Confessions of a Perfectionist

Hi. My name is Michele and I am a Recovering Perfectionist.
Do you know one? Are you one? Well, I was...I am a Recovering Perfectionist. It has been a long journey of discovery about myself, my God and my "others." While this could be expounded out to a book, I will do my best to simply share a tidbit from my heart today.
As a Perfectionist we have a great energy about us, always working hard, focused, attentive, a take charge kind of person, and we have really good hearts. It is at the core of our souls to do good, to do right, to give it our all. It then becomes the "why" and "how it works itself out" that matters, for even a non-perfectionist has the same "want to do good heart." It comes down to the motivation of that good heart.
For some of us, it is rooted in fear. Out of fear...of judgement or failure, we desire perfection in every area of our life - marriage, parenting, serving, in the workplace, our relationships and even...even within our walk with God. We are all about the doing it right because of reputation of self rather than reflection of grace. Then there are some of us trying to compensate for our insecurities by "over-doing" everything right. For others, it is purely because we like order and control. Our homes are very clean and organized and everything has a place, not a bad thing except is is to be done the "perfect" way...their way.
Ya'll know I am not a counselor, so I say this out of observation within my own life, perfectionistic people tend to be very controlling. Because our hearts are in the right place, being motivated at the core to "do good" and "make things better" we look like the "perfect" person at a quick glance as one who has it all together. They are smiling constantly, always working hard. I used to find myself smiling on the outside and crying on the inside. I was very good at wearing the "mask of controlled grace." Inside I was stir crazy, making sure the Perfect smile, my perfect children, my perfect marriage, my perfect life.... appeared to be and was indeed...perfect.
It is exhausting trying to be perfect. You are constantly consumed with checking and double checking everything, everything that you do as well as expecting perfection from everyone else. And there were numerous times I avoided certain projects and even people for fear of letting them down, in case I messed up. Fear hidden inside every decision, every step outside the front door, consuming every thought of being perfect. I'm exhausted just thinking about it again!!
Can I just tell you how much freedom there is in NOT trying to be perfect!?! Just that decision alone has lessened my stress levels of constant worry and fear and over-thinking. I love not being perfect! I am less defensive, less offended, more open to do and give and free to be ME!! Life doesn't seem to feel so demanding or harsh anymore.
If someone has ever told you to "Take a chill pill," that might be your first clue that you need to!! You will also find yourself less frustrated with others because you have removed from them your high expectation of perfection.

My kids laugh when I make mistakes now, because it's a "normal" thing, and it actually encourages them to be more ambitious because they know that if they try and fail, they can try again, because the GRACE OF GOD covers us and we ALL fail sometimes.
As a recovering Perfectionist, I have learned:

• perseverance: never giving up out of fear of failing or judgement
• patience:as I learn how to deal with my failures and the failure of others
• humility: sharing the mistakes and turning them in to testimonies of endurance. 
• And at the core of it all, I have learned to receive: living in Grace. I release all my fears into His hands to work in, through and for me, my marriage, my family, my ministry, my friendships, my every day dealings.

The first step to stop being Perfectionistic is to admit you are one. Then, learn to walk in Grace, forgiving yourself and others for their mistakes/failures, trusting the fact that God will glorify HIS perfection through you and not of you. It is the Spirit of God who is worthy of our praise!! We can honor God in our weaknesses..."But He said to them, My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Cor 12:9
And if you have a Perfectionist in your life, "truth in love" tell them it's okay if they aren't "perfect" rather the very best they can be or do. Likely, they will first be defensive and say they aren't but deep inside, they know their inner fear but will secretly want to breath a breathe of relief, exhaling all their controlled breaths.
In our relationships, let's give each other permission to make a mistake (not permissions to sin). Accept each other in Grace. Let's fear the approval of God over the approval of man!!
Friend, His grace is sufficient for you. May the power of God rest upon you! Live YOU!!!!!