I remember when the kids were newborns and I would be so grateful for the moments they fell asleep on my chest because I was "forced" to have to lay still with them so they could rest so deep. I cherished those still moments because once the wiggle began, it was feeding and cleaning time and Mama was up and running...until the next nap. I admit that with my first child, I would feel guilty "just laying there not being productive" but I knew in my heart these moments were valuable, but I still felt like I should be up doing something since my hands were free. It didn't take long for me to discipline myself to be still and I soon took great pleasure in a few cuddles each day.
Then came child #2 after experiencing a miscarriage and I enjoyed the cuddles a little bit longer and learned to pace myself better throughout the day. After 2 more Angel Babies kissed my heart and went back to their Father in Heaven, God gave me my first Princess. I had to wait in line to cuddle this little Pink Diva. Between Daddy, 2 brothers and family and friends, I held her and sat staring at her soft pink skin and dark blue eyes, dainty fingers and toes and oh....those puckering lips. I quickly learned to live with a few dishes in the sink so I could enjoy my 3 gifts. After missing out on holding my Angel Babies, I cherished every moment with the ones I could hold. Then God gave us Gift #4 and boy did everything slow down. Some days were soooo long while other days whipped by and didn't make it to the shower till late! It came down to choices I made throughout the day and how I chose to start my day before my day really began. Jesus and coffee make my days great!!
I was blessed with 4 sweet cuddle bugs and every year they grew outside the frame of my lap, they just scooted in as close as they could. Now, they like to squish me and think it's funny.
I have learned balance in my choices for each new day. Every new season of life whether it's a new family member joining the clan, or the loss of one, a new job, illness, a move, as circumstances change, we also must change. We can fight it or adjust to it.
Life is busy and if we allow it, it can control us. There was a time we had each kid in an activity and it was too hard. We had to place boundaries on where the 6 of us spent our times. With our involvement in church and sports activities, we could be gone every day and weekend and never see each other, because with 4 kids, Mom and Dad divide and conquer which is a blessing to have the helpmate, however, it also means you are going in opposite directions. We learned by trial and error what balance looked like for us for each year. We would pick and choose who got to do what each semester as well as for us in our Bible study times and social play time. Life could not dictate our schedule, we would!
When we say we wish time would slow down, what we are really saying is "I wish I could slow down." We long for the days of simple decisions, play times of back yard swings, chasing bugs, picking flowers, trips to the zoo to see the wonder in their eyes again. While I don't miss the tantrums and wiping hineys, I miss the smells of baby lotion and the touch of soft skin. Simple board books and tickle fights that put you on the floor rolling! Kissing the sweet little piggy toes is now spraying them with air fresheners! Counting blocks has become calculus which I am of no use to them. But one thing remains, Love. Next to Jesus, nothing puts a bigger smile on my face than seeing one of my children doing something they didn't think they could! Their joy is my joy! Seeing them accomplish their goals, showing Christ to others through their own little personalities, enduring trials without loosing hope, facing rejection without loosing their confidence, sometimes just holding their tongue...bless my heart! They may have outgrown my lap, but they will never outgrow my heart!
So, how can we slow down? There are some things we cannot change but there are many things we can change or adjust to. Here are a few lessons or adjustments I have done that make my clock tick a little slower. I pray that you find what makes yours slow down in your own home.
- Always choose people over projects. This seems to be a new buzz phrase across the media. It is a good summation of perspective. Projects will always wait. People won't. People feel, projects don't. Every day you are making history, what legacy and memories are you leaving that will forever be remembered? God chose you over works. He gave His Son for your heart to be joined with His. God chooses people every time!
- Plan ahead. So often we wait till the last minute and find ourselves scrambling and feeling like we are constantly late and 2 steps behind. We don't think we have the time to plan our calendar out a week or month ahead, but living by the edge of our seat is exhausting and we won't find rest because there will always be something that should/ought/could be done. This is true for school activities, meal planning, house chores, play dates with others or as a family alone, date nights with the spouse. Don't live each day to it's fullest (as in packing it all in) rather fully live each day. Our clocks actually count time down, not forward.
- Rest. Plan your rest. You will see and feel the benefits immediately. And those around you will appreciate your calm, centered self too! Parents don't get days off and no one will tell you to take a lunch break or a vacation, so plan for it. Every day, find time alone to refresh and rest, whether or not you actually sleep. Peace and quiet does so much for you physically, emotionally and spiritually. If you are not a Parent and maybe you are a student or Grandparent, everyone needs a break in the day. Even as a working man/woman, take advantage of those 15 minute breaks and lunch times to take it in. Step away from the desk and breath fresh air or take a short walk. You will be amazed at what this little habit can do for your focus and energy. For the Believer, these are also great opportunities to nibble on some nuggets of The Word.
- Be okay with nothing. In a culture that continually tries to sell you anything you can dream of, and have it whenever your little heart desires, be okay with not buying it! We have over cluttered our lives (body, mind and spirit) with so much extra that we end up having to spend our valuable time and energy leaning to carry the extra weight on our shoulders. And then we have to figure out what to do with it when we don't use it anymore.
- Deal with what needs to be dealt with. Don't put off things you know need to get done. You know the holidays, vacation times, submission deadlines, athletic games. You know when a child is struggling and needs extra cuddles or help. So don't add on extra projects or errands if it can possibly wait.
- Offer grace. Everyone has bad days and everyone makes mistakes...even you! We can be good about giving grace to others but we need to allow God's grace to penetrate into our hearts and minds too. I am my hardest critic. Plus my children have no problem letting me know exactly what think of things they don't agree. I have learned to accept the fact my kids aren't perfect (I thought if I prayed hard enough and taught them well enough they had a fighting chance) and neither am I "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," Romans 3:23 (NIV).
- Save your Drama. A lot can and does goes wrong within a home, within a family, within a marriage, within friendships, in the workplace, even within the walls of our church. But choose to stay on task with the issue you are needing to deal with and don't save your drama for your mama...mama got her own! Pray through every day, giving God all your plans and the unplanneds. He tells us in 1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." (NIV) There are plenty of things to complain and worry about but what a beautiful and peaceful day when we apply the wisdom and instruction of Philippians 4:8 " Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." (NIV)
- One more thing even though I could go on to complete a Top 10 List of 101 Things I have Learned...you are not...I repeat...NOT a horrible Mom if you serve frozen, from a box, not made from scratch: bread rolls, pizza, waffles, chicken nuggets or a dessert which you responsibly purchased with a coupon! I cannot tell you how many years I carried that self-imposed pain around in my heart. I longed for the dream of truly homemade e v e r y t h i n g in my home from every meal, every snack to even the furniture inside. I felt so embarrassed showing up to PotLucks with something from a bag, box or more often a restaurant and setting next to an amazing dish who's recipe had been handed down from generation to generation. At least mine would be something good enough since I can't cook like them, I thought. And the cute bows and outfits some Moms made their little girls, super cute and dreamy! As my children have grown older and the physical demands are less on me as a Mom, I have been more intentional about choosing to simplify and do what I can to provide good, healthy meals for my family. I still get anxious over the thought of hosting others for dinner, but I can do it. (I have 5 dinners, then we will have to go on rotation! haha) I no longer put the pressure on myself to be Homemade Diva but I am trying to be better. I also realize I made "cooking" a mountain out of a mole hill. It's not hard. You just have to find recipes that work for you and your family's interest, budget and time frame allotment. Pinterest has been a huge blessings for all things handmade from crafts to food to home decor! Knowing my distress, God has blessed me with a teaching Sister who can cook and bake just about anything (and you wonder why she doesn't have a catering business), and I have been blessed with wonderful friends who have come alongside me and spelled things out in Kitchen 101 Basics Just for Michele. Joy of cooking has begun! Some days, I just want to give them warm baked cookies and I don't have the time or energy for an hour in the kitchen, so I slice & bake. (If you add a few extra chocolate chips, they will taste even more delightful!) And you know what, I am NOT a horrible Mom. Even if they are Double Stuffed Oreos, I can be instantly transformed into SuperMom! I love them with all I am and in my heart, I know I give my best for each day. Always, the best I can give is my love! What could be a better gift to give?! And guess what?!? In the end, they just want the attention of their Mom and her love poured out towards them. Whether it's cookies from scratch, or a sticky note on their pre-packaged lunch, kids want love more than sacrifice. Much like our Lord, "All a man's ways seem right to him, but the LORD weighs the heart. To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice." Proverbs 21:2-3 (NIV)
- Oh, sorry....one more, One more thing. It is okay every now and then to serve dinner on paper plates and use red plastic cups. Paper towels are great as napkins and toilet paper is soft on tushies and noses! Just sayin'
Eventhough we live on Island Time here in Florida, our minutes pass just the same as our friends in the big city. I pray every morning for the Lord to lead my day and accomplish for Him what is necessary to honor Him. Some days that is a day fully devoted to cleaning my home while other days it means sacrificing dishes getting done to spend time with one of the kiddos. Laundry has sat still in the dryer all day because a friend invited me to share a cup of coffee with her and share her life and prayers with me. And I will whisper so the kids don't hear me, but we have put the kids to bed early not because they were tired, but just so we can have a date night at home...ordering something To Go and renting a movie just for us! These are heart moments that make life richer, delightful, and you savor every minute. Time does slow down when it is led by The Creator of Time. It's when you look back and see how many treasures you have made that make time feel fast because how could you possibly have lived that much life in such a short amount of time!?! Or, you have just gone non-stop, worrying your days away and you have no concept of a minute.
My pause button is Jesus! His timing is always perfect. Grace, Grace, Amazing Grace!!!
"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. 5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. 7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. 11 Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all. 12 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. 15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:1-17 (NIV)
"But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
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