Beyond Me

The Faith of a Mustard Seed

God,

As I look at all You have created and done, I can’t help but feel so small. In such a big universe, upon all the thousands of years, in the cycles of seasons, here I am. As I study Your Word, my world and my life seem so minimal. I wonder why I am here? What am I suppose to do? What good am I? How in such a huge world, can I be anything of significance?

The world gives me hope for something grander and better for a small price of Self and yet the void within me remains. The world has left a bigger and deeper void in the pit of me. I turn to Your Word, searching for the answers about my life; where did I come from, why am I here and how do I find purpose for my life. This void is dark and lifeless.

Seeking and desperate for what seems like everyone else at church has, I open Your Word with desparate anticipation of something new, a revelation for my weary soul and find once again, a Hope. Throughout Your living Word, Your spirit highlights for me the faithfulness of You. My heart leaps for joy that there is something more if I only had faith to believe. Where had my trust escaped? When did my heart begin to callous? Your Word softens me again. Hope is renewed. A new breath fills me. By faith, I can move mountains. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Comfort and Peace promised. Sins forgiven. Strength to care and be cared for. In the beginning I was thought of and planned for. There really is more to this life than waking up, working, worrying, living day to day only to one day leave this world, with nothing left of me! 

Forgive me O Lord for my unbelief. I want to be a willing and faithful part of Your wondrous plan, more than someone who once was. I know I am made to be more than my flesh. Help me walk intentionally by faith as an instrument of peace and hope for those like me who are fainthearted and hopeless. Help me root down into the depths of Your richness to build a firm foundation on The Cornerstone. I surrender my finite mind to be established where You have planted me and believe through me, fruit will bear fruit. Like a great Gardner, prune away all that hinders me, cutting away circling roots that choke. Thank You Lord for those mighty precious hands here on earth You have placed in my path to help me grow. While my flesh is tempted to compare, my spirit craves their contagious joy! Thank You for Your faithful Children who encourage and sharpen us in our weaknesses. For those who walk in the Light of Your Love and Truth where I want to walk in obedience also, such blessings in righteousness. Your Light is a lamp unto my wondering feet. I recognize that Satan is the great deceiver and has lied from the beginning of time. God, give me discernment to recognize his plot to distract me from seeking after You. 

Beyond me, my Mommy heart wants nothing more than for my own children to love You with all their heart, mind, soul and strength. Draw me closer to You Lord God so I can hear Your faintest whispers that I might glean from You and pass it on. I want more of You for You are Love. My heart's void is for True Love. May this be the greatest gift my children and their children ever receive from me. A life of love, faith, hope, salvation. Better is one simple day in Your house than the thousands extravagant I can live here. There is none like You! Help my house be Your house.

God, today, my soul has awaken! Today, I choose to renew my hope and confidence in You. When I don’t feel like I have enough faith, remind me that it begins with the smallest of seed and with the help of the Holy Spirit, it will grow from there. I am not doomed for failure when I place my hope in You for Your Love never fails. Through You, I can be an instrument of hope and love for another. I do matter. I do carry possibility for something grand, and it's You! When I am weak, remind me that I too, like so many other Godly women in my life, have the ability to yield seed from the womb of my heart and spirit. Because You live, I live. Because You abide in me, I abide in You. I am more than just me. Open my eyes to have eternal perspective. Help me see past my flesh and see as You see, obeying all that You have asked. I want to be an extension of You, spreading Your Love throughout all generations. May it be true of me that I can change the landscape of my world, saying “to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you." I ask all of this Lord cuz I love You with all that I am and there is nothing more than You that I want, need and long for. Your Love is soooo great, none can compare and it is this amazing grace of Yours that humbles my heart and causes my heart to sing Your praises. May the words of my mouth and meditations of my heart be pleasing to You. Make my life about You once again. I love you Lord! Revive Your children today, forgiving our unbelief.

Amen.

"Our soul waits for the LORD; He is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in Him, because we trust in His holy name. Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us, even as we hope in You." 

Psalm 33:20-22

"He said to them, "Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20