Overcoming Social Anxiety as an Introvert

As an introvert, annnndd if you struggle with insecurity, doesn’t mean you have to skip out on socials and events. Let's Chat....grab your coffee...it's Sister Time.

I used to avoid going anywhere alone, especially if it was new to me, even if it was an event at my own church. I didn’t wanna show up in an unknown space. Not knowing who would be there or what to expect! I missed out on a LOT of love and experiences until I learned it was a good idea to buddy up and not miss out on what could be a blessings!!

With time and healing and some awesome Sisters willing to "hold my hand" and be my Event Buddy, I learned to be courageous and confident enough to go out alone. ALONE! It feels embarrassing to say that because soooo many people don't even think twice about going places alone....not sure whether to blame shyness, insecurity, fear...but I blame the enemy. 

I used to sit in the shame and feeling less-than-ness. I saw myself as somehow weak and lacking. I wanted so badly to be vivacious and fun and extroverted but it wasn't me and trying to be was soooo draining and exhausted me. Knowing it would take so much energy to "keep up and get out" I simply limited the amount of times I did it.

Anyone else?!?

Now, all these years later, here I am wanting to host events for people who are scared to be there! Funny how God works!!! Sure, depending on the event, I get butterflies, but it's not fear based. 

I actually enjoy going out to new places, seeing new things, trying new things and feeling alive and joyful walking in the anticipation God is revealing His glory through me, for my benefit or overcoming and victory also knowing I can't help but shout out the praise and use it as an encouragement for someone else!

Some may call it a mid-life crisis when you see us over 50's stepping out and doing new things. I think it's more about mid-life crunch time...we recognize it's time to DO THE THINGS because we just sat through intermission and it's the 2nd Act and it's almost Finale time.

I want YOU to avoid missing out on timely appointments and enjoyments and walk in courage and joy every single day, JUST AS YOU ARE!!!

Here are a few quick tips:

I look for ways to volunteer beforehand if it’s an event of any kind. Otherwise, standing in the back, not shaming myself, looking for ways to help serve others while there.

If you are still needing a Buddy, Get One!! Have a buddy so attention can be deflected as needed. Be sure to let your friend know your level of anxiety or nervousness to step in if they see you struggle.

No sugars or caffeine’s that day (or few days before) to ignite adrenals, instead camomile tea and vitamins.

Lavender oil is always good to have on you as well as inhaling the hour before, and during! I use diffuser bracelets too. (Link to the one I have used since 2008)

Guard your energy before and during with Prayer. Deep breathes, enjoy conversations that uplift and bring you joy. Move away from the drama if you walk up on it or if you begin feeling depleated. Sometimes a little bathroom break or stepping outside for a minute helps with that fresh breath.

Worship the Lord with every breath and count your blessings! Continually praise and say Thank you Lord for...

Look for ways to distract your mind and serve in some way. Something as simple as holding a door or paying compliments is so valuable.

Don’t miss out on life. Open up and release the fear of the unknown, fear of rejection. Trust and Faith. He is there with you mountain top or valley low, in your city or out in the wilderness. His heart is near!!

Sister, remember this, it's not always about YOU! Perhaps the Lord has invited YOU into this space to bless. Don't miss out on those Divine Appointments and Enjoyments! Walk with eager anticipation.

Feel free to share any social tips you have too!! There are many ways to cope and prepare, these are my basics!!! Love to hear yours!

It's Time!! Let's Go in Love and Faith!!! He is able to do exceedingly more than you can imagine!

Hugs, High 5's and Blessings! 

Yo Big Sister Shell

Trusting God's Plan for Your Life : Views On The Golf Course

Hole 1. 

Not wanting to get in his way, I sat back in the golf cart taking in the scenery, watching my man-child study his million dollar shot on the fairway. I didn’t care if he hit it off into the other side of the course on Hole 6. I was loving just being there.

So, I climbed out of the cart and would stand up and watch it and half the time I lost it in the sky. 

He'd holler over, “Did ya see that?!?” Yes, I saw it on the tee, but then I lost it against the blue sky drenched with white puffy clouds.

After a few missed viewings he called me over to the green, “Come here Mama.” He said, “Stand right next to me and you will be able to watch the ball from where I stand and see where it goes.” I felt kinda awkward standing there in my blue jeans, flip flops with big ol camera in hand. But, he was right. The view and perception were grand! 

Standing closer, I could actually see the ball take flight. Some zipped straight down the middle while there were a few that spliced off to the left. 

What a wonderful moment and a perfect view! I could see his facial expressions as he focused and was taking aim. I noticed the slight adjustments his body made as he positioned himself on the course. I felt the hush, the determination, the power of his swing.

And then I watched as he executed the full body twist and swing. What an adrenaline rush to be so close and feel what he feels, see what he sees. Guess where I stood for the rest of the time...yep, just behind him. There was no better view than his!

When we draw close to God, we have the same thrill and advantage as we position ourselves for the perfect view. 

Just as my son didn't explain to me where he would send the ball, God doesn’t always explain the path to us either. We stand with Him because we desire to see what He sees and we trust His intentions appreciating the closeness more than the outcome.

How true it is when we draw closer seeking our Lord that we find the joy of seeing His expressions of grace and love, compassion and mercy. The closer we get, the clearer we see the slight changes in His direction as He leads us along still waters, through valleys from glory to glory. We can feel His intensity and power. 

Nothing on this side of Heaven is more thrilling to me than seeing God do His thing, from His creation to His compassion. He is wonderful Savior, beautiful Counselor and Mighty Warrior. 

There is none like Him and we are each invited to stand next to Him, to see a view much grander than from the sidelines.

Yes, it may feel awkward and you may feel out of place at times when God calls you up to the greens, but I promise you, you will not regret the view! 

(And, by the way, up on the greens is where you can better see the sand pits, water dangers and gators on the banks! Trust me, you want to be on The Greens!)

Matthew 7:7-8 ESV 

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 

For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened."

Psalm 23 

"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 

He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. 

He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever."

Living in the Space of Grace : Mom Tips to Overcome Overwhelm

I didn't used to count the stars at night, or watch the trees blow outside the window. I didn't used to pay attention to the incredible colors of a sunset or glowing moonlight across the waters or open skies. I was much too busy for that...until one day I had to.

It was a season of young Mom life, miscarriages, raising 4 kiddos, serving in the church, serving my family, taking care of my household as a Stay at Home Mama. The Lord brought a season of stillness but it wasn't the stillness I imagined or would ever have hoped for.

This stillness was the calm before the storm...then the storm came....then the rebuilding season began.

It was a hustle and a hoot to live life in my skin. I volunteered, served, lunched, exercised, wash/fold/put up laundry for 6 people, shopping, cooking, cleaning, hugging, settling, sorting, writing and Bible Study, day after day, never giving myself permission to take a break. 

I worked hard in my home with an outward smile on my face exuding from the blessing of being a Mommy even though some days I was exhausted and exasperated. This was my dream to become a Mom.

Some days I didn't even know what day it was! The flow was a constant, controlled chaos. This is the biggest part of Motherhood people don't tell you. 

I powered through the exhaustion because I knew what I had signed up for, lol! This is what it is to have 4 kids...its the calling of motherhood...it's' the contentment of being a Christian, believing I could do all things and His grace would be enough.

I thought everything was under control until that day my heart leaped so far out of my chest a shock wave pinged down my left arm. The deeper of a breath I drew, the deeper the pain. I felt like I could not breath.

I was a do-gooder all my life, focused intensely on being a perfect Christian Mom, Wife, Friend, Neighbor that the Name of God would be honored thinking my own value was being validated as I walked by faith and joy, perseverance, integrity, self-sacrifice and commitment, with the desire to represent what a faith life serving God looked like. Only to learn many mature years later, I already had value...my value was established on the cross when Jesus died for me.

The pressure I put on myself to strive for perfection in every area of my life was a scheme of the enemy of twisted truths on how I ought to glorify God in my little address on this planet and anything less than perfect or positive, was sinful and shaming. 

Satan is the father of lies and he is slick. He has been at this since the beginning of time with me not being his first victim. It took time for me to get it but I finally realized the hamster wheel I was on.

Through this storm, God allowed crushing waves and strong winds to wash away the sludge covering My Foundation, exposing the real truths about God's heart, and mine.

I could see I was a slave to perfection and fear, and these chains could be released in Jesus Name. It took some time, but they were dissolved, amen! 

I learned God was more concerned about my heart than my actions, so I learned to love Him better and because of His Love and Heart for me, I could learn to better love myself and others with all the grace.

I learned how to live in a space of purposeful Grace....

Grace to give all I had, without depleting self.

Grace to serve every need within my potential.

Grace to accept the fact I was enough just as I was to be accepted and loved by Him and others.

Grace to create a space in my every day for meditation, worship, play and caring for my home.

Grace to serve from my heart, not my ability to be all and do all for the all, always!

I learned grace upon grace for every single part of my life beginning with the heart of God for me.

This fresh breath of dwelling in grace became a healing balm to my weary and wrecked soul. In my newly found space of grace, I learned to find quiet moments in the day to exhale the toxins built up within my heart and soul and no longer scramble and hustle past, Grace Himself. 

It's not like any of the responsibilities went away. I was still there, Married to the same guy, Mom to the same kids, living where I had been for years doing all the things. 

Navigating a storm and rebuilding after takes discipline and accountability. 

It took seeing the lies of the enemy, seeking truth and surrendering to hope and faith, trusting He would never let me go and sustain me, going before me, alongside means after me, my refuge and strength.

I released false expectations of what I thought I should do and be to be accepted, included and valued. 

I refused to believe God created me for a crazy cycle of chores and failures, highs and lows, busyness and living life on auto-pilot, constant hustling in order to achieve the next person's expectation of me, including the one I had placed on myself of being the "perfect" wife, friend, Mom or representation of a Perfect God when my weaknesses were the display of God's grace in which I learned to boast.

Jeremiah 29: 11-14a NIV "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity."

Day by day it became easier as my body, mind and soul did the healing work within, the release of stress and hidden anguish of a life that didn't feel valuable or important. 

The calm has power to overshadow the chaos as much as the chaos has power to overshadow the calm. It's your choice to choose. I highly recommend you choose Calm!

You will never be the same when you learn to embrace Grace. It changes you because it's no longer about you..it's about Jesus and His glory, His timing, His strength. My soul renewed day by day with a calmness and anticipation knowing He was closer than I knew He could be. He showed me His heart and I've constantly handed mine over to Him since to hold, cleanse, care for and replenish. 

Lamentations 3: 17-27 NIV "I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is. So I say, “My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the LORD.” I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. 

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.” The LORD is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him;"

Our lives were not meant for chaos or cleanliness. Life and love are as messy as the Cross, blood spilled out over all the earth that day. 

We are created to worship, where we are, how we are, as we are. To love Him with all our heart, mind, soul and strength (Deuteronomy 6:5). No, it's not easy to trust and praise Him in the storm. Storms are chaotic and unraveling...but there His heart is...in the unraveling of fear.

Whatever your life season, may I remind you to breath and make room for Grace in your day. 

Let the Lord be that healing balm of mercy washing over your schedule, suffering and service to your God, your family, your church and community. You may be able to pound out the hours and heal all the hurts, accomplish every task asked of you, but if you do not set aside time to exchange love with The One who loves you mostest in all the world, you will find yourself gasping for air. Seek Him first and always. Sit with Him. 2 minutes, 5 minutes, 30 minutes...don't steal those minutes, guard them.

Move yourself outside and take those deep breaths. Count the stars, watch the rise or fall of the sun, see the tiny details of the petals in your yard, catch the glimmer of hope in your loved one's eye. Snuggle close, forgive the offense. Pace yourself in Grace. Smell it's fresh air, for it is Good. Because God is good and He loves you. Taste and See.

Show the world your Grace, not your gumption. Grace is a Gift everyone needs. 

Remember you can't give what you don't have. Find it and share it.

Helping Moms Pack the Travel Bag for the Holidays: The Holiday Series

If the last few years haven't taught us much, two things are for sure: We sure do need to Love Like Jesus and We Must Have our Must Haves.

I don't know about where you live but I live in the Florida Keys. I had lived in Houston, Texas until these past 8 years close to any shopping mall, grocery store (shout out to THE BEST HEB), restaurant, gas station or clinic I could ever need. Here, we live by weather and Amazon. It's true.

When the world shut down, clinics closed, pharmacies lay empty shelves, and resources dwindled, I was forever grateful for my things to keep our family healthy most of all. In times of crisis, it's the toilet paper, water and medicines that seem to evaporate. I see this during hurricane season too.

I am a Mom, and maybe the need to be prepared with the Diaper Bag is just forever my vibe. I miss those days of having a valid excuse to have the Mary Poppins Bag of Hope...now it's just the big Mothership purse always nearby. Or it could be the anxiety driven thought life I have lived all my life, needing to have what I need and not depend on someone else to get it for me.

If you have followed me for a few years, you already know Essential oils have been a part of my life since 2005-ish. Peppermint in my coffee, peppermint for achy muscles, peppermint for the diffuser, oh, and for fevers...it was amazing and affordable! That was a huge factor too as a Mom of 4 kiddos. And lavender, the best thing for sleep and skin!! Don't let me start chasing rabbits y'all...this is a blog, not a class, teehee! 

It wasn't until 2008, I learned essential oils could be used for anxiety, to calm the heart flipping out inside my chest.To help me sleep. To help me pray deeper, with focus and serenity. Magic Oils? Genie in the Bottle? No and No.

I believe God gave us His creation to care for us and we have much to learn. I do believe there is a place for pharmaceutical resources, not here to reject that just so we are clear. God gives medical personal and scientists the knowledge they need to create for us, help, be it from nature or the lab.

I love being able to reach into the Bag of all Bags and have instant access to help when I need it for me or my family, or a friend. I don't even pretend to know all there is to know about essential oils or enzymes and supplements, But I know what I know and believe what I see and hear from others too.

Here's WHY I am sharing this with you: My passion and purpose is to empower and encourage and hopefully help you overcome insecurity in trying new things. To not be afraid to learn and experiment. I am blown away at how much these have helped heal and support me physically, emotionally and spiritually. My Affiliate links are things you will need to buy. But I can offer you a FREEBIE resource that I use all the live long day....prayer! Oils and Prayers are 2 powerful weapons! 

I created a few bundles specific to issues like skin and stress so I wanted to share my on the go ones with you. Many oils are multifaceted which means they have tons of benefits and can cross over to support body and mind. They are beautiful!

So as you prepare for the Holidays, I am asking you to consider preparing your Bag of Bags with some items beyond the typical goodies, tissues, bandaids and toys and grab some things that will support you in your body, and your mind. Grab what you want from the bundle and build up as finances allow. Some of the company Starter bundles are also great to consider to get more bang fro your buck and try even more new things! 

And no, that doesn't mean you have to start selling them, just get them in your home if it's speaking to you to experience.

Here is my Travel Bundle, always on me when I leave the house overnight. If you've ever travelled with me, you know! I hope it helps you serve your heart and those around you.

I think I understand why people don't mind hugging me all these years....it's the oils infusing their hearts as we embrace in kindness and sincere love.

Hugs and Blessings over all the world as we learn to pivot, plan, prepare, and purpose in peace, not panic.

Let me know if you have any questions! Feel free to check out the oils resource tab to learn more and find even more of my favorite things as I begin building my list of helpful things!