Our family recently joined Lifetime Fitness which is a HUGE gym, much a like a country club in its design and amenities. We feel very spoiled and are loving the family time it has given us as we share activities such as swimming and rock climbing together, along with working out with the big boys upstairs. It's become more of a lifestyle of togetherness and health. We've enjoyed it much!The Kids Club is wonderful and the little ones never want to leave even after their 2 hour time limit. Half the time we go, it's because they are insisting we go! Their favorite treat right now is the rock climbing wall. the first time they scaled it, it was with apprehension and a very slow pace. Now, they lock in and they are up within a minute and back down again, ready for the next climb!
I LOVE watching them climb. To see their courage grow as their muscles get a good workout to say the least. I hook each one into their harness and lock them in and give them a slight lift onto the first holds, then they are on their own. I stand cheering safely from the ground keeping a watchful eye as they near the ceiling which must be 3 stories up. WOW!!! All smiles.
I've climbed that wall in my head, imagining what it must be like but honestly, while part of me is not sure how my elbow will hold up, I am also pretty nervous about falling. Nope, haven't seen one person fall...I trust it for my children, but for some reason I hadn't made the climb for me yet. I have soooo enjoyed just watching and helping guide from below. Also, everyone climbing these walls know what they are doing and are physically fit to do it.
Here I am a flabby 40 year old (eventhough I feel younger than that in my heart and mind) and I cannot imagine first, the image of my booty bulging out of the booty harness, an area I try very hard to HIDE, not expose!!! And second, how clumsy will I be?!? What if I can't even get up onto the wall?!? That would be totally embarrassing. So, I choose the Observer position, and perfectly happily there!!Well, that was until this week. My teen brought me a harness and said, " Here Mom, your turn." With a big grin, I chuckled, "Oh no. I couldn't. I'm good, thank you." Pushing the harness in my face, he insisted. I hadn't shared any reasons why I didn't think I could do it. I knew some were convenient excuses and at his age, he'd see right through them too. He is aware of my slight fear of heights and all things daring. He dared me. A lot of fear and little bit of pride had kept me off that wall and my son was calling me out. I harnessed up. He tightened my straps. He locked me in, just as I had done a hundred times for all 4 of them.
I tried to stop imagining my booty bulge. I tried to remember that my little kids were doing it and so should I be as capable. Determined, I took the first climb up with his encouragement. He said, " Just don't look down, keep going just like a ladder. All the way." He cheered me on and kept me focused. There were a few times I wanted to look down to see where I was, but I knew that'd be a bad idea, so I kept my eyes focused on the next hold...where did my hand go next? My foot? I did notice the depth below me but I didn't look. One grab at a time, I made it up. "Good job Mom! Now jump back and come down." WHAT?!?!?!? I have to get down!!!! Oh no!!!!!! PANIC!!! What if I fall? Where my straps on right? Fearful and doubting thoughts flooded my mind...I remember thinking the same thing when I was pregnant...the pregnancy was a delight but then the last few weeks you begin to face reality that some 8lb (one was 10lbs!!!) watermelon-sized object was about to pass through you know where and that just doesn't make sense and all of a sudden seems impossible and panic erupts, how in the world????? There I sat at the same intellectual crossroad. How in the world.
I'd seen everyone else jump back with great control. But what about me...did I do my clips right? I was clinging so close to the wall, I couldn't look down to check them. My belly was up against the wall. I slowly began to climb down one step at a time, hearing from below, just jump back!! Did I trust what I knew to be fact, that others had done this, that I had made it all the way up, that I knew I was harnessed in correctly, that jumping back was the right way to get down that Jack in the Beanstalk high wall. With a deep breath of pure faith, I let go of one hand at a time and released the wall through my last finger. It was slow motion as my mind raced but my body repelled steadily down. Such a crazy experience emotionally and physically. I believed, therefore I acted.My nervous-anxious smile became a rejoicing-happy-to-be-alive-can't-believe-I-made-it smile!!!
Together, we walked over to the other "Kiddie" climb, climbing side by side, I made it half way up, then I I hit a pitch and gracefully and humbly came back down. I wasn't ready for the little necessary jump. The employee came over to me and instructed me to get back up and go again. I said politely NO! My body and mind had accomplished great things already and I was done!! He scaled up that wall to show me the holds and as he jumped down he bluntly said, not asked, but said, "You have trust issues. You have to trust your equipment. You have to clear out the doubt in your head, knowing this is all a mental game, not physical. You must learn to trust."
Had he been reading my blog? Did he read minds? I'm kidding, but obviously God was using this young man to call out my fear and doubt. It's true that I have trust issues. While I have come a really long way, trust goes deeper than we can know. Like ants building up their mounds one grain at a time, every hurt, a small bit of a wall begins to build and before we know it, we have a mound that must be brought down, again!
When we are betrayed, trust can be lost with that person and because we are commanded to forgive as Believers, we forgive and allow the restoration process to begin. Love Hopes and keeps no record of wrongs, and yet there are consequences that scars mark.
God allows things in our lives to bring us closer to Him. Great blessing or devastating hurts, all ought to cause us to fall at the feet of the Cross where Covenant blood covers and holds us, binding us closer to Him. God is love, hope, courage, peace, comfort and healing. Revenge is His. Redemption is His. So, although we may have lost a sense of trust with another person, we can not and must be careful to never transfer those feelings to Christ our Savior, who has faithfully stood on that Hill for us from the beginning of time and stands waiting to come again. He is trustworthy.God will never leave you or forsake you. We cannot always make sense of what's going on in our circumstances but we must act on what true, and trust what we know, that God sits on the throne. He sees us. He has a plan for us. God is Alpha and Omega, without time. He has been where we are going and walks beside us now. There is nothing that escapes Him eventhough our minds may race thinking otherwise, even with perfect logic to believe otherwise. Satan wants you to be overcome with fear cuz nothing stops a person in their tracks faster than for them to fear and freeze!!
A fearful, doubting person retreats. A courageous, trusting person moves forward. Which direction do you want to go? If you have faith, you will move forward as you cling tightly to The Rock. If you fear, you will fall.
No matter what wall you must climb today, won't you trust the equipment God has given you in His Word? The armor to battle and conquer? Harness up, lock in and step up, eyes forward to the next hold. One hold at a time, one step at a time, carefully and intentionally moving forward, till you make it to the other side. Hear the cheers of those who have gone before you and even stand with you now, encouraging, cheering, focusing you...now. You...must...trust. You must have faith in what you trust. Love Hopes. Do you?
Scriptures to reflect on:
Ephesians 6: 10-13 "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 13Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm."
Proverbs 3:5-8 " Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. 7 Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. 8 It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones."
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