Pain You Can't See

Some days the pain is intense and frustrating.  Even though it may not stop me completely, it most certainly slows me down. Most days are good days like the many past yesterdays but there's days like today I wish I could sleep it off for a few hours and wake up refreshed and spunky, back at the tasks needing to be accomplished today.

Over a year ago I slipped on a wet spot at the local grocery store. They apparently had watered their fresh produce section as the hose was stretched out and the rugs below were marked half way with the water line, but there were no caution cones to draw my attention to the recent wet zone. Yes, I was totally embarrassed but the lasting wound wasn't my pride. It was my neck. It has been whiplashed, without the car, just the cart!

In the beginning there were more awful days than good days. I couldn't carry any weight, including my Study Bible or a purse. For a while, I could not work in the yard, do our laundry, and my favorite thing living here in Florida: paddle boarding and snorkeling. Even a simple ride on the boat had me on edge for the slightest bounce. Over time with therapy and oils, strength has slowly come back but every now and then, it locks up and swells. Pressure builds in my ears causing ringing and sensitivity to sudden or loud sounds and as if it cuts circulation, my eyes and face have a puffiness to it. Some days there are headaches with it but not always of which I am grateful. I name it my Penguin Day of limited mobility and hibernation at home where it is quiet and the ice pack and heating pads are constant rotations. Today is that day.

But life goes on despite the pain. I count it such a blessing to have an understanding hubby who steps up to the plate and helps me with the house and kids knowing I am temporarily out of commission and knows I will suck it up and do what I can in good moments and is even good about not allowing me to push too hard. Sitting helpless is not my forte'. My heart aches for those who have to deal with similar, and worse, ailments day in and day out, for years. Being out of commission impacts those around you in ways you can't imagine. It can be exhausting and frustrating for them as well.

As I rest here on the heating pad, I can't help but think of the other pains we carry sometimes for a season, or maybe even chronically as thorns in our flesh. Physical ailments aren't the only thing that can unravel and arrest our day. Emotional pains unravel us too. They hurt our bodies dare I say as equally as physical ones. Conflicts at home with a spouse or child, or in the work place, betrayals of family or friends, loss of loved ones, illnesses, and miscommunications, hurt our hearts, depressing our heart and body, figuratively and literally. When I am in physical pain, it depresses my mood and leaves me frustrated and in likeness, emotional pain hurts my body on the insides where it may not obvious to the seeing eye, such as palpitations, racing heart, headaches, high blood pressure, adrenal fatigue and developing ulcers. Stress of any form hurts us in every form of our being.

I wonder...if there was a frowning emoji that appeared on our foreheads when we were hurting deeply on the inside, physically or emotionally, how many of us would have one appear today? And would we want people to even know? Hmmm. I know some people enjoy a good pity party, so maybe some will. I am not one who is an attention seeker and is better at isolating to "deal," I would rather others not know unless I see need to share as maybe it keeps me from fulfilling a task promised. I hate attention. If I am hurting in any way, I would rather stay home alone.

Over the years, the Lord has helped me learn to share better with the trusted few He has blessed me with to pray my way through the painful moments in life. What a blessing they are to me. We all need praying friends for such a time as this. In the good times when life is full of laughter and on days the anguish consumes our body.

Despite the different pains I am feeling today, my heart is glad knowing that the God I love and serve with all of my heart, mind and soul, sees me, hears me and holds me. The longer I study His Word, I am shown that pain and suffering are just life. Our bodies were not made to live forever here in this dirt and soil, rather we were made for glory. No one knew suffering, betrayal or forgiveness and especially physical pain, like Christ Himself. 

Following Christ did not exempt followers from suffering and persecution. The Scriptures tell us these momentary sufferings produce a weight of eternal glory. Will we trust Him? Will we deny Him? Will our spirits glean hope from the cloud of witnesses who have gone before us in this life and endure this race? Will we forgive ourselves? Others? Will pain or praise be our battle cry? As Believers, strength comes from The Word and we are wise to dwell in it with ferver and consistency, putting on its armor and walking in its wisdom.

While we are left on this earth, as woman, can we also give thanks to the Lord for good hair products, cute clothes and awesome make up?!? For real. Thank You Lord! Unfortunately the eyes are windows to the soul and only a good pair of sunglasses can hide those. My closest friends can look me in the eyes and within 15 seconds know there is pain somewhere inside me. So if you see me wearing my sunglasses and it's not especially sunny, there's your first clue. I took this picture today to remind me of these thorny days that pain may threaten my praise but praise will always threaten my pain. God is greater.

Whatever pain you have inside you today, take comfort knowing God is compassionate and sees you where you are. There may remain a thorn or two in your flesh as do many of us, but God...His grace will be amazing if we give into resting in it and not fighting against it. The pain may not fully go away, and that’s a hard one to figure out but who are we to question the sovereign God who has established not only our path, but the course of all time and everything in it. Trust His timing and do not fear the trials you are facing within. Cry out to the Lord and surrender the questions and the pain to His care. He is more than able to carry you though the valley under the shadow of His wings, beside His still waters. No one else may know your pain, but God, He does.

“Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Romans‬ ‭12:9-18‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Be still my soul, be still.

Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and all that is within me, bless His Holy Name.

He is good. Amen.