It's Time...ahhhhhh!

FINALLY!!!!! A day that I didn't HAVE to go anywhere. My husband and the two big boys joined a group of men from our church for the opening day of Dove Season this weekend, so it was just me and the two little ones. It was sooooo quiet and relaxed. I could have cuddled up at any moment and fell asleep with them in my arms. It was a good day to say the least. The weather was beautiful and we did get out in it for a bit, but we intentionally enjoyed just locking ourselves in for rest and relaxation.

Since baseball season and football season began, we are constantly on the GO! And we knew it ahead of time, so I am not complaining and I am not feeling overwhelmed...I just felt ready for rest...a big rest!! One that involved me in my pj's all day!!!!

I was reminded of the verses in Ecclesiastes that say there is a time for everything. So true! As with any thing we face, there must be both "working out" and "resting in." When you are training physically, instructors recommend you trade muscles groups as well as days of working out so that your muscles can rest and rebuild themselves. When you are studying, you must take a break so that your mind can "breathe", soaking in what you've learned, your eyes can rest and get up and walk around as your body needs to switch positions. So, what about spiritually? What about serving? What about ministering to others?

Spiritually, there are plenty of scriptures that mention working out your salvation, study, prepare, put on, be ready, build up...and there are plenty that say Be still, peace, trust, hope, think on, pray, listen...I think there is a balance here too and it would be easy to do one or the other of these excessively. It seems that our culture is an "all or nothing people." It would be easy to fall into the trap of work, serve, read, study, share, tell...work, serve, read, study, share, tell. But when about a Sabbath? What about resting and thinking and waiting and listening? What about being ministered to rather than ministering? Being encouraged rather than encouraging another? What about asking for prayer rather than saying it?

No, I am not saying that it is better to be served and selfish, "it's all about me." Neither are we to work without end. There must be a balance. We should both be eager to pray, encourage, mentor, share, help, give, study, serve as well as receive prayer, encouragement, mentorship, listening, receiving helps and instruction. We should study His Word, and then listen for His instruction. We should worship and pray, and then listen for His movement. We should serve and encourage others, and then be willing to be served and encouraged ourselves.

How long has it been since you sat still before the Lord? In the stillness of these quiet moments, my mind is still, my body is rested and my spirit can only whisper, " Sweet Jesus."

Take time to honestly look where you are at and see if you are balanced. Are you all about others? Are you all about you? Are you doing all the talking with God? Are you even talking to Him anymore, just waiting for Him to prove Himself to you?

I am so thankful that God called me out of my busyness and said to settle in. I wouldn't have probably done it otherwise. Oh, sweet Jesus, my saving Grace.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, 

a time to plant and a time to uproot,  

a time to kill and a time to heal, 

a time to tear down and a time to build,  

a time to weep and a time to laugh, 

a time to mourn and a time to dance,  

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, 

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,  

a time to search and a time to give up, 

a time to keep and a time to throw away,  

a time to tear and a time to mend, 

a time to be silent and a time to speak,  

a time to love and a time to hate, 

a time for war and a time for peace.  

What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men.  

He has made everything beautiful in its time. What God has done from beginning to end. He has also set eternity in the 

hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom." Ecc 3: 1-11

 

I need to be a little more "Bad"

Homework Journaling:

The question is "Is there one truth from these that you would like to put into practice this week? If so, what insight would you like to apply?"

As you already know, although the bondage of fear has been broken (PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!), fear is my personal weakness: fear of "what if", rejection, making a mistake, being hurt (both physical and emotional). For most of my life, my thoughts have been critical, analytical and yet balanced. I have always been able to see both sides and yet, fear has always been my deciding factor in making a decision. Our thoughts have a HUGE impact on what we do from the smallest of details to the big decisions in our life. From what will I wear, will I fail, who will know, what will they say, what if I am wrong, and the biggest fear of all~will I disappoint God, if I mess up, will He still love me?

I have a sweet friend who is my "Mentor in Crime." We are a great balance! She is assertive and confident and I am meeker. When we have had the opportunity to counsel or mentor another woman, I was the Good Cop and she was the Bad Cop. I was too "Good." She would say what I wished I was saying. I am thinking "what I'd really like to say is..." but the words didn't flow out. It made me nervous (fearful) to speak so bodly. But why? When I know what someone needs to hear, both love & encouragement and correction & truth in love that may be painful to hear....fear creeps in and I play it safe. Yes, I have said things that clearly GOD put in my mouth and I am shocked myself, however, more common is the gentle answer.

I know, I know, God will direct words and He does, but I fight my flesh. Satan does not want me to say what needs to be said, because we must assume that all our divine appointments are from Him, for His purpose, to draw the person in need closer to Him and we have been given that moment to Shine Light in the darkness. I also know that doesn't call all of us to be the assertive, confrontation, show no mercy type either. I recognize my "type" is quiet, meek, listening, compassion, mercy, empathy, nurturing, encouraging. But there must be a Balance; and my Mentor Sister has it. Her confidence in Christ is reflective of her love for Him. She listens, draws truths, thoughts, reasons out and then applies biblical truths confidently, boldly, assured, directly to the heart and spirit that are necessary for healing, ultimately moving them closer to Christ. I am BLESSED to have been given such awesome mentors over the years!! Cherished and precious gifts!! 

So, after reading through this lesson, with my "Good, "I want to be more "Bad." I want boldness, with might, proclaiming the truths of God, even when others reject it, no matter, being true to God trumps my feelings, insecurities and insight. Spirit trumps Flesh. GOD trumps Satan!!!!!

I wish I had time to write out all the scriptures, but I encourage you to dig into Deuteronomy and hear what He has to say to YOU!!!

To my Bad Cop, I am so thankful for you!!!! You've made me stronger. You've helped me see the way fear has affected my witness, and I fear failing Him, I fear not knowing what to say or saying the wrong thing or not knowing what to say...blah blah blah...so I will work on being 'Bad." Thanks for showing me what that looks like!! I will always be "Good" but looking forward to a little more "Bad."

Thankful for Balance. Thankful for a just God. Thankful for a God whom I can trust to lead, guide and direct me, working through all my weakness. Praying I will always move out of the way for truth and love!!! God be the glory, in all I do, in word or deed. Praying to be Bad.

My Study Today: God of Mercy

Today I was reflecting on Deuteronomy 4:27-31 and my heart fell on the ground of grace.

"And the Lord will scatter you among the peoples,and you will be left few in number among the nations where the Lord will drive you. 28 And there you will serve gods of wood and stone, the work of human hands, that neither see, nor hear, nor eat, nor smell. 

29 But from there you will seek the Lord your God and you will find Him, if you search after Him with all your heart 

and with all your soul.  

30 When you are in tribulation, and all these things come upon you in the latter days, you will return to the Lord your God and obey His voice. 31 For the Lord your God is a merciful God. He will not leave you or destroy you or forget the covenant with your fathers that He swore to them."

Isn't that awesome news even for us today?! When we make our mess, choose our own ways, we end up in places we don't want to be, dealing with things we don't want to deal with, feeling lost and alone. (To be clear- we are in tribulation because we made choices to get there as in this case or God places us there-as in Job's life, as a refining moment. Either way, we all go through tribulations. There's lots of ways in but only one way out!!)

Sometimes God will scatter us (physically or emotionally) so that we are left searching for divine fellowship, fulfillment and encounter. As we wonder seemingly aimless, we can feel lost and sometimes even abandoned, in our wilderness journey. But, He is still there with us. Sometimes the only way God can get our undivided attention is to make us "be alone." I realize now, in hindsight, as usual for me, how important it is to get away from life as we know it and get alone where we are forced to rely solely on Christ for our friendship, counsel, encouragement and correction. It's sooo easy to bounce between others and ourselves to figure out what's happening in our life but clearly God wants to be our All in All. Our Everything. Mighty Counselor. Price of Peace. The Way and The Why and The How. He is I Am.

Is He enough for you? Is He just the End of the Night Guy to run your problems by in hopes a miracle will be delivered by morning's light? OUCH!!! Meeee tooooo!!!! 

Years ago, I never would have admitted that was me and truthfully, I am not even sure that I realized I was doing it. I LOVED the Lord and He was my Best Friend who had walked me alongside me through many trials, but maybe He was only my Good Listener, the One Who Heard My Tears Fall in the middle of the night, and I know He had saved me from the pit of Hell because I had placed my trust in Him as Lord and Savior of my Life. But what about living out my daily life? What about trusting Him with actually handling the details, trials, carrying my tears for me, fixing what was broken? I was a wondering girl trying to control what wasn't, and isn't, mine to control.

Just a few years ago, as you know, once again, I found myself scattered, going where I didn't want to go and when I had nothing left, I picked my face off the ground, climbed out of the pit and looked up. And I found Him, still there, watching and waiting for me. My Only. "But from there you will seek the Lord your God and you will find Him, IF YOU SEARCH AFTER HIM WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL."

Maybe this is you too? Are you facing tribulations right now? Do you feel abandoned, scattered, alone? Turn to Him now! Seek after HIM and not the answers and reasons or the most popular method. Find Him first and He will lead you the way to everlasting, into a Promised land with Him. "For the Lord your God is a merciful God. He will not leave you!"

Heavenly Father, My Only I Am,

Thank You for your faithfulness. My spirit is in awe as I consider the endless grace You shed on me. My heart rejoices in Your steadfastness and yet feels soooo unworthy of Your great Love for such as me. I am not worthy of something so precious. Thank You Lord Jesus for the gift of unmerited favor and grace that covers Your children. Help me to seek earnestly after You, daily, Lord, that I will not find myself scattered, but resting and trusting in Your sovereignty and outstretched arms. Cause my heart to be sensitive and obedient to Yours.

God, bring people and circumstances into our lives that will mentor and teach us how to faithfully follow You who sharpen our iron, our Sword of the Spirit! Thank You for those precious few that You have already BLESSED me with who have shined Your Light in my dark places, illuminating YOU!! Bless and keep them.

Revive Your children. Remove all hindrances that keep us from coming to Your embrace. Help us seek You FIRST. Forgive us. Cleanse us. Receive our love.

In Amazed Grace, amen.

My Homework Assignment

No, I am not back in formal school, as I wish that I was, it's not the season for me to return yet. My family is my main ministry focus as well as where I am and as I go. My quiet time with the Lord are a balance between intentional study of the Word, worship, listening/meditating, and praying. For now, the classes I attend are within my church. God has BLESSED our church with awesome Godly women and I am eternally thankful for their faithfulness to heed their call to mentor to those of us ready and eager to be intentionally taught more about our Lord.

This week began a new study under such a mentor. It is the study of Deuteronomy. Because of our Fall family calendar between school, sports and life, I will not be able to attend every Tuesday night as I wish I could but I will be there when the calendar allows. I signed up for the class to continue on in the study of Deuteronomy and keep the accountability of scripture memory and study of the Word with others, even if it is through email, I know we will see each other once a week so I am still accountable in the hallways or throughout the week for "Pop Quizes." 

What makes this study different than others is there is MAJOR accountability. As much as it makes me cringe, I also know I need it. Not only do we have to know it, but we have to SAY it....in class...infront of others. YIKES!!! There was a day years ago I would have dropped out of the class for the sheer terror of having to get up infront of the class and stumble through. But I tell ya, there was a HUGE relief to tighten up the bootstraps and stick it through. The other girls were just as nervous as me. They made a few mistakes, just like me. They wanted to get it right, just like me. Okay, so I am normal?! (Don't answer that~ that's a whole other blog!!)

So, other than the scripture memory, we were also asked to journal our thoughts or revelations as we study through Deuteronomy and she said us Bloggers could blog it and since I have been wanting to get back with consistency in here, this was a great place to start. I am really looking forward to writing again.

If you want to join me, our scripture memory for this upcoming Tuesday is: "'I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. "'You shall have no other gods before me. " Deut 5:6-7

OH BOY!!!! Lessons already learned: we can become so familiar with something that we miss it altogether. I was planning on blogging about a revelation I had in my first day of study, but just as I was typing out the verse above, God said "STOP and SEE!" It took me a minute or two and then I saw it...a mistake...my scripture did not match my bible. So, I grabbed my bookmark, my bible and the bible application and could not believe I didn't catch this mistake. I have NO IDEA how in the world it happened, maybe just for this lesson alone (sorry it also affects 6 others) but somehow I copied the First Commandment in NIV and the rest is done correctly in ESV. UGH!! First, how in the world did the 2 translations mix? Second, I went over and over it to proofread and I didn't even catch the very first Commandment? I feel horrible. I don't like making mistakes especially when it affects others. So, I will quickly get the word out and remake the bookmarks before the next class.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for Your Grace that covers every crack and fills every hole within me. As screwed up as I am, You still reign. I still belong to You. Your mercies and compassions are new every single day. It is only through making mistakes that I learn humility. Through making mistakes that I learn how to forgive. Father God, my perfectionisms are centered NOT on my glory but Yours. I NEVER EVER want to shine a poor light on YOU!!!! My greatest fear is misrepresenting You. Help me to walk in the Grace You give and not "quit all" for fear of failing, but walk in confidence that "Through It All, You are Faithful" and forgiving. You are the God of Patience and Forgiveness. Thank You for loving me enough to see me struggle so that I can draw closer to You. Whatever it takes Lord, refine me in grace! Amen.