How do you dress-up to cover-up?

Does your external self (appearance, characteristics) dictate or identify the internal self (heart, soul, mind)? If you are like me, then you would have to admit that there are times when you secretly hope that it does cuz what's happening on the inside is a hot mess but if I can just put on the perfect looking outside, then everyone will think I am "perfect" on the inside too. That was soooo me and something I still fight against.
I have a friend who is what you'd say is "Cute as a button!" She has a cute hair cut, always rightfully dressed, a cheerful smile that lights up a whole room, is physically fit, she's tan to which her blue eyes just radiate and pierce you. She really is "cute as a button." But then she says, "I have big, flat, ugly feet!"as she slides her foot back. And then she says her hair is a mess. I think to myself, "Really?!? What mirror is she looking at? What in the world is she thinking?! She is b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l, inside and out!!" I don't see her ugly flat feet or messed up hair. I see a beautiful woman who is has a heart of gold, a heart that beats for her Lord, a spirit of passion and energy, a woman with fire under her soul to love and serve God and others purely, a woman of hospitality, a devoted wife and mother. I mean really......who's looking at her feet? Well, she is. 
Thankfully for this sweet friend, her identity is not wrapped up in her outward appearance, even though it's a close match in my opinion, gorgeous in and out. There is a difference in caring about how you look which we all should care about how we present ourselves physically and materially before others as mentioned in 2 Timothy 2:8-10 "I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness--with good works." But it ought not identify us. 
For me, I have a long list of my attributes that I would have adjusted if I felt like it was okay for me to do, such as my nose, my ears, my eyes, my gut, my skin, my legs...just to name a few. Growing up as a young girl with severe cystic acne that kept me out of school for days at a time depending on the flare up or treatment days, (oh, and don't forget...with braces), my outward appearance was something I actually was shamed and embarrassed by. I would spend lots of time in front of the mirror, disgusted, trying to mask it, so I could look normal and be accepted by others. Surely if my appearance was less than, they would see me as less than. It sounds ridiculous to say that now as an adult, because I know that is not true; however, for a teen girl who already feels insecure and inadequate, having to then deal with the outward imperfections could only draw attention to my internal weaknesses and imperfections. So, I believed and here, the cover up began. I concerned myself with dressing up the outward to compensate and distract from what was underneath, which was a physical and emotional mess. I only allowed myself to be "real" at home where I was safe from the judgement of others. No wonder I was a home-body! 
I lived under that assumption for many, many years and to this day, I have to guard myself against going back to thinking those same, irrational thoughts. Our outside certainly does not define our inside. It certainly may affect me, but it certainly does not define me! 1 Samuel 16:7 reminds us that God looks at our hearts. "But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart." 
There are always going to be the few Joan Rivers types that pick apart everyone. Some people are just very critical of others' intentions or looks. I am sure there is someone out there that could detail every blemish of my beautiful friend that I do not see, cuz they have judging eyes. And same for me, I could find someone to verify my imperfections. But when we seek to see as God sees, we see people's hearts, just as He does. Big nose, flat feet, pimples, scars, lumpy thighs are not what God is judging or identifying me by. 
Now, I live in freedom from that bondage of judgement and worry. My identity has been identified and found in Christ. I am not consumed by portraying my identity anymore, but rather hoping my heart portrays my identity, who I am in Christ, the real me! A bad hair day and a huge pimple on my face definitely puts a damper on my day, but it no longer rules me. I am so very thankful for friends who encourage me in being real from the inside-out. I no longer need to hear "You are pretty." I need to hear, "You are His!" and that's all that matters!!!!
Who I am in Christ is the real me, despite what I do or say. I can dress up and tell the world I am perfect or that I am a complete screw-up and both would be a lie. While I may feel that way, the truth is found in Christ: I am a new creation. I have His saving power and strength within my soul that fills in the gaps of my weaknesses. I was thought valuable enough to die for. I am redeemed and forgiven for all my sin. I may not love well, but I am loved very well! Regardless of who I say I am or what anyone else thinks I am, God sees my heart- the good, the bad and the ugly and yet He still claims me as His daughter forever. Wow! 
And bottom line...He gave His one and only Son, not to make me pretty, but so I could have a new heart and live forever and ever and ever with Him. I must be special cuz FOREVER is a loooooong time. 
The same is true for YOU!!!! You are special and worth dying for and the King of the Universe, the Creator of all things, wants to live with you for all eternity....not because you are pretty, but because your heart is His!!!! Ashes to ashes, heart to heart. 
(And for my sweet friend who thinks her feet and hair are messed up...you're wrong. You are beautiful head to toe, inside and out!!)
Thank You Lord, for Your grace is sufficient!!!!! There is none like You!!!!

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him. " 

John 3:16-17

Confessions of a Perfectionist

Hi. My name is Michele and I am a Recovering Perfectionist.
Do you know one? Are you one? Well, I was...I am a Recovering Perfectionist. It has been a long journey of discovery about myself, my God and my "others." While this could be expounded out to a book, I will do my best to simply share a tidbit from my heart today.
As a Perfectionist we have a great energy about us, always working hard, focused, attentive, a take charge kind of person, and we have really good hearts. It is at the core of our souls to do good, to do right, to give it our all. It then becomes the "why" and "how it works itself out" that matters, for even a non-perfectionist has the same "want to do good heart." It comes down to the motivation of that good heart.
For some of us, it is rooted in fear. Out of fear...of judgement or failure, we desire perfection in every area of our life - marriage, parenting, serving, in the workplace, our relationships and even...even within our walk with God. We are all about the doing it right because of reputation of self rather than reflection of grace. Then there are some of us trying to compensate for our insecurities by "over-doing" everything right. For others, it is purely because we like order and control. Our homes are very clean and organized and everything has a place, not a bad thing except is is to be done the "perfect" way...their way.
Ya'll know I am not a counselor, so I say this out of observation within my own life, perfectionistic people tend to be very controlling. Because our hearts are in the right place, being motivated at the core to "do good" and "make things better" we look like the "perfect" person at a quick glance as one who has it all together. They are smiling constantly, always working hard. I used to find myself smiling on the outside and crying on the inside. I was very good at wearing the "mask of controlled grace." Inside I was stir crazy, making sure the Perfect smile, my perfect children, my perfect marriage, my perfect life.... appeared to be and was indeed...perfect.
It is exhausting trying to be perfect. You are constantly consumed with checking and double checking everything, everything that you do as well as expecting perfection from everyone else. And there were numerous times I avoided certain projects and even people for fear of letting them down, in case I messed up. Fear hidden inside every decision, every step outside the front door, consuming every thought of being perfect. I'm exhausted just thinking about it again!!
Can I just tell you how much freedom there is in NOT trying to be perfect!?! Just that decision alone has lessened my stress levels of constant worry and fear and over-thinking. I love not being perfect! I am less defensive, less offended, more open to do and give and free to be ME!! Life doesn't seem to feel so demanding or harsh anymore.
If someone has ever told you to "Take a chill pill," that might be your first clue that you need to!! You will also find yourself less frustrated with others because you have removed from them your high expectation of perfection.

My kids laugh when I make mistakes now, because it's a "normal" thing, and it actually encourages them to be more ambitious because they know that if they try and fail, they can try again, because the GRACE OF GOD covers us and we ALL fail sometimes.
As a recovering Perfectionist, I have learned:

• perseverance: never giving up out of fear of failing or judgement
• patience:as I learn how to deal with my failures and the failure of others
• humility: sharing the mistakes and turning them in to testimonies of endurance. 
• And at the core of it all, I have learned to receive: living in Grace. I release all my fears into His hands to work in, through and for me, my marriage, my family, my ministry, my friendships, my every day dealings.

The first step to stop being Perfectionistic is to admit you are one. Then, learn to walk in Grace, forgiving yourself and others for their mistakes/failures, trusting the fact that God will glorify HIS perfection through you and not of you. It is the Spirit of God who is worthy of our praise!! We can honor God in our weaknesses..."But He said to them, My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Cor 12:9
And if you have a Perfectionist in your life, "truth in love" tell them it's okay if they aren't "perfect" rather the very best they can be or do. Likely, they will first be defensive and say they aren't but deep inside, they know their inner fear but will secretly want to breath a breathe of relief, exhaling all their controlled breaths.
In our relationships, let's give each other permission to make a mistake (not permissions to sin). Accept each other in Grace. Let's fear the approval of God over the approval of man!!
Friend, His grace is sufficient for you. May the power of God rest upon you! Live YOU!!!!!