No, I am not back in formal school, as I wish that I was, it's not the season for me to return yet. My family is my main ministry focus as well as where I am and as I go. My quiet time with the Lord are a balance between intentional study of the Word, worship, listening/meditating, and praying. For now, the classes I attend are within my church. God has BLESSED our church with awesome Godly women and I am eternally thankful for their faithfulness to heed their call to mentor to those of us ready and eager to be intentionally taught more about our Lord.
This week began a new study under such a mentor. It is the study of Deuteronomy. Because of our Fall family calendar between school, sports and life, I will not be able to attend every Tuesday night as I wish I could but I will be there when the calendar allows. I signed up for the class to continue on in the study of Deuteronomy and keep the accountability of scripture memory and study of the Word with others, even if it is through email, I know we will see each other once a week so I am still accountable in the hallways or throughout the week for "Pop Quizes."
What makes this study different than others is there is MAJOR accountability. As much as it makes me cringe, I also know I need it. Not only do we have to know it, but we have to SAY it....in class...infront of others. YIKES!!! There was a day years ago I would have dropped out of the class for the sheer terror of having to get up infront of the class and stumble through. But I tell ya, there was a HUGE relief to tighten up the bootstraps and stick it through. The other girls were just as nervous as me. They made a few mistakes, just like me. They wanted to get it right, just like me. Okay, so I am normal?! (Don't answer that~ that's a whole other blog!!)
So, other than the scripture memory, we were also asked to journal our thoughts or revelations as we study through Deuteronomy and she said us Bloggers could blog it and since I have been wanting to get back with consistency in here, this was a great place to start. I am really looking forward to writing again.
OH BOY!!!! Lessons already learned: we can become so familiar with something that we miss it altogether. I was planning on blogging about a revelation I had in my first day of study, but just as I was typing out the verse above, God said "STOP and SEE!" It took me a minute or two and then I saw it...a mistake...my scripture did not match my bible. So, I grabbed my bookmark, my bible and the bible application and could not believe I didn't catch this mistake. I have NO IDEA how in the world it happened, maybe just for this lesson alone (sorry it also affects 6 others) but somehow I copied the First Commandment in NIV and the rest is done correctly in ESV. UGH!! First, how in the world did the 2 translations mix? Second, I went over and over it to proofread and I didn't even catch the very first Commandment? I feel horrible. I don't like making mistakes especially when it affects others. So, I will quickly get the word out and remake the bookmarks before the next class.
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for Your Grace that covers every crack and fills every hole within me. As screwed up as I am, You still reign. I still belong to You. Your mercies and compassions are new every single day. It is only through making mistakes that I learn humility. Through making mistakes that I learn how to forgive. Father God, my perfectionisms are centered NOT on my glory but Yours. I NEVER EVER want to shine a poor light on YOU!!!! My greatest fear is misrepresenting You. Help me to walk in the Grace You give and not "quit all" for fear of failing, but walk in confidence that "Through It All, You are Faithful" and forgiving. You are the God of Patience and Forgiveness. Thank You for loving me enough to see me struggle so that I can draw closer to You. Whatever it takes Lord, refine me in grace! Amen.
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