From a friend's perspective, you cannot imagine how you would respond or feel if something tragic were to happen to a loved one. When the difficult news arrives, you can count on being affected. Your relationship with that friend will change, practically/physically, emotionally and spiritually. You have a choice, you can either walk away or walk with. For me, I have found myself to be a person who walks with. My Mom was a nurturor and care-giving type, so I get that from her for sure. It's almost as if God lights this little fire under your booty and you cannot help but jump up! For the family in crisis, it is out of necessity that they must join forces, work as a team to get things done. The mentality is different. Family must learn how to function amongst their crisis. Friends must learn how to minister to the friend in crisis. (Worthy and enough for a whole another blog, but I will say this:)
Practical changes are realized when the calls for a last minute run to grab a morning coffee or enjoy a spontaneous lunch in town turn into runs to the store for meds, groceries, supplies, doctor appointments and prepared meals brought over for the family. Before, it was easy to overlook the toys scattered on the floor, clothes in secret places, not-so-delicious food discoveries in the couch cushion and a game of tic-tac-toe possible on the dust lined shelf. It didn't phase you, until now. Now, you see the toys, the dust, the clothes and your heart goes out, your hands and feet want to get busy. No judgement, but compassion. Practical help. The Giver cannot give unless the Receiver receives. Do you know how to give? Do you know how to receive? There will come a day when you will experience both. God is kind.
Emotionally, speaking for myself personally on this one~crisis changes you, in ways you like and ways you don't like. In my season of crisis (not comparing to this friend's great challenge), my emotions went from controlled and predictable to all over the place, as if they had their own way about them. I tried to remain focused, calm, hopeful, happy, positive and yet it didn't always work out the way I wanted. I found myself angry, thankful, discouraged, strong, weak, scared, safe, exhausted and desperate....all in an hour's time! There is such a gift in a timely word. I had friends who would call at just the right time in my day with encouragement, prayer, distractions, and counsel. Seeds of much needed nourishment in a desperately desolate land. God is Gracious.
Spiritually, oh the journey He takes us on. When we are the one in crisis, you can easily feel overwhelmed with all the mounding decisions that need to be made, medications taken, activities and responsibilities delegated out, etc. You know God is near and yet there are those lingering moments that you wonder "Is He going to rescue me today?" "Will He stay with me to the end of this?" The answer is YES! His promises are true and it becomes a great blessing and necessity for the family of God to surround this loved one, praying without ceasing, revealing and speaking truth into their heart, mind and spirit. I would even go as far as to say it is our responsibility to encourage one another, pray without ceasing and love without ending.
What a blessing, honor and privilege to stand in the gap for another. Prayer is a powerful tool. God listens. It is not always warm and fuzzy. I have felt such great heaviness in my chest when I have prayed for a burdened Sister in Christ that it ached. I have felt my heart literally leap for joy in good news shared and victories won and sink in the weight of a situation. The more we ask God to use us He will. His family should help us put on our battle gear when war breaks out in our life. God is Refuge.
Won't you ask God to use you to bless another, to stand for and with them? To help them believe until they do for themself? With God's help, it is not about anything you can or will do for them. Just be that vessel. We cannot possibly know what it is their spirit needs, so we must just be available. He may call you to pray, help, feed, or simply be there. God is Merciful.
(If you are the one in crisis, and you feel as if you are alone and you do not feel like you have any one near to help you, pray and ask God for help. He cares for you and He will provide for you. He will be that BFF you are looking for. He will send you rescue, peace and comfort. Be patient. Be strong and courageous.)
My friend is one of those people that says what they mean, charges ahead full speed with life and you don't have to wonder what she's thinking cuz she tells ya! Although she is still that same girl on the inside, her outside is painfully different. Her weight has changed drastically, the way she must eat, the many limitations she has due to lack of strength and energy. And yet, on the inside, she is still one strong and courageous woman of God! God is our Rock.
Recently I was blessed to have the honor to pray over her with a few close friends. Many of us have brought meals and given support with practical needs, including taking up love offerings to help offset the mounding medical bills, but to pray with and for your friend....that's a blessing.
Because of the location of her treatments, it has caused her to loose her voice. She is able to push out a strong whisper however. As we asked her for updates on how she was feeling, how was her husband doing, the kids...she would get out a few words and then signal to her closest friend, we'll call her her BFF to finish for her. Her BFF had been at her house each time I had stopped by, so it is evident that she has been a strong, caring and consistent support for our mutual friend.
With just a look or a gesture, the BFF was able to communicate on behalf of our friend with detail. From info on the treatments, medications, her family, her needs, her fears, her prayer needs, the BFF just knew. This only happens one of two ways: either she had written down all the Q&A's for the BFF or the BFF had spent so much time caring for her, that she simply knew. She knows the needs. She sees the needs. No doubt tears and laughter has flowed between them back and forth.
My heart left so full. What a blessing to pray for another, and even more so to witness tender-loving care between two people. I also recently witnessed this between a husband and wife as he cared for her as she underwent a double mastectomy. The look in their eyes towards each other, of deep care, sincere love, steadfastness, concern, hope and strength...you could see it and feel it in the room. They deeply trusted and depended on God's help and strength through each other. (Ok, that was a little warm-fuzzy, I must admit!!)
I am blessed to have been a part of witnessing such beautiful displays of real love. Love for another. What a reflection of God's love for us. That deep sense of compassion, strength, comfort, security that He gives us when we are in His Presence. A dear friend of mine reminded me of God's rod and staff, comforting and leading us through the valleys. What Peace to know He goes before us.
Just as my courageous friend and her BFF shared such a strength and closeness of familiarity between each other that is a result of time spent together, so it is between us and our Father and Friend. The more time we spend talking with Him, sharing our moments with Him, taking Him wherever we go, allowing Him to share the tears in sorrowful hours as well tears of rejoicing that come with each milestone crossed..until we cross that finish line and God says we have completed the race, He will walk with us hand-in-hand, sharing our walk as we approach the gates of Glory.
God wants to be your BFF. Have you been talking to Him about your day? Did you tell Him about the time you felt hurt, pain or grief? Did you thank Him for the favors, gifts and blessings He placed in your day today? He wants to hear from you. He is there. By the way~ He knows your thoughts before you, so it's not like you have the ability to hide from Him. He is all-knowing, all-seeing and all-loving! His grace is more than enough. God is Sufficient.
He will meet you right where you are.
Seek Him.
Trust Him.
Be still, rest in Him, and let Him give You the rest.
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not put out the Spirit's fire; I Thess 5:16-19
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. I Thess 5:11
I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints. Ephesians 1:18
Thank You Lord Jesus, Abba Father for Your tender-loving care. You are more than sufficient to meet any need we encounter today. God, thank You for the favor and blessings You have placed in our day, our week, our heart, our spirit. Today, we just thank You for Your Presence that will never forsakes us, is never disgusted, or exhausted. Your love endures forever, praise You Lord Jesus!
With a grateful heart, I thank You for the privileges you give us as Family of Your Family, to be able to share burdens, tears, heartaches, anger, temptations and at the same time, be encouraged, strengthened, inspired, and lifted up in Love, Your unexplainable Love. Thank You for the workings of Your hands and feet here on earth. Help us to recognize, see and feel it within our souls. Help us to receive Your love so that in our overflow, we may receive the blessing of being Your hands and feet as Giver of tender-loving care for another who needs Your strength, courage and Love.
God , draw us close to You and never let us go. Loosen our grip on any temporary thing we are holding on to and tighten our grip on Your Rock Eternal. Receive our Praise. Help us to receive all of You. In Love's precious and beautiful Name, Jesus, amen.
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