WHY? WHY? WHY??? Why do I doubt You Lord? You are so Mighty to Save and yet I find myself putting You right back into this little box I have created. Within my own human limitations I make the attempt to understand an Infinite God - His Ways, His purposes and it just doesn't compute.
After almost a year of living within the confines I allowed fear to determine, I broke through the barrier and "took off." Literally!! 11 Months of "What if I have a panic attack on a plane again" has kept me off of the plane....until NOW!!
It has been an amazing journey of trials, suffering, pain, heartache, struggle, faith, strength, courage, hope, peace and growth. So much good and so much bad only to receive God's very best!! I could list hundreds of things that God has shown me over the course of the last year with Him. Each month He seemed to reveal a little something about myself and a little about Him. One graceful step at a time, God has walked with me giving me just enough grace for that moment, nothing more and nothing less than exactly what I needed when I needed it! Isn't He good? He is a Good God. He is a Gracious God. He is a Loving Father. You cannot fight this on your own...you need something bigger...someone bigger...and that can only be Jesus. No other name in Heaven or on Earth has the power to save. redeem or restore or heal.
I am looking forward to sharing more about this past week leading up to the flight...or battle with Goliath. If you are one who struggles with panic, anxiety, depression, let me encourage you to position yourself before God. If you are overwhelmed or weak, call on a Brother or Sister in the family of God who will commit to pray for you and over you. Prayer is our direct line to Him and HE HEARS YOUR CRIES FOR HELP! We need each other!! Don't allow pride to get in the way of your healing. Seek out another who will accept you and walk this broken path with you. He/She will also be accountability for you as you start the process of healing...when you begin to fear, you let them know and they will be that objective and support, encouraging shoulder to lean on. They can speak truth in your deceptive thoughts. If you are blessed, they will even stop and pray for you!
If you are in a place you'd rather talk to a professional counselor, then do it! There is nothing wrong with talking to a counselor. It is extremely important that you make a good choice on who you receive counsel from (friend or professional). Being a Believer, I want counsel that falls in line with my belief system. For me, I want someone to show me how I can talk to God about my problem. I want tools and resources that will not separate my thoughts from Him onto what I can do for myself, rather focus on how to lay my thoughts down before Him and align them with His thoughts.
All the fretting, all the fear, al the "what if's" and IT WAS ALL GOOD. His GRACE WAS ENOUGH FOR ME!! I had immeasurable peace...wow! I still sit back and think Wow!! Wow...for me...God did immeasurably more than I could have ever thought or imagined...and I have quite the imagination I tell ya!!! (Read this: Ephesians 3:20-21) This song was my victory song...my song or remembrance and promise Saturday...for me...God is ENOUGH! Click here for the song from YouTube.
Here is the short film from the flight day! (The row of ladies behind our seat leaned forward and asked us if we happened to be Newlyweds because we were taking so many pics and video of ourselves..and there may have been a few little kisses :0 every now and then! What a shock to discover we are approaching our 17th Wedding Anniversary and waiting for us back home were FOUR children ages 12-2!!!!! Funny reaction needless to say! I was able to share a brief testimony and they cheered me on!)
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