I feel like I could write an entire book with all the thoughts, ponderings, evaluations, questions, and realizations I have about this subject of "How I Love Thee" but I certainly do not have that kind of time right now. Many of my bloggings are "starts" to something that one day will be more. If I don't at least write a summery, I will completely forget. My memory bank has been defective for a very long time!!!!
My husband and I just completed a 6 Week Marriage class at our church. Going on 19 years of marriage, we have attended many a seminar as we have searched for improvements and during many seasons, help! No one has a perfect marriage. Two imperfect people cannot have a a perfect marriage. (This is where I could write a few chapters, but will refrain for now. This was the main theme of our study.)
This recent class we attended was enlightening more than it was practical, in my opinion. Although there were some practical helps spread throughout the 6 week study, the primary focus was on the reflection of Christ within the union of marriage...even more-so, how Christ has placed your spouse in your life as a means of drawing you closer to Him. Have you ever thought of your spouse as a tool for God to reveal Himself to you? That God wants to use your imperfect partner to teach you more about Him? To draw you closer to Him? The personality, the strengths, the weaknesses of our spouse were given to us as opportunities for us to learn more about our Lord, the Creator and Giver of our Love. Whether your spouse is an encourager that highlights your strengths and gently shares your weaknesses or if he/she is someone who challenges you, exposing your imperfections and challenging your "everything"...our partners are also partners with Christ to expose our critical need for His intercession and mighty hand in our life!
I have joked with my man about this. When I walked through the season of great anxiety a few years ago and the counselor asked me what stress triggers I might have in my life, well of course, I am married to someone very opposite from me and I have four children. Even though they are the love of my life, there is natural stress just by logistics alone, and then you add in "issues!!" It gets stressful indeed! I jokingly thanked him for causing so much stress because it was a big part of what caused me to have a "break-down" which ultimately brought me closer to the Lord. (Annnnnnd... I will another few chapters here!!heehee) (For you new readers who do not know my full testimony, I am kidding, GOD used this to get my attention and bring me back to Him! It was GOD's plan but He gave me many helpers to get there!!)
When I stopped to think about how my relationship with my spouse and my relationship with the Lord paralleled...it was thought-provoking and interesting. The first week, our teacher asked us the question, "What do you struggle with the most with your spouse?...and is it possibly something you also struggle with in your relationship with the Lord?" Hmmm, never had thought of that before...interesting! Again, I could elaborate here, but I am trying my hardest to get straight to the point.
After looking at both of these intimate relationships, I found much in common. Aside from the random and seasonal ups and downs with each, generally speaking, they have both followed a similar pattern.
In the beginning of my courtship with my Honey, we were young and had not walked miles together where wisdom had been gained. Nope, we were typical teens...young, in love, infatuated with each other, focused on the details of a wedding, graduation, moving in together and starting a life as Husband and Wife. We wanted to see the world and share everything together. We did not get married wondering how God would reveal Himself to each of us through the other...how God would use me to shape him, and him to shape me. Nope, it was just two love birds eager and ready to get married, travel and start our own little family!!
With lots of logged miles under our belts here in 2011, I recognize our love was young and immature. We didn't have deep roots cuz we were merely seedlings, newly planted. How can a year old Oak tree have the deep and thick roots of an Oak that has been taken care of for over 30 years?! It won't be the same. The scriptures also describe how we move from (spiritual) milk to meat. Knowledge and wisdom take time to develop richly. I believe that's another reason why it is critical for us to share friendships with those of every age for the purposes of mentorships. (Again....ohhhh I'd like to keep going, but I won't....ugh!!)
Our relationships....their beginnings are simple, basic and on the surface where attention is more about the "doings." Then, as your relationship grows, you get beyond the surface and logistics and work patiently through learning curves, traveling to the heart and spirit of the person. Digging deep takes time individually and especially as two persons sharing a relationship. Roots need to be nourished in order to take roots deep. They don't just happen.
The beginning of my marriage began with "doings": what I could do for him, what he could do for me and getting to know eachother as we learned how to function in our new "oneness." Over time, we developed a level of comfort and familiarity where we didn't have to "think" and "do" with such great effort. Pleasing each other and working together as a team came easier year after year, through trials and triumphs. Over time, our hearts became our focus. It no longer matters to me what he can "do" for me, although I do appreciate all that he does to provide and bless our family!! His heart matters much more to me than anything. As long as his heart is sold out to Jesus and he is still committed to loving me, that is what I care about.
I know him at a much deeper level than I did in 1989 when I met him. Because of the time we have spent together, because of all the experiences (good and tough), I see him from the inside out, not the outside in. We share something together that no one else on this earth has with us. This is what I keep telling my older boys who are showing interests in the girls...know her heart! She needs to love the Lord more than she loves you...and you should love the Lord enough to trust Him to bless you with the hand of the perfect girl for you!! Her cuteness is a bonus but it is not the basis of anything but infatuation. (Opps, sorry, another topic for another time....)
This is true for my relationship with my Heavenly Love. In the beginning, and sadly for way too many years, I focused on what I needed to "do" for Him and tried to learn about all that He could "do" for me. These things are important, to understand the person of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Who He is, what He can and will do, His power and strength. However, it was just over the past three years that I began to learn about the heart of God. I am much more concerned today with understanding His heart than I am what He can "do" for me. His salvation was already more than I could ever ask.
The most wonderful thing about my husband is how much He loves me. And I surely Love him. It's a unified feeling AND a commitment I choose to keep.
The most wonderful thing about the Lord my God is how much He loves me. And I surely Love Him. It's a unified feeling AND a commitment I choose to keep.
No comments:
Post a Comment