. Worshiping Him in truth and stepping into my day with the right mind-set, knowing who I am waking up for.

For those of you who have followed my blog from the beginning, you know my story, my testimony of God's saving grace and compassion (well, I hope you have found that throughout my sharing to be evident.) as He has delivered me fron the bondage of Fear. He certainly is far from done with me on MANY other areas, but I have been released from the consuming and controlling fear. Yes, I still get anxious and nervous when it comes to certain things.

Maybe this is my stubborness mixed with my desire to be set completely free, but I have asked God to give me "opportunities to grow", to challenge myself (gently please!!) in learning how to overcome circumstances or things that make me anxious- elevators, heights, boats, planes, high bridges, being away from home, conflicts, sharing my heart with others.....just to name a few! And He has- time after time, whether I was "in the mood" for it or not!! I find myself looking upwards and just laughing cuz He has a funny sense of humor in His funny ways He has provided me these opportunities!

Just this past weekend, I found myself facing a few anxiety-producing situations and I will share jone with you.It was on the plane. Okay, when you are peaceful and in a happy place, you wouldn't think of moving and disrupting the flow, right? Well, it was a 4 hour flight and after 2 hours I had to go! Yes, like-GO....potty! I did not want to get out of my bubble, all was good and I was afraid that I would loose my calmness. So, I waited another hour, but then I really had to GO! My husband said he would go with me, and just as we unbuckled our belts the Fasten Seat Belts warning came on for upcoming turbulance. Greeeeaaaat! The Stewardess walked by and we asked if we could still get up and go and she replied, "It will be at your own risks." Two years ago, that would have induced an anxiety attack in a second! Turbulance plus "your own risk." BUT OFF WE WENT!!! Bound and determined to go. I have made the decision to not be bound but live and do what I need to do!

This was probably only the 2nd time in my life I had used an airplane bathroom. It scares me, really! The flushing-power could pull down a human and dump you into the skies below!!! Maybe if it was quieter it wouldn't be so terrifying. So, I did it....my famous Warrior Pee! Trusting God, even in THIS, to protect my mind.

It sounds so silly to most, but when you are afraid, going against logic is a no-no. But my faith is fueling my trust where I am trusting for my peace and grace to provide in every circumstance!

I am so thankful to be out of that life where Fear dictated everything, how I felt and what I did. The truth HAS set me free and it can set you free too! The truth is found in God's word. Whatever you are facing, you will find your hope, strength, encouragement, peace and grace in God. Sure, you can try temporary pleasures but nothing will set you free except for God. Pills, alcohol, food, starvation are temporary fixes, unhealthy ones at that. You can also, run away and ignore your feelings, only to have to face them when you are done running.

Freedom is only found through and in Christ Jesus. He is Healer. He will be your Comforter, your Protector. Choose to trust Him despite what your flesh thinks or feels. I could go on and on but I have another post to finish up.

Your tomorrow's healing and help can begin today. Start now! TRUST GOD's LOVE & GRACE!!!

Seek first the Kingdom of God. Matt 6:33