Decide in your Heart to Be a CHEERFUL Giver

"The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.
 
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. As it is written, "He has distributed freely, He has given to the poor; His righteousness endures forever."  

He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God.
  
For the ministry of this service is not only supplying the needs of the saints but is also overflowing in many thanksgivings to God. By their approval of this service, they will glorify God because of your submission flowing from your confession of the gospel of Christ, and the generosity of your contribution for them and for all others, while they long for you and pray for you, because of the surpassing grace of God upon you.
 
Thanks be to God for His inexpressible gift" 

II Corinthinas 9: 6-15

Feel free to initiate!!

Why does it seem so "one-sided" sometimes? Do you find that most often you are the one initiating in the relationship? Or, an even harder question to answer honestly...are YOU the one always needing to be pursued?

Yes, this may surprise you to read a blog from me about "initiating." And to my Husband who is reading this, don't get all excited...I am not talking about "THAT." I know, busted the Happy Bubble!! hahaha (You should grab a cup of hot tea and a snack cuz I couldn't figure out how to shorten this so get ready for a long conversation!! Keeping it real:)

So then what in the world am I referring to if I am not talking about Marital Initiating? I am actually referring to every relationship we have. This includes all personal and professional relationships. I specifically am burdened to discuss the relationship we have with our friends and with our children.

Generally speaking, It Takes Two to make any relationship work. In the workplace, the employer should care for and instruct the employee just as the employee should care for and invest into the company they work for. As a Teacher instructs the classroom of kids, the kids should also seek out the Teacher for help (and a little Thank You I am sure would be appreciated!!). Within our marriages, of course the Man is the head of the home, but it should not be solely up to him to plan dates and "encounters." Both partners should give all they have to eachother. Neither the Romantic nor the Money Maker bears the sole responsibility of initiating anything (conflict resolutions, activities, intimacy, financial planning, etc).

Now, to the friendships and our children...
Like a marriage, our friendships are the bonding of two persons of different interests, backgrounds, giftedness, resources, habits, desires and maybe even motives or expectations. We have heard it a million times and see the sweet poems that describe how God gives us certain people for a certain season of time to accomplish something within us. I agree. Have we really thought about it though...what that means to both persons? Assuming God has crossed your paths, then what are your expectations? Do you expect them to meet all your needs? Hope they will be a good friend to you? Are you waiting on them to initiate a play date or coffee with you?  What about your part? If you want a healthy friendship, it will take both of you to serve one another. To get a friend, you ought to be a friend!

About our children...this is really my issue today. I began "chewing" on the issue of "initiating" after watching the AWESOME movie Courageous. If you have not seen it, go out and rent it, or better yet, buy it ASAP!!! Watch it with your family, especially the Man of the house. One scene bothered me and made me think. I will try not to be too specific so I don't give anything away, but there is a main character who is a Teenager. He feels "unloved and "unheard." He probably sees himself as invisible to the world. Then, a crisis comes and he finds himself in isolation. I looked at him and thought, How selfish when others are in the same boat, suffering equally. Instead of pouting, Can't he get up and offer a little bit compassion to another? Maybe do something that needs to get done? Take out the trash?!? Give Mom a cup of water or a kleenex? It's as if he's waiting to be served or needed.

Now, I know, I have already had this conversation in my head as I worked this through. ...there's the natural progression of maturity, however, Teens (or children in general) are not some helpless people group that need to be cuddled and extended extra grace as they try to find themselves. To a point yes, completely babied? No! Even my 5 year old has seen me struggle with my groceries and ran up to open the door for me a time of two!! We all need to be encouragers, not enablers...seekers, not squatters!!

We can pout can't we when we don't get our way? We just pound our feet to the ground and stomp off to our "I'll be waiting in my room for you to come make me feel better." Sure, there are times we are truly victims of an abuse or offense and it does hurt and we do withdraw for a time to work out the wrong which has been done to us. I am not referring to legitimate times of need. I can tell you for sure that there have been seasons in my life that I was no good to anyone for I was drowning in my circumstances, and my loving and faithful family and friends were certainly carrying the my side of the relationship with them. I had nothing to give...I was hurting, not pouting.

I was making dinner the other night and my own teen walked in from playing with his friends and sat straight down on the couch to watch TV. There I was buzzing around the kitchen trying to pull it all together and his Dad was out on the grill. It hit me when I heard, "How much longer till we eat? I am soooooo hungry!!!!! I'm soooo bored....."" I looked over at him and replied, "Why don't YOU take the initiative and offer some help so we can get this out faster? Why do I always have to be the one asking for help? Or how about YOU go ask DAD if he wants any help on the grill. Or see if he wants to throw the football or talk about the big game about to start!?!" He looked at me like, "Oh, I guess I could. I was just waiting."Gee, what a brilliant idea?!? Offer help or friendship instead of waiting to be served. When did we get to the place that parents must ask in order for something to be done and kids must wait to be asked? None of our other relationships work that way. It ought to be a Give-Give. 

I do know that my self-sufficient self, and my self-sufficient husband have contributed to this partially. When the kids are little and they are constantly under our feet, trying to get anything done takes twice as long working around them, so we distract them off to go play until we call for them. Cleaning up the house is faster when they are out of the way and we can fly through it and get the job done. Of course, as they have gotten older, we are able to ASK, delegate, chores/helps. I feel like we are constantly asking the kids to "Please go...(fill in the blank)." 

Also, our high expectations may have also shyed them away from trying anything for the fear of being corrected once again. I don't think this is a problem that we alone face in our home. Are we the only Parents who feel like they have to pull teeth to get things done at all, much less done correctly?!? I believe we have taught them to serve and help but I don't know that we have given them opportunities to actually walk out those teachings consistently. They are great about helping when asked, no doubt. But are they great about initiating and self-less serving??? I'm not so sure.

I am grateful that God has shown me see this while the relationship with my kids is in a good place where we all enjoy eachother's company. It would be much more difficult to encourage a rebellious teen to "initiate." So before we end up there, we will begin practicing "initiating" around the Dickerson Homstead for all those between the ages of 5-45yrs old!! The bible does clearly teach the order of authroity in the home and in ministry and even in the workplace. But within the boundaries of authority, He instructs us to serve one another, encourage one another and love another. To be patient and generous. To consider others more significant than ourselves. To stop being a baby and eat meat!! May we "grow up" and begin initiating. 

And a word of encouragement to those of you who feel like they are the sole initiator in a relationship and feel frustrated wondering when the other will ever "return the love/favor." First, is it you? Take a minute and check your expectations. Are you expecting more than they can give? Are you expecting something back to validate something in you? Be sure to check your heart that you don't fall under the category of a Co-Dependent People Pleaser, needing constant affirmations to feel appreciated. Take a step back and look at the core of the realtionship. What is it based on? What do you think the purpose is with that person (even parent or spouse.)

Or, is it God? God may have placed you in a particular relationship (friend, co-worker, spouse) because they needed a sharpening  from God through you. You may be initiating initially (say that 5 times fast-heehee!!). You may begin in a way that has the stronger of the two persons putting forth the most effort in the beginning. It should not remain that way. Even the student (receiver) should put for the needed effort to learn. God gives life and when you share Love in Jesus name, there will be life and growth will happen on both sides, even if in different ways. God is not a time-waster. Just when you think you are the one giving, you realize what you have been given to as well. Your original milk fest will become a meaty buffet in due time. 

If you are that Giver, be patient, wait on God's timing and don't expect anything more than God's expectations on you. This is only accomplished through His grace and your discernment, patience and wisdom. Don't rush. Don't push. Don't despair. Do your part to lead and let God work out the rest. 

I pray that in our It's All About Me culture, we will pay more attention to serving others. May we not sit around waiting for something to happen but pray about God giving us opportunities to make something happen!! 

I cannot wait to initiate!!!!!

"As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. 

 

 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 

 

 Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 

 

 Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms." 

I Peter 4:2,8-10

 

 

Do you see the Blue Lines?

HaPpY NEW YeAr 2012!!!!

It's hard to believe we are already at the end of Month 1 in a new year!?! Where is that time flying off to?!?! I would love to blog about the new year and planning our hopes and dreams, but that's not why God put me on the keyboard today. 

As always, these blogs are just as much for me as you. You could be the 4 people I know are faithful readers and I pray there are moments of encouragement in your readings here, but I also pray this opens up on a computer screen of a discouraged person. For those of you who know me, you know I am not a counselor, teacher, minister therefore I don't feel equipped to offer "help." HOWEVER, what I DO have is a relationship with The Great Physician, A Healer, A Compassionate Counselor and Mighty King...and The Sweetest Friend I have ever known. We have been on a long journey together and I believe He is who He says He is and He has been faithful to minister in my life. 

This is why I blog...to remind me in these journalings the many lessons the Lord has showed me. It is my prayer that I am courageous enough to be transparent in the writing so that God may be seen through any of my words. I pray you are encouraged to draw closer to Him as I am through what He says or shows to me.

The past 24 hours have been soooo sweet to my soul. Last night, the Ladies Bible study was rich and "meaty." Our teacher/facilitator has such a contagious spirit towards the Lord, in her joy, passion for learning The Word, wisdom and mentorship quality. It's been such a blessing and sharpening in my personal walk with the Lord that I am eternally blessed sitting under her instruction. We studied the Great I Am of the New Testament, only to get in my car and turn on the radio and hear "I Am" by Mark Schultz. My hands could not go up towards the Heavens fast enough!!!! The already happy smile on my face grew even larger in awe of His humor and timings. Praise the God who's timing even in the smallest and sometimes silliest things is perfect!! I sat in my driveway for a few minutes just worshiping His spirit. I noticed once I got settled into my pj's that my face hurt from smiling for such a long period of time. A face cramp? Who knew-heehee!!!

So then this morning, after a rich study time in His Word, my 5 year old comes down the stairs and the first words out of His mouth were, "Mom, why is there blue lines on my legs and all over my body?" I replied, " Well, blood gives your body life. Your heart pumps it and it flows to every part. If blood doesn't get to a place, it will be dead and you can't use it." Then this Holy Hush fell over me. The blood gives life...THE Blood, My Blood, gives you life...without it, you are dead. Of course, this was God's moment/speaking to me and it may not mean anything to you, but we can all use this reminder...It is the blood of Christ that gives us life. His blood was poured out as a ransom for me and for you. Without His blood, we have nothing. This seems to be the area where God is working on correcting and encouraging me personally.

We have to be careful not to get so caught up learning, testing, planning, solving, doing...that we forget the main point...that HE LOVES US sacrificially, to the point of death. His blood was given so that we could have life eternal. Apart from Him, there is no true Peace or Strength, or Love. Fleshy love bears conditions and preferences but the Love of our Heavenly Father is unconditional, endless, forgiving and available to all..."there is no distinction." 

Here is something called The Roman Road I'd like to share with you at the end. I wish I could hand you the solution in 3 easy steps on How to Fix All your problems, I wish I had 3 Easy Steps to Fix all my problems, (haha) but what I do have is Peace and Hope in my circumstances that a faithful God is working through on my behalf for my good and His glory.

May we take time to step back from everything and reflect on the core meaning of it...

In your marriage and friendships - have you stepped out of the busy and demanding schedules, set aside conflicts and looked at your spouse/friend through the gracious and loving eyes of the Lord at him/her? You were purposed to be together for such a time as this and you have made the commitment to be partners in this lifetime. Are you being faithful in your commitment? Your marriage/friendship is a ministry, to each other and your family and friends and to the watching world...all for the Glory of God. Remember?!?

With your children- do you remember they were given to you as a Gift? When was the last time you put down the calendar and spent one on one time with your Gift? Wait, did you forget they were a gift, not an issue?!? (Same is true of our spouse, they are our friend, not competition.) I know how hard it can be as our hearts can receive only so many darts that love begins to drain out. Only God can fill those holes with His love and replenish your strength and bring comfort to painful areas. Do you remember that God chose you to be their parent above all others? He will use you to grow them in Christ as much as they will be used by God to bring you closer to Him. I forget the exact quote from Toy Story 3, but I love the sentiments from Ms Potato Head...taking off these Angry Eyes! Won't you trade your disappointing eyes to appreciating eyes. See them in True Love's name.

Most importantly, your relationship with God- have you gotten so busy studying and trying to figure things out that you have forgotten the simple and yet profound fact the He loves you. You are loved with a pure, unconditional love and will never be forsaken. Never forget His love. Never doubt His love. He is faithful when the rest of the world is not. He will be there to catch you if you fall. There is none like Him. 

I will exercise great restraint right now from going on and on about the Love of our Father, the love we share with others and the meaning of it all...I'd be here all week!!!!! I am praying that you too will just take some time to settle your spirit, mind, soul and body to reflect and notice your blue lines. Notice the Blood in your life. Is there anywhere in you that there are clots? Ask God to open you up and allow the Blood to flow freely. Remember His love for you. See His love for you. Then, be a donor and "give blood" to a dying world. Share this Good News. 


With Valentines just around the corner, I cannot think of a better time to reflect on LOVE!!!

For there is no distinction (a discrimination made between things as different; special regard or favoritism): for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified (to declare innocent or guiltless) by His grace as a gift, through the redemption (deliverance from sin; salvation; rescue) that is in Christ Jesus, 
Romans 3: 22b-24

For the wages (a pledge or security) of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal (without beginning or end; lasting forever; always existing) life in Christ Jesus our Lord. 
Romans 6:23

but God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners,
Christ died for us. 
Romans 5:8

because, if you confess (to own or admit as true; to declare or acknowledge) with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified (to declare innocent or guiltless), and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. Romans 10:9-10

For "everyone who calls on the name of the Lord 

will be saved (to keep from being lost)." 

Romans 10:13